Overly romantizing the lifestyle

Overly romantizing the lifestyle (Full Version)

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cherrypez -> Overly romantizing the lifestyle (1/14/2008 6:59:15 AM)
I've heard this term thrown out there from time to time, and most D/s relationship are bound to have romance so what does this term 'overly romantized' mean? First to me, it sort of means believing that a D/s relationship is superior to all other relationships. In my case, yes my D/s relationship is far superior to any other relationship that I have ever had, but I don't think it's the flavor of the relationship that makes it so great. I believe age, maturity, life experience and building the solid foundation ahead of time has made it so great. Secondly to me, it means believing in the 'nearly' impossible. Sometimes, there is almost a influx of believing that because one is dominant he is without flaws, never angered, never sick, always a gentleman, independantly wealthy, possessing great strength, incredibly handsome and buffed... but there is also a similar not too often noticed an expectation of a submissive being in the same pefect mold. She must be sweet, loving, never bitter, never angry, god forbid if she has PMS, she must have exceptional cooking skills, must be able to manage a household and keep it ship shape at all times sometimes with a handful of um's (who by the way never interrupt scenes and are never around when she is kneeling naked when Master comes in at the end of the day), she must be incredibly sexy, never have a bad hair day, not be a doormat yet expected to Yes Sir every demand without exception....(I could go on forever) Lastly, I believe that it's the failure to take off the rose colored glasses and really look at it for what it really is for you. Now I suppose I could post something intimate about my lifestyle and another might believe that I am really not seeing things as reality, that happens. Sometimes, some really incredible unbelievable things truly exsist in a person's life. However other times, and we see it happen repeatedly, that someone will come on the boards stating they have found the 'one', life is grand, it's going to last forever and no love could be no greater, then the relationship either ends and they never seen it coming or even worse it goes 24/7 and reality hits them so hard that they are lost and confused and not sure how to get that magic back. So my question to everyone is what are your thoughts on the subject. Do you even think it is overly romantized? Do you even care? Why or why not?

IrishMist -> RE: Overly romantizing the lifestyle (1/14/2008 7:00:32 AM)
Overly romanticizing the lifestyle? What lifestyle? I don't live a fucking lifestyle. I live life.

cherrypez -> RE: Overly romantizing the lifestyle (1/14/2008 7:02:38 AM)
Thanks for the honest feed back.[:D]

Jeffff -> RE: Overly romantizing the lifestyle (1/14/2008 7:04:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist Overly romanticizing the lifestyle? What lifestyle? I don't live a fucking lifestyle. I live life. You romantic vixen , you..[8D] Jeff

RCdc -> RE: Overly romantizing the lifestyle (1/14/2008 7:05:10 AM)
Just adores IM! Ditto to what she said. (with extra fucks). Seriously, it would be 'nice' if people stopped jumping on the whole 'lifestyle' or 'community' lorry. the.dark.

IrishMist -> RE: Overly romantizing the lifestyle (1/14/2008 7:05:35 AM)
quote: You romantic vixen , you..[8D] Jeff LMAO Dayum it, I think you know me too well

cherrypez -> RE: Overly romantizing the lifestyle (1/14/2008 7:06:45 AM)
Wow, did I totally fuck up or what?

IrishMist -> RE: Overly romantizing the lifestyle (1/14/2008 7:08:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cherrypez Wow, did I totally fuck up or what? LOL No, I just think you phrased the question wrong is all...don't worry about me, I tend to...ummm...say exactly what is on my mind at any given moment [:D]

cherrypez -> RE: Overly romantizing the lifestyle (1/14/2008 7:10:30 AM)
IM that's okay no offense taken.

Dnomyar -> RE: Overly romantizing the lifestyle (1/14/2008 7:11:23 AM)
It is as romantic as you want it to be. If you want it to be romantic at all. I don't see it as romantic. It is something that I enjoy doing. It is a role switch nothing more. Weather or not if you want to admit it you are vanilla. This is an extension of that life. I dont care what spin you try to put on it thats the way it is. In my opinion.

