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RE: Lessening the ego - 1/16/2008 2:51:22 PM   
ownedgirlie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry

Like your little question about that i quoted a couple posts back....that is important....and some of the stuff that Taggard made points of last night.



Thank you, cherry, now I feel like my posts aren't all for naught.  :)  I continue to ask myself that question as well.  I know the answer, now it's just a matter of getting through what I need to get through without all the wailing and gnashing of teeth!!  Your thread came at a great time.  Now it's time to do the mental work.  Again, my thanks to you and to Taggard as well.

(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: Lessening the ego - 1/16/2008 3:00:26 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Hi beth,

I don't mind you quoting me at all, and I appreciate and respect your views on this subject, as well as so many others.  I understand what you're saying about "your" world.  Mr. Wonderful has not limited my vocabulary in such a way, so for us, it is implied that when I say "my world" I mean "my world as it is owned by him."  I can not begin to fathom the struggles I would have with editing my speech as you do.  Master loves challenging me, but speech is not one of the ways he does.  In the case of the issue I am speaking of here, it is an emotional challenge, which is why this thread has been good for me. 

Thank you, though, for sharing your views.  I always enjoy your words here.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: Lessening the ego - 1/16/2008 3:03:46 PM   
ownedgirlie


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Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tricia
I've been having this issue, as well.  The worst part has been feeling so bad about it but not knowing how to stop it.  And even, at times, questioning everything I am.  Cherry, I can relate to the roller coaster ride, I often call it spiraling. In my case, it's never very pretty or productive. I managed to exasperate my Master to the point that he finally told me to get over myself.  And now I know what he meant.  Thanks again for the thread.
 
tricia


Hi tricia, it's great to see you posting again, although I'm sorry it's for a struggle you are having.  I've gotten that "get over yourself" before.  Fun, isn't it?  :)


(in reply to tricia)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Lessening the ego - 1/16/2008 3:06:02 PM   
MistressVnus


Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline 		Aaaaaaalrighty then!!  LOL

Now you have me confused.  Let's try square one again.
What do your ego and not receiving structure have to do with each other.  Or, how is your ego hindering your submission?


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(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Lessening the ego - 1/16/2008 3:07:47 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		If I can take a stab at this....ego is self.  She wants structure, which would serve self, rather than what her Master wants.  She doesn't mean ego as in egotistical or arrogance.  She means ego as in putting self before Owner.

(in reply to MistressVnus)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Lessening the ego - 1/16/2008 3:31:08 PM   
daddyncherry


Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressVnus

Aaaaaaalrighty then!!  LOL

Now you have me confused.  Let's try square one again.
What do your ego and not receiving structure have to do with each other.  Or, how is your ego hindering your submission?



Well it wasn't what the OP was relly about LOL...but it ended up coming out somewhere in conversation around page 2 maybe (a few posts down from the top is where it began.....

Basically i was looking for ways to dull down my ego....centering things and the like...things to take any focus of of myself....and things kinda just went from there.

And i don't think my ego is hindering my submission...i still submit....but it does hinder my acceptance of certain things and therefore it makes things painful for me sometimes that might not need to be painful if the ego was lessened.

Does that make sense?


_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to MistressVnus)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Lessening the ego - 1/16/2008 3:33:13 PM   
daddyncherry


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

If I can take a stab at this....ego is self.  She wants structure, which would serve self, rather than what her Master wants.  She doesn't mean ego as in egotistical or arrogance.  She means ego as in putting self before Owner.


And yes, this is something that has sorta come up during this thread....i do NEED structure..but that was just an aside....the structure would give me peace of mind where i don't have alot of that sometimes.

Defintely not in any kind of arrogant way AT ALL...i am far from arrogant...so you were right there.


_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Lessening the ego - 1/16/2008 3:39:11 PM   
slavemaia


Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry

Thanks MR,

There are certain things that i do for him such as washing his back every morning that help me feel more centered as a slave....being a slave is my only real state of being, since i am a stay at home slave...and i do wear a collar all the time, but sometimes i just loose sight of what it should all be about.

It kinda boils down to some "wants vs.needs" type issues....i have learned that alot of what i used to think i NEEDED i really only wanted....Then the other part of the issue is motivation behin actions (on my part and in trying to understand him as well)....

i don't know if i am making sense here at all....but thank you for the suggestions



There are 2 books that i've found very helpful to me in internalizing my slavery - that's what i call it. The books are "Slave Craft" and "The Surrendered Wife". Although the latter is not a BDSM book, i've found invaluable information contained in it and useful ways to practice my submission and surrender.

_____________________________


She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Lessening the ego - 1/16/2008 3:48:52 PM   
daddyncherry


Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		slavemaia,

Thank you...and i have read "Slave Craft", although at the time only parts of it really spoke to me...maybe now a year+ later it would. And the "Surrendered Wife", i have heard of but not read..maybe i will add that to my possible reading list, along with "The Ethical Slut"...

i have internalized my slavery, but every so often i come out of "socket" or realize that it isn't as internalized as it could be and that there is work to do.


_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to slavemaia)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Lessening the ego - 1/28/2008 1:09:53 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: charlotte12

The worst is when i can't think of any better way to refer to him in front of Vanilla friends than "my boyfriend."


