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ORIGINAL: breatheasone

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ORIGINAL: Tigrita

I'm very excited by the concept of mindfucks, though I haven't had the opportunity to experience it much.  For me, being in control of my faculties, being able to analyze and weigh the variables and know the direction things are going and reaching logical conclusions are all driving forces in my life and the way I approach the world (I'm a scientist).  Taking away control and reason and predictability and reasonable conclusions, someone who can twist my mind into a pretzel until I don't know which end is up is something that I crave deeply.  Someone with a strategic intellectual skill applied to physically intense situations, overpowering my own logical analytical mind, and getting me scared and confused... to feel someone have that power over me is totally exhilarating.  I can't wait to delve into this more.  

If someone has that skill set...why would they want to tear down trust...and interject doubt and fear to someone they love and care about?...Why not use that skill to build up the one you love, foster trust....Edify them?

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ORIGINAL: Tigrita

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ORIGINAL: breatheasone

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ORIGINAL: Tigrita

I'm very excited by the concept of mindfucks, though I haven't had the opportunity to experience it much.  For me, being in control of my faculties, being able to analyze and weigh the variables and know the direction things are going and reaching logical conclusions are all driving forces in my life and the way I approach the world (I'm a scientist).  Taking away control and reason and predictability and reasonable conclusions, someone who can twist my mind into a pretzel until I don't know which end is up is something that I crave deeply.  Someone with a strategic intellectual skill applied to physically intense situations, overpowering my own logical analytical mind, and getting me scared and confused... to feel someone have that power over me is totally exhilarating.  I can't wait to delve into this more.  

If someone has that skill set...why would they want to tear down trust...and interject doubt and fear to someone they love and care about?...Why not use that skill to build up the one you love, foster trust....Edify them?

I think I answered that somewhat in my post to velvetears.  Because I enjoy it.  It is liberating and cathartic.  The same way we can trust our tops to hurt us and not truly harm us in pain and humiliation play, I crave the same kind of release emotionally.  Like LA said, it is a different headspace.  While you do want to truly believe it in that place and time, that place and time is wonderland.  It is real, but it isn't.  I know, it doesn't really make sense to have it both ways, but, I can't really think of a way to describe it cut and dry.  Basically it is emotional masochism, and just another outlet, potentially dangerous and destructive, not for everyone, but also potentially very satisfying when done properly between people who both enjoy it, like so many other things in BDSM. 

Why don't they use that skill to build me up and foster trust?  First of all, I expect that too, but I enjoy the temporary intensity and headspace of a mindfuck with the right person.  Second of all, why don't tops use their physical energy and their words to give pure pleasure and constructive support to their bottoms instead of causing them physical pain and insulting and humiliating them?  Because many bottoms enjoy physical pain and humiliation for whatever reason; it brings them some type of fulfillment, high, and release, for both the top and bottom.  Mindfuck is no different in that respect.

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ORIGINAL: velvetears

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I do not know his entire motivation in mindfucking me, all I know is that the result makes me feel small and vulnerable, and that is very satisfying. In my opinion a good mindfuck deepens the trust, not undermines it...

Are you saying you don't care what the motivation is behind the mind fuck just that it makes you feel "small and vulnerable" which i assume you enjoy?    Are there any motivations you would find distasteful? 

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ORIGINAL: velvetears

Thanks LA, i understand what you are saying but for me there can't be any doubt "he would", if there was then "i wouldn't" lol..... so in essence or theory i couldn't be mind fucked.   i don't say that as any kind of challenge, just saying that for me there is either trust or there isn't.  If i do trust him then he can't get me to believe he is doing something he's really not - ie i would know it was a mind fuck. 

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

there are other ways of mindfucking someone to make them believe you did something you did not do to prepare them for when you actually do it.

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Let me give you an idea of how he fucks with my mind in ways that make me feel small and vulnerable...

He recently restrained my arms behind my back and told me to do something that I tried very hard to do, and then insisted I was doing it wrong... I knew I could not do it without access to my hands, but I continued to try anyways... and yet he kept telling me I needed to try to do it this way or that way.. I kept trying until he threw me down, laid on top of me, laughed and said "It is so precious that you kept trying even though you knew you couldn't do it" as he looked at me lovingly... at the time my sense of self was small, and I felt so very frustrated that I could not comply... yet I kept trying because he said I should, and yet when it was over I felt my sense of self grow larger because I pleased him in my effort alone.. so I felt small and vulnerable, and then took pride in that... it is beautiful to me.

That to me is a mind fuck, because I believe in him enough to believe I should be able to do it because he says I can... even though I can't

And he fucks with my mind all the time when we talk, just little things that make me unsure of myself, and then turns around and feeds me to let me know I am doing what he wants...

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ORIGINAL: Tigrita

breatheasone, glad to be of assistance 

I absolutely understand that this falls very deeply into the realm of different strokes for different folks; you and velvetears just don't enjoy the same strokes I do, and I'm sure there are ones you guys enjoy that I don't. Happy stroking everyone!

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ORIGINAL: velvetears

You either love them or hate them.  i want to know how you do a mind fuck successfully without undermining the trust issues in the relationship?  

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ORIGINAL: breatheasone

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Let me give you an idea of how he fucks with my mind in ways that make me feel small and vulnerable...

He recently restrained my arms behind my back and told me to do something that I tried very hard to do, and then insisted I was doing it wrong... I knew I could not do it without access to my hands, but I continued to try anyways... and yet he kept telling me I needed to try to do it this way or that way.. I kept trying until he threw me down, laid on top of me, laughed and said "It is so precious that you kept trying even though you knew you couldn't do it" as he looked at me lovingly... at the time my sense of self was small, and I felt so very frustrated that I could not comply... yet I kept trying because he said I should, and yet when it was over I felt my sense of self grow larger because I pleased him in my effort alone.. so I felt small and vulnerable, and then took pride in that... it is beautiful to me.

That to me is a mind fuck, because I believe in him enough to believe I should be able to do it because he says I can... even though I can't

And he fucks with my mind all the time when we talk, just little things that make me unsure of myself, and then turns around and feeds me to let me know I am doing what he wants...

See that to me would have made me feel foolish, like I was being made fun of and intentionally made to look like a fool for someones amusement...It would have made me feel like the person had ZERO respect for me. But as I said before...the whole "mind job" thing just feels wrong for me. If you  and your "D" type flourish with this as a part of your dynamic thats cool... It is indeed very cool to see the many different ways we relate to each other in this lifestyle.

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ORIGINAL: velvetears

Thanks for giving the example julia.   When i think of mind fucks that bother me i tend to think of things in the more extreme range.  Nothing in what he did would undermine the trust - there was no danger involved, etc..... good example of a "good mind fuck"

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I felt as though I showed him how much I trusted him that I would continue to try even though it was futile... He never did or said anything to me that suggested he felt me a fool... he was rather proud of me.

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ORIGINAL: velvetears

FR
i wonder if there is a coorelation with hating magic and not liking mind fucks?  i won't watch magic shows, i get irritated if i am at a function and it's introduced, i have no curiosity in how it is done, just knowing it is a trick is enough for me - it is a waste of time.  Never liked magic. 

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ORIGINAL: velvetears
FR
i wonder if there is a correlation with hating magic and not liking mind fucks?  i won't watch magic shows, i get irritated if i am at a function and it's introduced, i have no curiosity in how it is done, just knowing it is a trick is enough for me - it is a waste of time.  Never liked magic.