stella41b -> RE: "Age, race, and looks unimportant" (12/8/2007 9:53:27 AM)
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I'm one of these people who say age race and looks unimportant. Because to me these things are truly unimportant, especially in a D/s or BDSM relationship. I could put it another way - brain and character mandatory. The most sexual element of a person is their mind, not their body. I've dated some very attractive people in my life, but there's nothing more soul-destroying than trying to share intimacy with someone with a pedestrian mentality and no imagination. It gets pointless when bedroom fun means staring at the ceiling or picking out the patterns in the wallpaper or bedding. Intimacy has got nothing to do with lying naked next to someone, intimacy to me is being able to be completely honest, open and emotionally transparent with someone who is really really close to you. I also don't see why it's so hard to form a relationship with someone who's desperate.. Really? Does this also mean that you'd refuse to give food to someone who is starving? I have nothing against desperate people and here's why. If someone's that prepared to take a risk that they put themselves out on a limb, then this surely means that they're willing to take the risk of entering a new relationship. A new relationship is a pure risk anyway.. it could either work out, or it could fall flat on its face in days, weeks or even months. Whenever you go into a new relationship you go into someone's life totally blind anyway, you're taking on not just that person, but that person's faults, problems, issues, everything. By the same token they're taking on your issues, faults, weaknesses and circumstances. These things either bring you together or they can tear you apart, it's entirely down to how you look at these things. I mean, we all know that the photos we see on the profiles are nowhere near anything like the view of this person when say they've woken up at 7am on Sunday morning with a hangover after three hours of sleep after a heavy party. The profile is only ever the tip of the iceberg. I've yet to come across a profile which states 'I like to spend two and a half hours in the bathroom', 'I fart really loud', 'I throw tantrums when I don't get my own way', 'I have problems getting it up', 'I'm $30,000 in debt', but these are things which may or may not lie behind the profile of the person you're interested in. I mean let's face it, the whole thing is a crap shoot, or isn't it? Am I being idealistic here or realistic? This is the way I see things.
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