Have you asked him how he wants you to refer to him?  I am partial to "my One", but I'm kinda quirky like that.  And it, uh, differentiates my One from my Two.   

Cali



You know, I've had her ask me once or twice.  I've told her "my Man" works pretty well.  (Obviously, the M can't be capitalized when spoken ;)

Stephan

< Message edited by Stephann -- 1/28/2008 1:10:24 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Lessening the ego - 1/28/2008 2:11:51 PM   
RipTyed


Posts: 18
Joined: 1/3/2008
From: Rhode Island
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry

i have internalized my slavery, but every so often i come out of "socket" or realize that it isn't as internalized as it could be and that there is work to do.



A philosophical question

Is the seeking of perfection  (loss of ego)  in practice,  egocentric? 

A down to earth answer

Take your time. Enjoy the present and the actualization. 

(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Lessening the ego - 1/28/2008 3:14:33 PM   
daddyncherry


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RipTyed

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry

i have internalized my slavery, but every so often i come out of "socket" or realize that it isn't as internalized as it could be and that there is work to do.



A philosophical question

Is the seeking of perfection  (loss of ego)  in practice,  egocentric? 

A down to earth answer

Take your time. Enjoy the present and the actualization. 



Wow...now yur gonna make my head hurt....LOL....i am not striving for perfection....just acceptance and to be tuned into my motivations for things

When i am not in a soul searching mode i tend to live more in the moment, but then there are times when i question and wax all philosophical.


_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to RipTyed)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: Lessening the ego - 1/28/2008 3:21:42 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RipTyed

A philosophical question

Is the seeking of perfection  (loss of ego)  in practice,  egocentric? 

A down to earth answer

Take your time. Enjoy the present and the actualization. 



Not if what one is trying to do is present the Master with as close to perfection as possible.  Striving for perfection (while knowing it can never be reached) does not have to be about self, but can be about what one is able to provide.

(in reply to RipTyed)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Lessening the ego - 1/28/2008 5:11:39 PM   
RipTyed


Posts: 18
Joined: 1/3/2008
From: Rhode Island
Status: offline 		Laughing    Understood.

Do  what you need to do and keep living in the moment.  Anticipate the best  !


(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Lessening the ego - 1/28/2008 5:14:12 PM   
daddyncherry


Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: RipTyed

A philosophical question

Is the seeking of perfection  (loss of ego)  in practice,  egocentric? 

A down to earth answer

Take your time. Enjoy the present and the actualization. 



Not if what one is trying to do is present the Master with as close to perfection as possible.  Striving for perfection (while knowing it can never be reached) does not have to be about self, but can be about what one is able to provide.


Yeah what she said

If i am understanding correclt OG, then if it is in ones capability to do a better job for their D or M then why not strive to be the best?

And i will add to that, don't they deserve the best? And not some half assed job?

RipTyde i do sort of get what you mean, but then, there is that desire to do the best and be the best me i can be for him as well as for myself (which is in accordance with his wishes anyway)



< Message edited by daddyncherry -- 1/28/2008 5:50:26 PM >

_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: Lessening the ego - 1/28/2008 5:17:57 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RipTyed

Do  what you need to do and keep living in the moment.  Anticipate the best  !



Exactly this - live in the now and strive for greatness.  :)

(in reply to RipTyed)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: Lessening the ego - 1/28/2008 5:21:25 PM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		A good reflection tool is to 'pray' at the beginning or end of your day. Not in the traditional sense, but to go through your list of all you give thanks for that day in your life, and your relationship. Make a mantra or recite before your Dom if you like all those things you are fortunate to be blessed with. Strive each day to reflect on how you can be humble int he face of your good fortune, and how you can show appreciation for all that you have.

I'm not a religious person, so pray to your Dom or your left foot or whatever you like, but the practice of prayer/self reflection in such a form can help change your day-to-day outlook.

(in reply to Bound2One)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: Lessening the ego - 1/28/2008 5:30:18 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry
If i am understanding correclt OG, then if it is in ones capability to do a better job for their D or M they why not strive to be the best?


If we are fluid and growing beings, then we can always improve.  This does not mean we shouldn't be happy with who we are now, it just means we'll always be learning and reaching for the stars.  At least I will be.  :)

quote:


And i will add to that, don't they deserve the best? And not some half assed job?


I can only speak for my Master, and he deserves my best.  There's a lot of room between half assed and best, and half assed is unacceptable to him.  But as long as I'm giving him nt best effort, he is happy. 

(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: Lessening the ego - 1/28/2008 5:31:52 PM   
RipTyed


Posts: 18
Joined: 1/3/2008
From: Rhode Island
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: RipTyed

A philosophical question

Is the seeking of perfection  (loss of ego)  in practice,  egocentric? 

A down to earth answer

Take your time. Enjoy the present and the actualization. 



Not if what one is trying to do is present the Master with as close to perfection as possible.  Striving for perfection (while knowing it can never be reached) does not have to be about self, but can be about what one is able to provide.


Yeah what she said

And i will add to that, don't they deserve the best? And not some half assed job?



Laughing - 
Respect with a smile.  



(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 119
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