RE: three questions for men into bdsm

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defiantbadgirl -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 4:06:27 PM)
Why does everyone keep thinking I invented the three date rule? In answer to your question, I have no right to judge either way. I also think if you did do that and met a potential partner a few months or years later(if you were looking), they would have no right to judge you based on your past.

IrishMist -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 4:09:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl Why does everyone keep thinking I invented the three date rule? In answer to your question, I have no right to judge either way. I also think if you did do that and met a potential partner a few months or years later(if you were looking), they would have no right to judge you based on your past. Get a grip DB; nowhere did I say that I thought you had invented this silly stupid idea of sex in 3 days or I am gone. It's been around since I was in highschool, though it was never called 'the 3 day rule'. I am just throwing in some humor over the fact that most, when faced with this, automatically jump down a mans throat for it; women do it too...demand sex after a certain amount of time has passed.

defiantbadgirl -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 4:19:11 PM)
I apologize. The comment about so many acting like I invented the idea wasn't directed in particular at you. As far as women demanding sex, that's very true and I think it rocks. I just get pissed about hypocrites that demand sex in a short amount of time and then turn around and condemn others for their sexual past. Glad nobody has done that to me recently.

Aneirin -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 4:51:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl 1. Do you apply the three date rule (lose interest if no sex by the third date)? 2. Would you decide against persuing a long term d/s relationship with a woman if you thought her number of past sexual partners was too high? 3. Do you think it's hypocritical for men who apply the three date rule to turn women down based on their number of sex partners? Why or why not? edited because third question was worded wrong 1. No, there is more to a person than sex, I prefer when someone is ready. 2.No, who would I be to judge another? 3.Would a woman be interested in such a person who applied the three date rule?

pinksugarsub -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 4:56:32 PM)
i haven't run across the "3 date rule" but it takes however long it takes for me to be comfortable with a Man and want to get nakkie with Him; and i think some have grown impatient. O well. pinksugarsub

MrSpectacular -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/23/2007 5:49:10 PM)
No No Yes

Focus50 -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/24/2007 3:01:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl Why does everyone keep thinking I invented the three date rule? *Speaking for moi - because I'd never even heard of the "three date rule" until I read this thread. See, it's all your* fault! [8\|] Lol, I'm outa here - enjoy the flak.... [8D] Focus.**

Manawyddan -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/24/2007 3:53:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl 1. Do you apply the three date rule (lose interest if no sex by the third date)? No. If i believe there is some spark betwen us, I am willing to wait as long as necessary. Which isn' t to say I am willing to be put off indefinitely or toyed with like a yoyo. quote: 2. Would you decide against persuing a long term d/s relationship with a woman if you thought her number of past sexual partners was too high? No. I find the concept ridiculous for this day and age. quote: 3. Do you think it's hypocritical for men who apply the three date rule to turn women down based on their number of sex partners? Why or why not? If the men do not apply a similar rule to themselves, yes. Although I do know men who have remained virgins until they married.

NorthernGent -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/24/2007 6:42:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist ~general musing ~ Ok...is it considered bad form when the girl...ohh..woman...ohh...submissive [8D] breaks the rules and demands sex before 3 days ? Inquiring minds want to know [8\|] [:D] Not bad form, but masochistic all the same......because such a demand would lead to a long spell in sexual confinement at his majesty's pleasure.

IrishMist -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/24/2007 7:38:34 AM)
quote: Not bad form, but masochistic all the same......because such a demand would lead to a long spell in sexual confinement at his majesty's pleasure. OH my....that's not good...not good at all [8D] Umm...how about enticement? Enticement before 3 days is up....is that still grounds for confinement? [:D]

OscarHargraves -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/24/2007 8:11:09 AM)
1.) Stupid rule. MY decision is based on whether we are mutually attracted. 2.) Who cares who came before? Is she going to judge me on this basis? 3.) If there is no personal attraction then there is no point in persuing anything else. If there is, then the other stuff doesn't matter. Three things make the biggest diffence in a D's relationship. They are: attitude, Attitude, and ATTITUDE ! Everything else can be worked around if the two people are adults.

beargonewild -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/24/2007 6:22:59 PM)
1. No, I have never applied any rule concerning sex or no sex on the first date 2. The only way I'd decide not to persue a long term relationship is if we have very liitle in common and if the chemistry isn't there. The number or lack of numbers my potential partner had in the past makes no difference to me. Their sexual history happened before I came into the picture so it has no bearing on what my willingness to commit. 3. It may be hypocritical for other men to apply the three date rule. Though in my opinion, it is not for me to judge how other men accept or turn away a potential relationship. We all have our own rukes and it's not for me to tell someone else they are wrong.

