RE: Paying To Be Handicapped (Full Version)

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Smith117 -> RE: Paying To Be Handicapped (2/6/2008 6:35:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TribeTziyon

[Your reply is just rude. A couple of days blind is hardly the samething.


While the tone might have been rude, you can't say that in the moment, when she thoguht she was blind for life, she doesn't know how it feels. It's like the argument from the movie "City Slickers" just because "her ailment" ended happily and she was able to see, doesn't mean she didn't go through hell while she couldn't see. I think being blind, even for a couple of days qualifies her to weigh-in on this. Sure....NOW she's not blind. But do you think she honestly knew that when she went blind that first day? Imagine if you woke up blind tomorrow. Would that not be horrible? What that horror be suddenly lifted and made irrelevant if 5 days later you could see again? What are those 5 suddenly sightless days worth to you?

Her blindness may not have been permanent, but it was still blindness. She had to get by with it the same as any other newly (albeit temporarily) blind person would.



MissSCD -> RE: Paying To Be Handicapped (2/6/2008 6:54:09 PM)

Dear MistressofGa?
 
We have a lot in common.   I am very hearing impared almost to the point of being totally deaf. 
There is one thing I love to do.  I love to work.  It is my thing.
I was not born this way; however, I had a viral infection three years ago that took 70 percent of hearing on both sides.  I was a dispatcher. I made good money.  This illness has cost me 3/4ths of my income.
Tuesday, I thought I had an inner ear infection.  I go to the doctor and she discovered that part of a tip of an old aide had fallen off into my ear.  Big yikes.
She took it out.
I go to work.  I am a cashier now.   That is all I can do far as work goes.
My boss starts riding my case because I am slower than usual.  My balance is off.
Then, she said one of the most cruel things anyone has ever said so far.  She told me I needed to "get over my ear infection".
She and I are really good friends as a rule, but I was stunned.  I cried.  I don't shead tears easily.
This illness has taken my entire life over.  I know I am probably feeling sorry for myself right now, but she came out of the office when she heard me talking to a co-worker.   I asked her in front of him if she had a problem with me, and she said no of course not.  I told her I was going to walk out right then.   I am the one that goes everywhere for her. 
I love the part-time job.  It has been great for my self-esteem.
As far as your dellimia, I totally understand your need for equality.  People do not understand the handicapped, and worse make fun of us.  That is what my boss did Tuesday.
I could have made it very hard on her, but I love her.  I am going to have a friendly talk with her about how she needs to make facial contact with me.
People feel like hearing imparied people are stupid.  I resent that very much, and I am sure that you feel that way as well.
Blessings to you, and good luck in getting your guide dog.  They are a great tool.
 
Regards, MissSCD



EvilGenie -> RE: Paying To Be Handicapped (2/6/2008 8:19:27 PM)

Kalista I had no idea you had an accident and hope that you are doing allright. Though I have been MIA from the boards for a while now due to falling upon my own hard times. I'd also like to mention that while I get your point, you also don't know what is going on behind the scenes of this thread and how many of us are now CMailing in friendship and kindness due to this thread. It has done a world of good and the uncaring ones are the ones who ultimately will lose out. Your post happens to be a part of why I left the US and never looked back. Eventhough I am here for a short time, it has no longer been ''home'' for quite some time now.

I work (am employed) for change in medicine and social work being disabled myself. I still do this for this brief time that I am back in the US and hope that I have had the honor of making a difference in some folk's lives. I do work right now that everyone I know says they could never ever do and yet I could never ever do anything else. No matter how bloodied I become banging my head against brick walls because some walls I have been able to break through and make solid changes in my field. We can only do what we can do and the rest has to lay with those who care only for themselves.

I have handiapped plates and I am a large woman due to a rare disorder that only I to date in the world have. One cannot look at me and ''see'' disabled necessarily though my gait can be awkward at times and very rarely I yank out my cane for winter stability but don't even know where it is at the moment. I have pages of disabilities, not all pertaining to a growth disorder. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard loudly after parking, nearly exclusively from men, fuck I didn't know they gave handicapped plates for being fat. I cannot wear a neon sign that says I don't eat, I need people to remind me to and I have disabilities. The best that I can do is ignore them though I can't say that a occasional fuck off has not escaped my lips. Said problem with the handicapped plates has only ever happened to me in the US.



