Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: How to determine the wannabes


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: How to determine the wannabes Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: How to determine the wannabes - 12/19/2007 12:02:43 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		He may be a wannabe if his profile states "no wannabe subs" "tired of all the fakes" "don't reply unless you are ready to serve me forever" "don't reply unless you are ready to follow all my rules" "only real subs apply".

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: How to determine the wannabes - 12/19/2007 12:09:21 PM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Worng Jeff. They allways seem to say ouch when with me. Does that make me a wannabe?

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: How to determine the wannabes - 12/19/2007 12:11:05 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		I' ll answer that in a second.I gotta go and change my profile.....

(fuckin red)

Jeff


(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: How to determine the wannabes - 12/19/2007 12:12:14 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I' ll answer that in a second.I gotta go and change my profile.....

(fuckin red)

Jeff




No, I just perved your profile, you are a TWUE DOM.  I mean, a META TWUE DOM.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 12/19/2007 12:13:42 PM >

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: How to determine the wannabes - 12/19/2007 12:27:33 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		..thats cuz I changed it.......

Jeff

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: How to determine the wannabes - 12/21/2007 2:32:07 PM   
Prismfire


Posts: 48
Joined: 11/5/2007
Status: offline 		Very well said ! Its amazing how many Gods we have on here. lol

(in reply to OldBastardly1)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: How to determine the wannabes - 12/22/2007 9:50:58 AM   
LoveAndDS


Posts: 39
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chyanna

Please i need some help here, from All you Masters out there on how to see a fake from a true Master, i am sick of being used as a punch bag
sincerely
chyanna



The easy way is to look at quickly their trying to move in collaring you.  When someone understands the intricies of a D/s relationship than they'll be smart enough to let it set it's own pace.

(in reply to chyanna)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: How to determine the wannabes - 12/22/2007 1:14:58 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chyanna

Please i need some help here, from All you Masters out there on how to see a fake from a true Master, i am sick of being used as a punch bag
sincerely
chyanna


Does he have quality vanilla friends?  Do people with no sexual interest in him ask him for advice and think he is good at handling situations?  How does he treat people he is not flirting with?  That's how he'll treat you when he's done flirting with you.

(in reply to chyanna)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: How to determine the wannabes - 12/22/2007 1:17:07 PM   
ksub4u


Posts: 124
Joined: 11/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

In my opinion, they are respectful in their actions. They are reasonable. They are patient when teaching. They will admit they make mistakes and are not perfect. They do NOT have a God complex. And their's is not the one true way. They don't insist on hiding in the shadows and keeping your involvement secret.

And much more that I am sure will be added from others with more experience dealing with them.


Yes, exactly what OB said above.    Also - take your time.  Anyone worth knowing is going to let your relationship develop naturally and with respect.  Be open and honest in your communications, and if the Dom with whom you are speaking gives you reason to pause and wonder about him, listen to your instincts and do some thinking....and some talking with him to clear the air. 

(in reply to OldBastardly1)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: How to determine the wannabes - 12/22/2007 1:20:26 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: chyanna

Please i need some help here, from All you Masters out there on how to see a fake from a true Master, i am sick of being used as a punch bag
sincerely
chyanna


Does he have quality vanilla friends?  Do people with no sexual interest in him ask him for advice and think he is good at handling situations?  How does he treat people he is not flirting with?  That's how he'll treat you when he's done flirting with you.



do you by any chance have a brother or clone that lives in NJ or NYC?

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: How to determine the wannabes - 12/22/2007 1:38:49 PM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

[Awaiting Approval]



~chuckle~

red, you know Santa's watching ... and you're on the naughty list it seems. Bad girl.

(in reply to ksub4u)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: How to determine the wannabes - 12/22/2007 2:47:45 PM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		Okay, here's my list of things to watch out for. If a prospective Dom/me trips any of these red flags, I walk away...

1. If they start demanding your obedience without so much as an attempt at talking with you first...they could be a wannabe.

2. They are dressed head to toe in brand spanking new (no pun intended) leather. (if any of it is from Wilsons, that's also a bad sign) that could mean they are a wannabe Dom/me.

3. If they claim they are part of any "old gaurd" or secret society of BDSM that's a sign of being a wannebe Dom.

4. They are over 35, and still live in their parent's basement. (Also handy for spotting trekkies) is a sign they are a wannabe Dom/me.

5. They arrive at the play party by bus, or are dropped off by their Mom is a sure sign of being a wannabe Dom/me.

6. They tell you they are a great Dom, because they've read all 26 "fantasy planet" novels. (Or that they got their domination style from the Beauty series, or O, or the Marketplace... or any fiction.) This is a sure sign of being a wannabe/fake Dom.

7. They've just agreed to play with you, (a comparative stranger) and they refuse to give you a safe word, which is a sign of being a wannabe Dom/me.

8. If they are the type that barks orders like a Marine drill sargent, chances are they are a wannbe Dom/me.

These are things that I use as part of my own filtering criteria.

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: How to determine the wannabes - 12/22/2007 3:32:09 PM   
KnOcala


Posts: 260
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: chyanna

Please i need some help here, from All you Masters out there on how to see a fake from a true Master, i am sick of being used as a punch bag
sincerely
chyanna



chyanna, I read your profile and from what I can tell, you have had some bad experiences with people online. You cannot tell about anyone from just online. You have let a bunch of pixels on a screen upset you.

When I read what some guys wrote you, I snorted. Where is your self-esteem girl!! Who cares if you are a BBW, hell, so am I and I know I am the bomb and so are you.

Never let anyone take your self respect away from you and certainly never let anyone who calls themselves Dominant make you feel that way simply because you identify as submissive. There are many, many people who use the labels of D/s to mask their own insecurities and they are the ones who lash out at newbies like yourself with this nonsense.

