RE: Slaves, Submissives & Dirty Girls

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RE: Slaves, Submissives & Dirty Girls - 12/19/2007 2:35:33 PM

Jeffff

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every time it rains it rains.pussy;s from heavannnnnnn

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RE: Slaves, Submissives & Dirty Girls - 12/19/2007 2:35:35 PM

chellekitty

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ummm does that make it hard to sing? i will wear a short skirt and cute panties....

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RE: Slaves, Submissives & Dirty Girls - 12/19/2007 2:44:31 PM

caitlyn

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Don't forget fiddlefuck ...

In the interest of making this a serious discussion ... which actually was my intent ... I'm very interested in hearing how many other people have had this experience, or lack of experience, as the case may be.

Example ... meet a clear dominant at a club, and talk to him. It's clear what he is and what he wants. He makes it clear. No blame going his way. Now, along comes Cait, who says the right things ... to be his, to be owned, to be controlled ... blah, blah, blah ... but of course, the first time he doesn't like how I'm dressed and wants me to change, or doesn't like my new hair cut ... I tell him to get fucked if he can't accept me the way I am.

Hell, I've been playing this stupid game for about two years now. Submissive ... you must be kidding.

Was I pissed at him ... you bet! The first thing that came into my head (insert sarcastic voice), was "Well Mr. Smarty-Pants, since I'm not your 'submissive' anymore, maybe I will get the paddle and strapon, and show you a thing or two!!" Was I pissed? I was drive back home about twenty minutes later, pissed. Then we talked, with me an hour away, and we discovered how well my car comes back to him ... just like me. He's Mr. Right, and I know it.

So, the point (finally) ... there has got to be some people on here that have been playing this game, longer than me. I would be curious to hear about similar experiences.

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RE: Slaves, Submissives & Dirty Girls - 12/19/2007 2:57:57 PM

lanie38

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Hmmmm...and I always thought of myself (and so does he btw) as a "submissive dirty girl"..must of missed a memo

~lanie

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RE: Slaves, Submissives & Dirty Girls - 12/19/2007 3:06:24 PM

Adalgisa

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Well, I remember that I was once in a D/s relationship. Never again. I found out the hard way that D/s relationships aren't for me, I like many kinky activities but being in an authority transfer relationship was not for me. Granted, the guy had no fault. He wanted to control and make decisions for his partner, I thought I wanted to be controlled but it turned out I didn't. Which is my I basically consider myself to be in a vanilla relationship (no authority transfer) but we enjoy tons of kinky sex.

Does that make me a dirty girl?

< Message edited by Adalgisa -- 12/19/2007 3:16:26 PM >

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RE: Slaves, Submissives & Dirty Girls - 12/19/2007 3:17:09 PM

SimplyMichael

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caitlyn,

People love labels and you have clearly gotten to a place where you can ignore them but you are still thinking in those black and white terms.

Just because you don't submit to him doesn't mean you aren't submissive, it just means that you aren't submissive to him at this point in your life.

I like strong independent woman, I mean BSB is a Domme after all, as was my last partner. I don't walk around trying to top other Dommes but sometimes I trigger someone's submissive side. Trust me however, it isn't like a light switch, it is a gradual slope. BSB started out as your "dirty girl" and I am sure she would love the title. She was in it for the hot dirty sex, while I did it for her, she didn't feel submissive in the sense we use the term. Slowly we fanned the flames, it didn't happen overnight. Oddly enough the trigger for her to really let go was when I bottom to her and did something she really wanted. Not really important other than to say she didn't expect it, I wasn't sure where it would go but it CAN happen. The major steps are these:

You have to learn what parts of you that you desire to surrender
You have to learn how to surrender those parts
You have to learn who evokes the desire to surrender those parts

As a dominant, you have to follow a similar path. I know that a few years ago I wasn't the man who would have inspired BSB to submit to me, nor did I have the skills to control her once she did. While she is a very good girl, that isn't the same as saying she is "done" and I don't have to work at it. Sometimes I have to tighten the leash to remind her of her place and sometimes I have to let go for the very same reason.

I haven't done it through punishment, or any of the ways people talk about. I did it by being the man she has always wanted, wise, insightful, happy, even patient but most importantly, I make her feel safe and loved in a way she has always wanted but never had. I don't know what you need and who you need it from but know those things are an important part in being happy, regardless of where you end up.

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RE: Slaves, Submissives & Dirty Girls - 12/19/2007 3:19:06 PM

laurell3

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quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn

Don't forget fiddlefuck ...

