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RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/2/2008 9:56:25 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx
I'd listen more carefully to you, to Kyra, to LA to...others who are IN long term relationships who have weathered the storms of adversity, and even the calm of mediocrity, rather than those who are still in their own little dream world.


Hi Christina,

I can't tell you how many times in the last couple of months that I have started posts only to cancel them because I thought it was way too sappy or who really wants to hear about me moving in again?!  In fact, just about 30 minutes ago, I started a post to this thread and cancelled it for that reason and then I read this... lol  Thank you.

I try very hard not to give the illusion that our relationship is flawless and I was a little floored yesterday with the praise from another poster about their perception of our relationship.  We make mistakes, screw up, piss each other off, get annoyed, hurt each other and yet we also love and care for each other.  Our relationship is good not because it is flawless, but because even when we make mistakes, we work together to overcome them rather than working against each other.

Hopefully, what we post will help someone somewhere find a way to deal with an issue they face.  Of course, I am also sure that there are some sitting in the background waiting to see our relationship fall apart. 

Thank you for the thread.

Knight's Kyra


Yet in the same token, there are many people here who are also applauding the fact that you had the courage to leave your native country and move several hundred miles to be with the people who want you and obviously care very much about you. We know that all relationships have issues and not all of us are able to overcome them in the best way possible. We hope that the next time around, we look back and learn what not to do.



well said bear.  Kyra I've always enjoyed reading posts about your relationship by any of you.  I don't think the original OP was really meant to say people shouldn't post about their relationships or that there's anything wrong with being happy about a relationship but merely that we often see many rush into what they profess to be a perfect relationship and end up being hurt and disappointed.  Somehow, several people have chosen to make it personal and something other than that, which again, I find odd.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/2/2008 10:02:09 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		Speaking as one of the single women here.
It does NOT bother me, when people gush on and on about
their relationships.
 
I will add that I always have my doubts about the ones that have not even
lasted one year, but people are FREE to gush, even if they have been together
2 weeks.
 
IF I feel it is a bit more than I want to read, guess what?
I don't read it.
 
I am not sure how I will act, when I finally collar my submissive.
I MIGHT become one of those people that talk constantly about their relationship on here.
If I act like that, I hope others will share my JOY.
 
It REALLY does not bother me to hear about how happy someone is with their relationship,
if anything it is encouraging.
Let them gush, let them brag, let them be happy, let people be.
 
I rather hear about how someone is happy, than hear bitching and moaning all the time.

I have no romantic submissive interests in my life, and none appear to be coming any time soon.
I don't care if I am alone until I go home to GLORY, it just does not bother me to hear
how happy someone else is.
But then I am not a jealous hearted person.
 
People are going to talk about whatever they want to talk about.
 
You can't stop or change them, BUT you can stop reading it.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 2/2/2008 10:08:18 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/3/2008 1:45:51 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

Relationships should not be "perfect". Without flaws and imperfections, there's nothing to strive for, nothing to grow towards. Perfection strikes me as a special kind of hell.

My relationships are far from perfect....THANK GOD!!!!!


lol Yes and no one should be happy..we should all be unhappy...so we can long for happiness


_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to celticlord2112)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/3/2008 8:28:28 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

I believe the quote you were referring to was:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

It has always been my theory that the shelf life of a relationship is inversely proportional to the amount of public drama received at it's inception.


And my point was that such public drama is indicative of someone who is latching onto someone... anyone... regardless of compatibility.  It's indicative of someone who is simply desperate to own, or be owned, without regard to whom they own or belong to.  The drama being more a public show (and show off) of relief and validation for having (finally) achieved the summit.

Sure it seems perfect, because the objective was simply to own or be owned.  And in having accomplished that, what more is there?  That's all there is to it, right?  I mean, that's what it's all about, isn't it?  How could it not be perfect?
 
And other than it being two people who have no clue as to what they want in a partner and a relationship, no idea how to recognize it when it comes along, no idea how to be patient and not compromise, no idea how to nurture and care for it... other than that, it really is perfect.  I mean, it's ownership and being owned.
 
John


Absolutely. This is the quote to which I was referring.
I find it positively odd that so many turned this into something it wasn't, but then again, this is the internet, and I don't have Rover's way with words, so, this could easily be misconstrued.
Luci, if I offended you in some way, I apologize. And anyone else who feels slighted by this, please re-read the original question, which was based on John's quote (above)
It was not a slam, just an observation, and I am not jaded, I just said it would be easy to let that happen.

