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RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 1:10:10 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: neveralone

he wants me to strip and things on cam, something that when trust is built i dont mind but i just dont like or trust this guy. he is a member of CM so other girls may end up in the same situation


Don't do it, he can capture the cam shots and will have more material to threaten you with.  Also you won't know if he has friends in the room out of view of his cam also watching you without your knowledge.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to neveralone)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 1:11:18 PM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline 		never let anyone push you into something you don't want.  period.  if they cared about you they wouldn't push it on you.  they only care about what they want.  not a good thing in a relationship with anyone.

PM

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That which does not kill me, better run pretty damn fast

I miss my ex, but my aim is improving!




(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 1:17:57 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I'd tell him to fuck off.   I'd remind him that he looks like an immature ass who is just pissed he was turned down.   Then I'd never respond to him again.  
But then again that's what I'd do.  You may not like that advice.



You wouldn't ever do this...You are a fucking liar! You know how I know this....Beeeyatch? Because you would never find yourself in this situation. You possess some sort of a compass that informs you when you are pointing towards an idiot or some motherfucker.

Personally I think it is wise for the op to proceed and meet the demands of "her man." I'm sure there is much more to the conversations than were exhibited within this thread. I think they were meant for each other. She chose poorly. He's an ass...eharmony couldn't have done better in putting these two together. Do you think that her behavior will improve by telling this guy to go away? She should follow his every command. It will probably end tragically. I can live with the outcome. It's just the thought of having to gaze at all of her future posts that will cause my eyes to bleed that I find intolerable.

Stand by your man.

_____________________________



(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 2:23:19 PM   
dryfsys


Posts: 22
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		just  dont react any more and block him...you can change your id too  if you like    . there will always be some bastards out on the net, just ignore them

Will

(in reply to neveralone)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 2:25:09 PM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		Folks, this is blackmail, a major crime, pure and simple. She is in the UK; look at what the penanlty for it can be in the UK. Up to life in prison. To the OP, for goodness sakes, go to the police and let them tell you what to do. Your pics are going to keep making the rounds until this is stopped by law enforcement. Don't keep coming up with ways to let the guy off easily. Just go to the police.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blackmail

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to neveralone)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 2:41:33 PM   
neveralone


Posts: 12
Joined: 11/17/2006
Status: offline 		thankyou again for all the advice i have it all logged and i have a friend coming to the station with me on monday afternoon to see what i should do thnkyou

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 3:18:52 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I will say this, if you give yourself in real life to this person to do whatever he wants to with you, that is crazy. He could rape and murder you and stick your body in a drum. No amount of embarassment or professional credibility you could lose would be worth that. He has already proven he is a sick little fucking freak.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to neveralone)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 5:07:06 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		Do I know this guy by any chance?
I ONLY ASK BECAUSE HIS PATHETIC SCRIPT IS SO FAMILIAR.
See my thread: http://www.collarchat.com/m_1521753/tm.htm
It's really sad when a so-called dominant hasn't any other 'tricks' than the threat of outing you or indeed outing your pics.
I've actually had this done to me and yes the pics, taken during secens, and taken of him and myself all in good faith that they were for his private use only, were sent to my employer and my publisher and posted god knows where on the internet. But guess what: he edited himself out though.
Anyway most of my pics were on alt so anyone one who recognised me would have been perving on there anyway BUT this is not to say that the constant threats from him, the costant other manipulations (emotional amd psychological) did not give me the nearest thing to a breakdown that i believe it's possible for me to have.
More recently a so-called Dominant blackmailed me and used slander in email form and semt that to my employer and phoned others also.
What the hell did these gys think: that I was more likely to submit to them after they showed themselves as manipulative abusers too sad to have any sense of protocol or any other redeemng qualities or indeed were even attractive to me in the first place?
i took the best advice from those friend I have here as well as those R/T friends who said to me: look it's very simple. He only has as much power over you as you allow him to have.
Srop contact as someone like this is most likely to think of your refusals as a natural part of your on-going relationship with him.

And if it happens to me again remind me to read my own posts.



< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 1/20/2008 5:13:31 PM >

(in reply to neveralone)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 5:16:44 PM   
tigerstyle


Posts: 168
Joined: 5/25/2005
Status: offline 		Nothing like being threatened by an illiterate. Jesus.

(in reply to neveralone)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 5:24:22 PM   
KaylinSilverfurr


Posts: 74
Joined: 1/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tigerstyle

Nothing like being threatened by an illiterate. Jesus.


Please don't get me started. *chuckles softly*

~Kaylin

(in reply to tigerstyle)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 5:34:44 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

Ok so I ask, why in the world would you send nude pics to someone you don't know??? and what did you hope  to gain from posting the chat?? helloooo
 
anytime you do ANYTHING on the internet, it is subject to be made major public--first of all, he writes like a teen and he has horrible spelling--all that aside, you gave it over, you have to take it back--next time, use your common sense.
 
and next time, grow up and use your head.

edited for typo due to long nails, smiles


She made a mistake, let's try something constructive instead of just beating her up over it.


I would like to know at what point in time, did it become mandatory for people to use kid gloves here? Yes, she made a mistake, but us not telling her that is a disservice to her as well as anyone else who comes along and makes the same mistakes. I agree with my good Friend Mistress Hathor. Sometimes the best thing we can do for a person on here is use a little tough love. I don't see MH beating her up, I see someone who honestly cares enough to shine a mirror up to her. I don't see anyone being beat up, I do, however see a lot of people who care and want to help.

