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RE: What are you willing to do? - 12/17/2007 4:47:57 PM

MidMichCowboy

Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

Interesting question.

In my case, I am willing to and have done the following:

* Look within myself to determine my needs and desires
* Educate myself on aspects of BDSM that interest me and/or my partners
* Invest in a small toy collection and learn to use those items responsibly
* Join this site and others like it
* Create a highly detailed profile and journal clearly stating my desires and expectations It even gets read occasionally
* Expect interested parties to invest the time required to read both Sometimes it actually happens
* Expect interested parties to follow the simple instructions for initiating contact outlined therein   I'll take an email or a chat .. simple.
* Initiate and maintain contact with prospective candidates via email and IM   Yes
* Respond to contact from interested parties    I try to be polite all the time.
* Participate in available fora so that candidates may gain greater insight into my thought processes Someday, someone will read one and comment on it
* Offer contact by telephone to particularly promising candidates     I'm hopeful
* Eventually meet candidates who appear to be the type of person I desire    Yep, still hopeful.
* Avoid or terminate contact with candidates who do not meet my requirements or follow my instructions

I believe there is also a unspoken, reciprocal question here that is also important:

What are you not willing to do?

In my case, I am not willing to put myself or my loved ones at risk. Define risk in any way you like. I am also not willing to inconvenience myself whether it is an inconvenience on my time or my finances. This includes going out of my way to meet people, locally or otherwise, or outside my budget to purchase equipment.    YES, YES, YES. I must protect my family at all costs.

Thank you for posting such an intriguing topic. I look forward to seeing others' responses.

This is a good road map to follow. Nicely put.

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RE: What are you willing to do? - 12/17/2007 4:54:33 PM

Kirei

Posts: 146
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

. Just for clarification, the word "do" is a verb. It implies action. It doesn't mean sit and wish for things to happen to you.

So, just for curiosity's sake, what are you willing to do? Or, what have you done to be pro-active in putting BDSM in your life?

My life and lifestyle philosophy deals with actions more than words. So I will do anything if its the right thing for me and them. One thing you are right about people are lost as to what implies an action. Many things like love, honor, patience, etc....all require an action of doing something.

koneko

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Post #: 42

RE: What are you willing to do? - 12/17/2007 6:58:39 PM

KnightofMists

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Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

The question is simple enough. If there's an interest, desire, want, need for any of those wonderful little things that are under that BDSM umbrella, what are you actually willing to do to obtain it?

I am willing to be ME!

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Post #: 43

RE: What are you willing to do? - 12/17/2007 7:40:05 PM

LadyPact

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I've been a bit delayed in checking back on My own thread. Usually, I keep up better, but tis the season and all. I had the family out shopping.

My first reaction was a more than welcome surprise. The little something of a rant question really did bring forth some great answers. Honestly, they weren't the ones I expected, from the simple to the complex. When I wrote the original, I was really thinking more along the lines of go to munches, be honest with My partners, or accept that age can be a compatibility factor. (Those are the general answers to the original questions in the first post.) All I can say is wow! I got a lot more.

The thing is, I think there are some out there who will never really do much of anything. They'll have the dreams and the fantasies, but when it comes to putting them into action, there might be nothing. I'm kind of the opposite. BDSM sort of fell into My lap the first time around. I didn't have to go searching. When the time was right in My life, My first slave showed up. For Me, it was that simple. Then, after a while, My first slave was gone, and I made an exit.

It didn't end up being a permanent exit (obviously). However, in the meantime, I married, moved to GA, as ExSteeleAgain pointed out, to this town. Eventually, I knew what I wanted and what I had to do to get it. I had to deal with the husband who didn't know I was kinky. I had to do the research and find the groups. I was more than willing to make the two plus hour trip to Atlanta when I wasn't able to be 'out' here. (You'd have to know the place to know what I mean.) In other words, even though I had experience, I really did have to start over. There were a lot of things that I had to do to make what I wanted (again) a reality. It meant taking risks and it meant setting some priorities. It meant making decisions, and it meant taking actions. Now, I attend munches with My husband and My boy. I got into the local and not so local scene. I've been doing demos again. I attended SELF this past year and other events. I'm still learning and still growing. One of My best moments was collaring My boy last month.

None of these things would exist, if it hadn't been for the application of the verb..... do.

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Post #: 44

RE: What are you willing to do? - 12/17/2007 7:45:07 PM

laurell3

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I'm not going to post my laundry list of things I am willing to do. Everyone else has already covered that and they are all great points. I would like to say this is a great thread LP and kind of explains my frustration with the contast "poor me, life isn't fair" one-time posters we see here.

Great thread, great discussion, thanks!
l

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RE: What are you willing to do? - 12/17/2007 8:18:18 PM

AFlyInYourWeb

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

quote:

ORIGINAL: AFlyInYourWeb
Sixth, each night at midnight, I sacrifice a chicken at the altar of the FemDom Goddess. On special occasions, I spring for a cornish hen.

You may have better success with chocolate.

Otherwise, nice post. It's so refreshing to see someone who makes a point of noting another's interests that have nothing to do with "the scene" and everything to do with the person.