~Christina

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/3/2008 8:42:04 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3
Kyra I've always enjoyed reading posts about your relationship by any of you.  I don't think the original OP was really meant to say people shouldn't post about their relationships or that there's anything wrong with being happy about a relationship but merely that we often see many rush into what they profess to be a perfect relationship and end up being hurt and disappointed.  Somehow, several people have chosen to make it personal and something other than that, which again, I find odd.


*g*  Thank you, laurell.  I originally cancelled my post to this thread because I knew that it was not in reference to someone like my family or like TreasureKy.  What compelled me to write were the comments about being so happy and wanting to "shout it to the world" since I have had to curb that urge within myself the last couple of months.  I find it amusing when I do it and chalk it up to NRE.

Knight's Kyra



_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/3/2008 8:52:23 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Sure it seems perfect, because the objective was simply to own or be owned. And in having accomplished that, what more is there? That's all there is to it, right? I mean, that's what it's all about, isn't it? How could it not be perfect?


Yep.  And it is perfect, until they start a post about how they haven't heard from their master in 2 days and wonder what is going on.  Or how their master now wants to be poly and how hurt they are.  Do people actually think that some of us are jealous of that sort of stuff?  wow.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/3/2008 8:59:19 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Yep.  And it is perfect, until they start a post about how they haven't heard from their master in 2 days and wonder what is going on.  Or how their master now wants to be poly and how hurt they are.  Do people actually think that some of us are jealous of that sort of stuff?  wow.



Yup... my relationship is perfect...... My target date to start posting the drama of our relationship is April 1st.

Stay tuned!!!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/3/2008 9:03:46 AM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Treasure; I find a huge difference between how you speak of your relationship, and the ones who, after a week, a month or two or whatever, proclaim to the world how wonderful and perfect theirs is.
This post is not about people who think they have a perfect relationship, but, about how long the relationships which are proclaimed so loudly on these boards as 'the ONE' actually do last.


Thank you, blushes.  I've always tried to avoid sounding boastful of my good fortune... but I'd be lying if I said there weren't many times from the very beginning where I wanted to shout out about the joy that I have found with FirmhandKY. 

I did have to go back and look through the archives... while I knew that neither of us had posted about our relationship in the Positive Experiences forum, it seemed to me that we did post positive comments fairly soon after we had started talking to each other. 

lol... Yep, we did.  Less than two weeks.  But to be fair, it was almost five months to the day (and after we'd met in person) before we publicly claimed in the forums to have found our "one" in no uncertain terms.

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

I'd listen more carefully to you, to Kyra, to LA to...others who are IN long term relationships who have weathered the storms of adversity, and even the calm of mediocrity, rather than those who are still in their own little dream world.
And, I'm wondering, for anyone who keeps track of this type of thing, how long these wonderful, great, perfect relationships actually last.


I agree with what you're saying, but I do recognize that we all started somewhere.  I was just two months after FirmhandKY and I wrote our first words to each other that I wrote the following in my journal...

...I'm grateful to have a mindset grounded in reality and for not having settled for less.  As a reward, it appears that the "winds of fate and the muses of old" have favored me with my heart's dreams and desires.

I'm sure that anyone who bothered to read that might have been just as skeptical.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

... you simply come in and discuss whatever topic is being discussed and relate it to your relationship. And so people can hear what goes on in a healthy relationship, hear your opinions and you are not being exclusionary or trying to be "better than".


I do hope that's what people take away.  When I began here, there were some here that I benefited from in that same way... I've always wanted to pass that along. 

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/3/2008 9:37:12 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

My thought exactly.  Just because all who do don't have relationships that work out doesn't mean that NONE of them do/will.  The same principle about all this "yelling" and "shouting" could also be applied to the other side.  All those hatin' on the bliss of others MAY just be trying to convince themselves that they don't need what they may not be able to find.  Maybe.  But then maybe not.  Basically, we can just take what people say at face value until facts prove otherwise.  Who am I to decide someone isn't really happy? If it blows up, too bad.  They can try again.  It's happened to us all, I'd guess................luci


It must be fantastic to be so egotistical to think that everyone is hanging on every word of your relationship or that everyone is so jealous and "hatin'" on you. Must be fun on planet luci. I have a healthy ego but would never dream of thinking that anyone would be that interested in what I did in my relationship.