Jeffff -> RE: Overly romantizing the lifestyle (1/14/2008 7:13:00 AM)
I think that style can really get in the way of life............and to answer you OP. Romance happens or it doesn't....just like in life.. Jeff

RCdc -> RE: Overly romantizing the lifestyle (1/14/2008 7:13:09 AM)
Not fuck up, but you assumed more than asking. If the question had been Overly romantizing BDSM - that would have made more sense to me, and I would have more enthusiasm to respond. But to make the assumption that there is a community or a lifestyle is ridiculous in my opinion. I know people do it, and people even insist they are a part of 'something special' - but to me, there are no leaders, no heads of state, no one to make the rules. No one calls bungie jumpers a community. Or a lifestyle of cooks. 'We' aren't the amish, or a commune. I live life - BDSM is a part of it, but I am not religiously devoted to it, nor do I have a need to belong to it. I belong to Darcy - why on earth would I belong to a community or lifestyle? Yeah - I am part of the Darcy 'Lifestyle'.[;)] the.dark.

KatyLied -> RE: Overly romantizing the lifestyle (1/14/2008 7:13:48 AM)
I think sone people are more romantic than others. I don't think the lifestyle is over romanticized, I just think that some people have screwed up views about life and the lifestyle.

MistressOfGa -> RE: Overly romantizing the lifestyle (1/14/2008 7:14:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist quote: ORIGINAL: cherrypez Wow, did I totally fuck up or what? LOL No, I just think you phrased the question wrong is all...don't worry about me, I tend to...ummm...say exactly what is on my mind at any given moment [:D] I don't think you phrased the question wrong. You phrased it the way you see it, the way you believe it, how can that be wrong? If other's don't see it or believe it the same way, that is their problem, not yours. You did not fuck up. As far as the question goes, I do see some who do idealize it more than it need be, but..as I said that is the way they view it. I don't share that view. Maybe the ones who have romantized it have not lived it yet, therefore have no experience (real time) to be able to distinguish between what they would like it to be, and what it really is.

Leatherist -> RE: Overly romantizing the lifestyle (1/14/2008 7:15:11 AM)
I see this most in people who dislike thier mundane lives. They seek an escape, so they romaticize a kink. Eventually, the fantasy doesn't measure up either. Waaahhh.[:(]

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Overly romantizing the lifestyle (1/14/2008 7:29:36 AM)
I think due to misinformation and ignorance some may have unreal expectations going in. Sometimes the line between fantasy and reality doesn't get distinguished for them. People forget the have to communicate and actually talk about things. Usually the ones that rush in and out of relationships have alot of other issues and is a constant pattern in their lives. We see it here on the forums those that don't set goals and talk about expectations going into a relationship or deciding to go 24/7. Then they live it and realize it isn't like their fantasy was. Then theres one drama and crisis after another. I am not perfect and neither is Master, we are human and make mistakes. We both have little quirks and deal with things as they come. No one is perfect no relationship is without issues from time to time. Sometimes the fantasy some have in their head is easier to deal with than real life.

DS4DUMMIES -> RE: Overly romantizing the lifestyle (1/14/2008 7:31:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark Just adores IM! Ditto to what she said. (with extra fucks). Seriously, it would be 'nice' if people stopped jumping on the whole 'lifestyle' or 'community' lorry. the.dark. ......ahhh...never mind ... :)

juliaoceania -> RE: Overly romantizing the lifestyle (1/14/2008 7:46:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar It is as romantic as you want it to be. If you want it to be romantic at all. I don't see it as romantic. It is something that I enjoy doing. It is a role switch nothing more. Weather or not if you want to admit it you are vanilla. This is an extension of that life. I dont care what spin you try to put on it thats the way it is. In my opinion. Actually I do not think anyone is vanilla, life is a lot more flavorful than that, but that is just how I see it

takenbyjohnr07 -> RE: Overly romantizing the lifestyle (1/14/2008 7:50:01 AM)
As a child most of us were read about Prince Charming. In all the movies and books and love songsThe man of your dreams, he was romantic and perfect and she was beautiful and flawles also. Hard to live up to, but also hard to get out of your head. Same with BDSM. We learn from movies and books and now websites, how it's suppose to be and if it's not that way then you are doing it wrong and are not happy. My Owner is not perfect, but he's perfect for me. And that's the way people should be let to live. what is right for them and what makes them happy.

Sabella -> RE: Overly romantizing the lifestyle (1/14/2008 8:06:10 AM)
People in general romanticize all sorts of things in their life, it's nothing new or unusual. From their breed of dog, kids, education, heritage, whether they have hardwood vs laminate floors, their cars, clothing brands, jewelry, where they live, vacation, family connections, hobbies, jobs, political or religious bent. The list is endless. I romanticize my cat because she was a stray that wandered up and she matches my diva lounge couch PERFECTLY! Really I couldn't have designed a more complimentary cat if I tried. She's smarter than your cat too.

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