RE: What's with all the pushy doms???!!

RE: What's with all the pushy doms???!! (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

SingleRarity -> RE: What's with all the pushy doms???!! (12/22/2007 9:10:04 AM)
Bounty Hunter, You were not one of the one's who wrote so rudely to this girl, and from what I've read of your posts, they are intelligent, thoughtful, and very rarely rude, so I am sorry if you thought I was lumping you into this group. I apologize. However, if you read back over this post, the OP was treated so disrespectfully by the people who act as leaders on this board. It simply blew my mind. It happens all the time, but this was just too much this time. Again, I apologize to you.

RCdc -> RE: What's with all the pushy doms???!! (12/22/2007 9:10:12 AM)
Ohell, rude is subjective. I found the OP to be rude. Again subjective. I'm hearing the whole 'give the newbies a break' mantra again - You learn from doing and listening and understanding and she insulted people, and then was told she had made a unfounded judgement pulled the newbie card. I would have admired her if she'd held her hands up and gone - whoops - not sure of terms, didn't realise - thanks for informing me - instead of going. Wahwahwah. Tough love baby, tough love. And on the whole 'im not judgemental' crassness - you just made a judgement about every single poster here, even the OP. Love judgement - it's healthy - it's how we survive. quote: ORIGINAL: SingleRarity so I am sorry if you thought I was lumping you into this group. I apologize. However, if you read back over this post, the OP was treated so disrespectfully by the people who act as leaders on this board. No apology from me, how dare you assume I consider myself a leader? So - it is ok for you to go labeling what people may or may not be? How about telling slaves they can expect to be told exactly what to do? Your lumping people? How rude do you think that comes across - or is it ok to be rude to some, not to others and it's all ok as long as your in charge and deciding who does what. Opinions were offered. You have no idea what happened 'behind the scenes'. You have no concept of what I think or feel I am - so your 'non judgemental' assumptions with your passive aggressive manipulations are just that - assumptions. the.dark.

sexyred1 -> RE: What's with all the pushy doms???!! (12/22/2007 9:14:52 AM)
Hi .dark. Isn't it funny how rudeness is so purely subjective? Some people feel humor and sarcasm are the lowest form of communication and I find them to be rather high up on the ladder. It is interesting to see people who take comments, when some innocently hijack threads for humor, once again and not to bash newbies, and they never seem to re-read or interpret what the intial OP had said. Again, it is like roses with thorns, some people see only the rose, while others concentrate only on the fact that they might get pricked by thorns. P.S. who do you think she meant by "leaders on this board"? Do you have to reach a certain posting limit to be considered a leader?

BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: What's with all the pushy doms???!! (12/22/2007 9:15:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SingleRarity Bounty Hunter, You were not one of the one's who wrote so rudely to this girl, and from what I've read of your posts, they are intelligent, thoughtful, and very rarely rude, so I am sorry if you thought I was lumping you into this group. I apologize. However, if you read back over this post, the OP was treated so disrespectfully by the people who act as leaders on this board. It simply blew my mind. It happens all the time, but this was just too much this time. Again, I apologize to you. No need for apoligies..I just wanted to emphasis that others have their views and you shouldn't get so upset after all its not reality.....

Sexynmentalinkc -> RE: What's with all the pushy doms???!! (12/22/2007 9:19:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SingleRarity ...the OP was treated so disrespectfully by the people who act as leaders on this board. Posting a lot hardly makes one a "leader". Gaining the respect of others due to rational, helpful and thought-provoking posts does, in my experience (of online communities). - Mr. S P.S. I do agree that there can be negativity from long-time forum users of most any community. Not sure why that happens but I see it a lot here and there.

LoveAndDS -> RE: What's with all the pushy doms???!! (12/22/2007 9:25:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: womyn Obviously the people who look at my profile do NOT read through it. I get so many obnoxious people calling themselves dom (mes) that seem to think I'm a slave and can order me around! I am a SUBMISSIVE NOT a slave....yet! Why, WHY are people so disrespectful?! Alot of people on here are just looking for a quick thrill and don't realize that some people on the other end are acutally genuine.

