Padriag
Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: caitlyn
Geesh, why do I always have to follow the smart people with the well thought out posts.
When I was a kid, I learned that a whale was a mammal not a fish, because it had warm blood. Screw the part about a
whale swimming in the ocean and having fins and a flipper tail like a fish ... it was a mammal, because it had warm blood.
A tarantula has warm blood, but because it has eight legs, its an arachnid not a mammal.
Probably no actual scientists were involved in the definition of "the lifestyle" ... but who belongs where within it, probably makes about as much sense as warm blooded fish with eight legs. 
:: wanders in after everybody else cause I was sleeping ::
Caitlyn makes a good point. This thing we do, this "community" we have (which is often barely a community at all), is a mighty strange beast. We use our own terminology that is a bewildering maze of double and triple and personal meanings that we frequently argue over because we can't agree on what a slave is, or the difference between a dominant and a Top (or why most of us reflexively cap Top, but not dominant). We have long debates about SSC vs RACK when all either really boils down to is keep it consensual and try not to kill each other. Its downright bizarre when you really stop, take a step back and look at it. Statistically BDSMers (ha, how many will argue over calling us that I wonder) outnumber gays and lesbians in the US 2 to 1, yet the gays and lesbians are far better organized and far better at lobbying for their rights than we ever have been so far. We can't agree on the difference between a submissive and a slave, or if a slave can be so without a Master... we are so rife with personal opinion and individuality that sometimes I think the only things holding this community together are good wishes and duck tape.
To continue Caitlyn's biology metaphor... this "thing" we are part of is an amoeba. Its amorphous and constantly changing its shape, size and direction. I can't help but imagine there are old gay Leathermen spinning in their graves over what we've made of their legacy. Then again there are probably some that would stand up and applaud it too. What this "style of life" is today is not what it was 20 years ago... and in another 20 years it won't be what it is today. The next generation of "lifestylers" my look back at us all as a bunch of neophytes who hardly knew what we were doing. We'll be their aging grandparents reminicing about the "good ole days" when "we had to walk 8 miles barefoot in the snow just to go to a munch." This "style of life" will continue to change and grow and become something new. Despite the attempts of many of us to give it definition, to create structure and order out of the chaos, and in so doing impose our Will on others even as they try to impose theirs on us, despite all that and perhaps because of it, it keeps changing. Sometimes we find common ground, one of us speaks up with a thought or idea and others voice agreement, and for that moment we shape the seething mass into a fixed form... and then its gone again like trying to sculpt water. I watch as what we consider SSC or RACK changes... things are done by some now as "edge" play are things 10 years ago most I knew would have said was too unsafe to try. Things I used to consider edge play are becoming passe. I wonder what things will be like in another 20 or 50 years when technology makes things possible we haven't even imagined today. How relevant will SSC or RACK even be when nanotechnology makes it possible to literally flay the flesh from someone's bones, and then watch it regenerate without leaving so much as a scar. How relevant will the terms Top, Bottom, dominant or submissive even be when neurocybernetics makes it possible to feel the pain and emotions of the person you are flogging... who's the top then, who's the bottom or will everyone be switches. What will we do when a company like Real Doll finally does produce a sex doll that is a fully animated volitional robot that looks and feels like a real woman, a real man, or a shemale, or a half human half animal hybrid or who knows what else. Who knows, I'll leave that to future generations to worry about, not my problem. What I do know is there are things coming in the future that will make obsolette many of the dearly held and hotly argued ideologies and codes we have today.
All any of us can do is give voice to our opinions, our ideas, our beliefs and convictions. We can share our experiences with each other and in the process teach one while learning from another. We can talk about how things are right now, what works today, but that's about as far as it goes. Holding on to some lofty standard from 50 years ago is just living in the past, its dead, let it rest in peace. Some feel the need to be part of something larger, clubs, Houses, organizations... and that's fine I have no problem with that so long as they remember there is no one true way and just because their way isn't my way doesn't make either of us any less for it. I still remember the first time I was called a "wilder" by a member of one such group, I was offended by it at the time. I've never been one to join these organization, attend events or play parties, it just wasn't for me. I think about it now and I'm more inclined to grin at the thought of being a "wilder"... wild and free, out here on my own with a kinky pioneer spirit blazing my own trail, finding my own way. A bit melodramatic perhaps but I like the imagery, a kinky Davy Crockett, king of the perverse frontier! That's not to say I don't have ethics or boundaries, I do. I think we should all strive to be ethical and have integrity. Those things are always a good idea. But even that really comes down to something simpler. If I meet someone and they're keeping it a matter of informed consent, if they're doing their best to avoid inflicting any unintentional harm, if its about two or more people meeting each others needs in a kind of kinky symbiosis... well... their kink may not be my kink but I guess it really is okay.
So if I, or you, or any of us is a "wilder", and in a way aren't we all, then what of it? So what if we're all out here, as Frost put it, traveling into our own. Add your voice to the discussions, the debates, the arguments, and the laughter. Let the ephemeral ink stain these digital pages and stand for as long as it lasts as a testament to what you knew, what you believed and thought was true. We're all leaving foot prints in the sand, and sometimes that really does help another to find their way. But we're all also each journeying into our own, and though we may help others in the process, each of us must find our own way.
In your journey into your own, I wish you well. But don't let your voice fall silent, don't doubt you have something to say. We all have something to share.
_____________________________
Padriag
A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer
|
RE: The non-lifestyler perspective - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread