RE: Slavegirl’s orgasmic abstinence by free will.

RE: Slavegirl’s orgasmic abstinence by free will. (Full Version)

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icy_flame -> RE: Slavegirl’s orgasmic abstinence by free will. (2/8/2008 11:43:07 AM)
I’d like to remind some of the readers that I’m not trading anything really. I’m not sacrificing myself, and suffering in the process just to give him pleasure. I fail to see why some of you are unable to understand that I’m doing this willingly. Orgasm is not the only way us women can take pleasure in sexual intercourse. This is just one the numerous ways of enjoying a healthy sexual relationship, another form of pleasure that we are BOTH enjoying immensely at the moment. Master’s current decision doesn’t imply that he will never again grant me an orgasm! Nor that he doesn’t enjoy them, nor that he thinks I can’t please him if he gives me permission to cum. Why is it so hard to understand that somebody can enjoy giving themselves in this manner also? And more importantly…why is it wrong to do so? As for the health issues, I agree with daddysprop247. There are so many women who have never had an orgasm and are perfectly healthy. Going to the doctor’s is not an issue, don’t get me wrong, but to put it bluntly there is no connection between temporary orgasm denial and vaginal atrophy.

breatheasone -> RE: Slavegirl’s orgasmic abstinence by free will. (2/8/2008 11:48:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: icy_flame I’d like to remind some of the readers that I’m not trading anything really. I’m not sacrificing myself, and suffering in the process just to give him pleasure. I fail to see why some of you are unable to understand that I’m doing this willingly. Orgasm is not the only way us women can take pleasure in sexual intercourse. This is just one the numerous ways of enjoying a healthy sexual relationship, another form of pleasure that we are BOTH enjoying immensely at the moment. Master’s current decision doesn’t imply that he will never again grant me an orgasm! Nor that he doesn’t enjoy them, nor that he thinks I can’t please him if he gives me permission to cum. Why is it so hard to understand that somebody can enjoy giving themselves in this manner also? And more importantly…why is it wrong to do so? As for the health issues, I agree with daddysprop247. There are so many women who have never had an orgasm and are perfectly healthy. Going to the doctor’s is not an issue, don’t get me wrong, but to put it bluntly there is no connection between temporary orgasm denial and vaginal atrophy. I have to disagree...in my view this is NO WHERE NEAR healthy. If you and your "master" are fine with it. While others see as obviously an unhealthy dynamic...why worry about it?....Just keep doing what you are doing...its your life.

daddysprop247 -> RE: Slavegirl’s orgasmic abstinence by free will. (2/8/2008 11:53:07 AM)
i must admit that i'm a bit surprised and confused at all the negative responses brought about over something like orgasm denial over the course of a few months. it's not as if orgasms are something one must have to live and thrive, especially so for a female who happens to be slave. orgasm denial and control are not my Master's cuppa...just nothing he's ever had an interest in. but he has always made it very clear that i am to focus on him (or whomever my partner may be), his needs and desires sexually 100% always, be selfless, etc...which imo makes an orgasm almost impossible. for most people i think they need to be able to lose themselves just a little bit, float, drift, etc. in order to reach the point of having an orgasm. i cannot float away into lala land, even for a few moments, so the orgasms just don't happen, and other than the negative reactions that some of my partners have had to this (not my Master), it doesn't bother me. my vagina has not atrophied, i have not lost my mind or gone into hysterics, i have not lost interest in or desire for sex. sex for me is just about one basic thing: pleasing and serving my partner, period...and that's pretty fulfilling to me, as long as i'm successful at it.

icy_flame -> RE: Slavegirl’s orgasmic abstinence by free will. (2/8/2008 12:01:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daddysprop247 my vagina has not atrophied, i have not lost my mind or gone into hysterics, i have not lost interest in or desire for sex. sex for me is just about one basic thing: pleasing and serving my partner, period...and that's pretty fulfilling to me, as long as i'm successful at it. Thank you for posting this!

