VERY FIRST memory of indication

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MistressVnus -> VERY FIRST memory of indication (1/25/2008 6:40:44 AM)
Several years ago, I used to post on another forum. This question was posed then and after thinking about it for a while, I remembered something I had long forgotten. What an awakening for me. Although I already knew I was sadistic, I only had memories going back so far into my adult years of things that were indicators for me. Like loving to tie up my x-husband, and having a boyfriend who loved my feet, worshipping them, enjoying bondage scenes in some light porn......so on and so forth. Because of this, I just always figured that, perhaps, I had just "acquired" the taste for sadism/Dominance as the result of my adult experiences. But, when thinking about an answer for that threat, out of the blue came this blast from the past. And it all became clear. I remembered sitting and watching wrestling on a Saturday morning. I must have been about 11. Hell, I didn't even know what sexual arousal WAS, much less an orgasm. In any event, I remembered watching guy #1 take guy #2's legs (guy #2 being flat on his back and guy #1 on his knees beside him) under the knees with his arm and pulling his knees way up to his shoulders to pin them to the mat for a win. Guy #2 had on these tight little, swimsuit like drawers that made his genitals stick up into the air in a very pronounced and vulnerable fashion and he was wriggling and moaning in discomfort. I got WET, WET, WET and had my first experience of "sexual arousal" as a result of watching someone else be in a very vulnerable and uncomfortable position with limited mobility. I now know that was a VERY BIG indicator of my innate tendency toward sadism and Domination. So, I am posing this question in hopes of triggering something for someone else. I am SO GLAD I remembered this, it really answered a lot of questions for me and I hope this thread might have the same effect for another. What is your VERY FIRST memory of being turned on by something that could have been an indicator, for you, of things to come. Perhaps you have forgotten, as I did, so please take your time to think about this one. I can't wait to hear some of the answers.

Shawn1066 -> RE: VERY FIRST memory of indication (1/25/2008 6:56:18 AM)
First Indicator? I can't remember which came first. These both happened round the third grade/fourth, or so. The first one I recall happened as we were playing football on the playground and the girl on the other team tackled me. I was quite smitten for the rest of the day. The second one happened as I reading Greek Mythology and came upon the story of Herakles and Omphale, which has heavy BDSM overtones. I know, for a fact, that's what gave me my first arousal, at any chance. Now, these are my first memories...unless we talk about how my action figures related to one another.

MistressVnus -> RE: VERY FIRST memory of indication (1/25/2008 7:00:17 AM)
quote: Now, these are my first memories...unless we talk about how my action figures related to one another. ROFL!! Now that you mention it, I DO recall some very interesting scenarios with my Barbie and Ken.

slavetaboo -> RE: VERY FIRST memory of indication (1/25/2008 7:09:59 AM)
As a young girl I can remember being fascinated with football players. The men seemed so big and strong almost primitive in the force of the blow they would give to one another. Come on let's face it, they do wear those pads in all the right places. Before I even knew what masturbation was I can remember watching football with my daddy and being excited by what I was seeing then masturbating later using water from the tub faucet or by humping against the side of the bedroom door. I'm not sure this reveals anything about my submissive qualities but I'd chance to say it reveals something about my sexual urges and curiosity.

RoughFN -> RE: VERY FIRST memory of indication (1/25/2008 8:06:12 AM)
2nd grade is the first distinct one I have. I started cooking up some sort of elaborate plot to kidnap and tie up the girls in my class and force them to do my bidding. Being into science fiction and robots and stuff, I also had the additional plan of installing a chip in their brains so they'd have to listen to me. Then I'd also be able to send them out to grab more girls to induct, and so on. So the ranks would increase dramatically and I'd be the guy in the middle of it, calling all the shots. [:)] heh, not quite SSC yet. I always also find it interesting since I learned about sex when I was in 3rd grade. So it's not like I knew everything that I could do to all these girls I lined up, just that I'd be in charge and they'd do what I'd say.

pompeii -> RE: VERY FIRST memory of indication (1/25/2008 8:15:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RoughFN 2nd grade is the first distinct one I have. Wow. You started earlier than I. For me, my third-grade teacher had these wondrous spit curls and a short blue sixties dress half way up her thighs - always looking upon me with that sweet benevolence I never received at home. I wanted to spank her and, better yet, on cold days, I was dreaming of making her sit in the snow, her dress hiked up around her shoulders, that bare derriere melting the ice under my command ...

