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RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/10/2008 5:10:28 PM   
brainiacsub


Posts: 1209
Joined: 11/11/2007
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: brainiacsub

It surprised me just how many people in the lifestyle view these social gatherings as compulsary as a 'church service' (as someone else on this thread already mentioned).
 

quote:


First, that if someone derives benefit from conversing with other lifestylers online who have nothing in common with you besides an interest in BDSM, then it's illogical to think that you wouldn't derive the same benefit (large or small) from conversing with them face to face.


 The thing is, online I don't really care if I have anything else in common with them. If their words strike me as profound or witty, I can imagine them to be whoever I want. I imagine you to be a media mogul for Time Warner. I imagine Domiguy to be the head of Neurology for John's Hopkins. It's all good from where I sit. Now, in real life if you sat in your garage apt all day obsessing over a well worn copy of The Collector, I would thank my lucky stars I didn't run in to you at a munch.

quote:

 
And third, folks attend specific munches precisely because they do form friendships beyond BDSM with the other folks that attend...
 
 
If I thought I would meet people like me at a munch, I would consider it, but it is highly unlikely.
 
quote:


If it's not for you, it's not for you.  Welcome to the boards.  We won't ridicule you for not attending munches.  Lord knows, we have plenty of other reasons/opportunities to make fun of one another, so don't take it personally.  And do feel welcome to give as good as you get.  :)
 
John


I look forward to the opportunity. Thanks for the invite.

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 121
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/11/2008 2:05:45 PM   
meticulousgirl


Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline 		Not to munch:  by personal preference and the fact that my Owner doesn't permit going to events...it's a mutual feeling though by far...not my thing.  I'm more of the quiet at home type!  But I love chatting here!

~meticulous~

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 122
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/11/2008 2:53:53 PM   
brainiacsub


Posts: 1209
Joined: 11/11/2007
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: brainiacsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

ps... Is there any possibility that brainiacsub might actually be me? If not, I wouldn't mind checking out the size of your boobs or the firmness of your ass.


I might actually be you? I doubt it. But, I have an athletes physique so my boobs aren't that impressive...trust me. No comment about my ass.


It's just that I have been known to create fictitious profiles to chime into a thread to back-up my position....That's why I created you...I was feeling so alone...Picked on....I was almost going to cave and attend a munch...Or go to a civil war reenactment or possibly join the SCA....But your post gave me the strength I needed to persevere...You were created at the last minute just in the nick of time as the tide was shifting against me...Thank me for you.

I like that I gave you an athletic physique....Tits are so overated, it's all about the legs and ass.  I made you intelligent as well.  No need to thank me...I promise  I will bring you out again... "when the team is up against it, when things are wrong and THE BREAKS ARE BEATING THE BOYS  tell them to go in there with all they got to win just one for ol' domiguy.”

God Bless You.  Thanks you for your support.

If I find the time I will create a profile for you...Any preference to the color of your hair and eyes? I prefer brunettes with brown eyes.

I might even have you insist that you are not a doormat...That's always a nice thing to see in one's profile.

No need to thank me....It's what I do.

Oh no, I do need to give proper thanks. After all, you also made me polite with impeccable manners. The intelligence was a very good idea as it will become necessary to continue defending your positions in the future. My wit and charm will most certainly come in handy as I slowly and methodically hijack every thread and continue to convince everyone just how right you are. After all, we both know that you are the only real and true ONE and the rest are just wannabes and fakers.

When you have the time, a profile would be most appreciated. I have already written one myself although it is hidden at the moment. But we all know how important it is for submissives to be incapable of independent thought so your ideas and expertise are always welcome. At the moment, I am a brunette with brn eyes, but do you think you could make me a blonde? I do hear they have more fun.

BTW, I always thought it preferable to have the Dom ask if I am a doormat. To deny it upfront only makes me seem guilty.

domiguy (...er..uh...brainiac)

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 123
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/13/2008 10:27:15 AM   
MistressMelissa


Posts: 226
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline 		Greetings,

Many of you have commented upon not attending Munches because you see no need to join a group simply because you share an interest in BDSM.  Last night as I sat with the members of my local Munch we talked about everything from this thread to collectible handguns. One of the couples I would never had met except for the Munch. We share a common career, an interest in handguns, discussed the hassle of getting permits to work on our houses and our favorite restaurants. Others in the room, including my best friend and travel companion, I would not have met except for the Munch.

While our interest in BDSM might have brought us together, it is not what binds us together. Interesting thing, my house has a dungeon. Every Munch it is announced the dungeon is open. We have held several post  Munch parties at my house and other than a tour, no one has ever used the dungeon. Twenty some people in my house and we are more interested in talking with each other than getting freaky.  I must be getting old!

It's a personal choice about going out or staying home. For me, I've met most of my friends via the local Munch and my life is richer for it. Having lifestyle friends means I don't have to hide who and what I am. I can invite people into my home and not have to be concerned about what they might learn about me. I don't have to explain why people in my house address me a Ma'am or why there is a matching set of whips hanging on the hall tree.  