SubbieOnWheels -> RE: Paying To Be Handicapped (2/6/2008 10:14:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smith117

While the tone might have been rude, you can't say that in the moment, when she thoguht she was blind for life, she doesn't know how it feels. It's like the argument from the movie "City Slickers" just because "her ailment" ended happily and she was able to see, doesn't mean she didn't go through hell while she couldn't see. I think being blind, even for a couple of days qualifies her to weigh-in on this. Sure....NOW she's not blind. But do you think she honestly knew that when she went blind that first day? Imagine if you woke up blind tomorrow. Would that not be horrible? What that horror be suddenly lifted and made irrelevant if 5 days later you could see again? What are those 5 suddenly sightless days worth to you?

Her blindness may not have been permanent, but it was still blindness. She had to get by with it the same as any other newly (albeit temporarily) blind person would.


It wasn't so much that she didn't know what blindness was like, but her assumption that because she could walk up and down steps while blind, any blind person should be able to do so. Not true. She had only the blindness to contend with. Others have other disabilities in addition to being blind. Big difference.



MistressOfGa -> RE: Paying To Be Handicapped (2/7/2008 4:00:54 AM)

Kalista,
Sheesh girl, I hope our are OK! I had a major car accident when I was 18 years old (down a 500 foot cliff) so I understand what you may be going through. I am so sorry about your father's passing too. I am at a loss for words (imagine that!) but I didn't want your post to go UN-noticed. I wish you a speedy recovery.
 
((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))) Virtual, but heart-felt.
 
MoGa
 
BTW you don't have to worry about hi-jacking my threads, I am not THAT touchy about it. I also don't see it as a hi-jack, I see it as a "side note" <s>



MistressOfGa -> RE: Paying To Be Handicapped (2/7/2008 4:03:46 AM)

MissSCD,
I am surprised about your friends comments. I have never been a fan of the phrase "get over it" about anything. It is minimizing at best and heartless at worst. I hope things turn out better for you. Maybe one day the world will view us the way we would like to be viewed. As normal people who have special needs. Nothing wrong with that, we aren't asking for a hand out, we are just asking for a little understanding.

Hugs,

MoGa

ETA: I had the wrong posters name on this <g>



MistressOfGa -> RE: Paying To Be Handicapped (2/7/2008 4:12:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smith117

quote:

ORIGINAL: TribeTziyon

[Your reply is just rude. A couple of days blind is hardly the something.


While the tone might have been rude, you can't say that in the moment, when she thoguht she was blind for life, she doesn't know how it feels. It's like the argument from the movie "City Slickers" just because "her ailment" ended happily and she was able to see, doesn't mean she didn't go through hell while she couldn't see. I think being blind, even for a couple of days qualifies her to weigh-in on this. Sure....NOW she's not blind. But do you think she honestly knew that when she went blind that first day? Imagine if you woke up blind tomorrow. Would that not be horrible? What that horror be suddenly lifted and made irrelevant if 5 days later you could see again? What are those 5 suddenly sightless days worth to you?

Her blindness may not have been permanent, but it was still blindness. She had to get by with it the same as any other newly (albeit temporarily) blind person would.

 
Smith,
I agree with this, her tone was rude, but I know the absolute FEAR of losing your sight suddenly. I sat on my sisters couch for a few weeks to a month, just sitting there. Frozen. I was afraid to move. I happen to admire anyone who can get up and move so quickly after learning of a life changing event. As far as the girl who went to school with Jonas, she may have been blind from birth, we don't know the extent of her blindness. One thing I do know is that age plays a huge factor in how fast we "get on with our lives".
The girl she went to school with could have been a teenager for all we know. I know that at age 49 and losing sight I was absolutely petrified. And as pup mentioned I have Neuroapathy which is extremely painful. The nerve damage is in my feet and legs. I hadn't wanted to mention it in my OP because I didn't want y'all to think that is the reason I wanted a bottom flloor apt. I could navigate stairs when I had sight, even with the Neuroapathy.
 
Thank you for responding :)
 
MoGa



MistressOfGa -> RE: Paying To Be Handicapped (2/7/2008 4:17:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGenie

Kalista I had no idea you had an accident and hope that you are doing allright. Though I have been MIA from the boards for a while now due to falling upon my own hard times. I'd also like to mention that while I get your point, you also don't know what is going on behind the scenes of this thread and how many of us are now CMailing in friendship and kindness due to this thread. It has done a world of good and the uncaring ones are the ones who ultimately will lose out. Your post happens to be a part of why I left the US and never looked back. Eventhough I am here for a short time, it has no longer been ''home'' for quite some time now.