If you let yourself get used as a punching bag, you will. Don't let it happen, Punch 'em back.

Just because you are new to the scene does not mean you are new to life. You are a grown woman, you are very pretty by the way and some guy will be lucky to find you.

A wannabe is someone who cannot get over on you; that is my take on it. I tell guys off all the time, because I do not take crap from anyone. I am very sweet until you act like a moron, then watch the fuck out.

Are you with me here, chyanna??

P.S. why ask the Masters how to determine a wannabe Master. Ask the subs.


i agree with everything said here and as far as the size, its how a woman carries herself that appeals to me regardless of size. You are a very attractive woman.  When you give someone yourself, you are also placing trust in them.  I want to be explore my submissive side but I will not me misused. 


(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: How to determine the wannabes - 12/22/2007 8:59:24 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: batshalom

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

[Awaiting Approval]



~chuckle~

red, you know Santa's watching ... and you're on the naughty list it seems. Bad girl.


I know, that is why I had to get spanked really bad last night. Today I am all sweetness and light. How boring is that?

(in reply to batshalom)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: How to determine the wannabes - 1/26/2008 5:24:02 AM   
Kennyisherenow


Posts: 13
Joined: 9/12/2007
Status: offline 		In my opinion, they are respectful in their actions. They are reasonable. They are patient when teaching. They will admit they make mistakes and are not perfect. They do NOT have a God complex. And their's is not the one true way. They don't insist on hiding in the shadows and keeping your involvement secret

Well put OldBastard. I have lots of respect for My slave. I think showing a slave respect drives them to please you more. pay attention to how He approaches you, chyanna. If He comes respectfully to you, asking about you, telling you exactly what he seeks, and allowing you to check out his offer before he calls you anything derogatory then you have a good chance of Him being real. I never call My slave names, altho some Doms do, usually the real ones will at least talk a time or 2 before calling you something. I am proud to own My slave. I dont believe I would have pride in owning a slut, bitch, whore, etc. Im not saying All that have a slut, whore, etc. are fakes but I tend to believe a Real Lifestyler would be proud to own His slave. I am open to arguments and criticism for this but this is My thoughts

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: How to determine the wannabes - 1/26/2008 6:37:22 AM   
Guilty1974


Posts: 467
Joined: 11/2/2005
From: Den Haag
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

that the torch has been passed to a new generation of kinksters -- born in this century


Now, then they would be a bit too young for CM TOS

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: How to determine the wannabes - 1/26/2008 7:25:38 AM   
warmdomination12


Posts: 20
Joined: 4/18/2007
Status: offline 		Well, the fact is there are a lot of fakes and women abusers posing as doms.
I think the first few items are these:
1. Most real Doms are interested in interviewing or questioning what your likes/dislikes and core values are to see if they are compatible with theirs.
2. They are not sending 1st emails with demanding messages to a woman that is not in their service.
3. While play and levels of play/interests may vary, generally real Doms have some level of love or affection with thier subs/slaves. They generally dont hate or despise them. They are interested in their well being. I actually think that's a responsibility.
4. Doms are self-disciplined. Their own lives are "together". How can you rule over someone elses life if you dont have your own shit together? You cant.
5. Most real Doms are emotionally mature. They arent screaming, throwing tantrums, or taking outs lifes frustrations on you.

Beyond that it is all personal likes and dislikes. Some women enjoy extreme pain or being shared. Some women want a monogamous relationship with a submissive role to their husband and some bondage in the bedroom---and that it.

To a degree, it is also a journey of self exploration for you as well. What are your limits? What do you really like/dislike.

If you are a BBW, then you decide you are happy at that size, and find men who are attracted to them---there are lots of men who do. Or, decide to change your body....that is really an indvidual decision. Everyone has preferences over body types and looks. One isnt wrong or right---its just a personal preference.

(in reply to chyanna)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: How to determine the wannabes - 1/26/2008 7:32:39 AM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		R/T, you mean? For one thing, you may not want to advertise you're a BBW with MS. I appreciate your honesty, but there are a lot of idiots out there who will read that as "she's desperate and I can do what I want with her". Scening in chatrooms has nothing to do with anything, it's a bunch of people fantasizing together, so don't take that as a measure - if you're really good at transplanting fantasy to reality I have a nice movie studio in Hollywood you might like to run. And your best protection is to write out a fetish list, listing activities and boundaries, add a stopword, and make it a contract, that you and he both sign. Most people know that transgressing the terms of a contract can land them in jail - that of course means you have to be prepared to call the cops. But it is really easy, and it is all in the initial negotiations, which you have to approach with a businesslike attitude.

Hope that helps.

(in reply to chyanna)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: How to determine the wannabes - 1/26/2008 10:30:44 AM   
Kerjin


Posts: 41
Joined: 10/21/2005
From: Seattle, WA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
P.S. why ask the Masters how to determine a wannabe Master. Ask the subs.


Wonderfully said sexyred1.  Although we, or at least I do, tend to keep track of the plethora of wannabe's I've stumbled across in this vast electronic wasteland, who better to tell if a person is a playa or not but a sub?


_____________________________

When I despair of the BS online, I remember that the ways of truth have always won. There are people that claim to be something that they are not, and, for a time, get away with the lie, but in the end they always fall. Think of it........ always!

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: How to determine the wannabes - 1/26/2008 12:21:47 PM   
AtlantisKing111


Posts: 181
Joined: 1/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

P.S. why ask the Masters how to determine a wannabe Master. Ask the subs.



Very astute advice.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 80
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: How to determine the wannabes Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078