|
IrishMist -> RE: Different Set of Dating Rules For Lifestyle Relationships? (12/9/2007 11:46:05 AM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Padriag
quote:
ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
No one was wrong, everyone was just operating from their own unspoken expectations.. the dom that did not pay for a drink was perfectly within his own rulebook.. and the submissive leaving without saying a word was applying her rulebook.. so since no etiquette applies anymore this thread is rather silly..
Often, here and elsewhere, online and off, I see people make statements to the effect of "I don't care what others think, I do what I want." Rubbish. I do think there are many people who wish they could live that way, and some who try to do so. But I also believe it is a good way to end up a very lonely and isolated person. Part of living in a society, or being part of a group, means caring what others think. Etiquette is nothing more than a system of expectations designed to foster communication... or in other words... it helps people in a group get along with each other despite their differences. An individual who spends enough time truly not caring what others think is likely to awaken one day to find they have no friends left... no one left who cares about them or what they do... no one who gives a fig about them. We all want someone to care about us, its nice when we have a community to care about us. We form groups, clubs, organizations, tribes, societies, nations, etc. because we are social creatures... we want to be cared about. The price of that is that in turn... we must ourselves care, we must consider, we must strike a balance between our desires and those of others. We observe outdated practices of opening doors... not because women can't do it themselves... but because that action fulfills an expectation, it communicates a simple message... I care, I am worthy of being cared about. We do for others when they have done for us because in these simple gestures we are saying something... if you care about me, I will care about you... if you help me, I will help you... if you aid me, I will aid you. Etiquette is a form of communication... but the lack of it says something as well.
So I'll leave it with this thought. Regardless of how you choose to behave, whether you open doors for others or not, whether pay any attention to any form of etiquette or not... what are you saying to others with these unspoken communications? And what would you wish to say, or them hear?
.
You know Padriag; this post here hit home real hard.
I truly don’t care what people think; and yes, it’s a sad way to live. Those who I DO call friends know the kind of person I am; they accept this in me; just as I accept that they are really not that different from me; they don’t care one way or another either. However; I do know that the bonds that tie our friendships together are stronger than anything I have ever seen. They would never walk away when I needed them most; and I would kill to be at their side at their lowest moment. So, while none of us cares what others think about us; we would stand at each others side; loyal to the bone.
You are right though in that it hinders the forming of new relationships. Those who I know in real life and who I would call friend, I have know for almost 10 years or more. We have a lot of history together. But new friendships…are, like you said…pretty much impossible because it places too much responsibility on someone else to try and understand the motivations behind the behavior.
|
|
|
|
