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RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/2/2008 5:39:16 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx
I'd listen more carefully to you, to Kyra, to LA to...others who are IN long term relationships who have weathered the storms of adversity, and even the calm of mediocrity, rather than those who are still in their own little dream world.


Hi Christina,

I can't tell you how many times in the last couple of months that I have started posts only to cancel them because I thought it was way too sappy or who really wants to hear about me moving in again?!  In fact, just about 30 minutes ago, I started a post to this thread and cancelled it for that reason and then I read this... lol  Thank you.

I try very hard not to give the illusion that our relationship is flawless and I was a little floored yesterday with the praise from another poster about their perception of our relationship.  We make mistakes, screw up, piss each other off, get annoyed, hurt each other and yet we also love and care for each other.  Our relationship is good not because it is flawless, but because even when we make mistakes, we work together to overcome them rather than working against each other.

Hopefully, what we post will help someone somewhere find a way to deal with an issue they face.  Of course, I am also sure that there are some sitting in the background waiting to see our relationship fall apart. 

Thank you for the thread.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/2/2008 6:32:47 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
I am also sure that there are some sitting in the background waiting to see our relationship fall apart. 

I certainly hope not.  Your posts are a pleasure to read.

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/2/2008 6:34:07 PM   
petpete


Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		Wow!! Whats that stamp next to Your name??? Lock Her in!! She's dangerous!!

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/2/2008 6:44:08 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx
I'd listen more carefully to you, to Kyra, to LA to...others who are IN long term relationships who have weathered the storms of adversity, and even the calm of mediocrity, rather than those who are still in their own little dream world.


Hi Christina,

I can't tell you how many times in the last couple of months that I have started posts only to cancel them because I thought it was way too sappy or who really wants to hear about me moving in again?!  In fact, just about 30 minutes ago, I started a post to this thread and cancelled it for that reason and then I read this... lol  Thank you.

I try very hard not to give the illusion that our relationship is flawless and I was a little floored yesterday with the praise from another poster about their perception of our relationship.  We make mistakes, screw up, piss each other off, get annoyed, hurt each other and yet we also love and care for each other.  Our relationship is good not because it is flawless, but because even when we make mistakes, we work together to overcome them rather than working against each other.

Hopefully, what we post will help someone somewhere find a way to deal with an issue they face.  Of course, I am also sure that there are some sitting in the background waiting to see our relationship fall apart. 

Thank you for the thread.

Knight's Kyra


Yet in the same token, there are many people here who are also applauding the fact that you had the courage to leave your native country and move several hundred miles to be with the people who want you and obviously care very much about you. We know that all relationships have issues and not all of us are able to overcome them in the best way possible. We hope that the next time around, we look back and learn what not to do.


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RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/2/2008 6:47:34 PM   
TracyTaken


Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
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quote:


Hopefully, what we post will help someone somewhere find a way to deal with an issue they face. Of course, I am also sure that there are some sitting in the background waiting to see our relationship fall apart.


You've got to wonder about their level of contentment in life.

Good luck with the move. 



(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/2/2008 6:50:38 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild
Yet in the same token, there are many people here who are also applauding the fact that you had the courage to leave your native country and move several hundred miles to be with the people who want you and obviously care very much about you. We know that all relationships have issues and not all of us are able to overcome them in the best way possible. We hope that the next time around, we look back and learn what not to do.



Thank you, bear and RedMagic.

My thoughts on the sentence that I bolded...  There are sometimes that I think the best possible way to resolve issues in a relationship is to end the relationship.  I don't think all relationships are meant to be long term.  Many times people enter our lives to help us learn the lessons we need to learn.  Sometimes those lessons can feel pretty brutal and I have had my fair share of those.  Hopefully, we learn what we need to and can move on.