I work (am employed) for change in medicine and social work being disabled myself. I still do this for this brief time that I am back in the US and hope that I have had the honor of making a difference in some folk's lives. I do work right now that everyone I know says they could never ever do and yet I could never ever do anything else. No matter how bloodied I become banging my head against brick walls because some walls I have been able to break through and make solid changes in my field. We can only do what we can do and the rest has to lay with those who care only for themselves.

I have handiapped plates and I am a large woman due to a rare disorder that only I to date in the world have. One cannot look at me and ''see'' disabled necessarily though my gait can be awkward at times and very rarely I yank out my cane for winter stability but don't even know where it is at the moment. I have pages of disabilities, not all pertaining to a growth disorder. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard loudly after parking, nearly exclusively from men, fuck I didn't know they gave handicapped plates for being fat. I cannot wear a neon sign that says I don't eat, I need people to remind me to and I have disabilities. The best that I can do is ignore them though I can't say that a occasional fuck off has not escaped my lips. Said problem with the handicapped plates has only ever happened to me in the US.

EvilGenie,
I have heard those comments as well. Uusally from a group of abled bodied people. You know, sometimes you might want to let that urge go and simply say "fuck off", you might be surprised at how good it feels <eg>
 
I look forward to your c-mail :)
 
MoGa



Sasy -> RE: Paying To Be Handicapped (2/7/2008 4:22:22 AM)

I dont know about where you  are .... but there are alot of places that are specifically set up to accomodate those with almost any  handicap. Many also being goverment subsidized as well. I do not know about your finances but you can get alot of help in finding these  where you will pay less for the apartment. Goverment payments also will afford you  that  all things  that make your standard of living a bit easier will be  provided ... things such as rails in addition to crud I forgot what it is called ... things that  normally one would see can be modified for notifacation with  sound ... Also ...  this isnt a silly one persay  but the phone companies must also  wave fees for directory information calls as  blindness prevents  you actually being able to  look up a number in the *phone book* You  do have to  call them and sometimes provide proof.
As to the need for a first floor apartment I  can see one  major reason... In the chaos of a fire ... taking the stairs might not be the best route for some one who cant see them.  I guess the fact that I have had to  deal with this in the last year for freiends i understand and perhaps have more compassion than some about this issue. If there is a lighthouse for the blind  you  may be able to  get more help from them.



MistressOfGa -> RE: Paying To Be Handicapped (2/7/2008 4:29:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sasy

I dont know about where you  are .... but there are alot of places that are specifically set up to accomodate those with almost any  handicap. Many also being goverment subsidized as well. I do not know about your finances but you can get alot of help in finding these  where you will pay less for the apartment. Goverment payments also will afford you  that  all things  that make your standard of living a bit easier will be  provided ... things such as rails in addition to crud I forgot what it is called ... things that  normally one would see can be modified for notifacation with  sound ... Also ...  this isnt a silly one persay  but the phone companies must also  wave fees for directory information calls as  blindness prevents  you actually being able to  look up a number in the *phone book* You  do have to  call them and sometimes provide proof.
As to the need for a first floor apartment I  can see one  major reason... In the chaos of a fire ... taking the stairs might not be the best route for some one who cant see them.  I guess the fact that I have had to  deal with this in the last year for freiends i understand and perhaps have more compassion than some about this issue. If there is a lighthouse for the blind  you  may be able to  get more help from them.


Sasy,
Excellent ideas! I knew about the phone company, but about the fire, I hadn't even thought of that. I am almost moved into my new place. I will be without interenet til Friday, unless of couse I use my sisters puter. Thank you for responding. :)
 
MoGa



HalloweenWhite -> RE: Paying To Be Handicapped (2/7/2008 4:46:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Griswold

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa
Is this for real ? I will address that and move on, you are typing, if you can't see you can't type. Is there a new program called typospeak, or speakotype or something ? I am not trying to be antagonistic here, I really want to know.


Gawwwwd....some people were just born stupid.

This reminds me of a question I'm often asked;  "Why the hell do they have Braille on Drive Thru bank machines?"

