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RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/21/2008 9:27:35 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
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I so often hear subs speak of how stong they are.

Then they are asked to do something strong, and they balk.

Make up your minds-are you-or are you NOT?

End the hypocrasy.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 61

RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/21/2008 11:23:54 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

I can only answer on what you have written, and I am going to sound harsh. However you have stated, it is a hard limit, but that belonging to him you have no limits - my answer? You have submitted to that and therefore it is no hard limit.

He told you directly it was not a punishment. But you have not listened. This is something you need to do - don;t second guess him, accept his word. If you cannot do that, then remove yourself from his care.

You got angry. It is ok to be angry. But it is how you deal with the anger that matters. The impression you are giving me is that the anger is manifesting as blame and that everyone else is wrong.

The whole thread is about you and how you can cope and nothing about how you can serve him and submit to the process he is very obviously trying to teach you.

We don't always get to do what we like, or what we want - but we submit to what he chooses and decides. You submitted to a person who seems through this post to not be compatable with you. This isn't pity, nor is it bashing - however you do seem to keep repeating what you want, what you can deal with and what you will get because he will 'apologise'. I would really recommend you try not to focus on yourself, but on your Master and if you can't do that, then question whether you really should be in this relationship.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to meticulousgirl)

Post #: 62

RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/22/2008 6:57:48 AM

alandraofMists

Posts: 187
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: meticulousgirl

alandra all that i'm going to say is that i'm not going to twist this thread by saying what your thinking i'm going to say or interpretting this as, your reading more into it than what there really is and mind you some people live this lifestyle differently than others, my Owner tends to live it differently than i do, my mindest is much deeper at times than His when it comes to certain things, and His is deeper than mine it just depends on the particular interest in question.

I would not presume to put words into your mouth... I asked an honest question, the way the statement was read about "comfort" made me question it. I ask for clarification so that I would not read more into it then was meant.

quote:

He has never had an interest in after care, so that's what i have always seen the end of the night, in His arms in bed as.

I see this statement as totally different then "the only comfort i ever get" I can understand better that you see this as the only aftercare thet you receive after play.

quote:

i mean dont get me wrong there are other times that Him and i are just "normal" and then i can hold him like a teddy bear all i want not in D's mode but, lately His sadistic side is coming out much more than ever before, and there are certain things i feel like i can and cant handle. This being one of them, i would much rather slowly be broken into this due to the emotional paranoia if you will of the past.........

~meticulous~

Thank you for clearing that up a little bit more

Knight's Alandra

(in reply to meticulousgirl)

Post #: 63

RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/22/2008 11:41:16 AM

meticulousgirl

Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline

i never said that i thought it was punnishment, to me it felt like punnishment but i dont see it as that.

People tend to read more into your words so i'm not going to get bitter about this whole thing, it's easy to misinterpret them when you dont know someone and even if you do.

as far as me not being submissive, that's a load of crap. i'm not in this for myself and trust me if i was, i would have left Him a long time ago at this point i think i'm actually quite selfless, my needs, my wants, my fantasies are never discussed or played upon, it has been about Him and what He wants for over 5 years, and if i wasn't happy with that yes i would have walked away..i want complete slavery, i didn't come here to have a pitty party and i said that, i came here asking for advice to make this easier on me emotionally so that in return my reaction to the floor wouldn't be one in which could be seen as disrespectful or possibly even disobedient.

submission and slavery is not always easy and i get that 100%, it's not always easy for me and i have had issues submitting to certain things over the last 6 years but, this by far has been the toughest that hasn't been in the punnishment arena.

Which leads me to my next statement, when people come on to these sites they dont need to be told that they aren't submissive, or that they are....they come on here looking for answers to their questions and i rarely see threads that get started and dont end in a hijack about how the person is not a submissive etc....come on we are suppose to be here to support each other not misinterpret others words. i take it offensively because i have been on here for so long, and i am always one of the people that comes back with a non negative response to the poster.

I'm not really seeing how me asking for advice on ways to get over the emotional factor of this could cause so many people to turn around and say oh well your not submissive, or the multitude of other negative things that have been said. i can hack criticism God knows i get it from M.S. at least once a week but, when the criticizm comes from people that barely know you that's when it gets borderline rude and offensive and that's when i start taking it that way.

a question is a question i'm not sure why we have to turn it into something else so often. Especially when the question is asked to improve their "relationship" with their partner.....

~meticulous~

(in reply to alandraofMists)

Post #: 64

RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/22/2008 12:24:28 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

And the general statement overall was constructive. Don't post if you think you may not like the answers, no one owes you a pat on the back and a hug.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to meticulousgirl)

Post #: 65

RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/22/2008 12:37:07 PM

meticulousgirl

Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline

dont post if i dont like the answers to what?

to something that wasn't even the question....i'm not the one that turned it into something different than what it was. It was a question on how to avoid the emotions when it happens.......nothing more nothing less.

i never said i didn't want to submit to it, i never said that i didn't want to do it period but, that's what it was turned into and not by any fault of mine....i think i was actually quite clear on that part.

