LadyLolly
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Joined: 5/21/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
quote:
ORIGINAL: ThundersCry
It was always my understanding that there were 3 types of collars that were *used* in the Old Guard...ways and days.
Consideration....Training....The Real Deal.
Not a way all want to appraoch their relationships nowdays....
I have always thought the collar has been bastersized thru the interent, in many ways...
Uh, this is horseshit, "old guard" has become the noble idiocy BECAUSE of the internet, it was a bunch of gay men fucking each other in the backs of leatherbars. Read any of the non fiction books written by them, The Leatherman's Handbook is one or go visit the Leather Archives where REAL people wrote their histories.
They were into anonymous sex which is why they had hankie codes for god sakes!
Collars of consideration is new and collars of protection is absolutely a chatroom concept. I think they are idiotic and would never use them. I know a few who do who I also respect.
I know people who got collared long after their wedding, I know others who collared someone they day they met (me for one) and I know everything in between. Do what works for you and make it work for you, don't try and make it something it isn't, just be true to yourself.
ThundersCry is correct. Traditionally 3 levels of collars were utilized.(submissive and slave are used interchangeably)Consideration - essentially a "promise" ring where the submissive was exclusive to the Dominant - the official you have my attention, now show me - there was no lock on the collar for a reason, either could withdraw though submissive were expected to wait for at least a minimum of 6 months before asking consideration of another - why? To help avoid rebounding and promote careful thought before approaching a Dominant for consideration. The submissive would approach the Dominant and ask if they might petition for consideration. Both worked on the petition. A great deal of thought on both sides, communication and clarification going it to it was the point. Service/Training collar - a contract of service, limitations, roles, duties, expectations were again discussed, negotiated, clarified as well as terms and grounds for dissolution. This collar did have a lock. Permanent collar - A minimum of two years before this collar might be asked for/offered and accepted. A permanent contract developed. While the contract itself was considered permanent it was a living document that could be altered by mutual agreement. Again, there often was terms for dissolution much as a pre-nup might have. It was a big deal. The equivalent (if not more so) of a "marriage" in a public ceremony witnessed by the community. While I'm on a roll:Protective collar: Submissive get hungry, sometimes to the extent that they are their own worst enemies. A collared submissive is not directly approachable by a Dominant - not kosher. The protective Dominant is in place to assist the submissive in finding and securing a suitable Dominant while avoiding pitfalls and being taken advantage of because of the submissive innate desire to please, submit and serve. There are many heavy handed Dominants out there that will seize and bully, this way the submissive has a buffer, a protector, a friend. While many submissive have no difficulty blowing off the F*tards or judging when they are being played, some do. Now, on to "horseshit" and old fart OG comments.After 15 years of finding my own way with D/s I came into contact in the early 90's with the leather community Old Guard, Next Guard, Leather men and wyman, European Classism and Goreans as well as American Freestyle practitioners. Originally, in my own ignorance I too scoffed, ridiculed and rejected the formal styles - after all, I didn't bite the bullet and step out to a different drummer just to fall in with another society's damn rules and "codes". In time I learned. Rather than re-invent the wheel, there is value in the co-operative knowledge base. There are reasons, good ones, for consistency, rules, codes of ethics and protocol. My mentors, friends and eventually peers, brought and shared the knowledge and wisdom garnered from multigenerational and 40, 60 even 70 years in the lifestyle. I've at least met the majority of those who have written the non-fiction books, are icons, even had national impact on acceptance and they were and, still are, quite "real". There are many of us still, Next Generation, not quite ready for geritol and walkers, out there teaching, organizing, giving back. BTW, the hanky codes were used to connect with like interested real people in public before people just sat behind a computer screen with their checklisted profiles of "wants" and intos. The leather community is held up for the standard for the simple reason they/we at least have them. There is consistency, there are acceptable codes of ethics and etiquette. There is a sense of community. There is a dedication to education. There is acceptance of those with different ways with the caveat that simple good manners will mark a gentleman or woman in any culture and that sociopath intent on boorish "I'm an individual" to practice deliberate exclusion of basic common courtesy and decent manners are......not. By all means, find your own way to your own joy if you wish. But don't in ignorance reject and so rudely belittle an alternative lifestyle society that gave, and still gives, so much back to all of us. Not everyone wants to be, or can be, leather lifestyle - but those of us that are - are very, very proud of who we are, where we came from and where we are going.
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RE: Clarity and Consideration Collars - 
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