Indeed, you just corroborated luci's assertion that some are envious of the happiness of others. One of luci's many talents is the disconstruction of language for the purpose of analysis. Perhaps it annoyed you? In any event, luci didn't deserve the vitriol you poured all over her posts.

Chill.

< Message edited by kittinSol -- 2/3/2008 9:38:09 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 69
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/3/2008 9:40:25 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Yep.  And it is perfect, until they start a post about how they haven't heard from their master in 2 days and wonder what is going on.  Or how their master now wants to be poly and how hurt they are.  Do people actually think that some of us are jealous of that sort of stuff?  wow.



I ended up marrying my Dom - strangely, nobody is jealous of that  .

_____________________________



(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/3/2008 9:42:08 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you kittinsol, once again for taking up the position of hall monitor. I think luci is quite able to answer for herself.

As for you, the phrase pot calling the kettle black comes to mind; unless it is worded differently in the UK.

And your interpretation of what I say is incorrect, as usual. You never "get" it, EVER.

(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/3/2008 9:57:39 AM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		you can't get jaded reading something i've posted to the positive experience forums because everything i wrote still stands...

i find it almost humorous to read that forum; mainly because it unveils the 'dipshits'  of the crowd, and who i should stay away from completely, that's for sure!

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/3/2008 10:24:49 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		My my my, so many wadded panties!

I am a jaded sarcastic snarky bitch. I also look for the best in people yet am on the watch for the worst. The reality is very few people have realistic expectations of others and their relationships.

While my jaded sarcastic snarky bitch nature may find a great deal of humour in the immature drama of "add water instant relationship" then "omg, he/she/they are the worst person/people in the world" in the matter of time it takes others to get past hello. Yeah, I think it's pretty damned funny. BUT, aside from the entertainment value I really don't care. I know myself, my life, my relationships. I just never felt the need for public internet validation.

The flip side of that is that, you just never know, in my advancing years, you may see me turn into a disgusting sap one day. Gawd I hope not..............Domiguy, Ron, Jefff, Katy, Aileen, SOMEONE better slap me silly if that happens!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to daddysliloneds)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/3/2008 10:30:24 AM   
domahpet


Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline 		~~~i find it almost humorous to read that forum; mainly because it unveils the 'dipshits'  of the crowd~~~


...not just that forum

_____________________________

Zeedaddys
~DJ domahpet~
*Love is giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to*

*crystal*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLI12uN6k5k

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/3/2008 10:52:17 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		It is all relative...This site does cater to many wackos....Me being at the top of the heap.

Out here you kind of have to look at the individual to get a grasp of what "happiness" might mean for them. For some it might be a warm stream of piss and a smack across the ass or face. If that is the case for you....Then..Come to Domiguy and start living the dream.

People often use the term jaded when they could substitute cautious, more wordly, and wiser. It doesn't always mean that you have become a total cynic...There is still hope, not everyone is self serving and I think that the majority of us recognize this fact. It does get harder at times to discern between being jaded and cautious....But you should know I believe we can all find happinesss and I have faith in all of you....lol..Now that was total crap, patronizing and self serving....I have faith in a few of you...The rest of you are fucked.

How do I keep myself so positive? It's easy....Cuz I'm a lovah.

_____________________________



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Profile   Post #: 75
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/3/2008 11:08:59 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3
Kyra I've always enjoyed reading posts about your relationship by any of you.  I don't think the original OP was really meant to say people shouldn't post about their relationships or that there's anything wrong with being happy about a relationship but merely that we often see many rush into what they profess to be a perfect relationship and end up being hurt and disappointed.  Somehow, several people have chosen to make it personal and something other than that, which again, I find odd.


*g*  Thank you, laurell.  I originally cancelled my post to this thread because I knew that it was not in reference to someone like my family or like TreasureKy.  What compelled me to write were the comments about being so happy and wanting to "shout it to the world" since I have had to curb that urge within myself the last couple of months.  I find it amusing when I do it and chalk it up to NRE.