RCdc -> RE: What's with all the pushy doms???!! (12/22/2007 9:30:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sexynmentalinkc - Mr. S P.S. I do agree that there can be negativity from long-time forum users of most any community. Not sure why that happens but I see it a lot here and there. Mr S I don't believe it is negativity - I believe it is more that people do not 'get' the way certain posters post and make assumptions people are being evil-automatically. I participate in another forum but only vary rarely as it is more Darcys domain - but I read and watch the way people interact with each other there and from a casual or even 'outside' observer - it can seem very negative. But then you learn more of the people, or the relationships people have on the forums and you start to 'get' the personalities and how far they do push each other. You start getting the jokes and the little play on words. The only negativity comes when a new poster really believes it's the first time a particular subject is posted and that they 'own' the problem - then you do get a little ridicule because it's been seen before - or when they do not get the reaction they craved as though it is a right - or when someone complains that people are being judgemental. Some fail to understand that judgements have to occur for people to survive, move forward - even back and that it isn;t a negative quality to have. the.dark.

RCdc -> RE: What's with all the pushy doms???!! (12/22/2007 9:33:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LoveAndDS Alot of people on here are just looking for a quick thrill and don't realize that some people on the other end are acutally genuine. Hello LoveandDs - welcome to the forum! I wanted to just offer the thought that for some people, a quick thrill seeker isn't any less 'genuine' than someone looking for a LTR - just different. Peace the.dark.

sexyred1 -> RE: What's with all the pushy doms???!! (12/22/2007 9:36:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark quote: ORIGINAL: Sexynmentalinkc - Mr. S P.S. I do agree that there can be negativity from long-time forum users of most any community. Not sure why that happens but I see it a lot here and there. Mr S I don't believe it is negativity - I believe it is more that people do not 'get' the way certain posters post and make assumptions people are being evil-automatically. I participate in another forum but only vary rarely as it is more Darcys domain - but I read and watch the way people interact with each other there and from a casual or even 'outside' observer - it can seem very negative. But then you learn more of the people, or the relationships people have on the forums and you start to 'get' the personalities and how far they do push each other. You start getting the jokes and the little play on words. The only negativity comes when a new poster really believes it's the first time a particular subject is posted and that they 'own' the problem - then you do get a little ridicule because it's been seen before - or when they do not get the reaction they craved as though it is a right - or when someone complains that people are being judgemental. Some fail to understand that judgements have to occur for people to survive, move forward - even back and that it isn;t a negative quality to have. the.dark. .dark, for gosh sakes, you are being way too brilliant in your explanations. I am electing you the GoToPerson for all collarme questions. I swear, you have such a way with words, I always wish I said what you just said. It is sad, however, that there are those who actually needs someone like you to interpret for them, the phenomena you just explained. People simply do not want to take the time out to discern what I like to call, "the lay of the land". They bust in like the proverbial bull in a china shop with their posts or replies and make judgements on posters who HAVE taken the time to assess the various levels of reactions. Not that one has to know everything behind the scenes or all the relationships around here, but it does help in understanding that the mean old poster you think is so horrible, is actually a very nice, funny person who offers up honest, straight up opinions that may differ from your own.

Sexynmentalinkc -> RE: What's with all the pushy doms???!! (12/22/2007 9:46:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sexynmentalinkc - Mr. S P.S. I do agree that there can be negativity from long-time forum users of most any community. Not sure why that happens but I see it a lot here and there. quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark Mr S I don't believe it is negativity - I believe it is more that people do not 'get' the way certain posters post and make assumptions people are being evil-automatically. I am on-board with that you mean. I'm definitely no stranger to online communities of various subjects...in fact, quite the opposite. I know that what can be perceived as negativity is, in fact, just someone's posting style and that they are generally good people that honestly want to offer help and advice. It's how their attitudes are perceived that is at issue - not who they "are". If someone doesn't 'get' you, you can't do much about that. But that being said...I've seen a lot of situations where long-time vets of a board can lapse into a flavor of negativity that they themselves don't even recognize anymore. They lose a certain objectivity due to the amount of time they've been part of that community. Not sure that makes sense, but....LOL quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark ...when they do not get the reaction they craved as though it is a right - or when someone complains that people are being judgemental. the.dark. I've seen this too. "Why are you beating up on me for asking an honest question?!?" In that situation, honestly (IME), both sides carry a certain amount of blame. The original posters generally don't take time to read the forums that are there before they post the 8,420th post about topic X or Y. That is THEIR fault. The fault at the 'leaders' is very often laying ridicule on a poster that's new and may not truly deserve it. We were all new at one time and I've seen some people on this board and other boards lay incredibly crass and negative replies on someone that was just there asking for honest, open communication and needed some quality feedback from people they thought might do so. And they got 'crushed' for it. Hard not to understand, in that situation, how a new poster could be put instantly on the defensive and feel like the community they'd like to belong to isn't exactly welcoming or respectful. In my opinion (while I understand why it happens), it's still not cool - and it's easy to understand why some would hop in to flame the flamers. Anyhoo....race ipsa locquitor. shrug - Mr. S

