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RE: Need Feedback please - 2/20/2008 9:51:36 AM

subsnow

Posts: 152
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline

I would have to agree with everything that littlebitxxx said. The relationship that this other woman has with your Master is very different from the relationship that you have with him. She might call him "dad" every now and then but it doesn't seem to be on a regular basis. It doesn't seem like your Master thinks much of it either. She looks at him more as a mentor or someone to look up to. To me, "dad" is a rather unemotional term. "Daddy" seems more...oh I don't know...deep? I think it has more value to it.

You should try calling him Daddy and see what happens. Put yourself into that "little girl" headspace and do it then. It might be easier for you. Get into a nice thick diaper and put your hair into pigtails. If you don't have a pacifier, go pick one up. Sit on the couch and watch cartoons. Do some coloring. Do this all before Daddy gets home to get you to that place where you feel warm and cozy. When he arrives, give him a big smile and open your arms up wide for a hug. Say "Hewwo Daddy! I wanda BIG hug!"*shrugs* It might help. I had some issues calling my boyfriend "Daddy" to begin with and this is what helped me. I just didn't think about it. I just did it.

I'd like to add that it might be helpful for you to see someone about your problem. It sounds to me like you might have some unresolved issues left over from your childhood. The fact that you have a deep desire for your Master to take the role of father also indicates to me that something might have happened to you in your earlier years. I 'm a little girl too. My boyfriend is my Daddy. I was emotionally and psychologically abused as a kid which, I think, has caused me to have these desire to be "little" again. Seeing someone about it might help you in other areas of your life as well. Just a thought.

(in reply to Sundowner)

Post #: 21

RE: Need Feedback please - 2/20/2008 11:11:28 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

Its just that it "feels" like this is supposed to be special and mine..... and its not special....and its certainly not feeling like mine....It feels like its been every bodies....the other women before me...and this friend He has, that sees Him as a "dad"....

But with that sort of thinking you'd only be able to have a relationship with someone who has never had a relationship. Just because he shared this dynamic with others doesn't mean that what you have will be exactly the same. You are not like the others. Find value is what you bring to the relationship.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 22

RE: Need Feedback please - 2/20/2008 12:16:03 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

I just wish I knew WHY I felt this badly about it...

maybe you feel badly about it because of your strong feelings regarding what you perceive to be selfish-self-important behaviors or attitudes on behalf of the submissive in a relationship.

your issue revolves completely around you and it could just be that the last thing on earth you would want to do would be to appear as if you were someone who, to paraphrase your own words regarding your feelings about those that utilize third person speech, "sounds like they are really stuck on themselves....like they are all self important...".

just a thought.

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 23

RE: Need Feedback please - 2/20/2008 12:47:04 PM

TracyTaken

Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

This made me cry....and I know I sound like an illogical selfish asshole.....I just wish I knew WHY I felt this badly about it...

If that's how you talk to yourself, I'm not surprised you feel really bad.

You need to be nice to you.

A family friend calls my husband dad, and it doesn't mean a thing except that she feels an attachment to him. It is not a mutual connection.

I admit though, the first time I heard my daughter call her mother-in-law "Mom," my heart almost shattered. How fragile we are ... those of us who are really just little girls inside.

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 24

RE: Need Feedback please - 2/20/2008 1:32:20 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

subsnow Thanks for the suggestion. I have been in counseling, prehaps a "tune-up" is needed.
KatyLied I know it sounds like that, I don't know why iy bugs me so much.
Mercnbeth, I don't feel badly about the submission part of the relationship at all, in fact thats a very good part of Our relationship. And guilty as charged for sounding and appearing selfish. I am struggling very had to let go of this issues....and I'm losing terribly.
TracyTaken I don't really feel badly about me as a person, so much as how I am reacting to this situation. Like that twinge you felt about your child calling another "mom"...Its right like that. Its something I am hoping my common sense will kick in with and help me make sense of it so I can put this to bed.

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to TracyTaken)

Post #: 25

RE: No more Daddy? - 2/20/2008 2:19:18 PM

BlackPhx

Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline

Honey she has always been there, hiding behind the capable Mother, Woman and Person you have been. Her voice was likely silenced when you were first told "Big Girls Don't Cry." Give her balloons and teddy bears and kites you let free carrying your problems into the sky and share it with your Master. Most of all, let her speak to him, before you lock away the feelings and they do not heal.

He needs to hear it from you and from her.

poenkitten (who has let a few kites go in her life)

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 26

RE: Need Feedback please - 2/20/2008 2:28:02 PM

StormsSlave

Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline

Aww...breathes as one...I'm sorry. I have nothing to contribute except my sympathy. As a person who tends to get upset over things that I KNOW to be illogical, I wish to give you a big hug and a kiss on the head. Since I can't give you that, I send you lots of virtual hugs and sympathy.