A Munch is about making friends, not about getting laid. There is a group known as singles for charity. It's not a dating group but a group of singles that get together and assist in putting on charity events. As people work together in a non-dating environment they get to learn about others without the pressure of dating. It's a simple concept that applies to a Munch as well. If your Munch is nothing more than a meat market, perhaps you need to fix your Munch or start a new one. A Munch was meant to be a casual meeting where people could enjoy a meal and discover we are not alone in our desires, nor does it make us freaks.

_____________________________

Melissa
Mistress of Ds Haven
www.dshaven.com

The person who says it can not be done, should not interrupt the person doing it. - Ancient Wisdom

(in reply to brainiacsub)
Profile   Post #: 124
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/13/2008 2:01:28 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		I went to a munch last night. 

It was very, very crowded and my personal space needs were not met.

I go to a munch about once every 2 years, so the president came up to me and asked if I was new.  This happens without fail every time I go.  Nope, been a member for 5 years or so, got my membership card in my wallet. 

No one else talked to me.  I'm not saying it is their job or anything.  I just can't deal with large groups of people I don't know.  I'm much better off one on one, and then I'm still pretty shy, but faced with a group of 100+ people I don't know from Adam my impulse is to get the hell out of there.  Which I did. 

And that was my biannual munch.

Maybe I should do some visualization before I go next time or something, like visualizing myself going up to people and introducing myself.

I'm like this in any large group of people by the way - doesnt' have to be a kinky group at all.  So the whole kink thing doesn't have anything to do with it.

The funny thing is that I'm *sure* I'm perceived as being standoffish or unfriendly or whatever by some, but I'm not, just terrified.




_____________________________

http://www.rescuties.org

(in reply to MistressMelissa)
Profile   Post #: 125
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/13/2008 2:13:04 PM   
agoodgirl4Daddy


Posts: 336
Joined: 10/25/2007
Status: offline 		i have been to several munches with local BDSM groups.  i enjoy attending them for the most part. 

what i don't like:  due to my career and need for discretion, i don't like the fact that occasionally someone will forget where they are (or simply not care) and whip out a new flogger (or some other non-discreet happening).  

the munches where i live are not huge congregrations of kinksters.  they are mostly the same people from the same groups getting together for a meal.   occasionally, new folks will venture out - which is nice! 

what i like:  meeting and talking with like-minded people in a very relaxed environment. 


_____________________________

~We do not see things as they are - we see them as we are.~ Anais Nin

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 126
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/18/2008 12:22:38 AM   
MadameCris


Posts: 50
Joined: 7/22/2007
Status: offline 		Frankly, i find the internet safer than a local munch. im still too paranoid to go to a local munch for fear i will run into some of my customers from my day job with the city. I would die of embarassment, unless it was Chuck, a customer of mine, somehow, i think he would be receptive to the idea of my being a Dominatrix


(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 127
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/18/2008 11:45:09 PM   
paynestar


Posts: 30
Joined: 7/21/2006
Status: offline 		Munches  are social opportunities that allow anyone to walk in from off the street. There are a handful of decent people that may attend the munches. It is your job to find them and make yourself familiar by being persistant and respectful. It is tedious work.

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 128
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/20/2008 1:50:21 AM   
petpete


Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline
In responce to my ex Mistress with all due respect, anyone that would go to a munch is like going to a restaurant to have dinner with a company of friends or a group of friends. i dont think they would be labeled in any way nor they would be doing anything illegal i thought You where teaching me how to come out MC???

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!


(in reply to MadameCris)
Profile   Post #: 129
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/20/2008 1:57:02 AM   
lilabbotsfordgrl


Posts: 140
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline 		No, would never attend a munch.  Very opposed to the idea of a "kinky community".  Also, Daddy and I don't get along with other people very well.  We don't try hard to fit in, and therefore don't.  Additionally, we are quite boring.  That said, we're very happy together and have no need for input from others or to share our story other than to a select few online.

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 130
RE: To Munch, or Not to Munch? - 1/20/2008 6:13:59 AM   
MArris


Posts: 1
Joined: 4/27/2007
Status: offline 		Well our local Munches are mainly for a meet and greet of potential new members, and to gather together to socialize with each other. Since we normally meet at a local resturant, the wearing of obvious scene is forbidden. And we try to keep the atmosphere fairly easy going. Heck one munch we had our server in laughing so hard at times, she had to compose herself before leaving our semi-private dining room that we were eating in. And our last munch was no different, but we tend to have a lot of "clean" fun when possible.

In the time I've been involved with this group for over a year now, and everyone gets along with everyone else. And we have a good time whether "playing" or just sitting around and talking.

I can't comment on other groups, but for us a munch is a event to look forward to.

(in reply to lilabbotsfordgrl)
Profile   Post #: 131
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