quote:

ORIGINAL: buddyboy22222

There is, I think, a curious reversal of roles on sites such as this one.  On one hand, the women supposedly seeking a Dominant partner are submissive in nature and seeking dominion.  On the other, they are here selective and gain power in excluding those they arbitrarilly choose to ignor.  While consent is a byword to the lifestyle, how do supposedly submissive women justify in their own minds the power to play "the ole' game" of sex as a form of currency?

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

Your arguement would imply that not only should all submissives be the same but that all Dominants should be the same and require exactly the same service.  It implys that no one is an individual with individual needs, desires, requirements, or preferences.

It would imply that all Dominants should accept any and all submissives who offer themselves.

quote:

ORIGINAL: buddyboy22222

There is, I think, a curious reversal of roles on sites such as this one.  On one hand, the women supposedly seeking a Dominant partner are submissive in nature and seeking dominion.  On the other, they are here selective and gain power in excluding those they arbitrarilly choose to ignor.  While consent is a byword to the lifestyle, how do supposedly submissive women justify in their own minds the power to play "the ole' game" of sex as a form of currency?

quote:

buddyboy22222

I am open to either a short or long term relationship, but I have no interest in a women who is indecisive or ambivalent. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: buddyboy22222

and gain power in excluding those they arbitrarilly choose to ignor

justify in their own minds the power to play "the ole' game" of sex as a form of currency?

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

Buddyboy,
 
your question is backwards, actually. Why on earth would a dominant pursue a submissive? There's too many of them out there, and not enough dominants to go around (when you discount the HNGs, the mad and the bad).
 
the notion of "the game" presupposes that men are indiscrimant, that they surrender their power of choice right out of the chute. Which is a pretty poor way to procede, IMO.
 
Lawrence

quote:

ORIGINAL: anowner

While I think buddyboy22222 overstates the case, don't you folks think the partner search dynamic in a forum or on a personals site might shift the initial power balance further toward the submissive side than search done out here in meatspace?

(Yes, I know there are many other ways in which the dynamic is different, and particularly that the wider choices available on the internet allow people of all sort to make pickier choices than they might otherwise. But what about this particular difference?)

quote:

ORIGINAL: anowner

While I think buddyboy22222 overstates the case, don't you folks think the partner search dynamic in a forum or on a personals site might shift the initial power balance further toward the submissive side than search done out here in meatspace?

(Yes, I know there are many other ways in which the dynamic is different, and particularly that the wider choices available on the internet allow people of all sort to make pickier choices than they might otherwise. But what about this particular difference?)

quote:

  when I first started this journey, while I never had any man turn me down, generally I found that what they were really after was the sex, not the D/s part of things. During those times, when I'd be fooled, I'd find that once they got that, they had no more use for me. So really, who used sex in that situation? I was hoping for D/s, and believe me, they spoke some very pretty words to get me to that point.

It wasn't until I started realizing that if sex was really the draw, then the clue to finding what I wanted was to NOT engage in that little process. I started being more discerning, more decisive and certainly more picky. It wasn't me withholding sex, it was me getting a clue as to what I wanted in a relationship, and for my money, if more women did that, there'd be a whole lot less problems in relationships that develop out there.

Yes, people come with grocery lists - both dominants and submissives have their own. It's when neither of them have one that makes me nervous. How they handle their respective lists is what makes or breaks a relationship

quote:

ORIGINAL: buddyboy22222

There is, I think, a curious reversal of roles on sites such as this one.  On one hand, the women supposedly seeking a Dominant partner are submissive in nature and seeking dominion.  On the other, they are here selective and gain power in excluding those they arbitrarilly choose to ignor.  While consent is a byword to the lifestyle, how do supposedly submissive women justify in their own minds the power to play "the ole' game" of sex as a form of currency?

quote:

ORIGINAL: buddyboy22222

There is, I think, a curious reversal of roles on sites such as this one.  On one hand, the women supposedly seeking a Dominant partner are submissive in nature and seeking dominion.  On the other, they are here selective and gain power in excluding those they arbitrarilly choose to ignor.  While consent is a byword to the lifestyle, how do supposedly submissive women justify in their own minds the power to play "the ole' game" of sex as a form of currency?