LadyNTrainer
Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: aidan
If my affection and submission and caring can only be measured monetarily, than it's going to come up damn short. If, say, a mushy-but-well-intentioned poem, or a book suggestion, or a home cooked meal, or a picture I took on the way to work because I thought they might think it was pretty is the rubric...Then there's a lot to offer.
That desire to be genuinely affectionate and submissive and offer things that are meaningful and sincere puts you in the category of personal play partner or friend where money isn't required for a domme to want to spend time with you. But keep in mind that the vast majority of do-me 'submissive' men aren't interested in cooking me a meal, or writing me a poem, or taking an interesting or nice (non kinky) picture to show me. They just want their kinks catered to in the here-and-now. Affection, submission, friendship and even basic human courtesy is not really on the agenda. Ergo, it is only going to be a fair exchange if they pay to play. Those guys are firmly in the "client" category, which means I will NOT be playing with them unless they are paying me. I'm not into being used as the drive-through McDomme's. But whether someone is a client or a potential friend and play partner is a choice that they make themselves.
Treat a domme like a drive-through and you're gonna have to play to play. Ain't no fair otherwise; she doesn't exist for your personal pleasure. If you aren't willing to be considerate of your domme partner - REALLY considerate, not assaulting random strangers with offers to lick her pussy for hours "for her pleasure" - then she has no reason to want to be with you. Some dommes will make a trade of money for time and energy, and for the folks who can't or don't want to learn social skills, that's the only fair trade you have left if you truly don't give a shit who she is or what she's thinking and feeling. Sadly, that's a pretty high percentage.
Think of a domme as a human being, a treasured friend, a companion, someone whose thoughts and feelings truly matter to you, and you won't need to pay a pro even if a lady you're interested in happens to be one. Most of the pro dommes I know (as opposed to the online scammers) also have personal partners in their lives, and the things you've mentioned are a pretty damn good filter. It's when someone lacks the willingness to do these things that cash is required as their end of the deal.
Yes, it's a shallow transaction. It's not love, and it's not ownership. It's just simple play for pay. At its best, pro domming is the fair exchange of time and energy and skill for money in a way that both parties walk away from happy and satisfied. But sometimes, that really is enough. And sometimes, it's all there is. Most often, it's all that there can be, at least until the would-be submissive learns and grows enough to be ready for an actual two way relationship with another human being. You're already there, so it probably looks pretty easy and obvious from your perspective. Unfortunately, it's not that way for everyone.
_____________________________
Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.
|
RE: Rant by a prodomme... - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread