RE: Vanilla Extract

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Vanilla Extract

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Vanilla Extract

Page: << < prev 2 3 4 [5] 6 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Vanilla Extract - 1/29/2008 5:23:22 PM

OedipusRexIt

Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline

Ahh... I see we've reached that delightful, oft-anticipated portion in the life and death of a thread, wherein we lay bare the OP's entire life.

We will be able to divine his complete psyche, financial statement, personal habits, politics, views on disco (still dead, along with Elvis, btw) and perhaps even the small nature of his..... gasp! All of this, from mere words on a page. My person opinion is, he's not a real Dom (it's getting to where I like to be the first one to accuse me of that, in any given thread).

Seriously, analyze away! It really is the funniest part, for me. So simple, so obvious, so.... what.

I am such an open book (the pop-up kind!). Read me. Just go easy on the Braille, willya. Too bumpy!

_____________________________

"My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die..."

(in reply to giveeverything)

Post #: 81

RE: Vanilla Extract - 1/29/2008 6:25:17 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OedipusRexIt

Ahh... I see we've reached that delightful, oft-anticipated portion in the life and death of a thread, wherein we lay bare the OP's entire life.

We will be able to divine his complete psyche, financial statement, personal habits, politics, views on disco (still dead, along with Elvis, btw) and perhaps even the small nature of his..... gasp! All of this, from mere words on a page. My person opinion is, he's not a real Dom (it's getting to where I like to be the first one to accuse me of that, in any given thread).

Seriously, analyze away! It really is the funniest part, for me. So simple, so obvious, so.... what.

I am such an open book (the pop-up kind!). Read me. Just go easy on the Braille, willya. Too bumpy!

Okay, I'll bite...If not tying to draw some attention to your plight then why post? Is it that you think that you are the first to experience difficulty in finding the perfect mate?

You have a good sense of humor which is a definite plus....It's a shame you haven't led with it.

Fuck! This sucks. Here we are on a bdsm website. Yet what we seek doesn't always seem to parallel the definition of the perfect submissive woman. Someone strong, cool, intelligent, and kinky. It really does suck...But I think that the woman that is often sought does not respond well to bullshit. I have always enjoyed those, male or female, that no matter the success or the accomplishments that have come their way have still manged to not take themselves so seriously...a little self deprication goes a long way....On this site where men are supposed to be strong and perfect it might seem contrary...I still think it is the way to go.

Your strengths are not in your financial capabilities....If they are, then you have met the type of women that you will be dealing with for the rest of your life. And that would really suck some ass.

I'm done with this....Braniac, the papers are in the mail....Please don't draw this thing out. It has been nice but are mutual adoration of anal is probably not enough to make this relationship last for the long run. I'm a better person for having met you...But you will be better off without me. Our love, life and experiences will not be easily replaced. I imagine that all of the twenty year old pussy on the planet would fail to get you off of my mind...But I think I owe it to myself to give it an honest attempt. You will not be forgotten...Excuse me....My new girlfriend Bianca loves to dance. She wants to know if I have some Justin in "da house?"...I told her My dick is barely "Justin" her ass. For now, that will have to suffice. You should always know and remember that you were loved.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 1/29/2008 6:28:38 PM >

_____________________________

(in reply to OedipusRexIt)

Post #: 82

RE: Vanilla Extract - 1/29/2008 8:07:55 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Seriously, analyze away! It really is the funniest part, for me. So simple, so obvious, so.... what.

Arm-chair psychoanalysis is a really bad habit of mine. I try very hard to not indulge in it. When I feel it coming on I have to sit on my hands……….which leads to another bad habit of mine. ~grins~

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to OedipusRexIt)

Post #: 83

RE: Vanilla Extract - 1/29/2008 8:41:05 PM

Emperor1956

Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

FR:

quote:

Domiguy: I take back my apology to the op...His post although possibly honest...(I imagine he has had trouble finding a partner) is nothing more than a whine

JEEEZUS. It took you 82 posts to figure that out? I think Tom Leher said it best, back in 1965 "People are always complaining to day that they can't communicate. Parents can't talk to their children, children can't talk to their parents, married people can't talk to eachother. I think that if a person can't communicate, the least he can do is just shut up!"

E.

(No, I'm not withdrawing from any chemicals. Just naturally bitchy I guess.)