(in reply to Sundowner)

Post #: 27

RE: No more Daddy? - 2/20/2008 2:30:11 PM

subsnow

Posts: 152
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackPhx

Honey she has always been there, hiding behind the capable Mother, Woman and Person you have been. Her voice was likely silenced when you were first told "Big Girls Don't Cry." Give her balloons and teddy bears and kites you let free carrying your problems into the sky and share it with your Master. Most of all, let her speak to him, before you lock away the feelings and they do not heal.

He needs to hear it from you and from her.

poenkitten (who has let a few kites go in her life)

Ok, THIS made me want to cry because it's something that I need to do too.

(in reply to BlackPhx)

Post #: 28

RE: No more Daddy? - 2/20/2008 2:40:18 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subsnow

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackPhx

Honey she has always been there, hiding behind the capable Mother, Woman and Person you have been. Her voice was likely silenced when you were first told "Big Girls Don't Cry." Give her balloons and teddy bears and kites you let free carrying your problems into the sky and share it with your Master. Most of all, let her speak to him, before you lock away the feelings and they do not heal.

He needs to hear it from you and from her.

poenkitten (who has let a few kites go in her life)

Ok, THIS made me want to cry because it's something that I need to do too.

Yep....my eyes are about swollen shut from crying today...and I'm hormonal to boot...just shoot me!

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to subsnow)

Post #: 29

RE: No more Daddy? - 2/20/2008 3:02:50 PM

SubbieOnWheels

Posts: 590
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline

`

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackPhx

Honey she has always been there, hiding behind the capable Mother, Woman and Person you have been. Her voice was likely silenced when you were first told "Big Girls Don't Cry." Give her balloons and teddy bears and kites you let free carrying your problems into the sky and share it with your Master. Most of all, let her speak to him, before you lock away the feelings and they do not heal.

He needs to hear it from you and from her.

poenkitten (who has let a few kites go in her life)

I always love it when I see a post from you - you are a poet!

_____________________________

Bethical
Beat me, strike me, take away my reindeer! I'll never tell! -- Walt Kelly, Pogo Possum
I yam what I yam - Popeye

http://www.myspace.com/bethical_wheels

(in reply to BlackPhx)

Post #: 30

RE: No more Daddy? - 2/20/2008 3:09:17 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

SubbieOnWheels indeed she (poekitten) is....

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to SubbieOnWheels)

Post #: 31

RE: No more Daddy? - 2/20/2008 3:20:54 PM

lronitulstahp

Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline

let me say this...i saw the thread topic...saw you as the OP...and actually felt sad, because i thought your relationship was over. (i need a life) So on the bright side...you have your "Daddy". She just calls him "dad". And i am glad that you still...breatheasone. Isn't THAT the important part? And don't you dare scare me like that again little girl!!!

(Smiles)

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 32

RE: No more Daddy? - 2/20/2008 3:43:52 PM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

let me say this...i saw the thread topic...saw you as the OP...and actually felt sad, because i thought your relationship was over. (i need a life) So on the bright side...you have your "Daddy". She just calls him "dad". And i am glad that you still...breatheasone. Isn't THAT the important part? And don't you dare scare me like that again little girl!!! (Smiles)

Yeah! Me too dang it. Don't dooooooo that. There isn't much I can add because it has all been said much better than I could say it but it IS a totally different thing with her. I understand it being your word for him, your emotion and love wrapped up in it.

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to lronitulstahp)

Post #: 33

RE: No more Daddy? - 2/20/2008 3:53:34 PM

TysGalilah

Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline

hugggz to you
( and yes I just got done doing that on a different post LOL ohhh well cant have too many hugz right? )

Lilbit said it sooooo well and I agree !! Dad is not the same as the feeling/emotion/intent/pride/love/devotion that goes into why and how you call him Daddy.
Nor does it FEEL the same to him when he hears it from her and then from you, either..
ok I just spoke for your master LOL oh hell...but I would guess he would say that same thing ..

Read her post over and over again and try to believe...

When I was a little girl, my gramma Rose was one of those grandmas that was every kid on the blocks "grandma Rose" ...
even my mom, her own daughter > called her "gram" ever since I can remember.

I remember a conversation I ended up having with her, in tears. I didn't want anyone to call her that anymore ( stomps on ground and sniffs real hard) was my main point to her, amidst hiccups.. " you are MY gramma, gramma!"

she hugged me to her and said
now hush and listen...to all those people I am "gram or grandma" because that is the name they know to call me... but I am YOUR grammaRose and only YOU are my granddaughter, we are special to each other and there is love wrapped around the name when you say it to me".

