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RE: feelings of worthlessness - 8/29/2005 11:39:28 PM

lonewolf05

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quote:

i agree with this assessment. i work with poor, low income medically needy children (and their families) whose sole financial assistance is the county, state or federal government funded resources and have seen more fucked over children and adults than i care to realize.

~~shy

================
welcome to MY world. $700 a month,..the V.A. nor medicare will discuss dental, or vision or hearing aids....

wolf

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RE: feelings of worthlessness - 8/30/2005 7:39:21 AM

slavedesires

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quote:

I was really lucky ... probably luckier than I deserve. I had two people that cared enough to take drastic action ... very drastic action from the last people I would have ever expected. They were willing to do whatever it took to just help me, without conditions, pressure or expectations. They just decided that enough was enough, and took the choices out of my hands.

I hated these two people for quite a while ... it had the effect of transferring my hate from myself, on to them. I don't even know how this helped me and I don't even care. It did, and it got me off that track I couldn't get off myself. These people saved me ... they saved my life.

I still have problems and still have my bad days, but I know I'm going to make it now, because there are two people that cared enough to take a huge risk to help me. My complete and endless devotion to them will not let me let them down. I'm not sure I care enough to make if for me, but I care enough to make it for them ... and no matter how anyone feels about that, it's enough worth to see me through.

Thank you for listening, and if you know someone in need ... help them before it's too late. Don't be the person that does nothing and ends up reading about them in that bad section of the newspaper.

Thank you caitlyn for sharing....indeed you are the blessed among many.
First of all for the courage to share your story .....
Second of all for hating those who cared that much.... i know this sounds silly, but wortlessness is self hate and to put that hate toward another gave you a perspective differnt enough to allow your self hate to diminish....
Third, if anyone flames you, i will stand up for you and then they will find my bitch
Forth, to have the strength to go despite the past, if even to do it for someone else becasue they took the time to care, is the beginning of yur self journey taht will allow you to do it for yourself ..... which i know, if i may say so, you are doing now.

{{{huggles}}} for your strength of honesty and self portrait.
~~shy

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RE: feelings of worthlessness - 8/30/2005 7:43:01 AM

slavedesires

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May i also give my opinion on Faramir's "name calling"....he seems to choose words that are not humiliating but have a sense of direct useage that allows a reader to understand where he is coming from and why the disdain (if that is the right word) of such a thought is so powerful to him. To me, this is the honesty we call ask for and require in our daily lives. Name calling when used to just bolster ones own sence of self is what i find distaseful. This is just how i see it.
Sometimes in wounded pride we lash out with name calling...
Sometimes in pompous pride we have a need to degrade and humilate to get a point across...to me, in my own opinion, this is not what Faramir is doing.
JMHO
~~shy

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RE: feelings of worthlessness - 8/30/2005 7:49:42 AM

lonewolf05

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RE: feelings of worthlessness - 8/28/2005 4:59:41 PM

ElektraUkM
Twisted

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Status: offline lonewolf05... self respect... SELF respect. That comes from in here... not out there.

=================

not out there? then lemme ask this. since "I" have been told all my life, out-there, that i am a no good sonofab*** and a worthless piece of s***.....just how are you supposed-to have it...in here?
this is what i have dealt with all my life. me vs the world.

wolf

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RE: feelings of worthlessness - 8/30/2005 7:50:15 AM

Lordandmaster

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Are you serious? Calling someone a "smug wretch" is a "direct useage that allows a reader to understand where he is coming from"? That's "the honesty we call ask for and require in our daily lives"?

I'm not going to go through and catalogue all the abusive comments that Faramir has made, but there are plenty. To me, they just show how frustrated he gets when people disagree with him. First-class sign of immaturity.

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RE: feelings of worthlessness - 8/30/2005 8:06:30 AM

lonewolf05

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quote:

they just show how frustrated he gets when people disagree with him. First-class sign of immaturity.

======================

i get as frustrated myself, because it is not an issue of being different as much as it is people telling me i am full of s*** and i am talking out my ass. i speak MY truth but i find 99% of the people cannot handle MY truth. i am too abrasive and too open.
i am not defending anyone nor am i attacking. but if it is immature to rebel against being personally attacked like "I" have been by 4 dommes on here..then i will stay that way...

define mature for me...tell me it is mature to attack someone behind their back?
"I" was taught that on a forum if you have an issue go to that person offline..not be a back stabber...

my elders taught me..do not lie to me--doi not steal from me--do not stab me in the back..if "I" have an issue i tell them to their face..........

wolf

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RE: feelings of worthlessness - 8/30/2005 8:20:51 AM

slavedesires

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quote:

To me, they just show how frustrated he gets when people disagree with him. First-class sign of immaturity.

Using the Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary, copyright 1975 by the Merriam Co
SARCASM is defined as to tear flesh, bit the lips in rage, sneer; a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain; a mode of satrical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic and often ironic language that is usually direct against an individual; anothe mode of humor taht requires a master hand.