< Message edited by Emperor1956 -- 1/29/2008 8:45:00 PM >

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 84

RE: Vanilla Extract - 1/29/2008 9:21:10 PM

LadyLolly

Posts: 140
Joined: 5/21/2005
Status: offline

All that was offfered was my impression gained from his profile as written and questions as to what he wanted and desired to project.   Since his sought after type, what/who he is searching for is not the "type" that approaches him based on the profile, the thought was it might help to look at it through a new set of objective eyes. Apparently I'm far from the only person that came to this conclusion. These are thoughts and suggestions offered in response to his stated difficulty with the objective of attempting to be helpful. He can do what he wants with whats offered up just like anyone else. Why some insist on rushing to his defense all hateful like (not saying you yourself were hateful, but some) in response to what has been offered by myself or others when I've seen no indication that he has issue with what's being offered, nor as a big boy has he asked or needed others to break out the claws in his "defense".   He can do what he wants with whats offered up just like anyone else. If it strikes a chord with him, he might consider trying it on, if not, into the round file.

I asked since he stated hes's torn by finding parts of what he's looking for in two different world - that there might be a blended option available to him - a bridge that satisfies both his needs. His interests and preferences as stated, suggested this might be a possibility - for him. Nothing stated or implied by him suggested he is an OVERTLY DOMLY DOM, with an extensively controling manner that would off-put the type of vanilla female suggested.  If this is an incorrect conclusion being drawn, then the profile as written, in my opinion, fails to project that facet of himself.   My overall comment was that the profile as written really didn't seem to project a flavor of who he was, factually and pretty specific on a very few points.

I specifically stated I was not questioning his self identification as a dominant - the but was directed to my take on the feel of the profile as well as what was stated in relation to his OP..

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 85

RE: Vanilla Extract - 1/29/2008 9:28:18 PM

LadyLolly

Posts: 140
Joined: 5/21/2005
Status: offline

Pot calling the kettle black?
He asked, we offered, get over it.

(in reply to TreasureKY)

Post #: 86

RE: Vanilla Extract - 1/29/2008 10:41:26 PM

shellzbythesea

Posts: 120
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OedipusRexIt

I've been putting myself on the bench a lot these days, as bdsm compatiblity eludes me. As a result, I've allowed vanilla relationships to arise and build, instead of relying on bdsm as a conduit to my relationships...

My issue seems to be composed of two elements:

No one available to me has lit my Dominant spark. Sure, I can find someone eager to submit... but if I don't feel it, then it's just work, just checking the box... I'm just not into going through the motions.

In the absence of a spark to light my fire, I still crave intmacy. As a result of this natural craving, friendships, long associations, have drifted into the realm of relationships, without the connection of bdsm so necessary... A pattern of one (bdsm = empty connection) or the other (vanilla intimacy = lukewarmth) has emerged.

... so, I find myself in the rare position of vacillation (not a petroleum jelly deriviative, I assure you) as to whether I've been barking up the wrong tree. Only, which is the wrong one? Or is it all just a forest?

i've now read about 80% of this thread and was a little surprised to see how many of us are in this situation.

i can totally understand not wanting to go any further with the "(vanilla intimacy = lukewarmth)" option. i've steered clear of those lately, myself. But what would You do if You found a vanilla option that wasn't lukewarm..., they simply weren't into D/s? Meaning, there was/is a total spark/chemistry? Could you give up the D/s in that case?

i'm eager to see more replies...and yes, i know we've all had this conversation before.

(in reply to OedipusRexIt)

Post #: 87

RE: Vanilla Extract - 1/30/2008 12:19:34 PM

brainiacsub

Posts: 1209
Joined: 11/11/2007
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Okay, I'll bite...If not tying to draw some attention to your plight then why post? Is it that you think that you are the first to experience difficulty in finding the perfect mate?

You have a good sense of humor which is a definite plus....It's a shame you haven't led with it.

Fuck! This sucks. Here we are on a bdsm website. Yet what we seek doesn't always seem to parallel the definition of the perfect submissive woman. Someone strong, cool, intelligent, and kinky. It really does suck...But I think that the woman that is often sought does not respond well to bullshit. I have always enjoyed those, male or female, that no matter the success or the accomplishments that have come their way have still manged to not take themselves so seriously...a little self deprication goes a long way....On this site where men are supposed to be strong and perfect it might seem contrary...I still think it is the way to go.

Your strengths are not in your financial capabilities....If they are, then you have met the type of women that you will be dealing with for the rest of your life. And that would really suck some ass.

