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RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 7:00:44 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
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I'd tell him to fuck off. I'd remind him that he looks like an immature ass who is just pissed he was turned down. Then I'd never respond to him again.
But then again that's what I'd do. You may not like that advice.

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RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 7:00:56 AM

Likes2Spank

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we all make decisions from those situations. All we can do is learn. I made the decision to drive to where a submissive I was talking to. Only to learn she was a fake.. 10 hours of drive time. She was the one who invited me down. I am very skeptical of all on this site or any other. It is too bad

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RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 7:01:42 AM

BBBTBW

Posts: 836
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You can chat on MSN and not pay for it. The internet has made it possible for people to be completely annonymous.

To the OP. You sent him nudies....You won't do that again...Chalk it up to inexperience and move forward. If you don't want this guy to have power over you, don't give it to him. If he posts the pics and someone you know sees them...then jolly for them. It might cause you a bit of embarassment but that too will pass.

I have a DOMINANT friend that is being harrassed by a "sub/slave" She has many years of experience but that doesn't shield you from all the idiots. He doesnt' get that she doesn't want him and he won't quit....Its a big wave that has to be ridden til it dies out...eventually it will. Good Luck to you and take some of the advice above...change what you can about your account and what you can't change, don't sweat....it will all blow over eventually.

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RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 7:05:40 AM

SassySarijane

Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain

Sassy, I disagree with some of what you suggest. She should contact law enforcement first and let them tell her what to do for obvious reasons. He could get years in the big house for this.

Yes she should contact law enforcement and give them all records of contact with him and follow their advice though I can't see them telling her to keep in touch with the guy really...could be wrong.

I mentioned 2 options on ending it, either by no further contact at all or by letting him know it's been taken to the police. Those are not the only options, just 2 that popped to mind first off. I'm assuming she's an adult and can take what works for her from what all of us have said and make her own decision on how she needs or wants to proceed.

Just my $2.00 FWIW (inflation you know)

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RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 7:08:00 AM

neveralone

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thankyou all so much, i feel better just knowing what i can do and where i stand, im not a regular forum goer because i am shy in big groups but i took the chance this time and thnkyou all for the advice you have given me now i just hope it works

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RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 7:11:37 AM

Likes2Spank

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We all have been in situations similar to yours. Some ar emore extreme. In our world as it is we must always stay to the cautious side. If someone asks for something and we say no, b ecause we are not ready. If they do not understand, Then move on. They are not who they represent themselves as..

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RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 7:11:52 AM

SassySarijane

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From: KC Area Missouri
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Stick around here

. We're not tooooooo bad to hang with. You can really learn a lot around here just by reading threads that interest you. Welcome to the boards and I really do hope things get resolved for you on this issue.

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RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 7:16:12 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain

You can go to law enforcement for anyone posting your pics without your consent. Plus, what he is doing is blackmail. Go to the police. You said you did something to appease him? Why? What? I hope it wasn't something that will hurt you in the long run.

This is great advice.

We have to remember that while we may be unusual as a subculture we still have the rights and protections of the greater culture. Like everyone else we have to take that first step to get help when we need it.

To the original poster, neveralone: You need to stop and try to figure out why you replied to this person at all and why you sent photos. Until you do this, and learn to set some limits for yourself, you run the risk of getting into this situation again with another person.

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RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 7:17:44 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

Ok so I ask, why in the world would you send nude pics to someone you don't know??? and what did you hope to gain from posting the chat?? helloooo

anytime you do ANYTHING on the internet, it is subject to be made major public--first of all, he writes like a teen and he has horrible spelling--all that aside, you gave it over, you have to take it back--next time, use your common sense.

and next time, grow up and use your head.

edited for typo due to long nails, smiles

You took the words right out of my mouth.

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RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 7:29:22 AM

angelic

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~fr~ Going to law enforcement definitely can't hurt; however, it most likely will not be the 'be all end all'. If you decide to go to Law Enforcement, they will ask you how he got the pictures, when you tell them you sent them (voluntarily and all), they will take down as much information about him as you have (i am guessing you probably do not have much) and file it. Most law enforcement agencies are so overwhelmed and short staffed that they simply do not have the manpower. Internet law enforcement are searching for predators of ums, not immature childish Doms who throw threats around like candy. There is a website you can file a complaint against someone for internet abuses. http://www.ic3.gov/

imo the best defense against this person is simply ignore them.

