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RE: Need Feedback please - 2/20/2008 4:28:37 PM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TracyTaken

quote:

geez this is so much like WORK...

I know exactly what you mean. The inside work is the hardest kind.

Yes ma'am....Fortunately I have been on this kind of trek before...I just have to dust off my tools, and put them to work it seems....

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RE: Need Feedback please - 2/20/2008 4:31:17 PM

lusciouslips19

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

I get it....Honest. When I began to see that this dynamic(Daddy/little girl) wasn't sick and twisted....it came in waves I wanna say....the MORE people talked about it...the more I understood....I think thats what this is going to be like...I already feel the knot loosening....its just not completely untangled yet.... By God don't count me out yet folks!....geez this is so much like WORK....

Dealing with emotional issues in like unpeeling an onion. You do it layer by layer.

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Post #: 42

RE: Need Feedback please - 2/20/2008 4:36:11 PM

angelikaJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TracyTaken

Lovely thoughts, angelikaJ.

I'd like to add that feelings and common sense don't mix much, in my experience.

no they don't...but trying to stop struggling with something is like not thinking of pink elephants on demand.

Feelings aren't bad...but we make them our adversaries.

I do it all the time....guilty as charged..of being human.

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RE: Need Feedback please - 2/20/2008 4:38:58 PM

breatheasone

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For some reason that line Betty Davis said pops into my head..."Fasten your seatbelts its going to be a bumpy night"

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Post #: 44

RE: Need Feedback please - 2/20/2008 4:41:02 PM

angelikaJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: TracyTaken

quote:

geez this is so much like WORK...

I know exactly what you mean. The inside work is the hardest kind.

Yes ma'am....Fortunately I have been on this kind of trek before...I just have to dust off my tools, and put them to work it seems....

Now I know where to go when I need to borrow some tools....but I promise to return them.

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RE: Need Feedback please - 2/20/2008 4:42:23 PM

MissHarlet

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Growing up my Dad was called DaddyGene by all the kids in town .. but only Daddy by his own kids ... now he is GrandaddyGene to many and Grandaddy only to the grandkids and greatgrandkids...but we were all proud he was respected and loved and giveing to others but special to us.
Your Master served the other as a source of strength and support it seems and she thinks of him as a substitute dad ... YOU have that special place in his heart where he is Daddy ... that you share with no one...perhaps you can become proud that he was recognized as a nurturing strong man for someone in need .. but didnt give away that special place that he has given you.... He is Daddy ONLY TO YOU. He Chose YOU

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RE: Need Feedback please - 2/20/2008 4:46:38 PM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: TracyTaken

quote:

geez this is so much like WORK...

I know exactly what you mean. The inside work is the hardest kind.

Yes ma'am....Fortunately I have been on this kind of trek before...I just have to dust off my tools, and put them to work it seems....

Now I know where to go when I need to borrow some tools....but I promise to return them.

Anytime... but I'm kinda territorial when it comes to my hoe!

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RE: No more Daddy? - 2/20/2008 4:51:13 PM

laurell3

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Someone pull up that pickle thread again. Logic has nothing to do with it. Talk to him again. You've been through much worse than this, communicate and you will figure it out.

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Post #: 48

RE: Need Feedback please - 2/20/2008 4:53:46 PM

angelikaJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: TracyTaken

quote:

geez this is so much like WORK...

I know exactly what you mean. The inside work is the hardest kind.

Yes ma'am....Fortunately I have been on this kind of trek before...I just have to dust off my tools, and put them to work it seems....

Now I know where to go when I need to borrow some tools....but I promise to return them.

Anytime... but I'm kinda territorial when it comes to my hoe!

I will stay away from that....but the others....intelligence, kindness, compassion and even common sense...?

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RE: Need Feedback please - 2/20/2008 5:21:06 PM

breatheasone

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quote:

I will stay away from that....but the others....intelligence, kindness, compassion and even common sense...?

Those are treasures I hope we would all share with one another ....

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RE: Need Feedback please - 2/20/2008 5:24:59 PM

angelikaJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

I will stay away from that....but the others....intelligence, kindness, compassion and even common sense...?

Those are treasures I hope we would all share with one another ....

Indeed...
and thank you

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RE: No more Daddy? - 2/20/2008 6:15:18 PM

sharingMypeace

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Oh, how beautiful that you have finally let your guard down for the right one! I have been there myself and I found out the same as you that Daddy was exactly what I needed. What a relief it was and still is, every day of my life. Enjoy it. Don't force it. No matter what you call him, he is still Daddy.

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RE: No more Daddy? - 2/20/2008 8:46:26 PM

adaddysgirl

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breathe,

When my father was alive, he was like a father to everyone he knew. It's just how he was. He was a wonderful man and all my cousins looked at him as a father figure too. I suppose it should have been no surprise when one of my cousins asked him to walk her down the aisle (along with her father) when she got married. Well i was mortified! How dare she ask MY father to walk HER down the aisle when he hadn't even walked ME down the aisle yet (that bitch! lol). Anyhoo, when the time came, my father very graciously declined, saying that that day should be reserved for her father...he was very nice about it and there were no hard feelings. And yes, I was relieved but in retrospect, i guess i wouldn't really have minded if it had made my father happy in some way. i guess the saddest part was that he never got to walk ME down the aisle before he died

But my point is this....you, and you alone, are your Master's "lil girl" and no matter what anyone else calls him or what they consider him, in the end, you will be the only one who's his lil girl. What a wonderful position to be in, you lucky girl you!