I'm done with this....Braniac, the papers are in the mail....Please don't draw this thing out. It has been nice but are mutual adoration of anal is probably not enough to make this relationship last for the long run. I'm a better person for having met you...But you will be better off without me. Our love, life and experiences will not be easily replaced. I imagine that all of the twenty year old pussy on the planet would fail to get you off of my mind...But I think I owe it to myself to give it an honest attempt. You will not be forgotten...Excuse me....My new girlfriend Bianca loves to dance. She wants to know if I have some Justin in "da house?"...I told her My dick is barely "Justin" her ass. For now, that will have to suffice. You should always know and remember that you were loved.

No...wait...I changed my mind about the divorce (well, actually I meant to respond to your ultimatum message last night but got sidetracked...anyway, I'm sure you'd prefer that I beg for forgiveness than make excuses)

Seriously though...is this not a difference in perspective rather than opinion? I don't necessarily disagree with you that we should all take personal responsibility for our failures and successes when it come to relationships. You did make some good points, but I think you and others read too much in to the OP. Where you saw him as whining and complaining about 'nobody being good enough', I saw him as someone venting frustrations about a very imperfect system designed to bring likeminded people together. This whole online dating thing can be treacherous, for the best and worst of us. Who among us have not felt his frustrations? He came to the boards because this is where people come to vent and find acceptance, advice, and the occasional constructive criticism among friends (or at least people who will tolerate us).

Kiss and make up now?

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 88

RE: Vanilla Extract - 1/30/2008 2:58:08 PM

RipTyed

Posts: 18
Joined: 1/3/2008
From: Rhode Island
Status: offline

EponasChylde - The intensely detailed analysis of your inner most secret and not so private relational and sexual and pseudo psychological flames and desires especially the exacting specifications for a genetically, fiscally and even anatomically correct
homo sapian male who could possibly exceed the gravitational limitations of the planet and exceed a deviation away from the average standard issue generic humanoid from the LordandMasterOTheOne and WE are so glad you are having FUN in the meantime oh I am so bored

BUT You truly may have defined the basic levels of BDSM as we know it in the most accurate fashion ever before seen on the 'net! I commend you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: If his idea of a good sex life is doing it once a week in the dark, missionary style, then I'm not interested.

Vanilla

quote:

Someone who's adventurous, open-minded, and seems willing to try new things. Maybe he's willing to tie me up with fuzzy handcuffs and spank my ass but not into more severe things.

Naughty?

quote:

King-Kong-Uber-Dom willing to tie me up with chains, whip me until I bleed, call me a whore, then piss on me.

Depraved.

Thank you for your contibution to our joysome community!!!

( I guess I won't call you tonight )

my score = level 3

(in reply to EponasChylde)

Post #: 89

RE: Vanilla Extract - 1/30/2008 3:02:36 PM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline

quote:

a little self deprication goes a long way

Ahhhhhhhhhhh, I finally get to actually "read" one of your posts. And, I find you very funny, although I would hate to be the brunt of your humor.
In that spirit, do you mind if I watch while you depricate on yourself?
Awwwwwww, c'mon. THAT was FUNNY!!
It's nice to finally (cyber) meet the man that the fuss is all about. In all sincerity.

_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 90

RE: Vanilla Extract - 1/30/2008 3:10:03 PM

OedipusRexIt

Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline

Seems the thread is about gone.

DG.... man... I think you're funny, if I react to you it all. No apologies to me, really, and be who you are.

Not sure who said it was a whine. Maybe it is. Got something out of it, anyway. And look, you did too - you got the chance to call me a whiner. See, everyone wins!

Anyway, thanks for those whose input came from above the waist, and the humor that came from below. This thread seems dead.

_____________________________

"My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die..."

(in reply to MistressVnus)

Post #: 91

RE: Vanilla Extract - 1/30/2008 5:41:02 PM

Marsh

Posts: 17
Joined: 12/27/2007
Status: offline

Life and living presents the path to euphoria ecstasy and rapture, one does not have to hear the sound of one hand clapping or spend endless hours contemplating the complexities of simplicity to find that path begins and ends in the self. When you are ready, what you need will appear and when you are ready, you will have the wisdom to recognize it.

(in reply to LadyLolly)

Post #: 92

RE: Vanilla Extract - 1/30/2008 6:38:15 PM

Gleegal67

Posts: 218
Joined: 6/18/2007
From: Phoenix
Status: offline

You're preachin' to the choir on this subject!

It is only within the last year that I have concluded that my life must include bdsm, with no exceptions.