_____________________________





(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 5:40:25 PM   
tigerlilly34


Posts: 70
Status: offline 		A true Dom would never threaten to do anything of the sort.  Sounds to me like he is a whiney little boy who does not like it when he can't have his way. A real Dom would respect you for your decision and let it go at that and move on in a mature manner.

(in reply to neveralone)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 6:00:21 PM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: neveralone

LadyHathor

i accept i was stupid

by posting here i was hoping to learn my rights as i have done not be ridiculed for a mistake


You can find out your rights by speaking with a lawyer - not a bunch of non-lawyerly kinky folk on a message board.

I feel for you - you made a stupid mistake and now want to rectify it - but you've come to the wrong place to ask that question.  There are *other* questions that can be discussed here...but your "rights" are legal, not kink-related.

(in reply to neveralone)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 6:09:09 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Call a lawyer. Have the lawyer guide you through the legal process. If he's in a different state, then the FBI can be involved. You want them to come down on him like a ton of bricks.

And in the future, please remember that anything put on the internet is public forever. You post a nude pic and your grandchildren  could come across it. Remember that.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to neveralone)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 6:16:58 PM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

basically i started chatting to a Dom from here on msn.


since you sent them to him  why worry about him showing others? I mean you started it after all sending nudes  to ( a " Dom" stranger)


_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to neveralone)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 8:02:06 PM   
jbs20001


Posts: 4
Joined: 1/7/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tigerlilly34

A true Dom would never threaten to do anything of the sort.  Sounds to me like he is a whiney little boy who does not like it when he can't have his way. A real Dom would respect you for your decision and let it go at that and move on in a mature manner.


Sounds to me more like someone in severe need of his bollocks chopping off,,,,

(in reply to tigerlilly34)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 11:03:53 PM   
fluffyswitch


Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

Ok so I ask, why in the world would you send nude pics to someone you don't know??? and what did you hope  to gain from posting the chat?? helloooo
 
anytime you do ANYTHING on the internet, it is subject to be made major public--first of all, he writes like a teen and he has horrible spelling--all that aside, you gave it over, you have to take it back--next time, use your common sense.
 
and next time, grow up and use your head.

edited for typo due to long nails, smiles


She made a mistake, let's try something constructive instead of just beating her up over it.


I would like to know at what point in time, did it become mandatory for people to use kid gloves here? Yes, she made a mistake, but us not telling her that is a disservice to her as well as anyone else who comes along and makes the same mistakes. I agree with my good Friend Mistress Hathor. Sometimes the best thing we can do for a person on here is use a little tough love. I don't see MH beating her up, I see someone who honestly cares enough to shine a mirror up to her. I don't see anyone being beat up, I do, however see a lot of people who care and want to help.


yeah but telling her to grow up? like you've never made a mistake? there's a difference between tough love and just being well rude. and if the intention is to help, tough love doesn't have to be rude.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/20/2008 11:46:46 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		I don't know UK law, but consent given under duress is not consent at all in the United States.  I'd point out to the guy that if you did have sex with him you'd then be going to the authorities and filing charges for rape and see how he takes that bit of news.  Is he in the UK as well?  I sure as hell would never meet this guy.  While he seems to be in anarticulate and uneducated bully, you really don't know. 


< Message edited by laurell3 -- 1/20/2008 11:47:15 PM >

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to fluffyswitch)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/21/2008 8:58:07 AM   
soul2share


Posts: 7084
Joined: 12/18/2007
From: somewhere out there.....
Status: offline 		I agree, sending nude pics is a mistake.....i don't even send photos out of myself to ANYONE!!!!!!  Period......if they are shallow enough to demand a pic prior to meeting me, then hell, they need to move on!  To be fair, I don't ask for pics either.....i'm more of a "what's on the inside" type.  If the guy posts the pics....well, live and learn.....and go after him in any legal way you can.

As for contacting MSN to report him, I'm sure folks have alread told you to just use the "Contact Us" icons.....they aren't going to want to be a party to anything that can get them involved in any kind of legal battle.

Good luck, I hope you can stop this ass......and please, be CAREFUL in the future!  You are the ONLY responsible person when it comes to your privacy and safety.

OOPS...sorry, just got that you're in the UK.....so the FBI won't be much help.....but there has to be some sort of Internet crime division to deal with things like this.  THe local police should be able to point you in the right direction.  And make sure you report him to CM if he's here......I know they won't take any crap!

And don't be afraid to hang out here....trust me, I learned plenty from here!  And the folks here are pretty nice.  One bad apple doesn't make the rest of us idjits!

< Message edited by soul2share -- 1/21/2008 9:08:42 AM >

_____________________________

I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?"...people are starting to take it as a challenge!

*Not a fuck was given.*

(in reply to neveralone)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: being pushed into things i dont want...help - 1/21/2008 2:53:28 PM   
MariaIsabel


Posts: 57
Joined: 11/11/2007
Status: offline 		well hunny just ignore the bastard you giving in will only make it worse to me he sounds like he is a sexually abusive person that needs to be turned in and believe me doing that might make it better for you and who ever the next person is let me know what happens if you do turn him in because i have experience enough that i think i can help you through this just message me we can be friends and ill help you any way i can

(in reply to neveralone)
Profile   Post #: 60
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