CalifChick
Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
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The last time we did the "your funniest moment"... I told of my fire dude incident. Being that we were talking about men in uniform on another thread, here is my contribution to the "oops" genre:
A long time ago in my wild and crazy youth, I was at a work convention and met up with a regular "friend". One of the perks of being the convention organizer was that I had a suite. In this particular hotel, most of the suites were on the first floor. The ceilings were very very high, same height as in the ballrooms. And my suite was very close to the front desk. All of this will be important in a minute.
So I have handcuffed and tied my friend to the bed and we were having a good time. Suddenly the smoke alarm in my room goes off. Not the fire alarm that is hardwired but the smoke alarm. So, what to do... get it to stop, or take the time to release friend from the bed. My split-second decision was to get it to stop. So I picked up my shoes (first thing I could grab) and stand on the bed, and try throwing them at the smoke alarm. I threw everything I could get my hands on at the darn thing. Friend is laughing hysterically at me standing on the bed, jumping and trying to hit the damn alarm! The ceiling was very high remember.
Then comes the knock on the door. Oh keerap. At this point I have the ice bucket in my hands and heave it at the ceiling. Direct hit, the whole alarm comes down and stops blaring. WHAM the ice bucket hits the floor. The knocking gets more persistent and I hear them calling, "HELLO? IS ANYBODY IN THERE? DO YOU NEED HELP?" Thank god for security locks, because they were trying to open the door at that point. Friend is no longer laughing but now begging me to uncuff him. I go to the nightstand while hollering "YES I'M FINE I'LL BE RIGHT THERE". The cuff keys are no longer on the nightstand. They fell down between the nightstand and the bed and I can't reach them. He is begging me to let him loose.
So I throw on a robe, tell him to SHUT UP, throw a blanket over his naked body and run out of the bedroom, slamming the door behind me, and run to the door of the suite, which they are still pounding on. I open the door and there is the front desk manager, the maintenance guy, random guests gathered behind them (the suites opened up onto an atrium lobby), I look up into the atrium (15 or 20 stories) and see people gathered along the walkways peering over the railings, and the fire department dudes are coming thru the lobby. Jeeeeeezus. I try to convince them that everything is fine but the fire department wants to take a look around.
I grab the fire department guy that looks like he is in charge and pull him aside and tell him that nothing having to do with fire was going on, but that I wasn't comfortable letting a hundred people into the bedroom because I had "company." And he says, I swear on all that is holy.... "let me guess, you have a guy tied to your bed." The stunned look on my face says it all.
He turns around and tells everybody else to get out, he will handle this. And he closes the main door into the suite. So we go to the bedroom door, and find that it is locked. How I managed to lock it when I ran out of it, I have no freakin idea. So fire dude goes BACK out and comes back with a pokey thingy to unlock the door. Can my embarrassment get ANY worse???
So we go in together and fire dude can't stop laughing. Guy on the bed is NOT laughing. Fire dude drags the bed away from the wall and retrieves the cuff keys and hands them to me. I unlock the cuffs and fire dude shakes my friend's hand and says something to the effect of "lucky dude... I don't even WANT to know if you all are usually this smokin hot". Ha ha, everyone is a comedian. Then he takes a glance around, and he sees... shoes everywhere, ice bucket, briefcase, books, all those things I tried throwing at the smoke alarm... and he says, "no... I do NOT want to know." Then he tells me to call them if I need anything (oy!) and "have a nice night".
He picks up the smoke alarm from the floor and he and I walk out. He hands the smoke alarm to the maintenance dude and tells him to fix it tomorrow, we've had enough excitement for one night. Ya think??
The next day, I got lots of looks and giggles. I just smiled and said "I'm smokin hot, what can I say." SIGH.
Cali
< Message edited by CalifChick -- 2/19/2008 5:12:22 PM >
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AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll
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RE: BDSM Bloopers - 
Profile
I went down to my car and got my toolbox and carried it back up to the room and got a pair of spreaders (the kind you use to spread old-type automotic clamps apart). With the eye-widening that occurred with those, I knew that what she was really thinking was something along the lines of "Just what the HELL are you going to do with those?" Instead, she said a bit quaveringly "ummmmmmmm...Sir...what do you have in mind here? Could you let me in on it?" By this time, tears are coming down her face and I explained to her as quickly as I could what I was going to do and what I needed her to do. I set the tool up...applied the pressure and she pulled away, all the while screaming as blood flowed back into her little pearl. 
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