Christianity and BDSM (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid



Message


DollMaster72 -> Christianity and BDSM (12/18/2007 8:46:13 PM)

I am a Christian dominant man and have a wonderful relationship with a submissive woman.  I hapve been walkin though the issues around BDSM and relationship reguards sex before marriage.  I was wondering if other Christian doms have faced this.  Where to draw the lines in what is appropriate outside of marriage.  We have a D/s Daddy/girl oriented relationship and though I am being let by the spirit to curtail the more obvious physical sexual parts of our relationship, I would still like to continue working on the D/s part of the relationship and deepening our connection there.  I am would greatly appreciate advice from others who may have tread a similar path. 

I posted in this section so as not to offend those who might bristle at a "religious" thread in the regular bdsm section of  CollarMe.

Thank You,

Tim




FangsNfeet -> RE: Christianity and BDSM (12/18/2007 9:12:13 PM)

Sex before marriage is known as Fornication.

Sex outside of your or the other persons marriage is Adultry.

Thou Shat Not Commit Adultry.

As a Priest once told me in confession "Fornication is not breaking one of Gods commandments. The bible speaks of fornication but does not label the action as a sin."

While Adultry is a sin, fornication is just one of those things to avoid much like getting drunk. The bible never tells us not to drink nor to get drunk. However, it advises us that getting drunk is not a good idea.

Anyhow, there was no pentence for my confession of fornication.

Now, lets take a look at the Poly Life style.

Kink Solomon had how many wives?

Abraham slept with his Hand Maid.

Basicly, all wives already knew and appoved of there husbands actions. It was a mutual consent that other lovers where allowed and somewhat apart of the marriage.

For the most part, honesty with your partner is what matters.

Now, let's talk about sodomy. There are old Hebrew laws that speak on sodomy. Most of these laws where to be as sanatation codes much like having a cosher diet. Sodomy also became a topic in the Catholic church. However, sodomy appears to have different meanings to different people. At one time, fore play and having the woman on top, and exposing the womans full nudity was considered to be sodomy. Depending on your beliefs, do a little research and call it as you see it.

Pet and I both practice Christianity and attend a Methodist Church. So far, we've never encountered anything in the Bible of Gods Law that henders our BDSM lifestyle.

We love, cherish, and respect each other. We belong to each other as the bible request. That seems to be all that matters.

We don't care what other people think. God is our only judge.    




CuriousLord -> RE: Christianity and BDSM (12/18/2007 11:08:17 PM)

According to what's probably your religion (as I'm sure there must be some form of Christianity that deviates from this by now), it's probably immoral for you to have sex before marriage, you'll burn in hell, yada yada.

There's really not much of a way around it.

Just.. honestly, if you enjoy being a Dom, you should really consider life as a free individual than being submissive to fictional characters.  I mean, religion's great if you're a sub and need someone to look after you in exchange for obidience, but if you're a Dom?  Com'n man.  Sure the world can be scary, but don't be so afraid of being ultimately responsible for your actions that you live what time you have in this life as a slave to your own superstitions adopted in fear.




Termyn8or -> RE: Christianity and BDSM (12/18/2007 11:13:16 PM)

Fang;

I am going to call you that is it's OK, I like it because it is from an old TV show, something I do not watch anymore.
______________________________________

Anyway, to the OP. Your dilemma is not complex. It is so simple, but at times all of us need to hear something super-simplistic to uncomplicate things.

The answer is simple, keep your promises. Don't promise what you are not going to do, give or whatever, even if you have doubts, just don't promise. When you get married you make a promise, that is the whole idea. Notice all the hubbub about it before you use certain words.

I have read the Bible, and even though I am not a believer, I do respect the wisdom contained therein. My Father has actually read the whole thing cover to cover, and has successfully banished the Yehovah's Witnesses' without having to take his clothes off. But I have not. I have read the books of Moses and most of the New Testament, reading Revelations several times. Funny how it fits. Also funny is how peiople can see that it fits and cannot see how the Protocols fit. But then that is not the subject.

T




Level -> RE: Christianity and BDSM (12/19/2007 2:48:10 AM)

quote:

I am a Christian dominant man and have a wonderful relationship with a submissive woman.  I hapve been walkin though the issues around BDSM and relationship reguards sex before marriage.  I was wondering if other Christian doms have faced this.  Where to draw the lines in what is appropriate outside of marriage.  We have a D/s Daddy/girl oriented relationship and though I am being let by the spirit to curtail the more obvious physical sexual parts of our relationship, I would still like to continue working on the D/s part of the relationship and deepening our connection there.  I am would greatly appreciate advice from others who may have tread a similar path. 


