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Is this common? - 1/20/2008 9:01:38 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Ok, I pulled this from another thread here on this forum, so I just had to ask
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetieSub37

This thread couldn't have come at a better time for me as i am about to get the silent treatment tonight from my Dom for not being able to complete an assignment.  it is similar to the OP's dillema - i was supposed to find someone for my Dom to chat with by 7:00 p.m. tonight or i would be ignored.  It's not like i haven't been trying...i've asked all my friends and tried to find nice people
online but to no avail. it's hard enough forging your own relationships without having to make a connection for someone else.

It made me feel better to read the replies in this thread anyway. I feel more confident about explaining my discomfort to my Dom and asking for him to
reconsider this assignment. 


Since this isn't something you find on the "Mistress" board, I came to ask My question here.  Are there really a number of Masters who are so inept at finding a third that the task is assigned to their sub/slaves?  Is it really appropriate to punish when the assignment given by the Master, who wasn't able to do for Himself, also isn't able to be completed by the slave?

Seems to Me, in this type of situation, the word Master or Dom is being thrown around a little too casually.

Opinions?  Thoughts?


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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RE: Is this common? - 1/20/2008 9:05:05 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

  Are there really a number of Masters who are so inept at finding a third that the task is assigned to their sub/slaves? 


Probably so.
 
quote:

 Is it really appropriate to punish when the assignment given by the Master, who wasn't able to do for Himself, also isn't able to be completed by the slave?


It's always possible he's able to, but doesn't want to.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Is this common? - 1/20/2008 9:06:43 AM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		I agree with you completely. It's unrealistic to think the sub or slave can accomplish what the Dominant couldn't.

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

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RE: Is this common? - 1/20/2008 9:19:08 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I don't get it.  It's as if the dominant only has the submissive for one purpose, to find another submissive for him.

I don't do poly, but if I did, as a rational-thinking person, I would think that a relationship would be developed between all three people and that it wouldn't consist of one person shouldering the entire burden of finding another and then being punished when she couldn't succeed in what has to be one of the more difficult bdsm "assignments."


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RE: Is this common? - 1/20/2008 9:20:27 AM   
venusinblu


Posts: 165
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline 		color me surprised, but if my Master did something like this, he'd be someone elses 'problem' by 7.00.  In my humble opinion this is not Dom-ing, it's being an ass-hole. 

Mileage may vary, of course.


_____________________________

Louis: Do you think I would let them harm you?
Claudia: No you would not Louis. Danger holds you to me.
Louis: Love holds you to me.

~~~~~~

When the going gets tough, the tough get under the table . ... Edmund Blackadder

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Is this common? - 1/20/2008 9:22:02 AM   
MollyTroubletail


Posts: 44
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline 		I think it's a ludicrous situation from any angle. There's nothing remotely intelligent about it, it's degrading for everyone involved, and it is just plain.... stupid.

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Is this common? - 1/20/2008 9:22:18 AM   
venusinblu


Posts: 165
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I don't get it.  It's as if the dominant only has the submissive for one purpose, to find another submissive for him.

I don't do poly, but if I did, as a rational-thinking person, I would think that a relationship would be developed between all three people and that it wouldn't consist of one person shouldering the entire burden of finding another and then being punished when she couldn't succeed in what has to be one of the more difficult bdsm "assignments."



i agree with you completely .. i feel too that it shows in incredible amount of disrespect for the original sub and the 'found' sub ..


_____________________________

Louis: Do you think I would let them harm you?
Claudia: No you would not Louis. Danger holds you to me.
Louis: Love holds you to me.

~~~~~~

When the going gets tough, the tough get under the table . ... Edmund Blackadder

(in reply to KatyLied)
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RE: Is this common? - 1/20/2008 9:26:50 AM   
DesertRat


Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: venusinblu
color me surprised, but if my Master did something like this, he'd be someone elses 'problem' by 7.00... 


This made me laugh out loud. And I agree. On the other hand, next time I talk to a sub, maybe I should order her to get me laid.