DesFIP -> RE: Slavegirl’s orgasmic abstinence by free will. (2/8/2008 12:26:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: icy_flame As for the health issues, I agree with daddysprop247. There are so many women who have never had an orgasm and are perfectly healthy. Going to the doctor’s is not an issue, don’t get me wrong, but to put it bluntly there is no connection between temporary orgasm denial and vaginal atrophy. Unfortunately there is a well known connection between keeping the libido active and the ability to have orgasms as well as the corollary; if you shut down your sexual pleasures you lose the ability to restart the libido. Use it or loose it, to be blunt. Call your ob/gyn and tell him you're having six months of sex that you will not enjoy in and of yourself and ask her/him how likely you are to start enjoying it again afterwards with the same partner that will not let you have any pleasure. And I'm not talking about service here, in the giving him pleasure is all you need. I'm talking about the physical needs of your body and how they affect your mind. Neither of you are willing to call the doctor and ask because you already suspect the answer you will get is not what you want. You sound like petulant children putting their fingers in their ears and saying "neener, neener, I can't hear you".

xxblushesxx -> RE: Slavegirl’s orgasmic abstinence by free will. (2/8/2008 12:32:27 PM)
I agree that this is probably not a health concern. Hell, I've been celibate for years, and been ok after. (doesn't mean I didn't have orgasms though) One thing I've found, is that if you go long enough without an orgasm, the body will do it for you while you're sleeping. (like a teenage boy) Don't ask me how I know this... ~Christina I just don't find orgasm denial hot, or desireable in my relationships.

subtee -> RE: Slavegirl’s orgasmic abstinence by free will. (2/8/2008 12:32:58 PM)
Hi icy; I appreciate your words here. And of course, if the two of you are happy with your situation, and you're healthy, etc., it's dandy. I didn't mean to imply that anything you've done or are doing is wrong. I'm glad you're happy with the situation. Your sir posted this question in "Ask A Submissive," and that is why I have replied to him. I meant not to suggest that what he is doing is wrong, but to suggest it might not be the only way. He wrote in his OP that your orgasms were causing you guilt; therefore, I was merely suggesting that the guilt might be the focus of the correction, not the orgasm. What will you do if you again feel guilty on June 17? Tee

Milivoje -> RE: Slavegirl’s orgasmic abstinence by free will. (2/8/2008 12:34:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Unfortunately there is a well known connection between keeping the libido active and the ability to have orgasms as well as the corollary; if you shut down your sexual pleasures you lose the ability to restart the libido. Use it or loose it, to be blunt. Call your ob/gyn and tell him you're having six months of sex that you will not enjoy in and of yourself and ask her/him how likely you are to start enjoying it again afterwards with the same partner that will not let you have any pleasure. And I'm not talking about service here, in the giving him pleasure is all you need. I'm talking about the physical needs of your body and how they affect your mind. Neither of you are willing to call the doctor and ask because you already suspect the answer you will get is not what you want. You sound like petulant children putting their fingers in their ears and saying "neener, neener, I can't hear you". I love how this post of yours contributed to the discussion. Well done. Keep up the good work.

AquaticSub -> RE: Slavegirl’s orgasmic abstinence by free will. (2/8/2008 2:02:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: icy_flame I’d like to remind some of the readers that I’m not trading anything really. I’m not sacrificing myself, and suffering in the process just to give him pleasure. I fail to see why some of you are unable to understand that I’m doing this willingly. Orgasm is not the only way us women can take pleasure in sexual intercourse. This is just one the numerous ways of enjoying a healthy sexual relationship, another form of pleasure that we are BOTH enjoying immensely at the moment. Master’s current decision doesn’t imply that he will never again grant me an orgasm! Nor that he doesn’t enjoy them, nor that he thinks I can’t please him if he gives me permission to cum. Why is it so hard to understand that somebody can enjoy giving themselves in this manner also? And more importantly…why is it wrong to do so? As for the health issues, I agree with daddysprop247. There are so many women who have never had an orgasm and are perfectly healthy. Going to the doctor’s is not an issue, don’t get me wrong, but to put it bluntly there is no connection between temporary orgasm denial and vaginal atrophy. Actually I think most people do get that you doing this willingly. They just come from a different approach. Our approach is that if I need to give up orgasms to become fully devoted, I am not devoted enough in the first place. It works for you. That's awesome and wonderful really. I really do believe that. However, I also believe that not bothering to call the doctor's office, something that won't cost you a penny, is foolhardy. First person testimonies of "I did this and I'm fine" on the Internet really aren't what you should put your faith in when it comes to your health. It will cost you a local call and 30 minutes to call a doctor. Then you can come back and say "Hey, I spoke with the doctor and they say everything is fine". Then, knowing the boards, people will simply say "Awesome. Glad to hear you are having a great time and being safe."