A lot to think about there, Tim. I tend to agree with Fangs, that sex and adultery can be two very different things. I'm of the mind that non-adulterous sex is a good thing, done with the right mindset. If  you and yours are more comfortable abstaining though, there isn't anything wrong with that. 

quote:

I posted in this section so as not to offend those who might bristle at a "religious" thread in the regular bdsm section of  CollarMe.


Good luck with that [;)] there are some who seemingly can not help being offended at the mention of faith.




seeksfemslave -> RE: Christianity and BDSM (12/19/2007 2:55:44 AM)

quote:

Level

There are some who seemingly can not help being offended at the mention of faith.


Speaking as not one of the faithful there is no doubt that many, who hold a mistaken view of their own sophistication, make that quote absolutely true.
Christianity has a massive archive of Sado Masochistic imagery.




Dddylilgrl -> RE: Christianity and BDSM (12/19/2007 8:50:55 AM)

I too am  Christain, although  I am not a Dom. For me I do not see sex outside of marriage as a sin, as long as you are not having sex with a bunch of people, like one night stands. As for what the bible says I still have not been shown where in the bible is says that you should not have sex before marriage. Thats just my two scents on the subject. 




Stephann -> RE: Christianity and BDSM (12/19/2007 9:20:44 AM)

Ok, there's been some advice (that, personally, I think's fine, but it's) outside of the scope of your question.

I would approach the D/s aspect of the relationship in a similar fashion as any other relationship that expected sex after marriage (regardless of the reasons.)  Dates, kissing, hand holding, letters, flowers, small trinkets, anything that smacks of 'courtship' would be in order, I think.  Any vanilla activity can take a D/s twist.

With my slave, I don't hold her hand (often.)  I usually hold her by the wrist.  She rarely sits on furniture with me; often she's wrapped around my leg.  There are speech restrictions, and she's expected to prepare my coffee in the morning (we live together; but this applies in that she could cook, or serve drinks for you in person.)  These are all more service oriented issues though.

As for the emotional aspects, you have to decide how long you want to date before you're ready to marry.  It's a big decision, no question, and shouldn't be lept into.  Yet our world doesn't seem to have the patience for 'old fashioned' courtship.  Establishing a D/s relationship requires a lot of communication; tell your submissive how you feel, what's important to you, and don't be ashamed or afraid to be completely honest.  She'll be taking her cues from you; if you seem comfortable, patient, and supportive with difficult issues she'll be better able to trust you and share the same feelings.

As for situations without sex, there are lots of ways to manage it.  Avoid situations where you two spend a great deal of time alone in private places.  While it would drive me crazy, personally, spending your time with your submissive in semi-public places (parks during the day, coffee shops, movie theaters, etc) will help you avoid situations where you feel tempted to break your own boundaries.  If I were in your shoes, I'd hang a large cross on my front door (or bedroom, or wherever I can't miss it) to remind myself of why I'm waiting for marriage.  Symbols only have the power you give them, but they can be powerful reminders of your committment to yourself.  The willingness to deny yourself enjoyment for a cause builds character, I think; like a person on a healthy exercise and diet regimen values moderation and healthy living over a more hedonistic activity.  A person on such a diet doesn't keep stacks of cookies, ice cream, or cake laying around their apartment; they try to keep temptation out of their homes.  Obviously, you live in a world that expects - in fact, almost demands - premarital sex early.  What you do in your own home, though, should be dictated by your own morals.

Good luck,

Stephan




FangsNfeet -> RE: Christianity and BDSM (12/19/2007 8:45:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

Fang;

I am going to call you that is it's OK, I like it because it is from an old TV show, something I do not watch anymore.
______________________________________



What are you talking about? I'm at a loss here.

In 1999, I converted to Catholisim to support a friend who was engaged to a Catholic. In my first confession I confessed "I've commited Adultry!" The Priest was shocked. "You're married?" "No, I've never been married. The women that I've been with where also single." The priest replied "Oh, you had sex without being married. That's just fonication and not Adultry within the ten commandments. Adultry is a commandment from God that should never break. The bible may advise us not to have sex untill married, but fornication is not declared nor viewed as a sin and needs not to be confessed."

That's my story and I enjoyed fornicating ever since untill now. After all, I'm not a happily married man.

So you like old TV shows? Would you care to tell my what old TV show you are refering to? I have not a clue as to what you are refering to.  




