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would You stay? - 2/22/2008 4:32:59 AM

Kalista07

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If You found out that due to some medical issue You would never again have sex with Your Dom/Master would You stay? What if He offered to allow You to leave the relationship, would You stay?

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Post #: 1

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 4:35:12 AM

bislavegirl4434

Posts: 43
Joined: 2/18/2008
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Yes, i think I would stay with a Dom if that happened. It shouldn't be able the sex, it should be about the willingness to serve/obey. So although sex is a perk... thats all it really should be.

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 2

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 4:35:16 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
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Can you leave? do you want to leave? it totally depends on how you feel. Sex is of course a huge part in any relationship but if you are in love it does somewhat make it harder. Its an impossible question to answer without knowing the emotions.

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RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 4:37:48 AM

adoracat

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Joined: 2/16/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

If You found out that due to some medical issue You would never again have sex with Your Dom/Master would You stay? What if He offered to allow You to leave the relationship, would You stay?

yes. as long as there was still love and affection there, and i felt wanted, yes, i would. granted, i'm in a poly situation with my husband now, and we havent been intimate in over a year and a half.

kitten

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 4

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 4:39:06 AM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
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I would stay so long as he felt comfortable with me not being able to have sex with him. I've gone through something like this.For several years I was unable to orgasm, and had a complete lack of libido. Total lack, 100% lack, to the point where I was completely disinterested in anything except cuddling and that was just for comfort not for anything sexual. You've not said why, mine was due to medication. I hope you've seen a doctor(s) concerning this because in many cases it can be treated. It is also important to see a doctor to find out the cause, just incase there is an underlying condition that needs care.

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RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 4:42:47 AM

Dnomyar

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I think adoracat shows that it can be done. Talk with your Dom. You might want to consider poly.

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RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 4:46:55 AM

PanthersMom

Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
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if i was a submissive, i would. if it was the other way around, i still would. for me it's not just about sex.

PM

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RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 4:48:27 AM

adoracat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I think adoracat shows that it can be done. Talk with your Dom. You might want to consider poly.

it can be done. it is NOT easy. he sleeps naked and i still find him outrageously attractive. *sighs*

part of it is because he sees me as ill and that doesnt equal "i can have sex with her" in his mind. part of it is that i've *ahem* had allergic reactions to his semen. and that makes him feel less inclined to be intimate with me.

it takes work and a lot of communication, absolutely.

kitten

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 8

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 4:49:09 AM

batshalom

Posts: 1990
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I would absolutely stay. I get in relationships for love and the D/s dynamic - the kink and sex are extras to me, almost superfluous.

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Post #: 9

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 4:49:28 AM

MissMorrigan

Posts: 2309
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I'm going to answer this from the other perspective, Kalista. Reality is my submissive partner, sex is but a small part of our relationship. If, for health reasons, he was unable to engage in penetrative sex for instance, so what? Sex, for me, isn't measured by penetrative sex or by how many orgasms, I can derive as much, if not more, sexual fulfilment from other things without those being a factor. I love him for who he is.

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Post #: 10

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 4:50:33 AM

AtlantaMistress

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Joined: 6/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

If You found out that due to some medical issue You would never again have sex with Your Dom/Master would You stay? What if He offered to allow You to leave the relationship, would You stay?

I would imagine that any REAL relationship goes far beyond just sex. Love is about much more than orgasm...which, by the way, there are plenty of other ways to achieve without intercourse.

He may have offered to let you leave the relationship, because whatever the medical condition he has is making him feel less than a man - less able to Dominate you. Or He may have offered to let you leave as a test. If you truly derive your own pleasure from His happiness, I can not see why you would consider leaving, and staying shows that you have truly committed to serve him.

If you are actually considering leaving, I think you need to evaluate what the relationship is really based on...it does not sound like really love.

< Message edited by AtlantaMistress -- 2/22/2008 4:54:34 AM >

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RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 4:54:06 AM

wisteriaV

Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
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When we found out about a medical issue almost two years that was going to change how we play including certain sexual aspects, I asked Master for release so he wouldn't have to contend with it. He looked at me and said we are in this together and we will work around it. It can get frustrating at times, but we cope. After all I'm not dying or anything.

