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Marrying your Dominant - 12/18/2007 8:21:24 AM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		if you are not married to each other do you want to be?  This of course assuming that you are in a real time healthy and loving relationship.Or do you think it would take your current relationship in a different direction that you don't want to go in. .

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Marrying your Dominant - 12/18/2007 8:26:50 AM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline 		Master Archer owned me for 5 years before he out that miniature collar on my left ring finger. We did the official marriage thing for a few reasons:
Medical Insurance
To make life a bit 'easier' for the kidlets in this Stepfordesque/Trophy Wife area we live.
Because we have the right to get married. Other don't have that right and if we don't take advantage of what rights we do have who is to say that the rightous folks might someday decide that kinky folks should not get married either.

The biggest change it made on our M/s relationship is the reaction we sometimes get from others: being introduced as husband/wife etc in leather environments. Master/slave what we are..the piece of paper is not.


_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Marrying your Dominant - 12/18/2007 8:33:14 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		Much to my Master’s and family’s dismay marriage is not something that is a big deal to me. I do think there are practical advantages of being married in terms of legal benefits and protection and social status that I would not mind being married and would expect it if he/we wanted certain things in our life.

For me no ring on my finger or collar with respective ceremony would not affect my relationship in any way. I either have my Master’s heart and hope/expect to have it going forward or I don't or will not. No ring or collar can make that happen or prevent it from going away.


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Marrying your Dominant - 12/18/2007 8:39:40 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant

The biggest change it made on our M/s relationship is the reaction we sometimes get from others: being introduced as husband/wife etc in leather environments. Master/slave what we are..the piece of paper is not.



It is ironic that the biggest reaction is not from within the relationship but from those outside.  Goes to show you that many still hold on to some mainstream thinking even when they profess they don't.

I happen to be married to Alandra.... but she is no less or more of a slave as Kyra is to me.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Elegant)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Marrying your Dominant - 12/18/2007 8:56:40 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		No, because W/we happen to be married to other people.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Marrying your Dominant - 12/18/2007 9:01:57 AM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings takenbyjohnr,

we have been in a real life, healthy (at least for us) relationship for almost two years now. He has been married once before, a long time ago; i have never been married (although i was engaged to my previous dominant). He does not put a lot of stock in marriage, although i would really love for us to get married. once He gets more used to having someone else in His space (He spent a lot of time alone and is getting acclimated slowly to having me around him more and more often) and i am established in grad school or have my phd and we settle down somewhere, we may think more seriously about it...but we're in no rush in that direction. for us, His ownership of me is more solid and permanent than any marriage license or ring could ever be.

respectfully,
annabelle.


_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Marrying your Dominant - 12/18/2007 9:09:34 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		No marriage in the future here.  Both my former husbands have passed away and Gary doesn't wish to be the third....lol. 

Being more serious, he has given me protection in his will so that i won't be homeless if he passes before me.  It's a comfort to know i'll always have a home no matter what.  I've heard of a couple cases where one partner dies and the other is kicked out into the street with little or nothing.  I'd like to encourage those who have LTR to make wills. 

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Marrying your Dominant - 12/18/2007 9:12:27 AM   
lanie38


Posts: 120
Joined: 9/14/2007
Status: offline 		No need, no thanks...

_____________________________

Don't be so humble...you're not that great. ~ Golda Meir

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Marrying your Dominant - 12/18/2007 9:23:50 AM   
BloodLuna


Posts: 403
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline 		luna and Master have both done the marriage/divorce thing twice.  As we are not christian (We are pagan) we don't hold the same level of value on Church sanctioned weddings as others and as mentioned before - a court wedding is just a piece of paper saying the gvt says you can be on each other's insurance.  Master's work has a domestic partner plan that works just fine for us. 
 
