Your physical appearance (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

breatheasone -> Your physical appearance (1/29/2008 6:05:38 PM)

Say you are in a LTR...and you both love each other. Would it bother you to find out that your partner loved you in spite of your physical appearance? When you thought they liked how you looked?



Muttling -> RE: Your physical appearance (1/29/2008 6:12:22 PM)

Actually, the exact opposite would be true.


Looks are quite fleeting.   Just think of the trauma of being disfigured in a car accident and then having your LTR say he/she is now less interested in you because of your appearance.


I want to look appealing to my partner and I want to be physically attractive to them, but I don't want the relationship to hinge upon that.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Your physical appearance (1/29/2008 6:14:01 PM)

Yes- because it would mean somewhere along the line that my judgement and observation process regarding them was flawed and I DO enjoy them enjoying me physically and finding me attractive.



CuriousLord -> RE: Your physical appearance (1/29/2008 6:19:14 PM)

It's a mixed bag.  In one light, you have to live with knowing that you lack a commonly valued quality in your partner's eyes.  In another, you know that your partner loves your other characteristics.  Overall, one might feel loved but patronized with some new insecurity.



xxblushesxx -> RE: Your physical appearance (1/29/2008 6:24:46 PM)

I would be devastated.
(((hugs)))



Level -> RE: Your physical appearance (1/29/2008 6:26:47 PM)

Yes, it would bother me, to a degree. But knowing they loved me, that would be the most important thing.



breatheasone -> RE: Your physical appearance (1/29/2008 6:27:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Muttling

Actually, the exact opposite would be true.


Looks are quite fleeting.   Just think of the trauma of being disfigured in a car accident and then having your LTR say he/she is now less interested in you because of your appearance.


I want to look appealing to my partner and I want to be physically attractive to them, but I don't want the relationship to hinge upon that.

I hear you...but the thing is...the person IS less interested sexually, but not emotionally.



lauren0221 -> RE: Your physical appearance (1/29/2008 6:32:13 PM)

It would bother me. Insides are the most important thing of course, but i would feel bad if I was physically unappealing to my partner.

In my experience, when I love someone - they look good to me. I seem to associate the caring with the looking good to them.

Edited to add - I also would hope my relationship would be strong enough to survive should there be an accident, or something like that. I saw a show on injured veterans, and the  soldier had been very handsome, and then got his face basically blown off. His wife said that after the first shock, she doesn't even notice any more. That is love, IMHO:)



MissMagnolia -> RE: Your physical appearance (1/29/2008 6:32:32 PM)

For a woman, sexy lingerie. It works every time, no matter what you look like. Men especially are rigged up mentally to see the "good bits" on a womans body. Women tend to focus on the bad bits.

If it's a man who is less sexually appealing to a woman, blindfolds are the way to go.



littlebitxxx -> RE: Your physical appearance (1/29/2008 6:32:35 PM)

I agree with LA, CL and blushes.  It would be devastating at first, feeling almost like he lied to me from the beginning.  Then would come the not knowing what to trust and what not, or the feeling of inadequacy and not being good enough.  Allowed to go on, it would probably turn into a major issue.  Yeah, he loves me for all the other stuff....but....damn....whine....snivel....I wanna be considered pretty too.  And then the waiting for the other shoe to drop...is he gonna leave me for someone he finds attractive?  Or stop loving me because I'm not?

Ooh, touchy subject here, breatheasone.  But thank you for it anyway.  I can imagine there's all kinds of feelings and fears going on all over the place with no outlet.



quick -> RE: Your physical appearance (1/29/2008 6:33:25 PM)

Quick answer - Yes it would bother me if I had been told otherwise.



juliaoceania -> RE: Your physical appearance (1/29/2008 6:35:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Say you are in a LTR...and you both love each other. Would it bother you to find out that your partner loved you in spite of your physical appearance? When you thought they liked how you looked?


Don't get me wrong, my Daddy is attracted to my appearance. I am an attractive sort of woman... and I know it isn't humble to say that, but I am just being honest here. Still, I am not his "ideal". He likes short women, I am very tall. He prefers small busted women, I am rather large busted. He likes women with dancer's bodies... I have rather wide hips, small waist, on long legs. Now he thinks my figure is rather nice... he thinks I am lovely. He loves my long legs. He even has come to adore my "fun pillows" (breasts). Still I am not his ideal body wise. Yeah, it makes me wish I could morph my body, but hey, I can't.

He loves my hair, my blue eyes. He loves fair-haired blue eyed Celtic descended/Northern European descended coloring and bone structure... I have that bone structure facially. And my hair borders red/blonde. And I wear it long enough for hair bondage... which he enjoys.