~meticulous~

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 66

RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/22/2008 12:45:03 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

The basic advice from experiuenced subs and slaves you are being given is this: When you start feeling this way-you just do this.

Tell yourself "It's not the end of the world and nothing has really changed, I need to quit enabling myself to react in ways that allow me to be weak."

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to meticulousgirl)

Post #: 67

RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/22/2008 3:05:37 PM

alandraofMists

Posts: 187
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: meticulousgirl

i never said that i thought it was punnishment, to me it felt like punnishment but i dont see it as that.

People tend to read more into your words so i'm not going to get bitter about this whole thing, it's easy to misinterpret them when you dont know someone and even if you do.

as far as me not being submissive, that's a load of crap. i'm not in this for myself and trust me if i was, i would have left Him a long time ago at this point i think i'm actually quite selfless, my needs, my wants, my fantasies are never discussed or played upon, it has been about Him and what He wants for over 5 years, and if i wasn't happy with that yes i would have walked away..i want complete slavery, i didn't come here to have a pitty party and i said that, i came here asking for advice to make this easier on me emotionally so that in return my reaction to the floor wouldn't be one in which could be seen as disrespectful or possibly even disobedient.

submission and slavery is not always easy and i get that 100%, it's not always easy for me and i have had issues submitting to certain things over the last 6 years but, this by far has been the toughest that hasn't been in the punnishment arena.

Which leads me to my next statement, when people come on to these sites they dont need to be told that they aren't submissive, or that they are....they come on here looking for answers to their questions and i rarely see threads that get started and dont end in a hijack about how the person is not a submissive etc....come on we are suppose to be here to support each other not misinterpret others words. i take it offensively because i have been on here for so long, and i am always one of the people that comes back with a non negative response to the poster.

I'm not really seeing how me asking for advice on ways to get over the emotional factor of this could cause so many people to turn around and say oh well your not submissive, or the multitude of other negative things that have been said. i can hack criticism God knows i get it from M.S. at least once a week but, when the criticizm comes from people that barely know you that's when it gets borderline rude and offensive and that's when i start taking it that way.

a question is a question i'm not sure why we have to turn it into something else so often. Especially when the question is asked to improve their "relationship" with their partner.....

~meticulous~

Is this post in responce to my post or someone else?

Knight's Alandra

(in reply to meticulousgirl)

Post #: 68

RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/22/2008 5:05:04 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I can only answer on what you have written, and I am going to sound harsh. ..........

*** Blink Blink *****

that was Harsh? ... mmmmmm I wonder if my standards are too high....

mmmmmmmm

**** slips bloody hammer into the.dark's hand **** wiping finger prints off first of course....

here the.dark... use that..... remember practice makes prefect.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 69

RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/25/2008 12:34:12 AM

EvilKitty

Posts: 148
Joined: 7/13/2006
From: Tampa Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: meticulousgirl

the floor is and always has been a hard limit and He knows it.....as i've said before, being in bed with Him at the end of the night is the only form of comfort He has ever allowed me...it's a big deal to me but, i'm not sure that He realizes just how big of a deal.

but then again....i have no limits anymore grrrrrrr.
~meticulous~

I do apologize for butting in....but. This is a HARD LIMIT & HE KNOWS IT? It is not my place to criticize someone I do not know, but I am VERY uneasy. Personally, I would have to have some extensive negotiations with my submissive before approaching any of his hard limits.
I'll go now! Lady Cat -the Evil Kitty

_____________________________

Save the Earth! It's the Only Planet with Chocolate!

(in reply to meticulousgirl)

Post #: 70

RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 2/25/2008 12:48:29 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

**** slips bloody hammer into the.dark's hand **** wiping finger prints off first of course....

here the.dark... use that..... remember practice makes prefect.

I was trying to be kind, but seeing the following response given by the OP, I might just make use of that hammer... but I doubt that it would assist. The OP is too stuck in the throws of me,me,me-ism.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 71

RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 3/1/2008 2:29:35 PM

goodgirlkitten

Posts: 15
Joined: 8/18/2007
Status: offline

i had been mentored by Someone who enjoyed me being on the floor, kneeling or laying, etc. Although it was discussed, it ended up the choice for the bed was made by the end of the night. The first night after losing my Mentor i spent three nights on the floor. Although in that context He was no longer in my life, it made being without Him less hard. It made me feel very submissive and fulfilled. i know that sounds absolutely crazy. But i wished to feel the familiarity of the floor in which He adored me on, versus an empty bed. So i am unsure what it would be like to be ordered there, but i would much rather be on the floor, blanket or no blanket, if it meant i could feel that feeling of being so much for Anothers pleasure and amusement and the fulfillmetnt that comes from it, than in my bed alone now.

