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RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 12/3/2008 5:44:31 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		If someone is 'under consideration' with us, we're -thinking about it-. There's nothing formal about it.. we're deciding whether it will work or not. It won't take long -- a couple of times meeting... once to talk, once or twice while we go through some 'hands-on' to make sure xhe's going to be able to do what we need, and for hir to figure out if xhe wants to do what we want.... then we either collar or cut hir loose. In the meantime, while we're doing the 'considering' part, both sides are welcome to be considering other people. Why stress over competition? Either you want to work with one another, or you don't. If you do, nobody is going to take that away from you.... if not, it's better to know before everyone gets all immersed in coulda-woulda-shoulda's.

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***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

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(in reply to Master2Bindngagu)
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RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 12/3/2008 5:56:13 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomInMinn
There were lots of mystery about the details of the lives and backgrounds  of these "considering" Doms.  It seemed to me that these Doms were likely married or in some other way involved/committed.  Couldn't have their phone number, nope.  Could only contact them at certain times.  And there were a plethora of excuses and conditions from these Doms who wanted them so.  So for those who are "under consideration", are you sure about those who hold you in limbo?  Anyone ever experience what I've described?  I'd love to open this dialog and read your comments.


I think that concept of the "Under Consideration" that bothers me the most is that people forget that it goes both ways and as such they tend to open themselves up to be hanging on the fishing line alot longer than they should.



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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to DomInMinn)
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RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 12/3/2008 6:00:24 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		~fr~

Under consideration...to me means that im being considered...nothing more nothing less. i dont ascribe a lot of floofy feelings to it...i duly note that im being thought about and run along my merry way...im sure when i reach the end of my tether ill be brought to heel.

i dont feel that the bigbaddom has used me...odds are, if we are scening and playing privately, that was way more than 50% my decision.
i know i dont *sound* submissive there...dats cuz i havent submitted.
When i do, youll see the lowest held eyes and the deepest kneel imaginable....just you wait and see.

perse

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 12/3/2008 6:34:30 PM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		perse, you sound way to sane to be hanging here with us pervs. Now, quit it.

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" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti



(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 12/3/2008 6:38:00 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		mmm....cjan....there are those on these very boards who would beg to differ....but tanx. And i cant quit, you all are my onlyiest friends.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to cjan)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 12/3/2008 6:47:02 PM   
silkncarol


Posts: 318
Status: offline 		I've been in the lifestyle 11 years now an in those years i've only worn one Man's collar and He insisted i wear His collar of consideation first.   At the time we were living in different states doing a LDR....i was active in my local community attending munches and events in the state and He felt wearing it would offer me a measure of protection and give an outward signal to others i was in a serious relationship.  I chafed and balked at wearing it at first...i told Him i felt like a leased car, being taken out for a test drive... leased not owned!   I turned my thinking around when we discussed our feelings on what a collar meant....similar to the commitment of a marriage....and the "collar of consideration" was the equivalent of an engagement ring....the outward sign to others we were moving towards a commited lifetime together. 

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(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
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RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 12/3/2008 6:50:26 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		In my experience,  under consideration has been a way for a dom or two to get me to jump through hoops trying to prove myself while they took advantage of that and enjoyed the use of a commited and compliant submissive, with no intention of making it real on their end.  It has been a live and learn kind of thing for me.  Now, I'm careful to let my submission and commitment grow in congruence to his level of investment in the relationship.  If someone demands more from me than he's willing to give himself, he can hit the highway.  Done deal.  

< Message edited by marie2 -- 12/3/2008 6:52:25 PM >

(in reply to DomInMinn)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 12/3/2008 7:06:43 PM   
Scheherazade


Posts: 41
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		I believe it is a scam for the most part. Doms but subs 'under consideration' so they can collect them and meet any one of them he wants or even more while the subs can't. Those subs are afterall, under consideration and may not even see another email in some cases.

(in reply to DomInMinn)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 12/3/2008 7:22:45 PM   
Sanguinarian


Posts: 474
Joined: 8/13/2008
Status: offline
If anyone has ever heard of a male Dominant collaring a non-sexual service submissive, I would like to know and give that man a prize for being alive.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 12/3/2008 7:35:24 PM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sanguinarian

If anyone has ever heard of a male Dominant collaring a non-sexual service submissive, I would like to know and give that man a prize for being alive.



It's done, by both genders.