When frustrated we can use sarcasm or cut to the quick and be direct.

IMHO, i would rather be spoken to directly than have sarcasm used, sarcasm is more humiliating, IMHO. I find no humor in it. Yes i have indulged on a few occasions and almost always feel huge remorse after i have done so.

Many people enjoy sarcasm for it is less direct and they can laugh at the expense of another.
Faramir uses directness.
I for one individual, favor directness.
I also favor honesty rather than deceptiveness.
Since this is a thread on worthlessness and self esteem..... sarcasm tears me down, directness allows me to see things as they are.
In caitlyns case, as in mine, directness perserved her sense of self, sarcam might have kept her on the track and she'd be in the obits.

once again JMHO, and who am i? jsut another voice with an opinion in the melting pot.
~~shy

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RE: feelings of worthlessness - 8/30/2005 9:19:54 AM

lonewolf05

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slavedesires
I for one individual, favor directness.
I also favor honesty rather than deceptiveness.
Since this is a thread on worthlessness and self esteem..... sarcasm tears me down, directness allows me to see things as they are.
=============

there it is!!!

i with ya on THIS!!
wolf

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RE: feelings of worthlessness - 8/30/2005 10:17:08 AM

pinkpleasures

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quote:

So spare me your glib: "Every county has mental health care" crap. You sound like another smug wretch:

Faramir

1st, i do not understand why a foster child would not have Medicaid coverage and be able to be seen privately.

2nd; as i have said, i found a high quality of care given at county mental health boards; and for people without mental health insurance, they are a valuable resource.

3rd; i cannot speak to what goes on in NC; but it is a shame if their system does not work as intended. While i commend You for being a foster parent, i wish You would refrain from insulting me and detering people from seeking care at the only venue available.

pinkpleasures

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RE: feelings of worthlessness - 8/30/2005 10:22:19 AM

pinkpleasures

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lonewolf05, i feel You are valuable. Your compassion and empathy just shine through. It's so much harder when the person abusing You is a parent, and not a stranger, but You have survived thus far and have the option to be welcomed into people's lives as the valuable, unique person You are. Please don't give up.

pinkpleasures

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RE: feelings of worthlessness - 8/30/2005 10:42:18 AM

pinkpleasures

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lonewolf05..vision may be possible through the local Lyon's Club. Dental may be possible through a dental school. However, i have no recommedations for a hearing aid; perhaps if You use dogpile You can find a patients' assistance program.

pinkpleasures

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RE: feelings of worthlessness - 8/30/2005 10:46:40 AM

pinkpleasures

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quote:

Thank you for listening, and if you know someone in need ... help them before it's too late. Don't be the person that does nothing and ends up reading about them in that bad section of the newspaper.

cailyn

i never left my clients on their own, caitlyn; i sent whole families (sans the abuser) to family therapy and individual therapy. i find this thread coming apart over whether mental health professionals actually help or harm; i just never saw anything but dedicated people working hard to mend some terrible injuries to the pysche. So i am in favor of professional mental health providers. But you are right; if someone suggests he/she is suicidial, i feel you must respond.

pinkpleasures

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 8/30/2005 10:47:52 AM >

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RE: feelings of worthlessness - 8/30/2005 10:52:36 AM

pinkpleasures

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quote:

Are you serious? Calling someone a "smug wretch" is a "direct useage that allows a reader to understand where he is coming from"? That's "the honesty we call ask for and require in our daily lives"?

I'm not going to go through and catalogue all the abusive comments that Faramir has made, but there are plenty. To me, they just show how frustrated he gets when people disagree with him. First-class sign of immaturity.

Lordandmaster

i know i for one am reaching my "past due" point with Faramir; i will begin reporting Him to the Mods for violation of the collarme TOS if He cannot contain Himself and speak civilly to me.

pinkpleasures

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RE: feelings of worthlessness - 8/30/2005 10:54:24 AM

KnightofMists

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There is a difference between speaking with Appropriate Directness as Compared to Contemptible Directness. I do agree with what Faramir expressed as an opinion on the topic, thou I think the manner it is expressed could be much more social appropriate. mmmmmmm and I thought I was an Asshole..... but I am not afraid to recognize my betters!

