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RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 4:16:42 PM   
MstrssM4u


Posts: 11
Joined: 4/5/2005
Status: offline 		I  never tell a sub that I am talking to online or over the phone My real name. I agree whole heartdly with desfip. they all know Me as MsM anad that is just the way that I want it. when you know My real name that I use each and everyday you can bet that it is someone that I truly trust and they trust Me. why do I need to give My first name?slut will do Me just fine. that's what you are when you come to Me in the first place. like your real name is going to be used,lol.I am Not saying that you won't know My name, you just won't know it right then and there. Ms M is fine or yes Ma'am No Ma'am will do until further Notice.

Ms M

(in reply to TracyTaken)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 4:17:55 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Basically by not telling you her first name (and really unless her name is Oprah, how can you spot her among the 500 andrea's in her city), what she is really telling you is this;

"ok buddy, you are ok to chat with and maybe share fantasies with online but no way would I do you in real life.  You don't mean that much to me that I would want to share my name with you." 

Umm... I don't think age has anything to do with it.  It is her little way of keeping a barrier between you.  Online here, I am kyst.  In real life I have a regular name.  Most of my online buds know me as kyst.  My friends know me as Andrea. 
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: YourDomNow

The reason for my posting, was simple..I have been speaking with a 28yr old sub...that when asked more then once, wouldnt give her first name..I like to know WHO im talking to......
I dont think i was missing anything......


_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to YourDomNow)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 4:18:35 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

*looks around*

Who.... ME???



Hey TITS.......whats your name?

Jeff

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 4:25:32 PM   
brainiacsub


Posts: 1209
Joined: 11/11/2007
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		I have a very unique spelling of a very common first name. My mother, bless her fucking heart, spelled it phonetically and I've been stuck with it my whole life. Anyone could google my first name and find out an awful lot about me. When I first started exchanging messages on cm, I used to use only my initials. I have encountered more than a few who were offended that I would not reveal my real name. In spite of my screen name, I'm not always that bright and it never occurred to me to just make up a name, or better yet, offer the correct spelling of my real name and deal with explanations later. The point is, there are legitimate reasons why someone would not want to give out their real name. It is up to you to decide whether those explanations are acceptable or just bullshit excuses.

(in reply to YourDomNow)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 4:27:21 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TracyTaken



quote:

ORIGINAL: YourDomNow

Would you think age has something to do with this also?


No.  I really think it is probably you.



Yep pretty clear to me, it's you.  If a "couple of weeks" means more than a few emails in those weeks and she's not comfortable with giving you just her first name, she most likely isn't into you.  However, your postings here demonstrate you are fairly rigid, honestly, what does it matter what her name is until you meet with her?  Merely because you asked for it and she didn't give it?  Who is the immature one there? 

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to TracyTaken)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 4:27:34 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

*looks around*

Who.... ME???



Hey TITS.......whats your name?

Jeff


Seriously? it'sAndrea (no kidding,Kyst...)  LOL


_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 4:27:40 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

"ok buddy, you are ok to chat with and maybe share fantasies with online but no way would I do you in real life.  You don't mean that much to me that I would want to share my name with you." 



Or maybe she's saying "Hey, I don't actually know you. It's really easy to lie online and I'd like to know you better before giving you that particular detail." I have my reasons why I will not hand out my first name to a potential partner quickly and none of them are what you mentioned.

Thinking that is what all women are saying is kinda silly. It may be keeping a barrier up, but it's entirely reasonable to someone to want to keep their name private until they meet up.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 2/20/2008 4:29:06 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 4:30:03 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Thats a lovely name.....but I am gonna keep calling you ...Tits...:)

Dick

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 4:31:27 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I wonder if you could combine the two.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 4:31:39 PM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline 		of course you should be on a first name basis, unless she/he has something to hide.

PM

_____________________________

That which does not kill me, better run pretty damn fast

I miss my ex, but my aim is improving!




(in reply to YourDomNow)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 4:34:07 PM   
carlie310


Posts: 256
Joined: 9/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Somehow I feel the issues here are deeper than just a name

Jeffff
( my real name, cleverly disguised)

LOL, no argument there.  In fact. . .(scrolls up). . .yup, the issues are listed for you.

Call me Ishmael.

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 4:36:28 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Thats a lovely name.....but I am gonna keep calling you ...Tits...:)

Dick

who...Me???


_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 4:43:11 PM   
KyttynTheMynx


Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline 		Here, I am known as kyttyn.  On yahoo, I get called venom, or vixi.  There are people I have known for going on 2 years on both sites that know me only as those names.  There are people I have known for the same amount of time that know my first name and/or last name, ACTUAL city name, phone number, address etc.  I am my only protector against the weirdos, creeps, and ickypoo people in the world that might wanna get all 51 flavors of ignorant, so I restrict that info.  If I trust a person they can ask and I'll rattle off that info.  If I am not that into the person, I will avoid the question no matter how much they feel they need to tell me...

_____________________________

Hibbie's Hottie

The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

"Kyttyn: The Other White Meat!" - DRH

10 Miles of Hot Chocolate Lovin'.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 4:44:59 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		I have a whole slew of friends who, although they know my full real name etc, still call me Greedy (and NO, Jeff.. I am NOT going to tell them to start calling me Tits...LOL).

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to KyttynTheMynx)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 4:46:30 PM   
night101owl


Posts: 83
Joined: 8/15/2005
Status: offline 		I rarely use my first name on the internet. If I know someone in real life, though, they know me by my first name. I haven't maintained any sort of internet-only connection with someone since I was a teenager (on BBS and such-- I'm not that young).

I don't use a scene name IRL, but I know a couple people who do, for privacy reasons. Nothing wrong with that.



(in reply to YourDomNow)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 4:46:45 PM   
whiteslavebitch


Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		I have an unusual first name. There are probably <500 people in the USA with my first name. I've personally met only 2 others. If asked, I use my middle name until I feel really comfortable with someone.


_____________________________

MasterK's whiteslavebitch

formally collared 1/30/09

"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 4:49:42 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PanthersMom

of course you should be on a first name basis, unless she/he has something to hide.

PM


It's the internet.  Many have "something to hide" merely because they are being cautious.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to PanthersMom)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 4:51:01 PM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline 		~fast reply~

i'll share my real name if asked, though sometimes people think i am giving them a fake name  

Usually i just get called wenchie by my friends, in fact Saturday night i went out to a bar where my friends were, heard wenchieeeeeee being yelled out by them.  Felt kinda like Norm for a moment.  

Like you wsb i have a rather unusual name, keep hearing about others with my name, but have yet to actually meet one.  i think that is why people assume i am trying to pass off a fake name as my own. 

< Message edited by sweetwenchie -- 2/20/2008 4:56:02 PM >

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to whiteslavebitch)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 4:58:14 PM   
YourDomNow


Posts: 4170
Joined: 1/24/2008
From: originally TX, now PA
Status: offline 		Thanks everyone for their input and opinions......No, i have no other "hidden" issues...Its like PantherMom said, thats what I think and agree with....If not a first name, then at least some name ......im not her Master or her Dom immediately...so I wouldnt call her something appropriate for that until the time arose for it. And yes, I put my name out there immediately....I have nothing to hide, and I dont feel if someone is being honest, has anything to hide....I know its all a matter of personal preference......thanks O/one and A/all

(in reply to sweetwenchie)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: First name basis when talking - 2/20/2008 5:03:22 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Well , Skippy, I am glad you took all the serious answers to heart. I am sure everything will be swell for you now

Jeff

(in reply to YourDomNow)
Profile   Post #: 60
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