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Post #: 12

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 4:55:24 AM

angelikaJ

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Joined: 6/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

If You found out that due to some medical issue You would never again have sex with Your Dom/Master would You stay? What if He offered to allow You to leave the relationship, would You stay?

By having sex do you mean intercourse..lovemaking emcompasses so much more than that... .

Also since sexuality is such an important aspect of the human experience if I was told no sex ever again I might seek a second opinion.

How do [you] feel about it and how does He?

edit due to dumb typo

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 2/22/2008 4:56:04 AM >

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 13

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 5:02:11 AM

puella

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Joined: 12/2/2004
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Of course I would stay with him.... and have been in a relationship prior to this one where that was an issue (that relationship did not dissolve because of the lack of sex, btw).

I would not take another sexual partner if I chose to stay with him.

You can find sexual release without finding another partner...but beyond that, I do not commit the whole of who I am to another just because he fucks me until my mind bends...The nature of our relationship must be far more profound and solid than that if I give up my rights and freedoms... not to mention my heart.

I love him, and some day, neither one of us is going to be as energetic or possessed of the same libido we are now while we are young (relative).

If I could not stay with him because of a lack of sex, especially a health related issue which effected our sex life...I never should have gotten into a serious fully surrendered relationship to begin with... as in my mind that is hardly fully surrendered.

But again, that is just the nature of our relationship and how we as individuals function. I suppose if you were play partners or something, you would have a different set of issues to be juggling about in your head.

< Message edited by puella -- 2/22/2008 5:03:33 AM >

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(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 14

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 5:24:20 AM

tahlly

Posts: 57
Status: offline

quote:

If You found out that due to some medical issue You would never again have sex with Your Dom/Master would You stay?

yes. i did not become his so that he could sexually serve me. if sex was taken out of the equation; my service to him would continue.

quote:

What if He offered to allow You to leave the relationship, would You stay?

i would stay. The only possible way for me to walk out the door would be if he formally released me.

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 15

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 5:39:58 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I agree with what others have posted.
Our relationship is not so superficial that his penis not functioning correctly would change our feelings for each other.
There are MANY ways to find sexual release.
Mine would make sure that I got what I need, even if He were not able to provide it in the conventional way.

~Christina

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Post #: 16

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 6:15:19 AM

BlackPhx

Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
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I am not with my Master because of fantastic sex..it's great, but it is not the end all and be all of things for me. He is so much more than a taxi for his penis. He is not with me for fantastic sex, it's great, but my libido doesn't match his by a long shot. We are both so much more.

No I would not leave him, he would not leave me.

poenkitten

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 17

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 6:17:41 AM

breatheasone

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Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

If You found out that due to some medical issue You would never again have sex with Your Dom/Master would You stay? What if He offered to allow You to leave the relationship, would You stay?

I would stay, and not even have had to think about it.

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(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 18

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 6:20:57 AM

BeyondIndigo

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Joined: 2/19/2008
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Well, I'm going to have to disagree with what has been said so far.

I have certain needs. Among these is a very strong (and frequent) desire for penetrative sex. So, if this were to happen, the guy would have to consider letting me go elsewhere for these needs. I couldn't be in a relationship with no chance of sex, ever. For me that just wouldn't work.

I'm aware that might sound shallow to some, but I am being honest.

(in reply to BlackPhx)

Post #: 19

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 6:32:40 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

I am with you on this. If we had exhausted ALL possibilities, I'd likely not stay. But I'd rather figure a way to work things out...

yes, sex isn't everything, but its often an expression of love, a way of knowing you're desired and wanted...

no sex isn't everything, but it is a lot of things

again, I'd prefer to exhaust every option, but personally I lived in a sexless relationship for a long time, and my partner didn't really work as hard as I did to make it happen.. and it wasn't me, it was the partner... so in the end, it was one of the reasons we ended up parting...

(in reply to BeyondIndigo)

Post #: 20

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