Kana -> RE: VERY FIRST memory of indication (1/25/2008 8:17:55 AM)
First memory time: I was seven, at my grandparents house watching some cheesy seventies made for TV movie. I have no idea what it was. They had a scene where a bound women walked the plank, one of those late seventies california blondes, long hair Farah style and it was the most erotic thing I had ever seen. Tied, helpless, at the mercy of the men around her. That picture stuck in my head like a spanner in the works. I had fantasies revolving around bondage and sex for years after that but felt awkward and dirty about it. Isn't it wild how we just tie sex into something like that so naturally? Then at 15 I was in the library and ran across Nancy Fridays "My Secret garden." Its a book about womens sexual fantasies and it had a chapter on BDSM. It blew me away. Not only did others have the same thoughts as I did, some were women! And they not only wanted it, but liked it. That changed my life. God, I love submissive women.

velvetears -> RE: VERY FIRST memory of indication (1/25/2008 8:25:09 AM)
Seeing my best friends who lived upstairs from me get the belt - i got aroused and wished it was me. i had a crush on a math teacher in middle school and i got in trouble for cheating on a test - i fantasized about him and all of a sudden like a bolt of lightening the image of me on a collar and leash tied to a tree in his yard came to my mind..... i felt a great deal of shame and pushed it out of my mind for many many years.

tulitukka -> RE: VERY FIRST memory of indication (1/25/2008 8:43:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressVnus So, I am posing this question in hopes of triggering something for someone else. I am SO GLAD I remembered this, it really answered a lot of questions for me and I hope this thread might have the same effect for another. What is your VERY FIRST memory of being turned on by something that could have been an indicator, for you, of things to come. Perhaps you have forgotten, as I did, so please take your time to think about this one. I remember telling stories to my friend of the girls in the neighborhood going to the nearby woods to dance and do all kinds of things. And me going there and taking charge of the situation, making them kiss me and all sorts of things. (That was pretty wild for the imagination of a 6-7 year old boy). I did not make the connection between that and my sexuality until I was well into my twenties.

Lashra -> RE: VERY FIRST memory of indication (1/25/2008 9:13:00 AM)
I remember tying up boys when I was very young maybe 7 or 8 with my jump rope, this got me excited. What got me even more excited was when we played cops n robbers and I had to interrogate them, tied up and with face smacking. Later I remembered seeing Wonder Woman with a man tied up in her golden lasso and that got me wet. As I got older these desires and fantasies got more intense and so at 19 I really started acting on them. ~Lashra

MistressVnus -> RE: VERY FIRST memory of indication (1/25/2008 10:50:03 AM)
quote: Then at 15 I was in the library and ran across Nancy Fridays "My Secret garden." Geesh! You just jogged another memory for me. I remember my mom getting me copies of "The Flame and the Flower," and "The Wolf and the Dove." Romance novels by Kathleen Woodiweiss. I think that was her name. I must have been about 12 or so. I remember both of them having a story plot that circled around a woman being "kidnapped" and held against her will. Eventually, being ravished and then falling madly I love with her captor and living happily ever after. Very strong bondage and enslavement scenarios without the sexually graphic descriptions. Yes...those were a HOT read for me. chuckle

MistressVnus -> RE: VERY FIRST memory of indication (1/25/2008 10:55:25 AM)
quote: I did not make the connection between that and my sexuality until I was well into my twenties. It is weird for the memories of our very youngest years to finally come back to us at a later time and help us to answer some of the questions about ourselves and the roots of our current propensities. I know it was like an ephiphany for me to remember something I had long forgotten.