In the interest of making this a serious discussion ... which actually was my intent ... I'm very interested in hearing how many other people have had this experience, or lack of experience, as the case may be.

Example ... meet a clear dominant at a club, and talk to him. It's clear what he is and what he wants. He makes it clear. No blame going his way. Now, along comes Cait, who says the right things ... to be his, to be owned, to be controlled ... blah, blah, blah ... but of course, the first time he doesn't like how I'm dressed and wants me to change, or doesn't like my new hair cut ... I tell him to get fucked if he can't accept me the way I am.

Hell, I've been playing this stupid game for about two years now. Submissive ... you must be kidding.

Was I pissed at him ... you bet! The first thing that came into my head (insert sarcastic voice), was "Well Mr. Smarty-Pants, since I'm not your 'submissive' anymore, maybe I will get the paddle and strapon, and show you a thing or two!!" Was I pissed? I was drive back home about twenty minutes later, pissed. Then we talked, with me an hour away, and we discovered how well my car comes back to him ... just like me. He's Mr. Right, and I know it.

So, the point (finally) ... there has got to be some people on here that have been playing this game, longer than me. I would be curious to hear about similar experiences.

Being a submissive does not necessarily mean transferring authority about day to day decisions. I've never been in a dynamic where I allowed anyone to do that and my life is really not set up for it so it wouldn't work well for me. It may be it won't work for you either. Maybe instead of trying to dive into a full authority exchange you might consider what it is that you want instead of just attempting to please them. Then I would think starting out slow until you have some trust and actually know the person would be advisable given your reluctance. Maybe it never will work out for you, that alone doesn't mean you're not a submissive. Maybe it will work out and you're just not used to allowing another to decide for you and see it as criticism or maybe they are bad at stating things tactfully. I actually like the term "dirty girl" but I'm not sure pinning this label on you indicates your failure as much as it does his.

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RE: Slaves, Submissives & Dirty Girls - 12/19/2007 3:20:26 PM

gorgeous1

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Who gives a crap about a name? My husband is my Sir is my Master is my Dominant, is my Baby-doll, is my Ass Wrecker, Daddy, Sweet-heart...whatever he wants me to call him, or whatever I hurl out between swats from the riding crop, or whatever I feel like referring to him as when I am posting on this forum. It's all interchangeable and each time, and at any different time of the day, he is all of these things to me, or just one that he chooses to be.

I have been referred to by myself and by him as a slave, slut, hungry little whore, submissive, sweetie, Doll-face, gorgeous...and YES! A DIRTY GIRL!

I don't really care what category we fit into...just that we fit together.

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RE: Slaves, Submissives & Dirty Girls - 12/19/2007 3:25:21 PM

lronitulstahp

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uh-oh...this is a slippery slope, because of course, we'd have to address the Dirty Dom..(aka kinky guy that wants some NSA from former-slave-now- fully realized dirty girl). How many actual D/s devotees would be left, i wonder???hmmmm.............

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RE: Slaves, Submissives & Dirty Girls - 12/19/2007 3:27:54 PM

Stephann

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From: Portland, OR
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Hiya caitlyn,

I've got some dirty words. You won't like em. You'll probably agree, and they'll be useless, but they're appropriate anyway.

You're too young to be a submissive.

Did I say immature? Inexperienced? Naive? Green? Incapable? Nope, you're none of those. You're just young.

Young is, of course, a subjective term; you're goal oriented, still eating professors for breakfast (and trying not to admit to the reverse) and busy chasing down whatever path you're heading in. Last I knew, you didn't have to worry about paying rent and bills. None of this is a dig; you'll earn more in a year than I did the last five, when you're my age.

The point is, that dominance and submission are character traits that really don't have value when you're not spending the bulk of your time around people (lecture halls crammed with people the way we cram chickens and sheep don't count.) When you find yourself in love, real love, D/s might be traits you find comfort in (though, I suspect, not.) It doesn't matter how deep a pool is until you're neck deep and the water's rising; till then, you don't really know if you have what it takes swim, float, or drown. This D/s stuff is obviously intellectually interesting, but approaching it from a clinical perspective makes it very hard to simply enjoy the water.

At any rate, there's lots of kinky people who've never heard of a 'Dom MAY' or 'witwid.' You could, possibly, be a kinky person who's heard and read a lot more than your average bear about D/s, but not with any real context to place it in; I learned about how to fire a Light Antitank Weapon, but until I have a tank to shoot at, there's no context for that information. I'm sure if I ever have to blow up a tank, that knowledge will come in pretty handy. Or, you could just be a kinky slut who enjoys darker-than-average sex games; I will say that you do seem to relish power struggles, though.