Bob

_____________________________

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro--Hunter S. Thompson
It's crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide!--Chief Dead St. Knockout, 1933, Liverpool
Damn the crops. I'll only find peace at the end of a rope.--Winston Van Loo, 1911

(in reply to venusinblu)
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RE: Is this common? - 1/20/2008 9:32:15 AM   
venusinblu


Posts: 165
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline 		you'd send a girl to do a man's job, DesertRat? <simper, simper .... lol! >

_____________________________

Louis: Do you think I would let them harm you?
Claudia: No you would not Louis. Danger holds you to me.
Louis: Love holds you to me.

~~~~~~

When the going gets tough, the tough get under the table . ... Edmund Blackadder

(in reply to DesertRat)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Is this common? - 1/20/2008 9:32:43 AM   
kuuntuli


Posts: 17
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline 		I don't think asking sub to look for a third party is unreasonable, but punishing for not being able to accomplish this is. There are other people involved so it isn't up to the sub alone if she succeeds or not.

I wouldn't want to actively look for another sub or slave to my master. Ofcourse I would do so if he asked me to but I'd think most people would prefer a direct contact from him rather than me speaking for him. I don't mind telling him if I see a potential sub somewhere, though.

< Message edited by kuuntuli -- 1/20/2008 9:33:16 AM >

(in reply to venusinblu)
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RE: Is this common? - 1/20/2008 9:37:42 AM   
whipingherfeet


Posts: 202
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		who sorry now for not obeying 

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Is this common? - 1/20/2008 9:43:48 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Not sure if I would even be done laughing by 7:00. As for the silent treatment, well at least I could be sure that having to listen to his mindless dribble wouldn't sidetrack me while I packed. What an idiot.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Is this common? - 1/20/2008 9:49:31 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Guess I really didn't answer the question. Yes, this is common, it seems like there are several threads almost every week where some submissive says she is searching for another for her "Master". My question is, how do adult women with half a brain allow themselves to fall for that kind of shit?

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Is this common? - 1/20/2008 9:50:44 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Not sure if I would even be done laughing by 7:00. As for the silent treatment, well at least I could be sure that having to listen to his mindless dribble wouldn't sidetrack me while I packed. What an idiot.


What she said. Grrr.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Is this common? - 1/20/2008 9:50:48 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: venusinblu

color me surprised, but if my Master did something like this, he'd be someone elses 'problem' by 7.00.  In my humble opinion this is not Dom-ing, it's being an ass-hole. 

Mileage may vary, of course.





_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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(in reply to venusinblu)
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RE: Is this common? - 1/20/2008 9:51:06 AM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		The confusing part to me is the fact she is punished because other submissives declined this ~wonderful opportunity~ to chat with a lazy and clueless dominant.  How is it remotely realistic to be held accountable for what others do?  What lesson is learned from such a punishment? 

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Is this common? - 1/20/2008 10:06:16 AM   
Mirko


Posts: 17
Joined: 12/12/2006
Status: offline 		If he truly was such a "dom" and an "alpha male" of the group he would have no problem meeting other people. It's called being "Social", it'll help him out. 

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Is this common? - 1/20/2008 10:13:09 AM   
venusinblu


Posts: 165
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Guess I really didn't answer the question. Yes, this is common, it seems like there are several threads almost every week where some submissive says she is searching for another for her "Master". My question is, how do adult women with half a brain allow themselves to fall for that kind of shit?

i like that, "how do adult women with half a brain allow themselves to fall for that kind of shit?" .. unless you copyright it very quickly i am going along to CafePress and having t-shirts made with that very phrase on it! ... i can only conclude that some of these <cough> Doms have golden balls or something ... and willies of steel .... 

_____________________________

Louis: Do you think I would let them harm you?
Claudia: No you would not Louis. Danger holds you to me.
Louis: Love holds you to me.

~~~~~~

When the going gets tough, the tough get under the table . ... Edmund Blackadder

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Is this common? - 1/20/2008 10:18:52 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: venusinblu

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Guess I really didn't answer the question. Yes, this is common, it seems like there are several threads almost every week where some submissive says she is searching for another for her "Master". My question is, how do adult women with half a brain allow themselves to fall for that kind of shit?

i like that, "how do adult women with half a brain allow themselves to fall for that kind of shit?" .. unless you copyright it very quickly i am going along to CafePress and having t-shirts made with that very phrase on it! ... i can only conclude that some of these <cough> Doms have golden balls or something ... and willies of steel .... 


Nope. It's not that the Doms have anything particularly special at all. In fact, they are probably just average guys. It is that the women are just so desirous of a relationship that they will say or do anything to be in one. And, if they are new to the lifestyle, they may be naive, or rationalize, that they need to do these sorts of things in order to have this special relationship.

Hard to believe that adult women of any intelligence do this, but the proof is in threads like this and many others.

(in reply to venusinblu)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Is this common? - 1/20/2008 10:26:37 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Playing devil's advocate here...  is it that he told her to find a third that is troublesome, or that he's going to punish her? Or both?

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 20
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