MistressVnus -> RE: VERY FIRST memory of indication (1/25/2008 10:59:24 AM)
quote: not quite SSC yet. I have to chuckle at this because although I practice SSC....many of my fantasies SURELY are still NOT!! There are many new horror flicks coming out depicting abduction, sadism and such which is NOT consentual that I find extremely titillating. I recently found one called "Captivity". The opening scene was off the chart and I was glued to the couch for the rest of the movie.

Leatherist -> RE: VERY FIRST memory of indication (1/25/2008 11:00:20 AM)
Watching people get tied up on the old fess parker "daniel boone" series, and getting excited by the idea of doing it to someone else. Is 1964 early enough for ya?

MistressVnus -> RE: VERY FIRST memory of indication (1/25/2008 11:01:26 AM)
quote: As a young gir Can you remember about what age? Were you in puberty?

Bound2One -> RE: VERY FIRST memory of indication (1/25/2008 12:39:30 PM)
Rosemary Rogers is a romance writer who had a famous couple, Steve and Ginny, prominent in maybe three of her novels. I got my hands on them maybe when I was in 8th or 9th grade. They're all about how they hate each other, he spanks her, ties her up and then they love one another again. Abductions, bodice rippers... sigh. Loved them. I remember one particularly hot, hot, hot twenty page scene with her tied to the bed, him being really nasty to her and so wanting to be her!

MissIsis -> RE: VERY FIRST memory of indication (1/25/2008 12:47:20 PM)
OMG! Rosemary Rogers! I never run into anyone who knows of those books. They are some of my all time favorites. I snuck the books either from my mom or my aunt & I was hooked. She is one of my favorite writers, & oh my goodness, the fantasies they evoked inside of me. I think I might need to get some new copies from the local used bookstore. They are very, very hot.

Tigrita -> RE: VERY FIRST memory of indication (1/25/2008 12:50:11 PM)
This is a fun question. I like trying to anlalyze the roots of my proclivities, but I've never really been able to go back to before puberty the way a lot of people can about their fetishes. I keep discovering new things I enjoy that surprise me, so I feel like a lot of those 'first moments' have come later in my life. In response to your question, I'm trying to think as far back as I can, to what my reall basis in this stuff is, and what made it first apparent. I think primal sexuality is what really drives me at the heart of everything. I'm remembering a trip to the aquarium when I was young, probably 10 or 11, and seeing otters going at it. Pretty intense stuff. I'd seen love scenes in movies etc., but they didn't have the effect on me that this agressive, even violent animal scene did. Now, I'm not into beastiality, but just the primal agression that is demonstrated by animals really did something to me. There is another point, later, that made me realize this in the oposite way. My first boyfriend was very gentle and coddling, always asking how I wanted it, if I was okay, if he was doing it right... and it made me totally, completely uncomfortable. That is part of why I knew I needed a dominant man in order to feel sexually fulfilled.

Bound2One -> RE: VERY FIRST memory of indication (1/25/2008 12:53:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissIsis OMG! Rosemary Rogers! I never run into anyone who knows of those books. They are some of my all time favorites. I snuck the books either from my mom or my aunt & I was hooked. She is one of my favorite writers, & oh my goodness, the fantasies they evoked inside of me. I think I might need to get some new copies from the local used bookstore. They are very, very hot. [:)] Aren't they, though? I think I still have some sitting on my bookshelves. I can never seem to bear tossing them when spring-cleaning. Check on ebay - you may be able to get a series there inexpensively.

Tigrita -> RE: VERY FIRST memory of indication (1/25/2008 1:04:20 PM)
Oh, another one... I remember watching a TV show in my early teens, it was Lois and Clark actually, and Lex was getting totally Domly on Lois. He had her in a dungeon-type lair, and had her just standing in the middle, and he was just circling her slowly, inspecting her, tormenting her verbally, touching her delicately and suggestively but not crudely (the sexual tension being entirely mental)... his composure, restraint and command of everything about her and the situation; her torment, the tension and shame, fighting to retain her pride while being made so vulnerable... so fucking hot!

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