It can be one who embraces and has knowledge in the bdsm arena, or a vanilla who is willing to learn - either way, bdsm is mandatory in a relationship with me. Talk about the feeling of freedom and inner peace when I finally figured it out!

My pros/cons lists were long and very detailed...Pros-Bdsm Relationship/Cons-Vanilla Relationship...the pros won out by a landslide! It made a difference when I actually read it in black and white. I took my time with the list also, took me about 3 months of processing, making sure I was being absolutely honest with myself and that I wasn't adding things to the list in the heat of the moment.

I agree with MistressVnus in regards to how writing in the forums is a fabulous way of figuring things out...this "co-journaling" is pretty darn nifty in my book!

(in reply to DisenchantedLife)

Post #: 93

RE: Vanilla Extract - 1/30/2008 10:14:19 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

For what it's worth, I think DomiGuy is essentially correct. Between here and Alt, I've met slightly over one woman a month since I joined. They've been between the ages of 25 and 42. One was a secretary, one was a millionaire, and everyone else was financially in between. Every single one of them looked like their pic, their weight was what they said on their profile, no evidence of lying of any sort. Most were highly attractive by "societal standards" and all of them interested me. Sometimes we played. In some cases we'll play again. I'm still looking for the kinky love of my life.

OedipusRex, the real red flag on your profile is that you have a history of being inundated by fakers and wannabes. How on earth is this possible if you are 48 years old? You really have so little understanding of human interaction that you have no filter? Either (1) you are absolutely, completely, utterly clueless about women, or (2) you blame the women you met who didn't like you, instead of dealing with how to improve yourself -- which was Domiguy's point.

I don't give a crap about psychoanalysing you. But anyone who tells me it's impossible to meet serious women online is either lying to me or to himself. Everyone I've met wants a relationship, and there's lots of ladies I'm not pursuing because I'm not willing to talk seriously with more than one woman at a time.

Something's wrong with what *you* are doing.

(in reply to Gleegal67)

Post #: 94

RE: Vanilla Extract - 1/31/2008 8:39:18 AM

OedipusRexIt

Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline

Ya know. Just because I invited comment, does not mean I think all comments are valid.

RM, you're suffering from the typical simplistic approach, coupled with the usual know-it-all attitude. So, your experience is the archetype, and all others must mirror it. Please re-consider the arrogance and ignorance of your statements. Do yourself a favor.

I really don't think I ever said it was impossible. Try to recognize that all life isn't absolutes, black and white, all or nothing, always nor never....

...or don't.

So, you're meeting fabulous women at the rate of one per month? Does that mean they're rejecting you at the same, or is it a higher, rate?

_____________________________

"My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die..."

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 95

RE: Vanilla Extract - 1/31/2008 10:49:28 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

hey Rex, good to see you posting again...you have mail....and its rather long...gotta run...Amy

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to OedipusRexIt)

Post #: 96

RE: Vanilla Extract - 1/31/2008 11:44:24 AM

MasterWilliam55

Posts: 361
Joined: 1/27/2006
Status: offline

I don't believe anyone is perfect out-of-the-gate. Almost any two people with some commonality can build a relationship. Sometimes those relationships end in friendship, sometimes casual play partners and sometimes a life committtment. I stopped overthinking this years ago. As a result I've met some pretty amazing people. Some were closer to my needs then others., and some were not. In some cases, I did not meet their needs. But it's all been good. the passion and the heartaches. Out of it I ended up with three long term subs. One before the internet and two since these sites got going and many casual between these. I'm not sitting around thumping my stump waiting for ms right. I'm out there looking. talking, dating and having a god time. Sooner or later someone special for me as I will be for her, will once again drop into my life. I'm living my life and having fun.

As for insincerity on these sites. I've run across very little. I seldom visit vanilla sites so can't speak of them, but kink sites have been good to me for the most part. Yep I'm a "my glass is half full" kind of guy.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 97

RE: Vanilla Extract - 1/31/2008 1:20:28 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

i think you may have blocked me, but i put a lot of heart felt thought into this email and i wanted to make sure you had the opportunity to read it.

so here it is edited for public viewing

hi, good to see you posting again.

can i be frank? you may have a blind spot that is preventing you from the happiness you seek, and having experienced it first hand, i am in a unique position to show it to you.

i myself used to repeat the refrain : "no one in tiny Maui is into bdsm", "no one will play at my level", "i am just going to have to settle".