Chocolate!! Of course!! How could I not have known?

Everything's going to be okay now.

As to the content of early letters, I feel that I already know that the lady is into WIITWD. That is obvious from the fact that she is a member here. All of that is very important, and should be discussed in detail at some future point.

I'm experienced...which means I know that most of my future time with a lady is going to be spent in talking to each other. That means we need things to talk about, perhaps, if I'm lucky, indefinitely. Hence, my interest in their non-D/s interests. "Can I handle cross-stitching?" is a more important a question for me to ask myself than "Can I handle single-tails?"

Yeah, I need to know the whole person, not just the Domina.

But, hey, I'm a kinky guy.....

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Post #: 46

RE: What are you willing to do? - 12/17/2007 8:23:29 PM

AFlyInYourWeb

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

None of these things would exist, if it hadn't been for the application of the verb..... do.

Sorry, I can't help myself. I must quote Yoda:

"Do; or don't do. There is no 'try'."

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RE: What are you willing to do? - 12/17/2007 8:26:32 PM

ownedgirlie

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~ Fast Reply ~

I was willing to:

* Take a leap of faith
* Learn to trust
* Obey
* Look at myself in the mirror, learn myself, and change what I needed to change
* Work as hard as necessary
* Learn to be patient
* Become vulnerable
* Be honest
* Reveal myself (goes hand in hand with being vulnerable)
* Love
* Learn myself and be true to myself
* Accept the possibilities, wherever they may have come from
* Seek advice
* Be courageous
* Make healthy choices, no matter how painful they were at the time
* Expand my mind

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Post #: 48

RE: What are you willing to do? - 12/17/2007 8:26:43 PM

sammiebabygirl

Posts: 465
Joined: 10/23/2004
From: Upstate, NY
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When I first admitted to myself that I wanted something in this life style, I researched and found a local dungeon. I walked in the door and said to the staff, "I want something here, but am not sure what" They adopted me and I started my training.

I continued my exploration though local bdsm groups, by going to munches, events, demos and discussion groups.

I read message boards and look at profiles.

I meet people after talking with them online and on the phone(using safe calls).

I have a very extensive check list, which I update regularly.

I update my profile and add to my journal.

I post here and ask questions.

I no longer settle, just to be in a relationship. I know what I want, need and can bring to the right relationship. So, I wait. It will find me if and when the time is right.

jen

Oh. I also use spell check. LOL

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RE: What are you willing to do? - 12/17/2007 9:00:16 PM

crouchingtigress

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totally agree.

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RE: What are you willing to do? - 12/17/2007 9:08:21 PM

marieToo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AFlyInYourWeb

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

None of these things would exist, if it hadn't been for the application of the verb..... do.

Sorry, I can't help myself. I must quote Yoda:

"Do; or don't do. There is no 'try'."

Ooh, I like that.

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Post #: 51

RE: What are you willing to do? - 12/17/2007 9:11:31 PM

brightspot

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Little mini rant here, but still in the form of a question.

The question is simple enough. If there's an interest, desire, want, need for any of those wonderful little things that are under that BDSM umbrella, what are you actually willing to do to obtain it?

The reason I ask this is because there seem to be a number of comments on the threads lately that are a lot about talk, or a person needing things to happen to them to be happy, but it's very rare that I notice what the person is actually willing to do to achieve their goal. Whether it's complaining about fakes, or they are married, or they are too young, or whatever, it's seldom that they are actually doing anything. Just for clarification, the word "do" is a verb. It implies action. It doesn't mean sit and wish for things to happen to you.

So, just for curiosity's sake, what are you willing to do? Or, what have you done to be pro-active in putting BDSM in your life?

Maybe, this thread will get some answers that will be appropriate for LA to use as a link when these types of things are brought up week after week.

With all the crappy things that have happened since August, I am in a healing stage, which I usually never engage in anything serious until I feel well mended. So I am really not being assertive in seeking a relationship (family?).

I do know though, that when everything slows down and is back into somewhat of a peaceful groove, I will have some freedom that I haven't had in quite sometime and I will probably at some point get back to being more assertive in search for what I would like to connect with.
You know, getting more connected to the community here, meet new people, and get more involved. Maybe find some compatable person, looking for me??

But for now.....I'm resting in real/life .

Missy.

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RE: What are you willing to do? - 12/17/2007 11:43:08 PM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AFlyInYourWeb

Sorry, I can't help myself. I must quote Yoda:

"Do; or don't do. There is no 'try'."

My Master used to tell me this a LOT in the beginning. Not to be nit-picky, but it's actually "Do or do not. There is no try."

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RE: What are you willing to do? - 12/17/2007 11:45:12 PM

PanthersMom

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i was willing to learn, to explore, to give as much as i was taking. i was willing to break family ties and leave a life behind. i'm so glad i did, it's been an amazing journey!

PM

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RE: What are you willing to do? - 12/17/2007 11:47:18 PM

azropedntied

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" Live every week like its shark week " !
How fitting ..
Brightspot> always a time to heal best wishes on your journey .
I must say very good thread thanks all for sharing .

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