adoracat -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/24/2007 10:23:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl No, I'm just curious since the three date rule seems so common. i've honestly NEVER heard that. kitten, perplexed

NorthernGent -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/25/2007 4:50:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: adoracat quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl No, I'm just curious since the three date rule seems so common. i've honestly NEVER heard that. kitten, perplexed Same here, but Christian societies do everything in 3s...... The 3 wise men.... The Holy trinity.... The 3 Degrees.... So, logically, it has to be the 3 date rule....

NorthernGent -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/25/2007 4:59:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist quote: Not bad form, but masochistic all the same......because such a demand would lead to a long spell in sexual confinement at his majesty's pleasure. OH my....that's not good...not good at all [8D] Umm...how about enticement? Enticement before 3 days is up....is that still grounds for confinement? [:D] I'm not enticable, IrishMist :-) Plus, I've had a glass room erected in my home, complete with everything she needs to survive for a few days. I put her in there and watch her for a few days in the same way a cat stalks a bird.......you know, watch her move, find out what she's all about, the way she behaves etc.....so I don't even speak to her for the first week, let alone demand sex!

osocurious -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/25/2007 7:17:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NorthernGent Same here, but Christian societies do everything in 3s...... The 3 wise men.... The Holy trinity.... The 3 Degrees.... So, logically, it has to be the 3 date rule.... laugh'n my backside off at that soz ... couldn't help commenting ... the truth in that is just Toooo frighteningly funny!! tip toes back outta the thread .. lol with respect ~ oso ~

Stephann -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/25/2007 9:01:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann Women with serious hangups about sex aren't attractive to me Stephan I think it's safe to assume that women aren't born with sexual hang-ups. Some are, some aren't, same with men. I grew up in a pretty rough home, and have had no small amount of emotional baggage. What I chose to do with that baggage, as an adult, was entirely up to me. It isn't a question of blame, it's a question of looking at yourself, what you struggle with, and finding healthy solutions. My mom lost her leg in a car accident at the age of 18. It did enormous damage to her, physically and emotionally. That didn't keep her from going on to have a rewarding and interesting life. She could have simply rested in a wheelchair the rest of her life; instead she uses an artificial limb, and simply walks with a limp. It isn't a question of where the problem came from, it's a question of what you're willing to do, to solve that problem, so that you can go on to have a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life. Blaming society for some double standard that you feel resented by ensures you'll never see past 'men' as a nameless, faceless group of sex hungry predatory creatures, and start seeing individual people as just that; individuals, with their own quirks, foibles, motivations, needs, and feelings. Most of them won't be compatible with you; certainly most women aren't compatible with me! Focus your efforts on doing what you need to do to find contentment in your life, and loving who you are, and the right kind of man will eventually come along. As for the pattern; my healthiest relationships (those that lasted longer than a month, that I found fulfilling, and healthy) we did in fact have sex within the first few dates. I know for a fact it didn't happen that way because I pressured them; on the contrary. I find that when women aren't pressured to have sex by a man, they feel much more comfortable with expressing their sexuality, naturally, and are just as raring to go as a man. It's not because I'm some kind of Don Juan; I think it's simply a question of chemistry. It's there, or it's not. Stephan

Momentum -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/25/2007 9:23:32 AM)
YES, NO, YES

TheIronHorse -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/25/2007 9:27:12 AM)
1. Yes 2. No, unless one or more is still hovering around in her life. The exception being if she has children with an ex spouse. 3. Yes

ExSteelAgain -> RE: three questions for men into bdsm (11/26/2007 5:00:29 AM)
Geez, all this 3 stuff is making my head hurt. I’m just going to talk without using that parameter. It is human nature for men to think about past experiences of women, but as we all grow into adults, we begin to realize it is unreasonable to be negative because a woman has had past men. Hopefully, a woman I would be interested in has been accepted by some damn body somewhere along the line. If she hadn’t I would worry about her. Still men don’t go out and talk about wanting experienced women…heh. Now what I find interesting is that women do advertise for experienced men, especially when it comes to BDSM relationships. It seems like women don’t mind that their guys have had many women. They actually regard many women in his past as a plus. I know in my relationship, I don’t mind talking about past women and she doesn’t mind hearing about them, but we rarely go into her past men. Some kind of human nature thing there.

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