_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti



(in reply to Sanguinarian)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 12/4/2008 5:30:37 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sanguinarian

If anyone has ever heard of a male Dominant collaring a non-sexual service submissive, I would like to know and give that man a prize for being alive.


*raises hand*

i have a non-sexual relationship Daddy ...collared and owned as His daughter for over 2yrs.  

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...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to Sanguinarian)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 12/4/2008 5:38:42 AM   
natasha66


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline 		~FAST REPLY~

Either someone is ready to make a commitment or they are not.  This is just my opinion, but "collar of consideration" to me just leaves too much open to questions and interpretation of the "relationship".  Personally I prefer cut and dried, knowing what my options are, so this would not work for me.

< Message edited by natasha66 -- 12/4/2008 5:42:17 AM >

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.



(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 12/4/2008 6:11:31 AM   
phoenixrising43


Posts: 51
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline 		I agree.  I think both people should explore all options until the deal is done.  But then again, after a lot of pain and a lot of growth.  I realize I only like being submissive in the bedroom or during play.  Other than that I am an equal partner and in control of my life to a certain extent.  I know that no one is really in control of their life, even though they think they are sometimes.  The more people try to control, the more it slips through their fingers.  It's really about inspiring respect and unconditional love.  But of course a lot of people won't agree with me.  

(in reply to Scheherazade)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 12/4/2008 7:02:11 AM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		my initial reaction to the OP's question was pfft! - largely because being kept under consideration for months by someone who clearly cant commit is plain crazy! - so no i wouldnt run with that ever and id enjoy telling them why too.

being held under consideration by a D who is clearly trying to work through the pragmatic details and in the mean time is maintaining continual two way contact and a level of committment and responsiblity towards the sub under consideration, then clearly, yes it has its uses.


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even doves have pride (Prince)

(in reply to phoenixrising43)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 12/4/2008 8:00:40 AM   
Stroke


Posts: 109
Joined: 8/17/2007
Status: offline 		A Collar of Consideration is just a way to have the sub/slave treat you as if you owned them, even though you don't. The Dom reaps all the benefits but has no responsibility.

To me a collar means ownership, and ownership means responsibilities. Any collar which requires having to read the small print to understand what it stands for is a good collar to avoid. You can invent and use different collars all day long, ie. Collar of Consideration, Training Collar, Ceremonial Collar, Collar of Protection, Formal Collar, Informal Collar, Shock Collar, Dog Collar ... call it what you will, but a collar means ownership. Calling a weed a rose doesn't make it a rose. You can try to dress it up any way you please, but in the end it is still a collar. Collar = Owned.

Stroke

(in reply to DomInMinn)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 12/4/2008 10:42:33 AM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline 		The entire idea of "under consideration" is stupid. If the sub is under consideration, then so is the dominant. Either party is just as free to do whatever they want.

(in reply to DomInMinn)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 12/4/2008 4:33:29 PM   
bratb


Posts: 50
Joined: 11/7/2008
Status: offline 		With all due Respect,
 
i understand that everyone is entitled to Ttheir Oown opinions however statements like this can really confuse many submissives who are excited about recieving a
" consideration collar ! "
 
 


quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1

I usually laugh when I see 'under consideration' I always translated that as--"I'm with him/her until somethhing better comes along"



< Message edited by bratb -- 12/4/2008 4:35:11 PM >

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girl
( currently courting Lady kat & Sir Red )

(in reply to ELUSIVE1)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 12/4/2008 4:39:27 PM   
bratb


Posts: 50
Joined: 11/7/2008
Status: offline 		i would hope that Mmany Oothers here might take Your word " STUPID " to be most judgemental as i do !
 


quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

The entire idea of "under consideration" is stupid. If the sub is under consideration, then so is the dominant. Either party is just as free to do whatever they want.


_____________________________

girl
( currently courting Lady kat & Sir Red )

(in reply to hardbodysub)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 12/4/2008 4:52:41 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

mmm....cjan....there are those on these very boards who would beg to differ....but tanx. And i cant quit, you all are my onlyiest friends.


(coughs)  I beg to differ!  (snickers)

(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 12/5/2008 8:23:23 AM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

mmm....cjan....there are those on these very boards who would beg to differ....but tanx. And i cant quit, you all are my onlyiest friends.


(coughs)  I beg to differ!  (snickers)


*hands winnie a cough drop and smucks her on da back of her head.*

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 120
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