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RE: Dr. and Patient... the bad advice game. - 12/8/2007 8:09:31 PM   
Damocles809


Posts: 532
Joined: 7/12/2006
Status: offline 		What?  Your skin's supposed to fall out in patches...I must increase your prescription dosage. 

Doc, it hurts when I pee. 

(in reply to desertdancer)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: Dr. and Patient... the bad advice game. - 12/8/2007 8:11:59 PM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline 		Dr ~ of course, stop pulling your hair out.
 
pt ~ i can't get my rings off my fingers? how can i get them off without damaging my rings, i'm kinda fond of them

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Profile   Post #: 102
RE: Dr. and Patient... the bad advice game. - 12/8/2007 8:13:57 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		Cut your fingers off.

I turn 98 soon. Should I be taking better care of my health?

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(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Dr. and Patient... the bad advice game. - 12/8/2007 8:14:11 PM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Damocles809

What?  Your skin's supposed to fall out in patches...I must increase your prescription dosage. 

Doc, it hurts when I pee. 



Dr ~ Stop going pee, let your kidneys and bladder explore then deal with the mess {see slave/sub thread for details}
 
pt ~ how do i get my head to stop hurting?


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"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

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Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Dr. and Patient... the bad advice game. - 12/8/2007 8:14:50 PM   
Mellissande


Posts: 435
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline 		Cut it off

My tongue is bleeding for some reason. Any help for me?
((Wow I'm way too slow lol))


< Message edited by Mellissande -- 12/8/2007 8:16:58 PM >

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Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken.
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(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Dr. and Patient... the bad advice game. - 12/8/2007 8:16:20 PM   
desertdancer


Posts: 1095
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty

quote:

ORIGINAL: Damocles809

What?  Your skin's supposed to fall out in patches...I must increase your prescription dosage. 

Doc, it hurts when I pee. 



Dr ~ Stop going pee, let your kidneys and bladder explore then deal with the mess {see slave/sub thread for details}
 
pt ~ how do i get my head to stop hurting?



Dr- You do a line of crack, then you wont care that your head hurts.

Pt-What can I do to stop the pain in my rear when my boyfriend shoves his whahoo up there?


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Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Dr. and Patient... the bad advice game. - 12/8/2007 9:10:05 PM   
Greylynn


Posts: 575
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		Have someone else smash your fingers with a hammer it won't stop the pain the the whawho but it sure will seem like it hurts less.

Doc my eyes hurt when I look at the sun.

(in reply to desertdancer)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Dr. and Patient... the bad advice game. - 12/9/2007 4:18:13 AM   
SeraphinaKrow


Posts: 118
Joined: 10/24/2007
Status: offline 		Doc- Keep staring, the suns rays will burn them right off your face for you.. if not I have sun resistant eye droppers that will burn your eyes off faster than the sun can...


Pt- I am having trouble bending over, my knees crack and my back feels like hell... what do I do?


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(in reply to Greylynn)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Dr. and Patient... the bad advice game. - 12/9/2007 4:23:23 AM   
SeraphinaKrow


Posts: 118
Joined: 10/24/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Doctor, doctor, I can see purple spots and green stripes in my hair. What should I do?



quote:

Take a pair of pliers to your nipples to adjust the color and contrast around you.




that was a good one rubberpet




_____________________________

"Man who stands on toilet is high on pot."

"Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver"

Mistress Seraphina Krow
~Owner of My lovely pet angelica~


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Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Dr. and Patient... the bad advice game. - 9/26/2008 12:14:01 AM   
Mellissande


Posts: 435
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline 		I seem to have this horrible pain when I move my hand like this *bends hand at wrist*

_____________________________

Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken.
— jack Kerouac

(in reply to SeraphinaKrow)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Dr. and Patient... the bad advice game. - 9/26/2008 1:02:52 AM   
TabrisMaceth


Posts: 190
Joined: 9/23/2008
From: The Ghost Matrix
Status: offline 		Leeches will cure that.

-Tabris

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(in reply to Mellissande)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Dr. and Patient... the bad advice game. - 9/26/2008 1:06:46 AM   
Mellissande


Posts: 435
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline 		you seem to have no problems, A quick mercury bath should cure that!

my knee cracks everytime I move it!


_____________________________

Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken.
— jack Kerouac

(in reply to TabrisMaceth)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: Dr. and Patient... the bad advice game. - 9/26/2008 3:36:17 AM   
MadAxeman


Posts: 4171
Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
Status: offline 		my knee cracks everytime I move it!

With keyhole surgery an alternative sound effect can be installed, how about an airhorn? They're very popular.
 
The hair behind my knees seems to be falling out, this has stressed me so much that my scrotum is developing wrinkly skin. Is there any cream or surgical procedure to help me?

(in reply to Mellissande)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Dr. and Patient... the bad advice game. - 9/26/2008 3:42:32 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		a hot iron should smooth out the wrinkles, though be careful when positioning your balls on the ironing board. You don't want to injure yourself.

My new haircut makes me look like Joan Jett. WHat can i do to make my hair grow faster?


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Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Dr. and Patient... the bad advice game. - 9/26/2008 3:50:32 AM   
Mellissande


Posts: 435
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline 		manure in your shampoo of course, followed by an egg, oil and chickengrease concotion that must be left in for 12 hours every day

I can't seem to stop these salty water drops coming out of my eyes?! What is wrong with me?! *not crying, newly discovered allergies lol*


_____________________________

Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken.
— jack Kerouac

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: Dr. and Patient... the bad advice game. - 9/26/2008 3:55:29 AM   
MadAxeman


Posts: 4171
Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
Status: offline 		Bathe in whatever you are allergic to. The only way with these lil blighters is to show them who's boss.
My ear wax tastes terrible lately, do I need more sodium in my odour eaters?

(in reply to Mellissande)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: Dr. and Patient... the bad advice game. - 9/26/2008 4:02:23 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadAxeman

Bathe in whatever you are allergic to. The only way with these lil blighters is to show them who's boss.
My ear wax tastes terrible lately, do I need more sodium in my odour eaters?


i would suggest pouring maple syrup in your ears to improve the taste of the ear wax. Or...a lil char-broiling might help. Pour B-B-Q sauce in your ears and insert a lit match.

my nose is itchy. What can i do?


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Profile   Post #: 117
RE: Dr. and Patient... the bad advice game. - 9/26/2008 4:26:05 AM   
Mellissande


Posts: 435
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline 		Cut the bugger off, What's it doing there in the first place?! Better yet, You could stick a Black cat in there, light it, bingo no more itchy nose

I seem to have lost feeling in my elbow, what should I do about it?


_____________________________

Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken.
— jack Kerouac

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: Dr. and Patient... the bad advice game. - 9/26/2008 4:29:59 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		wack it with a hammer. If that fails you need to sever all the nerves in the other elbow to make them equal. A door handle can do this with ease

i hate cutting my toenails. How do i stop them from growing?


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GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
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Profile   Post #: 119
RE: Dr. and Patient... the bad advice game. - 9/26/2008 4:35:18 AM   
Mellissande


Posts: 435
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline 		Arsenic, a little in your tea should stop those pesky nails from growing

My tooth is Hurting badly and I taste blood How do I get the taste out of my mouth?


_____________________________

Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken.
— jack Kerouac

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 120
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