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RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/18/2008 2:12:06 PM   
charlotte12


Posts: 471
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline 		Charlotte was told to reply before reading the responses so she will read them after.

Master has not made his slave sleep on the floor yet.  He does require that she ask permission before getting into bed and has not given it right away every time.  When it starts to seem that he is not going to give permission so far this girl is sad but also feels this yummy warm feeling.  It's the same feeling she gets when sitting at Master's feet though a little more humbling. 

Charlotte was made to sleep on the floor once by a previous Dominant.  It was also a very yummy experience and every time she woke up and felt all cramped and uncomfortable she just looked up at him and remembered her place and felt happy. 

So charlotte has not had it be a negative experience yet and when anticipating the possibility of being made to sleep on the floor doesn't get scared.  She processes it as a reminder of her place with Master, something this slave craves.  Charlotte loves cuddling with Master but sometimes she gets the urge to crawl down to his feet as sometimes she just feels so small and wants to feel a physical reminder of her status. It is hard to express right now but so far it ends up feeling like a good thing, not something to struggle through (except maybe physically.) 

Perhaps when Master makes her spend a whole night on the floor though she will sing a different tune.  Most likely a journal entry will follow.

charlotte






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RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/18/2008 2:51:24 PM   
ownedandcollared


Posts: 217
Joined: 1/21/2006
Status: offline 		i've got kicked to the floor too...and its always been for punsishment. except one time....i'm apparently a very restless sleeper, and he got kinda sick of being kicked in bed...so he woke me up and booted me to the floor

and it does suck. Alot.

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RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/18/2008 2:57:02 PM   
schoenekitty


Posts: 44
Joined: 8/7/2007
From: Marina del Rey, CA
Status: offline 		I myself have never been made to sleep on the floor (or in the cage for that matter) and I'm sure I wouldn't like it (I find it very hard to fall asleep when Master isn't there) but I also think that I would do it. However, in our relationship, and this is what works for us (and not necessarily others) we talk about everything. For example, Master likes to talk to me in a very assertive tobe- which to me sounds angry (and often leads to me crying) but we've talked about how I mistake it as anger and he now has made a point to let me know he's not angry- he talks me through the things that are difficult and after the difficult things is sure to comfort me, because I need it. Maybe youo should just discuss your feelings with your master and find a way that he could talk you through some of the things that are difficult and comfort you when the situation is over... Hope this makes sense- I'm sick and not necessarily thinking clearly

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RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/18/2008 3:34:22 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		FR

He asked you to come over, he was angry that he had gotten sick and blamed it on you even though you weren't sick?  Is that correct?  If that's correct, I'm having a hard time getting past that part of it alone. So he was punishing you for something you had zero part in? Or did I misunderstand completely?

Sir and I have never discussed sleeping on the floor, although he is aware that I once had a hip dislocation (that whole damn colorful past), and have managed to crack both kneecaps at some point in my life. This makes even sitting on the floor difficult; he would have to really want to damage me to tell me to sleep on the floor. I literally would not be able to move the next day.

Even when I woke up from a nightmare flailing about and hitting him, he did not boot me out of the bed.

Cali


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RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/18/2008 4:11:53 PM   
petpete


Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		That is quite cruel.. What happens if you catch a cold?? and miss days from work or studies?? i think You need to keep warm at the very least of things.. (whack the bugger over the head when his sleeping and kick him out of the bed..)

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RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/18/2008 6:06:03 PM   
meticulousgirl


Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline 		califchick,

i wasn't be punnished for Him getting sick but, for some reason He seems to believe whatever He had was caused from me.  I'm not going to argue the fact that i know that isn't the case, i know better.  i mean i could have a virus or something and not feel it but, for me its just the fact that the floor is such a cold place emotionally to be, for me there are the feelings of being alone, not wanted, not cared about etc....in chatting with someone else earlier in email it made me realize that it's mainly the feeling of not being wanted that gets to me the most.

i dont see the act as being cruel or cold hearted, it's something that i want to be able to do without a fight, i've wanted that for awhile because for me the realism of slavery in any form is what i enjoy, it's just in the last five years this is the hardest thing that i have had to get passed because at the end of the day i want the comfort, the safety net etc....i guess at this point we'll just see what happens, and see how long it takes to become comfortable with it, the how is just another story.