icy_flame -> RE: Slavegirl’s orgasmic abstinence by free will. (2/8/2008 2:08:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Unfortunately there is a well known connection between keeping the libido active and the ability to have orgasms as well as the corollary; if you shut down your sexual pleasures you lose the ability to restart the libido. Use it or loose it, to be blunt. Call your ob/gyn and tell him you're having six months of sex that you will not enjoy in and of yourself and ask her/him how likely you are to start enjoying it again afterwards with the same partner that will not let you have any pleasure. And I'm not talking about service here, in the giving him pleasure is all you need. I'm talking about the physical needs of your body and how they affect your mind. Neither of you are willing to call the doctor and ask because you already suspect the answer you will get is not what you want. You sound like petulant children putting their fingers in their ears and saying "neener, neener, I can't hear you". Who says I’ll shut down my sexual pleasures? Just because I’m not having orgasms doesn’t mean I’m not enjoying sex. On the contrary! I have never been wetter in my life! I’m sorry you see things this way, but I can see the mother in you talking, so I understand your concern. [:)] Thank you for posting, I know you only mean well. Don’t worry I’m a fully responsible adult and I will inform myself on time. :)

gypsypet -> RE: Slavegirl’s orgasmic abstinence by free will. (2/8/2008 6:11:07 PM)
Wow this is one hell of a thread.. ive read the majority of it, (not all.. i lost the plot a cple of times along the way). some for, some against, some concerned, some not, some hailing it, some frowning on it. All i know is that, that length of deniel would drive me out of my tree, and id be an absolute mess.. guess im lucky then that my Master enjoys making me orgasm. [:)]

sunshinemiss -> RE: Slavegirl’s orgasmic abstinence by free will. (2/8/2008 6:32:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist Lord no orgasms for a few months and you people think the thing is going to rot out or something? I wonder how the nuns mananged. Man, I KNOW nuns... they don't exactly sit around non-orgasmic... they are celibate - they don't have sex WITH OTHERS.... *giggles at the visual of the conversation... Jesus: Now, look I know I gave you all multiple orgasms and all... but hey... the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Nun: But when I married you, I only agreed to poly not to being non-orgasmic! You can have all them other gals, but come on!!! That's hell.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Slavegirl’s orgasmic abstinence by free will. (2/8/2008 6:36:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Milivoje quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Unfortunately there is a well known connection between keeping the libido active and the ability to have orgasms as well as the corollary; if you shut down your sexual pleasures you lose the ability to restart the libido. Use it or loose it, to be blunt. Call your ob/gyn and tell him you're having six months of sex that you will not enjoy in and of yourself and ask her/him how likely you are to start enjoying it again afterwards with the same partner that will not let you have any pleasure. And I'm not talking about service here, in the giving him pleasure is all you need. I'm talking about the physical needs of your body and how they affect your mind. Neither of you are willing to call the doctor and ask because you already suspect the answer you will get is not what you want. You sound like petulant children putting their fingers in their ears and saying "neener, neener, I can't hear you". I love how this post of yours contributed to the discussion. Well done. Keep up the good work. Just because you don't like the way something was said, doesn't mean they are wrong. I think the visual of the petulant children is RIGHT ON THE MONEY. It's a phone call - about a medical issue... and you and she are doing just that. Having a little temper tantrum about not wanting to get information. Your sarcasm is just another example of doing this. peace

