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LittleWench -> RE: "Age, race, and looks unimportant" (12/7/2007 9:44:21 PM)
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During the brief period that my profile was active I received an email from an older Dom expressing interest in meeting. I looked up his profile and he had "age, race and looks unimportant". I wasn't interesting in starting a relationship with someone old enough to be my father, so I politey replied and said thankyou but there are some areas where I feel we would be incompatible. When he questioned this I explained that he was older than I was looking for. He laughed at me and told me that age, race and looks should have nothing to do with BDSM, and hinted that I had much growing up to do.
What's wrong with having an age preference for the person you wish to have a relationship with? I am in my late 30's. I won't consider anyone under 21. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking that stand. I won't consider anyone older than 50. If you are outside those preferences, simply hit the back button on your browser and find the next profile. I have an age guide because I don't want to mother someone through their formative years, and I don't want to nurse someone through their geriatric years. If this makes me shallow in the eyes of other's I really don't care. It is my life and I know how I do and do not wish to spend it.
Race is only a factor if I think it is going to be an indicator of religion, and I certainly would not discount a profile if the Dom identified as Middle Eastern in race, but it would certainly prompt me to ask a few questions about his religious practices fairly early in the discussions between us.
As for appearance... I won't consider anyone with the following (and I would challenge anyone who said that none of the following mattered in the slightest)...
* Track marks on their body, or other apparent signs of heavy drug use. This one seems kind of self explanatory.
* Excessive piercing or tattoo work, or body modification. I understand this is personal preference for the most part, some people being really into ink and metal. I have some of both, but there is a line at which I think it stops becoming attractive for me, for others this may not be a consideration at all. I have seen photos of men who have had their penis bisected, either just the head or the whole length of the penis, and this would definitely rule them out, for both physical and psychological reasons.
* Broken, rotten or missing teeth. Here in Australia if you cannot afford dental care then there is a public dental system. There is a waiting list, but each person is seen and treated. If a person has broken, rotten or missing teeth it could be an indicator of severe financial difficulty on their part, in which case it's not a relationship I can afford to get into myself, and I do not want a Dom who isn't financially independant ... but being that there is a free dental service if they still have a rotten mouth it indicates they just don't care enough about themselves, in which case I don't want a relationship with them either.
Often appearance can be an indicator of behaviours and personality, and aren't we trying to say that by "age, race, looks arent important" that it's the personality we are seeking? Why ignore physical displays of another's personality because you feel that looks don't matter?
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