Hope you have a great weekend.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/2/2008 6:53:55 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Kyra; I have to say, I've done the same.
Sometimes I type it all out, and think 'nope...not gonna do it'.
I don't want to tempt fate, for she is evil...
And I also agree that I hope that no one wishes the three of you ill.
Whenever any of you post I am happy for you. I have spoken to one or two of you in the past, and every conversation has been enlightening and well thought out.

~Christina

p.s. yep, L.A.'s new icon thingy...*lolol*

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/2/2008 7:01:32 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

Happiness should be taken whenever we can get it, and it should be shared. There is far too much negativity in the world.




It depends on the source of one's happiness. My new found love of crack and snuff films brings me the most delight I have experienced in over a decade. I would like to share it with you but I think it might be against tos if I go into the graphic details. For some reason when I shared the cause for my new found glee with the people who attend my pottery class it was not well received.

Anywhooo, there are many who treat relationships like drugs...It's a momentary euphoria followed by the stealing from your loved ones and lighting some hobos on fire.

It isn't about happiness...It's fine to be happy when there is a legitimate cause to be happy for someone...This is more about learning certain social skills...Ya know, when you hear someone comment for the umpteenth time that they have found "the one" or their soulmate...You learn not to laugh, blow pop out your nose, hold you "circled" right hand in front of your chest and move it up and down demonstrating the mock hand job or roll your eyes in their presence.

I wonder if the subs who come out here and proclaim there happiness are told to do so by their Dom? It would be great pub..Make her comment on my perfection as a mate and a Dom...How I don't fart. How I fuck like I just got rescued from a deserted island. That I am deliciously diabolical...Hmmmm...Might have to create a new profile for that sub I just collared...I think she is going to say that I am dreamy. Tragically she will be killed in a fire.

Maybe it would be refreshing if they had a "Low Expectations" thread.


quote:

Domiguy
Hi everyone, I'm Domiguy and I just met cumslurpin'sub4U...It was okay. We went out to dinner. She's far from perfect. She chews with her mouth open. She also mentioned that her gums bleed and she sleeps with her ferret. But ya know, I really have been in kind of a rut of late and I think she would be perfect to kill some time with. I would cough up my left nut if we make it till Spring.

Anywhooo, I think she caught me looking at the waitresses ass at dinner and I could have sworn she gave the bartender her home phone number.

The first time I fucked her I was already thinking of someone else.

I haven't been in a relationship that lasted over 6 months in my life....So here we go again. But what the fuck! It's not like I have anything better to do with my time.

God I hope she doesn't gain any more weight.


< Message edited by domiguy -- 2/2/2008 7:19:47 PM >

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RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/2/2008 7:41:22 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		no relationship is perfect. if you search for perfection you will never find it. i searched for happiness and found it in M'Ladys collar, there have been some bumps but thats what makes the journey worth doing if it was not for the bumps and jogs in life's path how would we ever discover the depth of ourselves. and if your happy and you know it why not shout about it much better than whining about trivial things in my opinion anyway.

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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/2/2008 8:22:05 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied
I think that people who gush constantly on the message board need to have public approval for what they do.  Perhaps because they aren't getting that acknowledgement in their relationship

Perhaps.  Or maybe they're just really happy and feel like sharing.  It's wonderful to be as happy as I find myself every single day.  I wouldn't say I've ever "gushed" about things, but I certainly have spoken alot about how grateful and blessed Master and I both feel.  Not seeking approval because there's not a poster or reader here who really matters at all in the grand scheme of my life.  But, when topics arise, if I'm to post honestly, I must be open about how wonderful our life really is.  It's far from perfect.  But it's better than any thing either of us have ever known or ever thought we'd know.  We're happy and thankful and, when the opportunity arises, we proudly say so.  Not bragging.  Not trying to convince anyone.  Just statin' the facts, ma'am..........luci

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 2/2/2008 8:23:05 PM >

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RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/2/2008 8:31:01 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
Who would be anyone be jealous of a relationship of a stranger?