SeeksOnlyOne -> RE: What's with all the pushy doms???!! (12/22/2007 9:48:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 quote: ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19 quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 quote: ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19 Oh and be nice to the regulars or they'll rip ya a new one![:D] No, you don't have to be nice; just not a humorless, smug, twat. Not talking about you, I'm just saying. Baisically what Red is saying is you cant be thinned skinned. Honey, I knew you werent talking about me. I'm one of the funniest people I know! Uh oh, that sounded smug...didnt it? Yes, I meant you have to go with the flow, be yourself, don't let pixels on a screen upset you, jump in if you feel like it, joke around (we all make bad jokes, but sometimes amazing jokes) and add value where you can. It is the ones who whine about everything and start post after post about nonsense or ask the same question in 10 different ways that irritate me. Confidence is cool, arrogance and smugness is not. See, you said you were funny? Confident attitude, rock on! the thing is one persons confidence is anothers smugness and arrogance....thinking that how you interpret something is how it was intended, especially in the written forum, is arrogance, imho edited to add -yeah what that dude above me here said....

sexyred1 -> RE: What's with all the pushy doms???!! (12/22/2007 10:04:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sexynmentalinkc quote: ORIGINAL: Sexynmentalinkc - Mr. S P.S. I do agree that there can be negativity from long-time forum users of most any community. Not sure why that happens but I see it a lot here and there. quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark Mr S I don't believe it is negativity - I believe it is more that people do not 'get' the way certain posters post and make assumptions people are being evil-automatically. I am on-board with that you mean. I'm definitely no stranger to online communities of various subjects...in fact, quite the opposite. I know that what can be perceived as negativity is, in fact, just someone's posting style and that they are generally good people that honestly want to offer help and advice. It's how their attitudes are perceived that is at issue - not who they "are". If someone doesn't 'get' you, you can't do much about that. But that being said...I've seen a lot of situations where long-time vets of a board can lapse into a flavor of negativity that they themselves don't even recognize anymore. They lose a certain objectivity due to the amount of time they've been part of that community. Not sure that makes sense, but....LOL quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark ...when they do not get the reaction they craved as though it is a right - or when someone complains that people are being judgemental. the.dark. I've seen this too. "Why are you beating up on me for asking an honest question?!?" In that situation, honestly (IME), both sides carry a certain amount of blame. The original posters generally don't take time to read the forums that are there before they post the 8,420th post about topic X or Y. That is THEIR fault. The fault at the 'leaders' is very often laying ridicule on a poster that's new and may not truly deserve it. We were all new at one time and I've seen some people on this board and other boards lay incredibly crass and negative replies on someone that was just there asking for honest, open communication and needed some quality feedback from people they thought might do so. And they got 'crushed' for it. Hard not to understand, in that situation, how a new poster could be put instantly on the defensive and feel like the community they'd like to belong to isn't exactly welcoming or respectful. In my opinion (while I understand why it happens), it's still not cool - and it's easy to understand why some would hop in to flame the flamers. Anyhoo....race ipsa locquitor. shrug - Mr. S I just love the smell of sweeping generalizations in the morning. Funny, I look at each and every post and thread as a new opportunity to learn, be entertained, be annoyed, etc. I don't lose "objectivity" but I have a right to view anything as subjective. I fail to see how length of time spent on a board coincides with a person's posting style. And while we are at, why should anyone really have to be objective? All human beings are subjective in their thoughts therefore your posting and mine will all be subjectively replied to based on our own life experiences. Once again, "negativity" is subjective. What you might find negative, I might find hilarious. One is not more right than the other.

RCdc -> RE: What's with all the pushy doms???!! (12/22/2007 10:14:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sexynmentalinkc Not sure that makes sense, but....LOL Made sense to me - (but then I am weird like that[;)]) quote: The fault at the 'leaders' is very often laying ridicule on a poster that's new and may not truly deserve it. We were all new at one time and I've seen some people on this board and other boards lay incredibly crass and negative replies on someone that was just there asking for honest, open communication and needed some quality feedback from people they thought might do so. And they got 'crushed' for it. Hard not to understand, in that situation, how a new poster could be put instantly on the defensive and feel like the community they'd like to belong to isn't exactly welcoming or respectful. In my opinion (while I understand why it happens), it's still not cool - and it's easy to understand why some would hop in to flame the flamers. Anyhoo....race ipsa locquitor. shrug - Mr. S Yes, it does. I do worry about the 'concept' of leaders though. To me, it gives the vibe that there is only a certain way to go (as it were) - and BDSM, well, relationships in general - cannot flourish if it/they follow the way of 'leaders'. The 'leaders' are those in a certain unit - not across the board(especially a message board were you may never even meet people). It reeks of superiority - and maybe that's just my own personal 'issue' - I just don't see anyone better than anyone else (well - except Darcy[;)]) and to assume people into positions of authority over 'everyone' is both rude and ill thought out. It comes down to personal perceptions of what is said - rather than trying to understand where someone is 'coming from' most of the time - I think personal responsibility for our own feelings is often forgotten when it comes to the hard done by reactions. I don't think there is blame on either side. Sometimes (if we are into motos at the moment) - it's good to remember facta non verba the.dark.