I remember that like it was yesterday.
it helped me then...
and I felt a difference after that when I used her name..because I knew what she was thinkin when she heard it come from me.

That woman calls him "dad" as a name.
You call him daddy with a whole set of meanings and feelings wrapped around it.
YOU are HIS...
he didn't even remember to put signifigance on what she calls him.
That says it all : )

No harm, no foul. Unless you insist on attaching baggage to something that isn't even there.

If you really can't get passed this
perhaps another term that means "father or daddy" ??
papa?
my daddy ?

_____________________________

galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 34

RE: No more Daddy? - 2/20/2008 4:00:50 PM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

let me say this...i saw the thread topic...saw you as the OP...and actually felt sad, because i thought your relationship was over. (i need a life) So on the bright side...you have your "Daddy". She just calls him "dad". And i am glad that you still...breatheasone. Isn't THAT the important part? And don't you dare scare me like that again little girl!!! (Smiles)

Yeah! Me too dang it. Don't dooooooo that. There isn't much I can add because it has all been said much better than I could say it but it IS a totally different thing with her. I understand it being your word for him, your emotion and love wrapped up in it.

Yea, me too. You are normally so level headed and such a nice person, so I'll be gentle

But come on girl! Many are called dad, but very few are daddies. Hes a good daddy and a good man. So count your blessings and be grateful to be the little girl of a man that everyone recognized as the right stuff to be a father figure to those who need one.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 35

RE: Need Feedback please - 2/20/2008 4:04:42 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

subsnow Thanks for the suggestion. I have been in counseling, prehaps a "tune-up" is needed.
KatyLied I know it sounds like that, I don't know why iy bugs me so much.
Mercnbeth, I don't feel badly about the submission part of the relationship at all, in fact thats a very good part of Our relationship. And guilty as charged for sounding and appearing selfish. I am struggling very had to let go of this issues....and I'm losing terribly.
TracyTaken I don't really feel badly about me as a person, so much as how I am reacting to this situation. Like that twinge you felt about your child calling another "mom"...Its right like that. Its something I am hoping my common sense will kick in with and help me make sense of it so I can put this to bed.

Stop struggling with it....it is what it is....it is how you feel.
Irrational or not...that is how you feel.
It is.

But it is not your enemy; just a place within yourself where you can appreciate the human-ness of you....

You want to be special...and yet you ARE special.
The special-ness isn't confined to the word.
What he is to you has not changed, nor what you are to him.

He is still who he was...before.
You are still you.

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 36

RE: Need Feedback please - 2/20/2008 4:16:31 PM

TracyTaken

Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline

Lovely thoughts, angelikaJ.

I'd like to add that feelings and common sense don't mix much, in my experience.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 37

RE: Need Feedback please - 2/20/2008 4:20:39 PM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

subsnow Thanks for the suggestion. I have been in counseling, prehaps a "tune-up" is needed.
KatyLied I know it sounds like that, I don't know why iy bugs me so much.
Mercnbeth, I don't feel badly about the submission part of the relationship at all, in fact thats a very good part of Our relationship. And guilty as charged for sounding and appearing selfish. I am struggling very had to let go of this issues....and I'm losing terribly.
TracyTaken I don't really feel badly about me as a person, so much as how I am reacting to this situation. Like that twinge you felt about your child calling another "mom"...Its right like that. Its something I am hoping my common sense will kick in with and help me make sense of it so I can put this to bed.

Stop struggling with it....it is what it is....it is how you feel.
Irrational or not...that is how you feel.
It is.

But it is not your enemy; just a place within yourself where you can appreciate the human-ness of you....

You want to be special...and yet you ARE special.
The special-ness isn't confined to the word.
What he is to you has not changed, nor what you are to him.

He is still who he was...before.
You are still you.

These words are elegant and poignant. Very wise indeed.

You ARE special. We all think you are special. You have everything it takes.

If you only realized how lovely you are.....

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 38

RE: Need Feedback please - 2/20/2008 4:20:44 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

I get it....Honest. When I began to see that this dynamic(Daddy/little girl) wasn't sick and twisted....it came in waves I wanna say....the MORE people talked about it...the more I understood....I think thats what this is going to be like...I already feel the knot loosening....its just not completely untangled yet.... By God don't count me out yet folks!....geez this is so much like WORK....

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 39

RE: Need Feedback please - 2/20/2008 4:25:57 PM

TracyTaken

Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

geez this is so much like WORK...

I know exactly what you mean. The inside work is the hardest kind.

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 40

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