Knight's Kyra




Shout it, in fact start a thread about it.  I'd love to read it, I'm sure many others would as well.   Yours and most here are not the relationships the OP was referring to obviously unless you consider all the time you spent waiting to move and working on building your relationship rushing, which lol I'm guessing you really really don't.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/3/2008 11:13:48 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domahpet

~~~i find it almost humorous to read that forum; mainly because it unveils the 'dipshits'  of the crowd~~~


...not just that forum


Colour me clueless, but I honestly do not know what your talking about...........

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to domahpet)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/3/2008 5:11:30 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
(Maybe in your little internet world, but no one I know would be jealous of strangers who may or may not even be having a relationship. Being jealous would connote having some sort of vested interest in a person and since strangers typing across a screen are vitrual, it would therefore be impossible to be jealous of typing.)

I'm assuming I spend time in the same "little internet world" as you and, I must say, considerably less time it seems.  I don't have time to be an auxillary group member.  Too busy enjoying real life and serving Master.  I'm quite grounded in reality and I'm sorry if you can't grasp the concept that people can and do become jealous of others' happiness and success.  It happens all the time.  Nowhere have I EVER said anyone should be jealous of anything I have.  I only wish everyone could be as happy is all.  If they were, it would be a wonderful world.

quote:

(How amusing. You don't like my choice of words, so you create an entire fictional story of how irritated I must be about your happiness.  Don't flatter yourself. There is a writer's strike going on, perhaps you should volunteer? I am not irritated at anyone's happiness, I am simply bored by the smugness inherent in many posts of this type)

Again.  Stay with me here.  You are the only one creating "fiction" here.  I never said you were irritated with MY happiness.  It would not, in addition, "flatter" me if you were.  You don't impress me as someone I would enjoy knowing and the way you approach others on these forums is often nothing short of flat-out rude.  We all have done it, some not so intentionally. 
quote:

You are welcome. Hope I clarified things for you

Oh you did.  Your personality is more crystal clear than ever................luci

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 2/3/2008 5:13:15 PM >

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(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/3/2008 5:24:08 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
It must be fantastic to be so egotistical to think that everyone is hanging on every word of your relationship or that everyone is so jealous and "hatin'" on you. Must be fun on planet luci. I have a healthy ego but would never dream of thinking that anyone would be that interested in what I did in my relationship.

This is probably the funniest and most ludicrious line of bs you've typed so far, red1.  You pretty much exemplify "egotistical" in most of your posts.  To project that particular character flaw onto me is typical to say the least.  I have been called many things in my life - many of them rightfully so, I suppose - but egotistical is the most off-base yet.  Once again, let me state, since you can't seem to grasp it.  I never said anyone was "hatin'" on ME.  We were talking in generalities.  It's a word.  Look it up.  It was kind of a generic scenario. 

For instance, say there's a lonely, bitter, dried up ole hag who can't find anyone good enough for her and can't find anyone who wants her.  Perhaps she could find it a bit painful to read of someone else's wonderful happiness and bliss.  I know that sounds far-fetched and could probably never happen, but play along with me here.  If it didn't bother her, she probably wouldn't make such a big deal out of how sickening it was to hear/read of others' happiness.  The fact that she sees the flaw in the happy ones rather than herself is quite telling. 

You say you'd never "dream of thinking anyone would be that interested in your relationship."  I don't think anyone cares anymore about my relationship than they do about any other one of the hundreds that are discussed here each day.  Those of us who are in them often talk about them here.  That's kind of the point of most threads here. 

Again, your bitterness has oozed through.  Why so angry?  Come on by "Planet Luci" anytime.  It's a blast.  You can relax and get happy..............luci 

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: One could get very jaded... - 2/3/2008 5:31:22 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Luci, if I offended you in some way, I apologize.

You certainly did not offend me, blushes.  I took your post as it was intended.  I just get bored with the same old tired attitudes from those who cannot possibly distinguish the difference between public discussion of a relationship and drama.  I have written a lot here about my relationship in answer to numerous questions in various threads.  NEVER have I participated in drama concerning my relationship.  There is a huge difference to anyone paying any attention at all.

I also loathe the public drama of someone supposedly falling head over heels today and then they're in misery tomorrow because they jumped the gun too quickly.  I feel more pity than anything for people who suffer through things because they're obviously making bad choices one after another. 

Never does it occur to me to feel that because some people do that and then write about it here that everyone who talks openly and at length about their relationship is being dramatic.  Face it.  Some people here truly are very happy and they have as much right to share as the whiners and unhappy ones.  There are some folks here who's happiness shines through in every post they make about their partner.  I hope mine is one of them.  No drama involved at all.  So it gets tiresome to see many who apparently are not in a happy relationship raggin' on those who are.  They are the real drama queens, not the happy ones................luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 80
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