(Did it ever occur that while being driven to a bank....after hours....blind people may occasionally need money too?)


I agree, when I read that I couldn't breathe properly. I wondered if it was a serious question for a while. As for your needing to go to a bank, I just can't believe how stupid some people are, I wonder if they're just trying to wind you up or genuinely don't know, which begs the question -How- can they -not- know???.



HalloweenWhite -> RE: Paying To Be Handicapped (2/7/2008 4:54:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGenie

quote:

ORIGINAL: HalloweenWhite

lmao at blind not crippled. I must be a cripple then cos Im in a wheelchair and not blind?.


Yup, those of us disabled who are not blind are the cripples. Geezuz didn't anyone tell you?! [:D]


Lol no, I was waiting for a kind and more knowledgable able bodied person to tell Me what and who I am, I can't figure it out all by Myself you see ;). Thank god for the non disabled, thats all I can say ;). (...wonders back to his "crip's corner for a good old drool)



joanus -> RE: Paying To Be Handicapped (2/7/2008 5:51:56 AM)

I know my post came across as rude but the under lying point which you are all failing to see (pun) is that, instead of saying I cannot do it because I am blind, You should be saying I CAN do it despite being blind. Deaf people use lights to help them hear music. Parapligics prefur old fashion hand powered chairs instead of the new electric ones, unless they have a reason why they can't use their arms. Even people with full body paralsis (Steven Hawkin, Chris Reeve) found ways to utalize and over come rather than sit and wait to die.

Also instead of foucing on a nonnessiserial trivality like surfing the internet (which believe me you can live without a lot easier than eyesight)  maybe you should try using that energy on learning brail, or practicing with your cane. As for someone leaveing things on the stairs, That is why you have your cane. You sweep each stair with a 2-1-2 sweeping pattern (which takes less than a second) useing a reversgrip and navigating stairs is easy.

For those of you at home who are not blind, try blind folding your self. (Im sure your Domme will let you barrow one) then use a broom or similar object to be your "cane". and try navigateing your stairs. If you don't have stairs then just try navigating your home.

As long as your maintain the mind set of I CAN you can over come your limits. I would also suggest training your other senses to compensate for your lose for sight.

The differnace between being Handicaped and Handicapable depends on how strong your resolve is.



TribeTziyon -> RE: Paying To Be Handicapped (2/7/2008 7:37:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smith117

quote:

ORIGINAL: TribeTziyon

[Your reply is just rude. A couple of days blind is hardly the samething.


While the tone might have been rude, you can't say that in the moment, when she thoguht she was blind for life, she doesn't know how it feels. It's like the argument from the movie "City Slickers" just because "her ailment" ended happily and she was able to see, doesn't mean she didn't go through hell while she couldn't see. I think being blind, even for a couple of days qualifies her to weigh-in on this. Sure....NOW she's not blind. But do you think she honestly knew that when she went blind that first day? Imagine if you woke up blind tomorrow. Would that not be horrible? What that horror be suddenly lifted and made irrelevant if 5 days later you could see again? What are those 5 suddenly sightless days worth to you?

Her blindness may not have been permanent, but it was still blindness. She had to get by with it the same as any other newly (albeit temporarily) blind person would.


The experience in the short may have been parallel. Yet in the long run it was not.  I would wager that if the circumstances had been extended, the reply might not have been so flip. Or if they had been, there might have almost been an 'excuse' for being flip.

I have had times, as I am sure most adults have, where their physical status has been impared. I have been to a degree 'sight impaired' when my eyes were dialated. Does that make me the 'equivalent' of someone 'legally blind'? No, it gives me a slight idea of what it might be like but that's about it. I sure as heck don't think I'd be giving cold, hard advice to someone who is based on my hour's experience.






joanus -> RE: Paying To Be Handicapped (2/7/2008 8:36:00 AM)

BTW Smith Im a guy, and in the three days I was blind I memorized the Brail alphabet, mastered the cane, learned how to walk my apartment from one end to the other with out help, cane or other wise ( I never realized how much shit I left on the foor til I broke a few toes triping on every thing) And wipe my own ass with out the aid of eye sight.(which is tougher than it sounds) 



SubbieOnWheels -> RE: Paying To Be Handicapped (2/7/2008 9:55:02 AM)

Among the disabled community, those who are not disabled are referred to as TAB - Temporarily Able-Bodied.