Lots of people.  That's not an uncommon thing at all, I've found.
quote:

We all have our own personal lives and relationships; just because we do not broadcast them and examine them publically under a microscope or shout about how blissful we are, does not mean we hate or or are jealous of anyone

Not necessarily, no.  But it could.  The terms you use ("broadcast" and "shout" about how "blissful") does smack a bit of your irritation at their sharing of what THEY consider their happiness.
quote:

That assumption that people who do not shout about how wonderful their relationships are or constantly ask how others feel about their relationships, might be bitter or angry or jealous,  is really wishful thinking on the part of those thinking that

There's the "shout" word again.  Saying it isn't necessarily "shouting" it.  Not at all.  As far as wishful thinking, as I said above, I just tell it like it is in our world and if others believe it and like it, that's good.  If not...if it somehow irritates them or they don't belive it....that's their choice.  It's sad but it does happen.
quote:

I, for one, am thrilled when someone truly is in a healthy, happy, productive and real life relationship

Thank you very much.  Me too............luci 

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To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

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RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/2/2008 8:36:09 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

quote:

I, for one, am thrilled when someone truly is in a healthy, happy, productive and real life relationship.


How do you know those who yell the loudest over and over of their relationships are not ?

My thought exactly.  Just because all who do don't have relationships that work out doesn't mean that NONE of them do/will.  The same principle about all this "yelling" and "shouting" could also be applied to the other side.  All those hatin' on the bliss of others MAY just be trying to convince themselves that they don't need what they may not be able to find.  Maybe.  But then maybe not.  Basically, we can just take what people say at face value until facts prove otherwise.  Who am I to decide someone isn't really happy? If it blows up, too bad.  They can try again.  It's happened to us all, I'd guess................luci

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 2/2/2008 8:37:39 PM >

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RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/2/2008 8:41:26 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY
For what it's worth, though, we do have a relationship that is about as close to perfection as it can get for us.  Does that mean we are doomed, or trying to convince ourselves or others?  

I don't think so. 


That's what I've been trying to say in the last three posts.  Yes.  Exactly................luci





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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/2/2008 8:53:31 PM   
ChainedExistence


Posts: 507
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline 		There's certainly plenty of bad news around for someone who wants to hear those things-deaths, car accidents, fires, flood and the like without wishing for bad things to befall those who are happy in love.  So, if someone wants to gush a little and talk about their happiness, it's a welcome change of pace from what we normally get to hear. Am I more impressed when it comes from a long-term couple (or triad, or any configuration)? Sure, because I know that they've had to weather some storms along the way and they are still happy together. At the same time, I don't have to begrudge even the new "I just met you and I'm wearing your collar" types from enjoying their moments of bliss. Even if something doesn't last, those moments of joy are what makes the moments of desperation all the more bearable. I don't make myself happier by wishing misery on someone else, nor can someone else's misery impact what I feel. Besides, both joys and sorrows were meant to be shared- Hallmark has created a whole industry out of it! It's part of our nature to want to connect to others about what we feel. It's my choice how I react to it, and I don't feel jaded by it.

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/2/2008 9:20:39 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		My Dominant posted on the Positive Experiences forum.

My reactions were, "Oh no!  Now we are going to break up soon!"  and, "You are sappy."

I tend to agree with you.  I think it boils down to people being desperate for attention.


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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/2/2008 9:33:41 PM   
TracyTaken


Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChainedExistence
It's part of our nature to want to connect to others about what we feel. It's my choice how I react to it, and I don't feel jaded by it.


True.  It's hard to watch people go through the in love part and come out sad, but I don't feel jaded by it.  I don't believe a great deal that I read on various forums, but that's more to do with the nature of online forums than me feeling jaded.  Watching the elections makes me feel jaded!  

(in reply to ChainedExistence)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/2/2008 9:34:08 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		I believe the quote you were referring to was:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

It has always been my theory that the shelf life of a relationship is inversely proportional to the amount of public drama received at it's inception.