FangsNfeet -> RE: Christianity and BDSM (12/20/2007 8:30:34 PM)

oops, had a bad typo. I meant to say "I'm now a happily married man."

I'm glad my sub is taking a break from the forums. 




CuriousLord -> RE: Christianity and BDSM (12/20/2007 9:03:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
there are some who seemingly can not help being offended at the mention of faith.


It's an institution that tricks children to ends that can harm them.  It happened to me.  It's really hard not to find something that, in effect, abuses children through deception and manipulation offensive.

It's one thing when you find out Santa isn't real.  That's no biggie.  It's another when you find out that the thing you based your life off of is a lie.

Yeah.  I really think religion is abusive.  I'm not sure if I would ever want to be so calleous as to not be offended.




DollMaster72 -> RE: Christianity and BDSM (12/24/2007 9:45:47 AM)

No doubt religion is abusive.  I am sorry you have had such a terrible experience.  I am recovering as well.  There is one concept I could not get past.  That we cannot concieve something truely beyond ourselves. A man who has been blind all his life cannot concieve red, green, or blue.  Yet man as a species has concieved something greater than himself.  And all the science we have still doesn't answer the question, in the first place where did the energy or matter come from that everything else started from?  I don't believe that churches have a right to tell us what to do or that religion at all absolves us of any responsibility to the choices and consequences in our life.  For me an understanding of the concept of God brings meaning to an otherwise absolutely meaningless existance. 
I appreciate the tact and tolerance with which you replied, and wish you well on your journey.




SeeksOnlyOne -> RE: Christianity and BDSM (12/24/2007 9:57:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

oops, had a bad typo. I meant to say "I'm now a happily married man."

I'm glad my sub is taking a break from the forums. 


ha! i see someone getting diamonds soon





Griswold -> RE: Christianity and BDSM (12/24/2007 10:23:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

According to what's probably your religion (as I'm sure there must be some form of Christianity that deviates from this by now), it's probably immoral for you to have sex before marriage, you'll burn in hell, yada yada.

There's really not much of a way around it.



(I wanna find the religion that makes everyone else burn in hell for all my fornicating).




SL4V3M4YB3 -> RE: Christianity and BDSM (12/24/2007 10:42:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

Sex before marriage is known as Fornication.



Sex after marriage is known as fiction.




Aswad -> RE: Christianity and BDSM (12/24/2007 10:43:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

It happened to me. [...] It's another when you find out that the thing you based your life off of is a lie.


Your opinions suddenly make a whole lot more sense now (or, rather, they fit the data better).
I'd say priests are a whole lot more likely to fuck someone up than religion, per se.
As always, it depends on the interpretation you bring to the table.
Priests don't usually like to think, but prefer to be slaves.
In turn, they try to inflict this on others.
A spiral of spiritual violence.

Best wishes in your recovery, in any case.

Health,
al-Aswad.




Aswad -> RE: Christianity and BDSM (12/24/2007 11:19:46 AM)

To the OP,

This is the time for you to learn about your own faith, make some decisions, and grow as a person.

I would consider myself something along the lines of a Christian. But, the way I see it, the mainstream churches are way off base, as elegantly demonstrated by the ideas people in this thread have put forth regarding what that religion is about. If God is able to create two or more humans, as most versions of the faith claim, then he could have created far better slaves than us, so I posit that he did not intend for us to be slaves.

Proceeding from that, I posit that we are individually accountable to ourselves.

Owning up to that requires examining the origins of the faith, and how it came to be the mess that it is today. We soon find, upon looking back, that the root of much of this is the Pauline legacy. A pharisee (the Jewish equivalent of the Puritans) beurocrat who, by his own admission, never met Jesus, and in fact was charged with stamping out Jesus' heretical teachings, but who nonetheless is viewed as authoritative on Christ's teachings.

I would say he did a very fine job of stamping out those teachings.

Starting with the New Testament, since that's what most Christian denominations can-to some extent- agree on the contents and importance of, you have your work cut out for you. Start off by reading your Bible from one end to the other, gathering up only those things that Jesus is related as saying, and organize them chronologically, comparing the different recountings of what was said to arrive at as accurate a picture as possible.

With what he said in front of you, can you really say it even resembles what the priests say?

Proceeding on to the Apocrypha, you will see sides of the tale that are not usually told or given much weight in the mainstream religions. Even discounting the most popular divergences, like the role of Mary as wife to Jesus and his most enlightened disciple, you will probably find that what was taught has more than a touch of Buddhism in it. In fact, even if taken entirely as a parable, with no reality to it, the lessons are many and useful.