well i will share with you some details if you need me to, but long story short something happened that made me realize i was settling for being a victim of circumstance.

you see in Maui there was no bdsm scene just a few fractured people here and there that ill admit i judged as not having much experience and could not hold a candle to my leather family back on the main land. How limiting my thinking was.....thoguhts create actions, actions create results...and with thoughts like those, you can see my results were SUCKING!

when i say fractured i refer to in fighting and splitting in to factions and personality clashes...this went on for about a year, when after one very transformative night i realised i could make a the community i craved so badly... myself ...it was not going to magically apear, but i knew i can do anything i set my mind to.

i went to the fractured parties and mediated compromises, we had our first leather family meeting and discussed the details of this new community, then we have had some wonderful play parties, and i collard the most amazing boy.

but that is not all... soon i was getting invitations from other islands to go to parties there, and teach classes, i took on my other boi, and we are falling deeply in love...

and as crazy as it seems i also found my self helplessly at the feet of a man i admire so very much, for both courage, knowledge and mysticism, some one who i love to serve, and who has made me His.

I am the happiest i have ever been in my life: i love my boi, she gives me so much devotion and trust, i love my boy, he is so tender and takes good care of me, i love the new family, and i love the fulfilment i have inside.....and the cake topper is that i love shibari and now have an owner that is world renoun for his mastery of that art. and i did it all from a tiny island in the middle of the ocean. .

thing is i did NOT settle, i stayed worthy of my masturbations and fantasies.

now lets talk gently and lovingly about you, you seemed like a good candidate for my submission, i liked that you were successful, like me, and me supporting you would never be an issue, i liked that like me, you loved to kayak, i liked that you had big dreams to help people and saw yourself in a role of doing the world good.

what i did not like as i got to know you was that most of the world stuff seemed like just talk, and i caught you in deception a few times that made me go hmmmm.....also i felt a big poor me thing from you that is hard to want to serve.

i knew you were missing the boat with me, and i wanted to show you that but you had already made up your mind..and i think that is a flaw in your nature...and i know it was a flaw in mine too, and thank god i shifted it because the life i live right now is so wonderfully fulfilling and yummy.

i am doing a lot of life coaching for lifestyle folks for a few ls presenters and a few folks here on CM, i help people see what is standing in the way of getting what they really want and how to make their wildest dreams come true. I would be willing to work with you, and show you how you can step into your greatness and have the exact life you deserve and desire....it will take some hard work, and i am not cheap, but if you want me to work with you, i would be happy to do that.
i wish you the very best ....Amy

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to MasterWilliam55)

Post #: 98

RE: Vanilla Extract - 1/31/2008 2:05:44 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OedipusRexIt
RM, you're suffering from the typical simplistic approach, coupled with the usual know-it-all attitude.

Please re-consider the arrogance and ignorance of your statements. Do yourself a favor.

So, you're meeting fabulous women at the rate of one per month? Does that mean they're rejecting you at the same, or is it a higher, rate?

Specific examples, unfortunately, of a mean streak. My life priority is to improve myself and the world around me. Defending myself is way down on the priority list. I'm not asking anyone else to be "like me." However, if someone shouts "fake" and "liar" often enough, it's their own pants that might be on fire.

(in reply to OedipusRexIt)

Post #: 99

RE: Vanilla Extract - 1/31/2008 3:21:17 PM

petpete

Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

Your not alone on this ORIt. Relationships have always been a puzzle for humans. my personal thoughts is that W/we will never find perfection cause simply W/we are not perfect as a race it self. i think that different people come with good and bad. i suppose i shouldn't call that good and bad cause for some the good may look bad and for others the bad may look good. The importance of the whole relationship goal whatever that is to find compatible characteristics in another that can make us live together and enjoy each other's company. i will agree with PN reply to You about the different fruits that we come across and can also enjoy the taste of. Some of us are and can be more demanding in our relationships and others are easier and just slip into. Its natures balance to have us like that. Sometimes we try to blame conditions, situations and the other side, but it has nothing to do with all that. It has to do with our own selves. We will always try to find excuses about our failure to find compatibility cause we wont want to feel that we where responsible for not making it happen. Take it easy enjoy what's around You cause life is too short and definetly not worth wasting away being down and in a bad mood. Relationships are the most common reason of depression and making us lose track of real life.

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!

(in reply to OedipusRexIt)

Post #: 100

Page: << < prev 2 3 4 [5] 6 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Vanilla Extract

Page: << < prev 2 3 4 [5] 6 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.090