three questions for men into bdsm

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defiantbadgirl -> three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 12:25:58 PM)
1. Do you apply the three date rule (lose interest if no sex by the third date)? 2. Would you decide against persuing a long term d/s relationship with a woman if you thought her number of past sexual partners was too high? 3. Do you think it's hypocritical for men who apply the three date rule to turn women down based on their number of sex partners? Why or why not? edited because third question was worded wrong

Jeffff -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 12:30:40 PM)
1. depends on the woman 2. no, that seems silly 3 it is right for people to do as they wish Jeff

Stephann -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 12:34:30 PM)
ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl 1. Do you apply the three date rule (lose interest if no sex by the third date)? I've dated a virgin who never wanted to have intercourse for over 2 years. Having said that, almost all of my relationships incorporate some type of sexual interaction within the first date or two. This isn't something I expect or demand, but rather it simply comes naturally. I don't worry about sex, and I won't date someone who overly worries about it. 2. Would you decide against persuing a long term d/s relationship with a woman if you thought her number of past sexual partners was too high? I've dated virgins, and I've dated a girl who slept with over 300 men. Frankly, it doesn't matter to me. 3. Do you think it's right for men who apply the three date rule to turn women down based on their number of sex partners? Why or why not? Why the worry about such rules? Why not focus on compatibility. Women who are hung up about sex don't focus on the relationship, I find. I wouldn't want a relationship with someone who worries about what society or their mommy thinks; I want a woman who can decide for herself if she likes and enjoys me enough to be with me, for me. Men and women are entitled to accept or turn down a potential partner for any reason; number of sex partners (too many or too few), age, height, body oder, color of their shoelaces, whatever. Relationships don't spring from a place of obligation, they spring from an enjoyable merging of compatible people. Stephan

Kana -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 12:35:23 PM)
Rules are made to be broken.

defiantbadgirl -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 12:37:08 PM)
Good point. I think I'll rephrase that third question.

CuriousLord -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 12:40:18 PM)
quote: Do you apply the three date rule (lose interest if no sex by the third date)? Who in the vanilla world even follows that? But, honestly.. I have an ego. I have no interest any any female who wouldn't drop her panties before the first date. Probably because of this, I tend to only have relationships with those who have observed me for a while. quote: Would you decide against persuing a long term d/s relationship with a woman if you thought her number of past sexual partners was too high? Yeah. Sluts aren't attractive, unless you're just looking for a female to use as a slut, which, admittedly, many men are. quote: Do you think it's right for men who apply the three date rule to turn women down based on their number of sex partners? Why or why not? Right? It's perference, not for one to judge. Like any other dynamic, it's their choice. Why judge them unless you're looking for an excuse to be mad at them for their own choices?

Stephann -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 12:44:59 PM)
Your changed question still gets my same answer. I think you're failing to see the underlying issue, that there's no point in expecting someone to be obligated either way. Either you're compatible, or you're not. Some men date blondes exclusively, even though they have dark hair themselves. Some caucasian men only date asian women. Are they also hypocrites? Does it matter? Finding intrinsic value in yourself is FAR more useful than any expectation of being valued by another. Until you can value yourself, there's no reason for another to value you. Let go of the expectation that others should find you valuable, let go of the fears that sleeping too early, or not sleeping with him may damage the relationship, and simply enjoy his company. Be yourself. If you want to sleep with him, fuck him, screw him, have a quickie with him, great go for it! Don't assign some obligation on him for doing so. If you don't want to sleep/fuck/screw him, then don't; you have no obligation either way. Using sex as a hook, tool, or weapon to keep him will always dissappoint you. CuriousLord, I happen to adore sluts; feel free to send yours my way. [:D] Stephan

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 12:46:54 PM)
I think you are once again showing your issues with men and lack of inner security.

defiantbadgirl -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 12:49:18 PM)
No, I'm just curious since the three date rule seems so common.

CuriousLord -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 12:51:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann I happen to adore sluts; feel free to send yours my way. [:D] Ah, you're not alone. Only, fair warning.. my sluts tend to also be mentally unbalanced. But, if you also enjoy one hell of a challenge, it can keep you busy!

laurell3 -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 12:52:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross I think you are once again showing your issues with men and lack of inner security. Actually I think this time she's quoting what was said in other posts over the past few days.

Crush -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 12:54:53 PM)
There are rules for dating? Geeze....that's gotta suck.....

Stephann -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 12:57:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CuriousLord quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann I happen to adore sluts; feel free to send yours my way. [:D] Ah, you're not alone. Only, fair warning.. my sluts tend to also be mentally unbalanced. But, if you also enjoy one hell of a challenge, it can keep you busy! I've had my share of unbalanced women; can't say it's my cuppa joe. What I do value, though, is a woman who can take responsibility for her own sexuality. Such a woman might only have been with one or two partners; they might also have been with 100. The issue for me isn't the number, but rather the willingness to enjoy her life for what it's worth. Women with serious hangups about sex aren't attractive to me; neither are women who use sex as an escape. Though a crazy slut in cuffs, collar, and a ballgag can't do too much damage. Stephan

LadyLegs -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 12:58:04 PM)
Do play sessions count as dates?

bipolarber -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 1:02:08 PM)
Damn. Once again I find that there's a friggin' rule book out there, and I never got my copy.... 1. Three date rule? You've got to be kidding me! If I meet up with someone I like, I'll stick with them until THEY feel comfortable enough with me. Lord knows how many people have been burned in the past by jerks who did subscribe to such BS "rules." 2. I've had a couple dozen partners in my life. (What can I say? I'm rather picky.) Why would I be upset with someone, and bar them from being with me, just because they like sex, and variety? The only thing it definitely affects is my desire to see a clean bill of health before we play, and the determination to use safe sex practices with anyone new. (checking calander date... yup, just as I thought. This IS the twenty-first century!) Welcome to it. 3. No longer applicable, considering I don't subscribe to your previous quaetions.

defiantbadgirl -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 1:05:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann Women with serious hangups about sex aren't attractive to me Stephan I think it's safe to assume that women aren't born with sexual hang-ups.

chiaThePet -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 1:05:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl 1. Do you apply the three date rule (lose interest if no sex by the third date)? 2. Would you decide against persuing a long term d/s relationship with a woman if you thought her number of past sexual partners was too high? 3. Do you think it's hypocritical for men who apply the three date rule to turn women down based on their number of sex partners? Why or why not? 1. Well, I prefer figs, but if dates are the only fruit available, then I have been known to engage in sex in order to get some of the fleshy bits. 2. Okay, we all know Domiguy gets around, we can hardly blame her for the sudden increase in sexual relationships. 3. It would be hypocritical to eat her three dates, then turn her down because she also possesses a healthy appetite, all figs aside. chia* (the pet)

hands0n0knees -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 1:05:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl No, I'm just curious since the three date rule seems so common. I've never heard of it. As a few others have already articulated quite well, there are no rules. And in BDSM I dare say that there are even fewer (well, you know what I mean...). I have never had sexual intercourse at all with anyone I've met in this context; but that's just my experience, a singular experience.

domiguy -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 1:05:54 PM)
I can't remember the last time I waited until the third date ......For you see they were all whores. If I meet someone and they are feelin' the Domiguy groove and I am feigning the same way....Fuck!!...Lose your panties my dear....Now remove that brassiere... I don't ask how many cocks have plundered her holes as a general rule. You are an odd duck.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 1:06:05 PM)
Dang. There are rules for dating? Who made them up?

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