What of the integrity of the text itself, then?

Disregarding even the serious difficulties with translation, and the multiple redactions we can conclusively show to have taken place in the Bible, we are faced with the fact that even the usually quite conservative Catholic church admits that the notion of a unified Bible is a fiction; it took 12 centuries for them to agree what to put in the Bible, and it's going to take at least that long for them to agree on the interpretation of what is in it. And the doctrine that the message remains intact due to the influence of the Holy Spirit is nothing more than bullshit intended to cement the power of the priests over the masses. They know full well what hand it is that feeds them, after all.

So, how about a critical examination?

The documentary hypothesis is somewhat disputed, in that its specifics are not fully agreed upon. But one thing that is clear, is that both parts of the Bible have come from different sources, and been compiled by an editor (in the case of the Old Testament, it appears likely that this editor was Ezra) at some point in time. One of the sources that contains the most prohibitions and laws is the Priestly source, which is to say the stuff that the Levite priests themselves wrote and stuck in there, passing it off as part of the religion. This is not particularly controversial at all, and if we want to grow up in our own eyes, and the eyes of God, we must think critically for ourselves about this, and not so readily give power over ourselves to priests with other agendas than our own.

But what about the laws regarding marriage, homosexuality, and so forth?

Well, here is where you need to think. The Jewish people were scattered, subjugated and without a clear identity of their own when Moses sought to bring them out of the land of Egypt. Rather than allowing them to simply become yet another group of people in the culture of Canaan, a solution is put forth: an identity is constructed by contrasting it to the people who would otherwise have subsumed the Jewish people as part of their own. This is what Nietzsche called a slave morality, i.e. one wherein one starts with an idea of Other, and defines Self as the complement of this. And how apt to use such an approach with a people who were effectively just that: slaves. But, as I have already said, I do not think God wanted us to be his slaves. Hence, it seems reasonable for us to assume that he intended to try to help the Jewish people to grow, with as little of his interference as possible.

He failed, as shown in the tale of Job, the beaten dog that kept coming back for more.

Thus, he needs a vessel that understands humanity, by virtue of being, at least in part, human.

Jesus was that vessel, and taught us various things, trying to steer us in a direction that would lead to growth. In fact, most of the Jewish denominations now follow much of what was said to a greater extent than do the Christians, in looking at what is said in the Bible as a pointer, rather than an immutable and rigid Law. The noble man does not need the rule of Law to lead a good life, and if we are- as the texts say- infused with a spark of the divine, then surely we are, or should be, noble creatures, who should seek to live our lives on our feet, with pride (but not hubris) and striving to be all that we can be. This requires thinking for oneself, and being accountable to ourselves.

God does not, I think, care one whit for whether you fuck someone you haven't married.

If you listen to your instincts, live true to yourself, stay honest with yourself and the men and women in your life, and relate rationally to the world around you as you see it, and not as you would wish it to be, then I cannot think but that this is a giant leap for your soul. Believe as you will of what may lie beyond the veil, but in the end, we live in this world, and we must live such that our physical, mental and spiritual health does not become compromised by dogma that has been outdated for centuries.

Yes, the Canaanites allowed LGBT, poly, zoo, sodomy and a bunch of other stuff.
Yes, the Jews needed to distance themselves from that in order to retain their identity.
No, you do not need to follow their example, as long as you are willing to be a free man.
Cliff notes: you need to find out who you are and what you believe in before you decide how to act.

I've got lots more to say on the topic, but I hope this will suffice for now.

Health,
al-Aswad.




Level -> RE: Christianity and BDSM (12/24/2007 12:10:28 PM)

Fascinating post, Aswad.

quote:

Start off by reading your Bible from one end to the other, gathering up only those things that Jesus is related as saying, and organize them chronologically, comparing the different recountings of what was said to arrive at as accurate a picture as possible.


Thomas Jefferson did something like that, I believe:

http://www.angelfire.com/co/JeffersonBible




kitttty -> RE: Christianity and BDSM (12/24/2007 12:25:48 PM)

Get Married. The Bible wants you to get married.





Aswad -> RE: Christianity and BDSM (12/24/2007 1:12:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Fascinating post, Aswad.


Thank you.

quote:

Thomas Jefferson did something like that, I believe[...snip...]


It's a place to start, to be sure, though each person should do it for themselves.
I've not been able to read the Bible the same since my "revelation."

Health,
al-Aswad.




Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875