And my point was that such public drama is indicative of someone who is latching onto someone... anyone... regardless of compatibility.  It's indicative of someone who is simply desperate to own, or be owned, without regard to whom they own or belong to.  The drama being more a public show (and show off) of relief and validation for having (finally) achieved the summit.

Sure it seems perfect, because the objective was simply to own or be owned.  And in having accomplished that, what more is there?  That's all there is to it, right?  I mean, that's what it's all about, isn't it?  How could it not be perfect?
 
And other than it being two people who have no clue as to what they want in a partner and a relationship, no idea how to recognize it when it comes along, no idea how to be patient and not compromise, no idea how to nurture and care for it... other than that, it really is perfect.  I mean, it's ownership and being owned.
 
John

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/2/2008 9:38:24 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

I understand what you're saying and generally agree on the principle, but where you say relationships should not be perfect, I say that life should not be perfect. I don't place that onus on the relationship itself, but rather how we live our lives. To me, our relationship is perfect... it's life that offers the challenges to overcome. It's up to us to create the goals that we will grow from.


Very true and very good point.  I speak here about relationships in particular simply because that is the topic of the OP.  However, the same words do apply to life more broadly with equal validity.


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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/2/2008 9:47:18 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
Who would be anyone be jealous of a relationship of a stranger?

Lots of people.  That's not an uncommon thing at all, I've found. (Maybe in your little internet world, but no one I know would be jealous of strangers who may or may not even be having a relationship. Being jealous would connote having some sort of vested interest in a person and since strangers typing across a screen are vitrual, it would therefore be impossible to be jealous of typing.)
quote:

We all have our own personal lives and relationships; just because we do not broadcast them and examine them publically under a microscope or shout about how blissful we are, does not mean we hate or or are jealous of anyone

Not necessarily, no.  But it could.  The terms you use ("broadcast" and "shout" about how "blissful") does smack a bit of your irritation at their sharing of what THEY consider their happiness.(How amusing. You don't like my choice of words, so you create an entire fictional story of how irritated I must be about your happiness.  Don't flatter yourself. There is a writer's strike going on, perhaps you should volunteer? I am not irritated at anyone's happiness, I am simply bored by the smugness inherent in many posts of this type)
quote:

That assumption that people who do not shout about how wonderful their relationships are or constantly ask how others feel about their relationships, might be bitter or angry or jealous,  is really wishful thinking on the part of those thinking that

There's the "shout" word again.  (I am not changing my verbiage to suit your delicate sensibilities. If I was shouting, I would use all CAPS.) Saying it isn't necessarily "shouting" it.  Not at all.  As far as wishful thinking, as I said above, I just tell it like it is in our world and if others believe it and like it, that's good.  If not...if it somehow irritates them or they don't belive it....that's their choice.  It's sad but it does happen.
quote:

I, for one, am thrilled when someone truly is in a healthy, happy, productive and real life relationship

Thank you very much.  Me too............luci 


You are welcome. Hope I clarified things for you.

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/2/2008 9:49:56 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

quote:

I, for one, am thrilled when someone truly is in a healthy, happy, productive and real life relationship.


How do you know those who yell the loudest over and over of their relationships are not ?

My thought exactly.  Just because all who do don't have relationships that work out doesn't mean that NONE of them do/will.  The same principle about all this "yelling" and "shouting" could also be applied to the other side.  All those hatin' on the bliss of others MAY just be trying to convince themselves that they don't need what they may not be able to find.  Maybe.  But then maybe not.  Basically, we can just take what people say at face value until facts prove otherwise.  Who am I to decide someone isn't really happy? If it blows up, too bad.  They can try again.  It's happened to us all, I'd guess................luci


It must be fantastic to be so egotistical to think that everyone is hanging on every word of your relationship or that everyone is so jealous and "hatin'" on you. Must be fun on planet luci. I have a healthy ego but would never dream of thinking that anyone would be that interested in what I did in my relationship.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 2/2/2008 9:51:32 PM >

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 60
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