Sexynmentalinkc -> RE: What's with all the pushy doms???!! (12/22/2007 10:43:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 quote: ORIGINAL: Sexynmentalinkc But that being said...I've seen a lot of situations where long-time vets of a board can lapse into a flavor of negativity that they themselves don't even recognize anymore. They lose a certain objectivity due to the amount of time they've been part of that community. I just love the smell of sweeping generalizations in the morning. The above underlined were my personal observations. If you took them as a sweeping generalization - that's on you. I don't think that this happens generally but I've definitely seen it happen. shrug quote: I fail to see... My point entirely. Posters can become 'myopic' to how their posting style may change and/or be perceived. - Mr. S

RCdc -> RE: What's with all the pushy doms???!! (12/22/2007 10:48:58 AM)
Oh Red - I have to say - in my time here - I haven't seen the 'offical' leader title.[;)] the.dark.

sexyred1 -> RE: What's with all the pushy doms???!! (12/22/2007 10:49:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sexynmentalinkc quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 quote: ORIGINAL: Sexynmentalinkc But that being said...I've seen a lot of situations where long-time vets of a board can lapse into a flavor of negativity that they themselves don't even recognize anymore. They lose a certain objectivity due to the amount of time they've been part of that community. I just love the smell of sweeping generalizations in the morning. The above underlined were my personal observations. If you took them as a sweeping generalization - that's on you. I don't think that this happens generally but I've definitely seen it happen. shrug quote: I fail to see... My point entirely. Posters can become 'myopic' to how their posting style may change and/or be perceived. - Mr. S ' LMAO. Right....now I am myopic because I used a figure of speech (you know, like I hear you, when someone wrote something??) and I did not agree with your point, right...NOW I see the light. Thank you. Perhaps you should stop posting now at 97 posts, I would not want you getting "myopic" like the rest of us jaded posters.

sexyred1 -> RE: What's with all the pushy doms???!! (12/22/2007 10:51:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark Oh Red - I have to say - in my time here - I haven't seen the 'offical' leader title.[;)] the.dark. Maybe the poster above you is itching for the title. But he has to cross over into the "thousand post club" first. But, he might become myopic if he does, so a decision will have to be reached first as to what is the priority, gaining lots of posts or losing your focus and objectivity by posting too much. Hmmmm....I see a dilemma in his future....[sm=idea.gif]

laurell3 -> RE: What's with all the pushy doms???!! (12/22/2007 5:05:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark Oh Red - I have to say - in my time here - I haven't seen the 'offical' leader title.[;)] the.dark. Oh I don't know the term "Designated Annihilator" pretty much = official leader. [;)]

Sexynmentalinkc -> RE: What's with all the pushy doms???!! (12/22/2007 5:12:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 LMAO. Right....now I am myopic because I used a figure of speech (you know, like I hear you, when someone wrote something??) and I did not agree with your point, right...NOW I see the light. Thank you. Perhaps you should stop posting now at 97 posts, I would not want you getting "myopic" like the rest of us jaded posters. Jesus Christ, attitude-maven....did I say YOU were myopic? No. Way to take my observations and make them about YOU - which they weren't. Get defensive (needlessly) much, lady? Perhaps you should stop at your 1197 and figure out why you needed to basically lay some lame-ass attitude on me for making comments that weren't about YOU but were general comments made about the forums (these and others). In a way, you more or less made my point for me. Of course, I'd fully expect you'll now come back and try to lay yet more attitude on me for responding to your cute lil' flamish response. I guess that makes you a "leader", 'eh? rolling his eyes I hope you and your effed up attitude stay warm this weekend. - Mr. S

ModeratorEleven -> RE: What's with all the pushy doms???!! (12/22/2007 5:39:49 PM)
Come on folks, enough already. XI

Page: << < prev 7 8 [9] 10 11 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

6.445313E-02