~meticulous~

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/18/2008 6:19:40 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		The first time I was ordered to sleep on the floor, it was without a blanket or a pillow - just the carpeted floor, naked.  I cried most of the night and slept about an hour, at best.  The reason for my sleeping on the floor is because he wanted me there.  There did not need to be any reason beyond that.  He wanted me there because he likes having the bed to himself, and he likes having me within arms reach so he can grab and squeeze when he wants, and wake up to looking at me.  He knew it would be stressful, but he trusted in my abilities to overcome the stress.  He told me I wasn't being punished, and it was up to me to believe that and redirect my mind from going there.

The next time he made me sleep on the floor, naked and without a blanket or pillow, it was stressful but not as much as the first.  I trusted it was not punishment, I knew I made it through the last time it happened, and I knew he was pleased that I did.

It's all in how you look at it.  If you can appreciate that your Master prefers you near him rather than in another residence, then you can find gratitude in that, and enjoy simply being in his presence.  This is an opportunity to find your own inner strength, and to rely on feeling his presence within you, rather than on a symbol around you or externally, in his arms.  Seems to me he is strengthening you, and lessons in strength are always painful.

When I spent a week with him in NY, I had a blanket but no pillow.  I rolled up my jacket and used that, and I slept soundly and comfortably, loving the sounds he makes in his sleep, and realizing I would much rather be there with him than alone at home.  Waking to him is divine...so much better than waking without him.  Your attitude is already in the right place - that you want to be able to overcome and be comfortable with this, and you will be.  Just remind yourself it is an adjustment, and find comfort in his presence just a few feet away.  :)

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RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/18/2008 7:36:16 PM   
Bound2One


Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline 		I've been trying to pinpoint what exactly is at the bottom of the issue with sleeping on the floor.  I think it's because, as you've said, being in the bed is the *only* comfort you are permitted in this relationship.  I can't help but think in a long-term relationship such as you have that to not receive comfort other than that is bad enough, but when that is taken away, it could be trouble for you.  I know there are some slaves/submissives who are not looking for an emotional attachment to their Dominants, but perhaps you need more from him than you are getting, and when he takes that away, you can't handle it.  Understandably, in my opinion.  I'm one of those people who needs love and caring within the M/s relationship. 

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RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/18/2008 8:51:55 PM   
alandraofMists


Posts: 187
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		I have slept on the floor... the first few times it was uncomfortable. I asked and got permission go use some cushions to make it easier for me to have a more comfortable sleep so that it would not affect my ability to do what I had to the next day. 

Emotionally, I did not have a hard time with it... it was never used as a punishment.... sleeping on the floor was what was expected of me when He was not home.  After the first week of doing this when I was told to sleep on the bed one night when he was not home, I felt like I had done something wrong .

For me, I feel that in sleeping on the floor I am closer to him by doing his will then when I am sleeping in his bed alone.

There has only been one time that I have slept on the floor while he has been home... I was sent in to the bedroom to sleep on the floor while He and kyra went to play in the dungeon. I was tucked in before they went down to play and given a kiss afterward but left on the floor for the full night. i was invited to come up onto the bed in the morning after they had sex *ss*... laying at the foot of the bed hearing the sounds and knowing that they were enjoying themselves and being allowed to join them after the fact for the cuddle time was an emotional high for me.

Part of the problem may be that he has used sleeping on the floor as a punishment and now you connect it with being punished.

Knight's Alandra

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RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/18/2008 9:46:29 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bound2One

I know there are some slaves/submissives who are not looking for an emotional attachment to their Dominants, but perhaps you need more from him than you are getting, and when he takes that away, you can't handle it.  Understandably, in my opinion.  I'm one of those people who needs love and caring within the M/s relationship. 


Just to clarify, since this seems to be a theme lately...being treated in a way that is less than cuddly does NOT mean the relationship is lacking in love and care and emotional attachment.  Being made to grow and become strong by way of changing routine, by way of having to do that which is difficult so that one can find security within oneself is NOT the evidence of lack of care and love. 

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RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/18/2008 10:03:30 PM   
Bound2One


Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bound2One

I know there are some slaves/submissives who are not looking for an emotional attachment to their Dominants, but perhaps you need more from him than you are getting, and when he takes that away, you can't handle it.  Understandably, in my opinion.  I'm one of those people who needs love and caring within the M/s relationship. 