(in reply to meticulousgirl)

Post #: 72

RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 3/10/2008 8:41:22 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

my M'Lady has me sleep at her feet when were out but the nights at home i sleep on the living room floor, one of the house rules is I'm not allowed in her bedchamber(were a poly family) M'Ladys previous pet had a foam mattress that i now use. i know id rather be at her feet all night but I'm in the place she tucked me into so I'm content

(in reply to meticulousgirl)

Post #: 73

RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 3/11/2008 5:13:31 AM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

meticulousgirl,
I understand you are frustrated with some of the answers here. Although my answer may be along a different vain than those, I hope I do not anger you with it. It is only my opinion, my perception, based on my experience and on who I am, which is all I can offer.
I know I love sleeping on the floor. It is not comfortable and I do not sleep well, but I love being there. One thing that helps is being by his side of the bed, very near him, with the sense that he could reach down and touch me if he wished, and pet or stroke his pet. I think you were farther from his side, so that might be one thing that would make it easier.
But there were some other things I noticed. You mentioned that you are not 24/7 at this time. That would naturally make it harder to give up your time together in bed, because it is already limited.
I believe you shared that your Master really does not believe in aftercare. I consider aftercare essential. I know plenty of people will disagree with this statement, and that is fine, it is only my own opinion. But I believe insufficient aftercare causes subdrop. Of those who will say that is absolutely wrong, not only am I quite sure that they are correct, for themselves, but I am not sure that I am correct, at all. It is only what I perceive from my experience. But I think you are using your time together in bed to be your aftercare, so, if you are sent to the floor, you do not get any. And it sounds to me like you are subdropping.
Also, I really understand your problem with associating it with punishment. We do things with our minds, sometimes that Master plants there, sometimes quite on our own, by accident. But your Master is giving you somewhat mixed messages on this. If I told my Master that I associate corner time with punishment and having done something wrong, and he chose to have me do it just because he wanted it, that would be fine, but I might need a little help processing it - at least his reassurance that it was not a punishment and that I was and am still his good girl. If his reassurance sounded like, 'It's not a punishment. I am doing it cause I want to, and that is my perogitive. Of course, I am quite unhappy that you did XYZ, but that is not the issue. quit bothering me with this ridiculous idea that you are being punished when I said you are not.' - that probably would not help. There is a bit of a mixed message in there, I'm afraid.
Anyway, I hope I have not offended you. These are simply my perceptions on why I might have problems with what you are struggling with, if I were in your place.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to LPslittleclip)

Post #: 74

RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 3/11/2008 8:43:35 AM

LilMissHaven

Posts: 734
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline

If used as a punishment I was made to lay on the garage floor. These nights were spent more in tears then sleeping. Probably not going to be the right reason but not because my X Master was angry with me but more because I was pissed at myself for failing at something. Trust me nobody can judge me harder then I judge myself.

I have a rather peculiar attraction to legs so when Master had a busy schedule the next day I was made to sleep on the floor near the bed. Now I'm pretty much what I'd call a "roller" meaning I roll with the punches. He wants me to sleep on the floor...Ok whatever and off to sleep I go. He's happy, I'm happy I'm not in the garage ... we're good to go pretty much was my theory on that one.

_____________________________

I must first learn to master myself, before I can truly be owned by one.

(in reply to meticulousgirl)

Post #: 75

RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 3/11/2008 12:10:46 PM

Merces

Posts: 2
Joined: 2/22/2008
Status: offline

From a Dom's point of view, obedience is everything. Do you wish He see you as having great value to Him??? Obedience engenders fondness in a Dom and Obedience has value to HIM. As some other thread pointed out, it isn't necessarily a punishment for you, but maybe a test of your desire to obey (from His point of view) and I wouldn't ask him!!!

(in reply to meticulousgirl)

Post #: 76

RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 3/11/2008 9:34:25 PM

precious4Sir

Posts: 9
Joined: 9/23/2007
Status: offline

i agree with softness... you just need to change your mindset about it. you can't help that feel it's a punishment, but if it's not don't make it one. Maybe He just simply wants the bed to Himself for the night. you could, as some have advised, ask why; but the "WHY" of it is really irrelevant.

After staying with my Master the last time a few weeks ago, He told me that i am getting to comfortable about getting in/on HIS bed any time i feel like it. Therefore, when i see Him this weekend, i will be sleeping on the floor to remind myself that HIS bed is a privilege and that i have no rights to it unless i am invited into it.

He also has me sleep on the floor on His side of the bed at times just so that when His feet hit the floor i am to be kneeling ready to service Him.

i don't know what to tell you other than, sleep on the floor by His side and be happy that He still wants you close by in case He needs something.

_____________________________

Owned slave of AJT

(in reply to meticulousgirl)

Post #: 77

RE: For those of you who have had to sleep on the floor - 3/13/2008 8:23:00 PM

focalss

Posts: 164
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I think this is a good topic. I don't have a mistress and I would prefer to sleep with her if I did. For training or discipline I think it would be an excellent way to emphasize our roles if she did want me to sleep on the floor from time to time. Punishment might be naked without a blanket or pillow or chained.

If it is a limit for you then you have to think about your relationship or renegotiate it. Sleeping on the floor all the time would be a hard limit for me but a few days a week or other times to me would be within her right and I do not consider myself a slave.

If it is something that he does just to hurt you then there is a big problem. If he is doing it for a purpose, even if it is just his pleasure then to me it is within his right.

(in reply to precious4Sir)

Post #: 78

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