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Who's Gift Is It Anyway? - 1/13/2008 12:26:23 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline 		How do you feel about a submissive/slave giving a gift such as a paddle, flogger or restraint to their dominant/owner for His/Her birthday?
If the item is to be used on the sub/slave, is it really a present for their dominant/owner or is it another way to illicit playtime from the dominant/owner? 
 
 
My answer:
Nothing wrong with my boy wanting to illicit play, but I would want to be the one to decide when I use it. If my submissive expected me to use it right away (such is the case with most gifts) and I didn't choose to, my boy may be a little hurt that I didn't want to play with it as soon as I got it. He would understand of course, but I think it would hurt his feelings somewhat.
 
Say you?

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RE: Who's Gift Is It Anyway? - 1/13/2008 12:31:08 AM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		it;s kind of like him buying you sexy underwear. Who is he really buying it for. Though i think in the end both parties benefit from it.

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RE: Who's Gift Is It Anyway? - 1/13/2008 12:35:50 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
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quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

it;s kind of like him buying you sexy underwear. Who is he really buying it for. Though i think in the end both parties benefit from it.

Thank you for responding takenbyjohnro7. If both parties are enjoying it, wouldn't it stand to reason that the gift was then for both of them and not just the dominant?  

Edited for grammar

< Message edited by MistressOfGa -- 1/13/2008 12:37:15 AM >

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RE: Who's Gift Is It Anyway? - 1/13/2008 12:43:50 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

How do you feel about a submissive/slave giving a gift such as a paddle, flogger or restraint to their dominant/owner for His/Her birthday?
If the item is to be used on the sub/slave, is it really a present for their dominant/owner or is it another way to illicit playtime from the dominant/owner? 
 


Depends on the toy. I wouldn't give him a vib, even though we love using them in our play. However, if I knew he had his eye on a particular paddle or flogger I would get it for him. I don't that asking to play since it would be something that he wanted already.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: Who's Gift Is It Anyway? - 1/13/2008 12:45:51 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I buy him toys from time to time - toys I think he might enjoy using on me.  Some of them he uses, some of them he doesn't.  He uses me, and "plays' with me whenever he chooses, and not just because I bought him a new toy.  I have no expectations of such things and my feelings are not hurt if he does not want to do something.  Gifts for him are his to use if he wants, where he wants, with whom he wants, how he wants, and when he wants. 

So yes, it is really a present for my Master.

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RE: Who's Gift Is It Anyway? - 1/13/2008 12:48:00 AM   
Asherdelampyr


Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline 		With the lingerie example, I believe the term is "Lingerie isnt a gift, its a request" With that in mind, if a sub gave me a new toy for my birthday, or for any reason, I would graciously accept it as the thought of them trying to get me something that I would like that noone else would consider getting for me. Or, in shorter terms, I would think it rather thoughtful

-I know im ranting, not enough sleep, too much sugar, that sort of thing.


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RE: Who's Gift Is It Anyway? - 1/13/2008 1:56:05 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I buy him toys from time to time - toys I think he might enjoy using on me.  Some of them he uses, some of them he doesn't.  He uses me, and "plays' with me whenever he chooses, and not just because I bought him a new toy.  I have no expectations of such things and my feelings are not hurt if he does not want to do something.  Gifts for him are his to use if he wants, where he wants, with whom he wants, how he wants, and when he wants. 

So yes, it is really a present for my Master.


I love all of these answers. Those who are of the subly nature, your Masters should be proud. Those who are of the Masterly nature, your belief in the motives of your subs are equally as impressive.
I rather like the idea of my boy giving me a gift from his heart with no motives but to make me smile :)

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RE: Who's Gift Is It Anyway? - 1/13/2008 1:58:38 AM   
Asherdelampyr


Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline 		As my grandpa used to say "Belief is 9/10s of reality" Of course he started sayin this after he went nuts, so take from it what you will

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RE: Who's Gift Is It Anyway? - 1/13/2008 2:00:54 AM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		When you care about your sub, your actions are always going to be a bit manipulated by their wants and needs.  Just part of how caring about someone else works, I suppose.

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RE: Who's Gift Is It Anyway? - 1/13/2008 2:07:48 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		Why judge a gift anyways? IF you 2 really connect, then the gesture is what counts not?

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RE: Who's Gift Is It Anyway? - 1/13/2008 2:09:09 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

How do you feel about a submissive/slave giving a gift such as a paddle, flogger or restraint to their dominant/owner for His/Her birthday?
If the item is to be used on the sub/slave, is it really a present for their dominant/owner or is it another way to illicit playtime from the dominant/owner? 
 


Any gifts are always for Himself otherwise he'd only ever get 16 ga needles for presents. ::grins::

Additionally, I don't need to illicit playtime. I can ask then he will or will not play with me depending on his mood. Works for us.

Celeste

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Who's Gift Is It Anyway? - 1/13/2008 2:12:19 AM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I don't give Daddy D.s presents for his birthday, mainly cause there's things he wants more. However if he wanted it or would apreciate it, I see no problem with a sub presenting their dominant with toys and stuff, as long as it don't turn into a sense of intitlement thing. I bought it for you to use on me so now use it.

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RE: Who's Gift Is It Anyway? - 1/13/2008 2:15:15 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		~FR~

The best gifts though.. are buying really wicked, evil, nasty toys for the Masters of your good friends.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Who's Gift Is It Anyway? - 1/13/2008 2:16:51 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

~FR~

The best gifts though.. are buying really wicked, evil, nasty toys for the Masters of your good friends.

Celeste


lol but of course! That's what friends are for <g>

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RE: Who's Gift Is It Anyway? - 1/13/2008 2:21:18 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

~FR~

The best gifts though.. are buying really wicked, evil, nasty toys for the Masters of your good friends.

Celeste


Speaking of which... we just, as in tonight, got a new toy from a friend of ours. A flicker whip!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Who's Gift Is It Anyway? - 1/13/2008 2:23:20 AM   
Asherdelampyr


Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline 		Very Nice

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RE: Who's Gift Is It Anyway? - 1/13/2008 2:26:58 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

~FR~

The best gifts though.. are buying really wicked, evil, nasty toys for the Masters of your good friends.

Celeste


Speaking of which... we just, as in tonight, got a new toy from a friend of ours. A flicker whip!

Can I be their friend? <s>

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RE: Who's Gift Is It Anyway? - 1/13/2008 2:31:44 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

Can I be their friend? <s>


*chuckles* Come visit our part of NC. I'm sure we could arrange for you to meet up with them at one of the local events.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Who's Gift Is It Anyway? - 1/13/2008 2:35:13 AM   
Asherdelampyr


Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline 		I wish I had friends like that, all I got for xmas was cookie dough. and I dont even bake :(

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Pirate King,

The nicest man you'll ever bleed for

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RE: Who's Gift Is It Anyway? - 1/13/2008 2:36:45 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Awww.... I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe you can mold the cookie dough into a small but thick pad and use that as a sort of paddle? One of Val's favorite toys is a small bit of wood that fits perfectly into the palm of his hand.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Asherdelampyr)
Profile   Post #: 20
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