There is a level of love, respect and commitment in Master and luna's M/s relationship that she has never experienced in a marriage.  Marriage seems to put a social and subconscious expectation of "equality" on a couple that has ruined two of my previous relationships.  We both bristle at the same time when a co-worker or acquaintence even accidentally referes to me as "his wife"  Although - he does refer to himself as my daughter's step-father because, just as we don't believe a piece of paper should magically make me "his partner"  neither does it signify the special place he holds in her life.  With me being the size of a whale with the nearly ending pregnancy we've had alot of pushy relatives and even total strangers, who, noticing the lack of a wedding ring, feel they must comment about "how soon is the wedding, better hurry or the baby will be here before you can do it"  Since most of them have been over 60-70 (and NO, thats not a judgement on older folk - just a factual observation)  my standard response has been, "no plans to get married - when's the funeral?  Better hurry or death will be here before you can plan it."  Master gets so mad at luna for that but luna can't stand nosey, judgemental people. 
 
luna

< Message edited by BloodLuna -- 12/18/2007 9:24:40 AM >

_____________________________

"Old goths never die, they just need less makeup"



(in reply to lanie38)
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RE: Marrying your Dominant - 12/18/2007 9:31:14 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

if you are not married to each other do you want to be? This of course assuming that you are in a real time healthy and loving relationship.Or do you think it would take your current relationship in a different direction that you don't want to go in. .


Aside from the fact that in my country you cannot legally have more than one spouse, I do not see the role of husband and slave as the same thing. My slave is my slave; my husband is my husband.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Marrying your Dominant - 12/18/2007 9:32:41 AM   
susie


Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline 		I am in the most secure relationship I have ever been in and I certainly do not consider marriage as something that is missing or not. To us it is the relationship that counts and not the fact of a piece of paper that tells us that we are meant to be together. If it happens it does but it is not something either of us are looking for.

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Marrying your Dominant - 12/18/2007 9:34:28 AM   
SingleRarity


Posts: 320
Joined: 9/13/2006
Status: offline 		Yes, we plan on getting married at some point in the not-too-distant future.

-A&E

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Marrying your Dominant - 12/18/2007 9:37:13 AM   
gorgeous1


Posts: 367
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline 		I waited to find my dominant so I could be married to him and we have had a D/s relationship since the first date. We're going on ten years, and yes it means everything to me. I'm a traditional sort of girl.

_____________________________

Wife/property of CapnSpankins...and loving every minute of it! Visit my juicy blog http://www.kinkycrafts.info/gorgeous-blog/gblog.php for updates on my slave training!

(in reply to susie)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Marrying your Dominant - 12/18/2007 9:45:26 AM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		You seem like such a nice and special person. there is no doubt in my mind that one day you will have marriage news to share with us. He's a lucky man.

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Marrying your Dominant - 12/18/2007 9:48:46 AM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Very good advice and extra protection  is always good especially if the family decides to contest the will and they win. They usually do win especially if it is a close relative like a child or wife. Be careful. My friend is going through that now.

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Marrying your Dominant - 12/18/2007 10:26:22 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		I was married for 2 wonderful years..................out of 16. I can't recommend it...:)

Jeff

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Marrying your Dominant - 12/18/2007 10:34:03 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I am not in a current relationship.  But I wanted to put in my two cents.  After being married for 19 years and divorcing, I have mixed feelings about marriage.  I'm at a place in my life where I don't need it.  And to go into a marriage without safeguarding some of my material things would not be an option.  Also I would carefully look at the marital history of anyone I was thinking about getting married to.  I will never say never.  But it is something I would give a lot of consideration to before signing off on a legally-binding document.  I don't need a piece of paper to cement a relationship.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Marrying your Dominant - 12/18/2007 10:40:31 AM   
wisteriaV


Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline 		We believe in marriage, but not the institution of marriage. We will most likey stay shacked up until New York State recognizes us as a common law marraige..We don't need a piece of paper to prove to others we are in the relationship forever.

_____________________________

Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Marrying your Dominant - 12/18/2007 10:47:14 AM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline 		I didn't need to be married and spent years in his service without marriage. I don't think it changed anything except the way in which he uses me. It did signal the completion of the transition from strictly household servant to companion.

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to wisteriaV)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Marrying your Dominant - 12/18/2007 10:47:53 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		His kids not only know about the will but encouraged him to make the new will.  If any of them have a problem with it then all they have to do is speak out now rather than wait and pay for an attorney's new car. 

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 20
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