Milivoje -> RE: Slavegirl’s orgasmic abstinence by free will. (2/9/2008 2:00:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss quote: ORIGINAL: Milivoje quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Unfortunately there is a well known connection between keeping the libido active and the ability to have orgasms as well as the corollary; if you shut down your sexual pleasures you lose the ability to restart the libido. Use it or loose it, to be blunt. Call your ob/gyn and tell him you're having six months of sex that you will not enjoy in and of yourself and ask her/him how likely you are to start enjoying it again afterwards with the same partner that will not let you have any pleasure. And I'm not talking about service here, in the giving him pleasure is all you need. I'm talking about the physical needs of your body and how they affect your mind. Neither of you are willing to call the doctor and ask because you already suspect the answer you will get is not what you want. You sound like petulant children putting their fingers in their ears and saying "neener, neener, I can't hear you". I love how this post of yours contributed to the discussion. Well done. Keep up the good work. Just because you don't like the way something was said, doesn't mean they are wrong. I think the visual of the petulant children is RIGHT ON THE MONEY. It's a phone call - about a medical issue... and you and she are doing just that. Having a little temper tantrum about not wanting to get information. Your sarcasm is just another example of doing this. peace The lack of medical knowledge in some people can surely be tiresome.

eyesopened -> RE: Slavegirl’s orgasmic abstinence by free will. (2/9/2008 3:05:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Milivoje Martyrdom? Trading? Pleasure? Circumstance? Women? Admired? Sacrifice? Personal? Providing? All powerful words... are you a republican? Naw..... if i were a Republican i would have just said "Stay the course!" Which i think is a response you would have found more to your liking. winkHmmmm...are You a republican?

Milivoje -> RE: Slavegirl’s orgasmic abstinence by free will. (2/9/2008 4:07:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eyesopened Naw..... if i were a Republican i would have just said "Stay the course!" Which i think is a response you would have found more to your liking. winkHmmmm...are You a republican? Naa, I am a sadist.

donnaamarie -> RE: Slavegirl’s orgasmic abstinence by free will. (2/9/2008 9:57:27 AM)
Willowmoon, This information is interesting. I had never really looked into it at all but I have noticed that after 3 surgeries in the past two years, after the recovery I really needed to be "jump started" again. I got a little nervous realizing that I wasn't wanting sex with Master at all. Not that he couldn't get me going when he wanted it, but I have to say the drive was much much lower. Now that explains it!! I feel so stupid getting to this age in my life and not having known this before. I guess we do keep learning things. donna

softness -> RE: Slavegirl’s orgasmic abstinence by free will. (2/9/2008 12:28:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub . Our approach is that if I need to give up orgasms to become fully devoted, I am not devoted enough in the first place. THANKYOU! icy-flame .... you do what you need to do to feel devoted and pleasing we know that there are things we would give up orgasms for, becoming more devoted is not one of them

icy_flame -> RE: Slavegirl’s orgasmic abstinence by free will. (2/9/2008 1:09:57 PM)
To each his own! Master and I posted in the first place because we were interested in the opinion and experience of other people in the lifestyle, and not because we wanted to convince anybody of anything. I get that people are different and that they enjoy different things. However, I don’t agree with this statement. quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub Our approach is that if I need to give up orgasms to become fully devoted, I am not devoted enough in the first place. I see this experience as yet another form of giving myself to him, as I explained in the previous post. It doesn’t imply I wasn’t devoted enough in the first place.

Milivoje -> RE: Slavegirl’s orgasmic abstinence by free will. (2/9/2008 1:55:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: softness we know that there are things we would give up orgasms for, becoming more devoted is not one of them Could you care to enlighten us on this matter? What can those things be? World peace? Saving the poor? Aiding the developing countries? Stopping hunger? Ot some other "humane" act?

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