And please don't use the PC term "Differently Abled" when referring to someone who is disabled. We aren't offended by a term which describes us accurately. Each of us, disabled or TAB, has different abilities, so the "Differently Abled" tag just sounds condescending.

>>edited to add: i have not seen the DA term used in this thread, for which I thank all the posters.<<



servantheart -> RE: Paying To Be Handicapped (2/7/2008 12:01:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: joanus

As long as your maintain the mind set of I CAN you can over come your limits.


Now here's something I CAN agree with.



SubbieOnWheels -> RE: Paying To Be Handicapped (2/7/2008 12:58:09 PM)

Exactly. But the only one who knows my true limitations is myself. So someone can learn to use a cane and read Braille in three days. Good for them. I'm happy that they were able to learn to use a cane without the extensive training that most blind people need. I'm happy that they had feeling enough in their extremities to learn Braille. I tried learning Braille, and it was like I was wearing gloves.

I tell people that my hearing has not become more sensitive since my vision has gone; I simply pay more attention to what I hear. This has a down side, though, as I have to concentrate really hard to separate what I want to listen to from all the other ambient noise. And when people act like they think I'm stupid because I ask them to repeat something they have mumbled to a spot somewhere over my head ... Well, that's another thread.

I have said that I've been chided for not using a prosthesis. Perhaps if I "told myself I CAN, then I can." Perhaps, but I've tried that. I've exercised and practiced - for over a year - and every time I make progress, some other condition appears in my body that makes things impossible again. Grit my teeth and tri again, you say? How many times should I do that, when I get around just fine in a wheelchair?




PanthersMom -> RE: Paying To Be Handicapped (2/7/2008 2:02:39 PM)

if you're happy in the chair Subbie, don't let anyone bug you about it.  some people don't understand what a pain in the ass it can be to use a prosthesis if they've never had problems with theirs.  ulcers, pressure sensitive nerves, loads of fun.  the girl next door to my grandparents when i was little once told me she'd rather not wear her hand because it hurt her to do so.  she was born without an arm from just below the elbow and functioned just fine without it.  the man who lived next door to me refused prosthetics because he said he didn't feel right walking on two pegs that were not a part of him.  as a double amputee he felt much more comfortable in the chair, not like he was walking on stilts. 
why should people be forced to do something they cannot live with in the name of being more "normal" ?   if we don't have a problem with it, why should anyone else?  do we bug them about the clothes they wear that make them look horrible?  that's how i see my chair, like my glasses, i "wear" it to get through my day, it does not define who i am.  i don't ask someone to go get a new shirt just because it goes against what i think they should wear.

PM



servantheart -> RE: Paying To Be Handicapped (2/7/2008 2:22:22 PM)

ORIGINAL: SubbieOnWheels

Exactly. But the only one who knows my true limitations is myself. So someone can learn to use a cane and read Braille in three days. Good for them. I'm happy that they were able to learn to use a cane without the extensive training that most blind people need. I'm happy that they had feeling enough in their extremities to learn Braille. I tried learning Braille, and it was like I was wearing gloves.

I tell people that my hearing has not become more sensitive since my vision has gone; I simply pay more attention to what I hear. This has a down side, though, as I have to concentrate really hard to separate what I want to listen to from all the other ambient noise. And when people act like they think I'm stupid because I ask them to repeat something they have mumbled to a spot somewhere over my head ... Well, that's another thread.

I have said that I've been chided for not using a prosthesis. Perhaps if I "told myself I CAN, then I can." Perhaps, but I've tried that. I've exercised and practiced - for over a year - and every time I make progress, some other condition appears in my body that makes things impossible again. Grit my teeth and tri again, you say? How many times should I do that, when I get around just fine in a wheelchair?


Please don't mistake my agreement with joanus to mean that one can be exactly as they were prior to whatever happened that landed them in the condition they're in and pretend that nothing ever happened.  What I meant was that with determination, any person can overcome (i.e. bypass) whatever their limitations are.  In your case, you have overcome the inability to walk by using a wheelchair.  It matters not whether you use a prosthesis, wheelchair, or if you grow wings and fly around everywhere in order to accomplish this.  The point is that you are functioning to the best of your ability.  I would certainly never presume to tell anyone what the best means of mobility is for them, as that is a decision each person must make for themselves. 



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