Just to clarify, since this seems to be a theme lately...being treated in a way that is less than cuddly does NOT mean the relationship is lacking in love and care and emotional attachment.  Being made to grow and become strong by way of changing routine, by way of having to do that which is difficult so that one can find security within oneself is NOT the evidence of lack of care and love. 


No, it's not, and I'm sorry if I came across as being judgmental.  I agree that it can be a loving act to force someone to find security within themselves.  The OP said the one time that her Dom allows her comfort is when in bed at night, so to have that comfort completely taken away seemed like something that might be too harsh for her OR is making the sleeping on the floor thing so difficult for her.  It may well be that he wishes her to overcome some fears, but more communication between them may facilitate understanding with something that she is so clearly struggling with.  YMMV.

< Message edited by Bound2One -- 2/18/2008 10:05:14 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/18/2008 10:12:36 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Bound2One, thank you for the reply re: not being judgmental.  I only used your post because it is something that has come up a lot lately so I wanted to re-clarify.  :)

I understand this is difficult for her.  Too hard or not too hard isn't for us to determine, in my opinion, as we do not know her as intimately as he does.  I have no idea the level of communication that has taken place between them.  In my past I have struggled and there has been wailing and gnashing of teeth...until I could find that place within myself that set everything in place.  That may be (or may not be, for all I know) precisely what her Master is looking to accomplish.

I appreciate your post back to me, however, thank you.

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/18/2008 11:09:04 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Think of it this way. You could be sleeping in a foxhole, with artillery shells spraying you with shapnel intstead. And picking steel out of your ass in the morning.

It could always be worse-buck up.

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RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/19/2008 2:06:38 AM   
HizBabyGirl


Posts: 97
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline 		Dear heart, First of all, I certainly don't think you are having a "pity party" for yourself, I think you are having a very hard time with the fact that your master used you sexually for his gratification and then dismissed you. He knew ahead of time he was going to do so and he knew ahead of time that you were not sick so it was no excuse unless he would punish you on the off chance you "made" him sick once before. You didn't make him sick, there is no way of knowing how he got sick. So even though he said it was not a punishment, he has exposed himself as being dishonest as he was punishing you because he got sick and not even to know that you did in fact make him sick. Yes, I suppose as your master it is within his rights to do so, however a good master knows what his slave needs and sees that she gets it. Sleeping in the bed with him is your aftercare, apparently, and I confess I would feel much the same way were it to happen to me.

I confess that your post struck an especially deep resonance with me as I have had a similar experience. I was not confined to the floor. However at unpredictable intervals I would be awakened at night with a very mean kick or shove to get over on my side of the bed. He would say that he knew I was doing it to "fuck" with his head. I was really hurt by it and I finally told him I have better things to do than lay awake at night waiting to furtively creep my way over to his side of the bed to annoy him. And his mattress was a broken down thing that made it impossible not to roll to the middle. I went from caring deeply about him to avoiding sleeping with him, something that usually brought warm cozy feelings. So I began to sleep on the sofa or not sleep at all which made him angry and then he accused me of staying up "doing drugs". It escalated into physical assaults where he would hit me and kick me lying on the floor. It broke my heart and to tell you the truth 2 years later after we've not been together I still cannot sleep in my bed.

The whole thing smacks of abuse to me but I'm not sure I can see it apart from my own experience. However, there is no law that says that a master/dom can do whatever he feels like and then just say hes doing it to help your grow or be strong. Masters and doms can be mean and selfish too. So much talk of punishing the slave and no one ever addresses the fact that doms are not perfect either.

I know what I would do, but I know nothing of your life, but it sounds to me like he is not giving you very much while you give everything.

I think you know what it is I would do but I will leave that up to you.
You are a young, beautiful and caring girl and you have a right to expect better from your master. I do not believe that being a master entitles one to be needlessly cruel, which I think your master is guilty of.

I'll give you a hug from over here and hope you don't take this onto yourself. Be proud of who you are and if he cannot see his way clear to fulfill your needs to then you might ask yourself if its what you want.

Hope I have not offended you, but I'm telling you my honest feelings.