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RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 7:32:54 AM

SimplySubmissive

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Take back your power. Tell the scumbag to do whatever he thinks he needs to do. It only shows how NOT dominant he is. Just a weak little weasel. God, if that is the only way a guy can get someone to submit to them.........pathetic.

Whatever repercussions there are from his actions they will be less so if you give him permission to proceed and remove the permission of his pathetic brand of dominance. Face it, there is no photo he can possibly have that is worse than some of the photos all over the net of our youg celebretards. Whatever they are you certainly can explain to anyone that would ask. He will have a much more difficult time explaining his behaviour and the need to abuse the trust you gave him.

Yes!!
It only makes him look like an idiot. This conversation you posted sounds like a child..
If he wants to act childish, let him.
No big deal to you.
In fact, maybe he helped you. Now you know that you will be more careful in the future about pics.
This whole one day thing? jeeze.. he wants to get off, nothing more, nothing less.

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RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 8:24:52 AM

shellzbythesea

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quote:

ORIGINAL: neveralone

i have not replied yet to his last message i was hoping for advise first.

ang

How long has it been since you last chatted with him? i ask because i was in an uncomfortable situation where a Dom was sending me veiled threats via texts and IMs and even though we'd met in a person a few times, the "relationship" began online (and then went RT). i told another Dom about the situation. He's a Dom that i hadn't yet met but had many convos with during the same time frame. He suggested something that i did *not* think would work but it worked amazingly well. He said that "online" people often fade away if you don't respond to anything they say for a full two weeks. He suggested i remove my ad during that time (which i did) and then just stop responding, AT ALL, to his texts and msgs. And guess what? He was right.

If he's harrassing you...he may be harrassing others at the same time. He'll likely keep doing so to the one that keeps and holds his interest.

It's kind of like "cat and mouse." Once the mouse quits moving, the cat moves on to find another mouse. Hopefully, this particular cat will get his paws snapped off in a mousetrap, eventually (or better yet, something else, likely equally as small).

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RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 12:30:04 PM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Take back your power. Tell the scumbag to do whatever he thinks he needs to do. It only shows how NOT dominant he is. Just a weak little weasel. God, if that is the only way a guy can get someone to submit to them.........pathetic.

I agree with this. Someone once threatened to post my pics and as soon as I realized I didn't really care - I mean, if she did, she did, right? - I could stop wasting energy on anger and fear.

(I say "she" since it was actually a "friend" of mine, from this site, even, go figure)

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RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 12:36:16 PM

CuriousLord

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Guys who do what he has aren't uncommon. Threatening to report them to the police is typically effective.

I've never met anyone who actually went through with the report, but it seems kinda backlash-ish, so there may be some risk involved, but it's your call.

Fair warning, if you make the threat, he'll probably lash out even more for a little bit. Just be firm.. you have the upper hand.

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RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 12:36:24 PM

RCdc

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When he says you have to give yourselfto him for one day, in what way? Online?

the.dark.

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RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 12:40:36 PM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

I've never met anyone who actually went through with the report, but it seems kinda backlash-ish, so there may be some risk involved, but it's your call.

I do. I know a submissive male whose former "top" threatened to out him with compromising photos and he went to the police. They paid her a visit and it stopped immediately. Funny how the cops can so quickly take away someone's power.

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RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 12:41:42 PM

KnOcala

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Learn from what happened. Never sacrifice your priciples and don't let anyone abuse you mental as well as physically.
I do believe there are a lot of good people on here.

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RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 12:51:49 PM

littlebitxxx

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Hugs to you OP.
Please stand up to him and tell him to fuck off. A bully normally backs down from that. Even if he posts your pics....a) if they are on this site, we're all used to nudies and won't think a thing about it, even if they are on his profile (he can't post to yours). b) if they are on a blog site, chances are no one you know goes there to see anyway. c) if nobody has picked up that you are here from googling your profile nick, chances are they won't.
Hopefully you are keeping chat logs of everything. You can through MSN options. Makes a good backup for it all.
And like everyone else said: chin up, learn from this, don't do it again, etc etc.
<doing the mom's wagging finger thing>

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RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 12:57:59 PM

givemyall

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I agree with Ownedgirlie and LaTigresse on this one too. I wouldn't allow him to bully you, he has found your vunerable spot and he's using it against you because he can't get his own way .... he sounds like a complete fuckwit, so treat him like one.

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RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 1:09:09 PM

Lashra

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This guy is an asshole and if you go along with him what does that make you? Use your brain get him out of your life and find someone who really cares about you. What he is doing is called blackmail, give into it once and he will keep forcing you to do things you don't want.

~Lashra

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