So maybe instead of looking at it as "he's her Dad too", maybe you can look at it as YOU are really the only one who's his lil girl, and always will be. YOU are the special one.

Best wishes in getting past it....

Daddysgirl

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RE: No more Daddy? - 2/20/2008 9:08:08 PM

breatheasone

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Daddysgirl....thankyou for telling that story from your life. I really do "understand" what you are saying....I guess its like getting used to cold pool water LOL

I'm sorry for your loss too hun..

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RE: No more Daddy? - 2/20/2008 9:57:35 PM

Tapestry

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackPhx

Honey she has always been there, hiding behind the capable Mother, Woman and Person you have been. Her voice was likely silenced when you were first told "Big Girls Don't Cry." Give her balloons and teddy bears and kites you let free carrying your problems into the sky and share it with your Master. Most of all, let her speak to him, before you lock away the feelings and they do not heal.

He needs to hear it from you and from her.

poenkitten (who has let a few kites go in her life)

I've read this whole thread, and certainly nothing has been left out. And it sounds as if you've made great progress. But of everything written I think this is the key. That Little Girl who is hurting so badly (or maybe WAS hurting so badly) has always been there, and the best thing you can do is allow - no force her to talk to her Daddy about her hurt. There's no other way to really heal, and real healing for her is of utmost importance for you. For what she experiences ultimately makes itself reality in your life. Let her Daddy help her over this hurdle, so that you can be restored to balance. Neither your inner little girl nor you need ever feel badly about any emotion you have. Emotions are neither good nor bad, they just are. And we're all entitled to our emotions, so let them come, feel them, work through, and you will heal.
Blessings and Peace

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RE: No more Daddy? - 2/20/2008 10:33:08 PM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tapestry

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackPhx

Honey she has always been there, hiding behind the capable Mother, Woman and Person you have been. Her voice was likely silenced when you were first told "Big Girls Don't Cry." Give her balloons and teddy bears and kites you let free carrying your problems into the sky and share it with your Master. Most of all, let her speak to him, before you lock away the feelings and they do not heal.

He needs to hear it from you and from her.

poenkitten (who has let a few kites go in her life)

I've read this whole thread, and certainly nothing has been left out. And it sounds as if you've made great progress. But of everything written I think this is the key. That Little Girl who is hurting so badly (or maybe WAS hurting so badly) has always been there, and the best thing you can do is allow - no force her to talk to her Daddy about her hurt. There's no other way to really heal, and real healing for her is of utmost importance for you. For what she experiences ultimately makes itself reality in your life. Let her Daddy help her over this hurdle, so that you can be restored to balance. Neither your inner little girl nor you need ever feel badly about any emotion you have. Emotions are neither good nor bad, they just are. And we're all entitled to our emotions, so let them come, feel them, work through, and you will heal.
Blessings and Peace

That part zoomed in on me like a laser....I know I have to talk about this but I REALLY don't wanna....

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RE: No more Daddy? - 2/20/2008 10:47:06 PM

Tapestry

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

That part zoomed in on me like a laser....I know I have to talk about this but I REALLY don't wanna....

No whinng, lol
:)
just a big hugggggggggggggg
to give you courage
and a suggestion too - if talking face to face is hard, what about on the phone?
or how about writing him an email?
or a letter the old fashioned way?
I found the most amazing healing from life-long difficulties with my own Mother when my therapist had me write it all down in a letter. Just let it all out, let it flow stream of consciousness style even.
There's more than one way to skin a cat and if talking is too hard, try another way.
Blessings and Peace

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RE: No more Daddy? - 2/21/2008 6:12:01 AM

DesFIP

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I just noticed on the pet thread that he did that with you also. Claimed it was a special term just for the two of you and conveniently 'forgot' that he used it with others.

I have to wonder if this being a pattern isn't what's the true difficulty here.

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RE: No more Daddy? - 2/21/2008 6:27:11 AM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I just noticed on the pet thread that he did that with you also. Claimed it was a special term just for the two of you and conveniently 'forgot' that he used it with others.

I have to wonder if this being a pattern isn't what's the true difficulty here.

Yes....I have also considered if that is something that is also on my mind. I feel compelled to add...He never told me dad, daddy or the like was exclusive to me.

< Message edited by breatheasone -- 2/21/2008 6:28:41 AM >

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RE: Need Feedback please - 2/21/2008 8:42:31 AM

SimplyMichael

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Okay, lets look at what we know.

You had a strong reaction AGAINST "daddy play" when you first heard about it. WHY?

You started to get interested (perhaps as your trust in the relationship grew?)

It was very emotional when you did it and you felt wonderful.

THEN you found out there was ANOTHER and you again had a strong reaction against it.

SO, the question is, what was your relationship with your father like?
Basically, what did he do or not do that caused you to react AGAINST the idea until you found out it could be given by someone you actually do trust and love, in which case you embraced it?

You need to find answers to those questions.

A note of encouragement. Don't rush, you have a lifetime together. There are things BSB wants to do for me that I am not ready for her to do for me, some things she wants me to do to her that she isn't quite ready for. We don't rush, we have a lifetime to explore together, so do you. Enjoy and relax into it.

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