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RE: feelings of worthlessness - 8/30/2005 10:55:56 AM

pinkpleasures

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quote:

get as frustrated myself, because it is not an issue of being different as much as it is people telling me i am full of s*** and i am talking out my ass. i speak MY truth but i find 99% of the people cannot handle MY truth. i am too abrasive and too open.
i am not defending anyone nor am i attacking. but if it is immature to rebel against being personally attacked like "I" have been by 4 dommes on here..then i will stay that way...

define mature for me...tell me it is mature to attack someone behind their back?
"I" was taught that on a forum if you have an issue go to that person offline..not be a back stabber...

my elders taught me..do not lie to me--doi not steal from me--do not stab me in the back..if "I" have an issue i tell them to their face..........

lonewolf05

i've been through similar experiences, lonewolf05. i for one appreciate your truthfulness and candor, and believe you helped people by speaking so frankly.

i admire anyone with your background who is here, fighting the good fight.

pinkpleasures

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RE: feelings of worthlessness - 8/30/2005 11:12:53 AM

CitizenCane

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If you get flamed for this, I think it can only be by people insecure about their own mental health. I think you're entirely right- your mental health is something you can only be responsible for when you have it, in some substantial degree. Even then, outside forces can deprive you of it.
As for 'getting over it', I think a lot depends on how you define that. People can get over severe trauma in the sense of reaching a place where it no longer has serious impacts on their lives and they are able to do things and enjoy life without a constant dread of hidden triggers. This is not to say that things become 'as if it never happened', that's a false goal. But trauma doesn't have to be the most significant determinant of feelings, perceptions, reactions and expectations. It sounds like you're on a better path now- travelling down it may not be easy, but it's worth the work, and I wish you well.

Cane

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RE: feelings of worthlessness - 8/30/2005 11:39:47 AM

lonewolf05

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RE: feelings of worthlessness - 8/30/2005 1:12:53 PM
CitizenCane

quote:

reaching a place where it no longer has serious impacts on their lives and they are able to do things and enjoy life without a constant dread of hidden triggers.

=====

yes. wish it were that i would be able to do so. yes. reach a place where the triggers are not so close to the surface. yes i DO have constant dread. and as to feelings toward pros in the mental health area? they are only as good as the patient...SOMETIMES. being that, if the patient wont cooperate..they cant help. BUT!
there ARE those "I" found IN the V.A. that are absolute idiots and are pill happy.

i hope for ALL to find THEIR happy-place w/o triggers.
it has been since 1973 and i am still too close to...the triggers. the up side is...
Mistress helps a lot just by being the nurturing woman that She is. not as a domme. just as a nice warm human being that has a soft hand on my cheek and looks into my eyes,,,,,,and tells me that in time things will change.
now THAT is what "I" call good medicine.

take care y'all.

one happy boy........Mistress comes home tonight.
wolf

< Message edited by lonewolf05 -- 8/30/2005 11:40:55 AM >

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RE: feelings of worthlessness - 8/30/2005 1:03:49 PM

CitizenCane

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I wish you well, lonewolf. There are people that can help out there- a few of them are even professionals- but finding them is difficult. I'm glad your Mistress does well by you in that human way- that's as important as any professional intervention.

Cane

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RE: feelings of worthlessness - 8/30/2005 1:49:01 PM

ElektraUkM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CitizenCane

I like your attitude, Elektra, but I don't think it's an either-or proposition. I think some things are somebody's fault, but we still have to deal with what we're dealt and move on. Even when people are being who they are and 'doing the best they can', sometimes they really are to blame. Sometimes being able to assign blame is needed in order to move on. I don't say this to suggest you're taking the wrong approach- not at all. I just know that dealing with some of this crap is a process, and not everyone is in the same place in that process. Hell, it's not even all the same process. Assigning blame and accepting responsibility are part of one process, though, and if you don't do the first part accurately, you can't do the second part accurately either. Many people are wounded as much by taking too much on themselves as by the original events they blame themselves for.

Cane

Yes, I can see that too. And I can look at the past and know that IF it suited me, I could look at events and say ~ yes, that's what 'made me feel like this', that's what led to this... I think it's a question of focus: whether we choose to focus on why things happened, or focus on dealing with what we have, what we have become, what we can do about it. To me, 'blame' is a looking-back kind of vision, while I want to look forward.

Of course, I know that I'm in that fortunate position NOW where I can feel that way. I've been through a lot of soul-searching and examination of the past. You're right... it is a long, and very, very hard process.

~ Elektra

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RE: feelings of worthlessness - 8/30/2005 1:53:33 PM

ElektraUkM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lonewolf05

quote:

ORIGINAL: ElektraUkM

... self respect... SELF respect. That comes from in here... not out there.

not out there? then lemme ask this. since "I" have been told all my life, out-there, that i am a no good sonofab*** and a worthless piece of s***.....just how are you supposed-to have it...in here?
this is what i have dealt with all my life. me vs the world.

wolf

You're in a really difficult position. I don't dispute that. I'm not going to argue the toss about who has had worse shit, because I don't see there's any benefit in that. But I would say to you that you're not alone, and there IS such a thing as knowing you are worth something, without having to wait for someone else to tell you that.

If you need someone else to tell you you're worth something... you still have no self-respect, yes?

And no, I'm not denying the absolute bliss of someone else valuing us. And I'm not denying the help that that can give us. Not at all. No-one can do it all alone. (so look out for those hands all around you?)

~ Elektra

< Message edited by ElektraUkM -- 8/30/2005 1:54:22 PM >

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