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RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/19/2008 2:57:24 AM   
silvermuse


Posts: 259
Joined: 6/8/2007
Status: offline 		So, he made you sleep on the floor, knowing it was a hard limit (despite the fact you're not allowed limits any more), despite the fact that the bed is the only comfort you're allowed in the relationship, and partially because he blames you for him falling sick the first time.

Yet expects you to simply accept that this is not punishment?

He's treating you, from the descriptions here, as if it IS punishment.

The words spoken to you might be 'this isn't punishment'

But the way he's acting toward you says 'this is punishment'

"I got sick, it's your fault so you sleep on the floor" = this is punishment live with it. And it would be a hell of a lot easier if he actually put it that way because at least you'd have a better chance of moving on from it.

silvermuse

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RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/19/2008 4:06:22 AM   
TysGalilah


Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline 		 
I suppose I should try to be more supportive and neutral in my response and encourage you to  "trust his words" " not think of it as punishment, but rather as something you are doing to please him because its what he wants at that moment"
but...dang...I sure don't feel that way myself.

This thread has actually brought up some pretty serious emotions in me..
perhaps its because i am missing Tyson so much of late> and if we had time ( nights ) together right now and he sent me to the floor away from him >>>  I wouldn't be able to take those words of wisdom that well either.

That is just my honest disclosure.

It has never happened before.  It has never been talked about actually as a possibility.
and, in my experience, if i am on the floor> so is Tyson lol

I would be hard pressed to not think of it as punishment....not to mention inconsiderate for this ol'womans back and siatica.

and  it made me want to hug you when I read what you said later about him saying  > its because you got him sick the last time you spent the night.
grumble and grrrrrrr..

im sure he managed to exchange a fair amt of spit before it was even bedtime...but  YOU SLEEPING IN THE BED  was what caused his cold?     naw.

I would accept..because I obey....but I would have to work really hard to clear my mind and heart of any negative thoguhts...
but > to hear that excuse/reason ( not that he needs one  and NOT having a reason  would have probably felt better than hearing THAT ONE ) > would have been harder to handle than sleeping separate.

I probably should erase this whole response.
its not very supportive.
but I wanted you to know > you are not alone if you struggle with feelings about the command.

ooooooooo  I just thought of something..
Id  obey and then as Im curled up under my blanket on the floor  > ask for permission to masturbate.....for him of course.

is that ornery????
wonder how long I would be on the floor by myself then...?grinz
blinks..




 


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RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/19/2008 4:24:37 AM   
hopelesslyInvo


Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline 		i'd like to help, but i can't really share or understand your viewpoints.  it's been years since i've slept any where but the floor, but that's of my own accord and i can't imagine sleeping in a bed.  excluding the physical uncomfort, and what it means to some people to "sleep on the floor", would you feel the same apparent rejection/abandonment/guilt/punishment/sadness/whatever... if you were simply sleeping in seperate beds?

< Message edited by hopelesslyInvo -- 2/19/2008 4:25:43 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/19/2008 5:06:01 AM   
Bound2One


Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline 		You're welcome!  I've seen what you're talking about, and didn't want to step on any toes. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Bound2One, thank you for the reply re: not being judgmental.  I only used your post because it is something that has come up a lot lately so I wanted to re-clarify.  :)

I understand this is difficult for her.  Too hard or not too hard isn't for us to determine, in my opinion, as we do not know her as intimately as he does.  I have no idea the level of communication that has taken place between them.  In my past I have struggled and there has been wailing and gnashing of teeth...until I could find that place within myself that set everything in place.  That may be (or may not be, for all I know) precisely what her Master is looking to accomplish.

I appreciate your post back to me, however, thank you.

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/19/2008 5:42:37 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		meticulous,

for my money that floor routine does nothing for the D/s dymanic.

CP

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/19/2008 6:41:51 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		He told you it wasn't a punishment but then he was angry with you for not handling it well? Does he want you to lie about your responses?

The other thing is that the physical discomfort makes the emotional worse. You need to be able to sleep if you are going to be able to drive the next day, handle machinery, sharp objects etc. If he wants you to sleep, then lying on a cold concrete floor isn't going to get you there. A thick mat or two with a sleeping bag will allow you to be warm enough to sleep. And perhaps take a benedryl the first few times to learn how to sleep.

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Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 40
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