But that's just my armchair psychobabble, so take it for what it's worth. For what it's worth though, *lots* of guys like dirty girls, even if that's all they are.

Stephan

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RE: Slaves, Submissives & Dirty Girls - 12/19/2007 3:28:34 PM

burningdesires47

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quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn

Don't forget fiddlefuck ...

In the interest of making this a serious discussion ... which actually was my intent ... I'm very interested in hearing how many other people have had this experience, or lack of experience, as the case may be.

I'm kind of in a decision boat about a similar problem at the moment... I know I'm not a slave. I DEFINITELY don't want a dynamic that's constantly on, altho knowing me it would end up being on to some degree or another all the time anyway. I'm more into the kinky sex side of things, though I find myself getting more and more interested in less-sexual aspects of the BDSM play... so it's almost like the opposite problem, of thinking for so long that I was just a dirty girl, and now finding I'm more interested in being a subbie than I thought. Which has to do with the fact that I tried once before and wasn't ready, so the mental transition from dirty girl to subbie wasn't so difficult as a little surprising, being blindsided by the realization that I wanted it more than I thought I did.

It just takes a lot of soul searching. Call yourself whatever you want, a dirty girl (which BTW I think is hot ;) or bottom, or a sub who isn't interested in a 24/7 dynamic... as long as you and your partner(s) are clear about expectations, then you should be fine.

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RE: Slaves, Submissives & Dirty Girls - 12/19/2007 3:28:58 PM

Jeffff

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

uh-oh...this is a slippery slope, because of course, we'd have to address the Dirty Dom..(aka kinky guy that wants some NSA from former-slave-now- fully realized dirty girl). How many actual D/s devotees would be left, i wonder???hmmmm.............

Actualy I would guess 50%..maybe more......maybe alot more

Jeff

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RE: Slaves, Submissives & Dirty Girls - 12/19/2007 3:38:07 PM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

LMFAO Ron

fiddlefucksticking

LOL

I love that

I should ask Ron or Jefff, is that a fiddefuckstick in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? (in my best Mae West voice)

Oh for the record, I would like to be known now and forever as the Most MetaDirtyKinkySlut on the entire site.

Thank you all.

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RE: Slaves, Submissives & Dirty Girls - 12/19/2007 3:41:22 PM

Jeffff

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Not with those caps....everyone know real metakinkymegasluts.....would use small case to show they are weal

Jeff

all goofiness aside, Micheal and many others are right.
Be who you want to be, when you want to be it

< Message edited by Jeffff -- 12/19/2007 3:43:56 PM >

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RE: Slaves, Submissives & Dirty Girls - 12/19/2007 3:42:16 PM

laforet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Now 'Dirty .Girl.' as a collarme option on the profile.
Thats gotta rock.

the.dark.

LOL it would. I can just see all the profiles changing from submissive to Dirty Girl...of course, if they did that..we would have to start new threads about what we all define dirty girl as.

Noooooooooooooooooo.....
Does that mean we would get the 'DirtygirlsarebetterthanProperty' thread?

the.dark.

Yup.... right after the "twue"dirtygirl thread....

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RE: Slaves, Submissives & Dirty Girls - 12/19/2007 3:43:27 PM

sexyred1

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you forgot dirty girl! ok, sorry, forgot about the whole C/cap S/slash T/thingy, not very meta of me...

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RE: Slaves, Submissives & Dirty Girls - 12/19/2007 3:45:38 PM

lronitulstahp

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quote:

Oh for the record, I would like to be known now and forever as the Most MetaDirtyKinkySlut on the entire site.

where do we pick up the ballots?

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RE: Slaves, Submissives & Dirty Girls - 12/19/2007 3:46:57 PM

Jeffff

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Near as I can tell.and I have only been here few months, dirtygirls can't be better than property..in descending order

property
owned
slave
submissive
bottom
dirty girl
wannabe
fake

My apologies if I missed anyone

Jeff

< Message edited by Jeffff -- 12/19/2007 3:48:20 PM >

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RE: Slaves, Submissives & Dirty Girls - 12/19/2007 3:48:12 PM

agoodgirl4Daddy

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personally, i'd be flushed with excitement and joy if i were called Daddy's Dirty Girl! not by just anyone, mind you...but by my Daddy............. *wherever He is......*

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RE: Slaves, Submissives & Dirty Girls - 12/19/2007 3:48:25 PM

laurell3

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duh Jeff, subblier than thou goes at the top of the list.....and switch is somewhere in the gutter.......

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