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RE: Need Feedback please - 2/21/2008 9:12:41 AM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Okay, lets look at what we know.

You had a strong reaction AGAINST "daddy play" when you first heard about it. WHY?
Because how could ANYONE make "fun" playing with a daddy that way? It certainly wasn't fun for me when I was growing up.

You started to get interested (perhaps as your trust in the relationship grew?)
Well...I began to see that it wasn't sexual...that it was about intimacy, yes and trust.

It was very emotional when you did it and you felt wonderful.
Yes...but I was SCARED to death and I felt a bit awkward.

THEN you found out there was ANOTHER and you again had a strong reaction against it.
Yes...and this is what I need to quit focusing on. Easier said than done.

SO, the question is, what was your relationship with your father like?
Its wasn't great.

Basically, what did he do or not do that caused you to react AGAINST the idea until you found out it could be given by someone you actually do trust and love, in which case you embraced it?
I'd rather not get into it, but my dad wasn't a nice guy much.

You need to find answers to those questions.

A note of encouragement. Don't rush, you have a lifetime together. There are things BSB wants to do for me that I am not ready for her to do for me, some things she wants me to do to her that she isn't quite ready for. We don't rush, we have a lifetime to explore together, so do you. Enjoy and relax into it.

This is so true....sometimes I need to remember that Master and I are not in a race....and we don't need to do everything in the 1st year!...

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RE: No more Daddy? - 2/21/2008 9:31:10 AM

Leatherist

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Sounds like you need to work on jealousy.

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RE: No more Daddy? - 2/21/2008 9:57:04 AM

swtnsparkling

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FR
trying to rationalize/figure out why you feel this way a bunch of hullabaloo
Jealous plain n simple

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RE: No more Daddy? - 2/21/2008 11:33:20 AM

breatheasone

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Leatherist and swtnsparkling I'm sure thats all it is....perhaps I just need a thicker skin.

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RE: No more Daddy? - 2/21/2008 11:39:58 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Breath part of you seems to thrive on chaos- can you teach yourself to thrive on a bit more peace and boringness?

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RE: No more Daddy? - 2/21/2008 12:11:06 PM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Breath part of you seems to thrive on chaos- can you teach yourself to thrive on a bit more peace and boringness?

No chaos....just looking for feed back about this situation...and I have really appreciated the support. More than I can say, I have come to admire and respect quite a few people from here....you know who you are!

Thank you for being a community that can be supportive and giving.

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RE: No more Daddy? - 2/21/2008 12:17:16 PM

swtnsparkling

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quote:

perhaps I just need a thicker skin

IMO jealousy stems from insecurity
thicker skin will just allow you to say your ok with it when you know your not

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RE: No more Daddy? - 2/21/2008 12:23:48 PM

laurell3

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As reality would have it you are where you are and who you are. Criticising you for being there isn't really helpful to you is it? As I stated above the two of you have been through worse than this and been able to resolve it. It could be jealousy, it could be insecurity, it could be self-imposed drama because you are scared, it could be your pickle and something you really need. I don't know and neither does anyone else here. You do. Talk to him again and have faith that the two of you will resolve this.

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RE: No more Daddy? - 2/21/2008 12:25:10 PM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

quote:

perhaps I just need a thicker skin

IMO jealousy stems from insecurity
thicker skin will just allow you to say your ok with it when you know your not

Understood...and working on the insecurities as we speak....however acquiring a thicker skin in during the process probably wouldn't hurt!

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RE: No more Daddy? - 2/21/2008 9:09:44 PM

SimplyMichael

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Your issue has almost nothing to do with jeoulosy even though that is the most obvious emotion you are feeling.

Your responses to my question scream out the answer to me.

Your father was abusive and so the thought of daddy play (thinking it was somehow about playing with your biological father) was not only abhorent but terrifying. Then you discover a man who is unlike your father and is instead a good guy who nurtures you AND you relook at daddy play and see that you could reexperience/remake your childhood and you get all excited and happy.

The other woman evokes a powerful reaction. I would bet that somehow that other woman evoked not jealousy but something your father did or didn't do. Your emotions aren't triggered so much by the other woman as how that evokes memories of your father's actions. Now I ain't a shrink but I am pretty good at this stuff.

Okay, here is a thought. What you and your master share is a personal intimacy, but what he shared with her was SEX and what you share with your master in that daddy space is, I bet, less sexual and more playful/nurturing?

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