He has never been with a woman who can spark his intellect the way I do... I am irreplaceable when it comes to that. I am also very physically fit and active. I can keep up with him, and he has never had anyone else in his life who could. I am not on pain medication, I have nothing that impacts my ability to hike every mountain with him. I hope it stays that way for at least another 40 years[:D]

So add it all together, I do not believe he is with me inspite of my appearance. The day we met, the first time he saw me naked, I saw the look in his eyes... He definitely likes the way I look... but all the same I am not his "ideal"...



kittensmailbox -> RE: Your physical appearance (1/29/2008 6:37:05 PM)

yes, i think it would bother me... If i knew, then i would take the measures that were needed to be even better for my partner...



domiguy -> RE: Your physical appearance (1/29/2008 6:37:42 PM)

Being that I am considered to be eye candy in certain parts of the globe...Devastation is an accurate description of how I would feel. If someone tried to explain that they actually valued my personality over my appearance I couln't stay with them.

How could I begin to respect a woman with such poor taste?

What the fuck is wrong with you?...You like me for me? Ge the fuck out of my sight.



creatrix -> RE: Your physical appearance (1/29/2008 6:37:53 PM)

I don't know if I am understanding the statement. I reread it several times... but if it is I think it may be, then I guess I would be somewhat miffed that my physical appearance was not addressed in the begining of the relationship... I mean, I may like a fella, but if he doesn't even take care of his hair or teeth... or always wears old ratty clothes, I personally don't want to be seen with him let alone have any kind of sex with him... physical appearance is a very strong factor with me... a confident and respectful personality is next and then sexual prowess... you put those together and fireworks happen! ***KA -- BOOM**

I have had a man tell me they loved me for the person I was inside and not for my beauty, even though they thought I was very beautiful... If this is what the person means, then perhaps you should believe more in yourself and what you feel about yourself. A healthy sub is not inferior about herself... quite the opposite... she must be confident knowing that if Master/Dom chose her... s/he needs to remember s/he has the choice to serve/sub and that choice is an honor from a slave/sub to do so... BUT if a sub/slave doesn't feel the confidence... how can s/he serve well?  As a sub, I am confident that I can please a man... confident that I can be all things for all reasons and that my choice to do so is the biggest turnon not only for me but for the One I serve.

I am not the slimmest, not the prettiest nor am I perfect, but I know that I am a desirable and sexy woman... I have a great personality, a good spiritually grounded nature and I am worthy and deserving of all things wonderful... If I see something that needs to change about myself... I must make the decision to change it... not anyone else... I may may listen to suggestions, but I must make the decision to change for myself ultimately. If you feel you need to change something or if he thinks you need to change... talk about it and see what comes from it... Communication, trust and honesty are VERY important in any relationship... talk to him about how you feel if you are feeling miffed... talk about how it makes you fell... ask questions...

and, remember, you are as human as your Dom...





Level -> RE: Your physical appearance (1/29/2008 6:39:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

For a woman, sexy lingerie. It works every time, no matter what you look like. Men especially are rigged up mentally to see the "good bits" on a womans body.


Gotta disagree my friend. I have a co-worker, there is no lingerie that would help....... of course, that's all subjective. She has a b/f that loves and lusts for her.
 
Not sure when he fell and hit his head..... [8|]



beargonewild -> RE: Your physical appearance (1/29/2008 6:40:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Say you are in a LTR...and you both love each other. Would it bother you to find out that your partner loved you in spite of your physical appearance? When you thought they liked how you looked?


I think it would be quite a shock to realize that my assumption was wrong regarding my SO. It would seem to me that once seeing that my SO had been looking past my physical appearance and loved me in the entirety To me that would bring a complete new depth and meaning to our relationship and possibly strengthen the bond between us.



MissMagnolia -> RE: Your physical appearance (1/29/2008 6:40:58 PM)

PPPFFTTT Level. I aint sending you no noodie pics then........................................[sm=lol.gif]



GreedyTop -> RE: Your physical appearance (1/29/2008 6:44:03 PM)

To me, the initial attraction was based on physical appearance.  The more we learn of one another, the more attractive we become to each other, so to me he is the single hottest man on earth. If he suddenly said to me that my physical appearance no longer appealed to him, my first thought would be that some other aspect of me has lost appeal.  It's all part and parcel, to me.

Um, did that make sense?



CalifChick -> RE: Your physical appearance (1/29/2008 6:45:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

PPPFFTTT Level. I aint sending you no noodie pics then........................................[sm=lol.gif]


I was thinking the exact same thing, Miss M.  I think Level just cut off any possibility of any nudie pics from any person here.  Well, Jeff might send one, but you know how he is.

Cali



Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125