Kana
Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama Whatever. I don't think it is too much for any woman to expect creepy people of either sex to leave her the hell alone. And I'm not impressed by people who put their rubberstamp on harassment because "boys will be boys" or "this is the Internet".
OK I never made a comment regarding boys will be boys, matter of fact I kinda side with the OP in that I think it would be damn skippy if everyone on the net, and particularly here played nice, shared sandboxes and showed each other respect; respect that is due them not because of their gender, sexuality, disposition, status or any such nonsense but because we all deserve some basic dignity as human beings. However I live in freaking reality, not wishy washy ideal land and you know what, there are a whole lot of jerks out there doing whatever they want to and its stupid to try and change them. Nothing, absolutely nothing is a bigger waste of time than trying to change a nimrods mind. It ain’t gonna happen. So she can waste her breathe all day long or grow up and deal with it in an adult fashion. And I would most likely be much rougher on a male dom who whined about the same thing.
This blaming-the-victim crap went out in the 1970's, folks. People do not have some kind of God-given right to be aggressive and abusive to anyone they please. Abusers do not automatically own the Internet or any other social arena, and no one is obligated to put up with their crap just because they have a profile on CM. Its just part of the territory. No one is saying its right, its reality. I live in the city, I shouldn’t “have to” lock my doors at night, but you know what, I do. And if I don’t and my house gets robbed, it’s on me for being irresponsible. Does that absolve the thieves of their share of the blame for being housebreaking scumbags? Not a bit, but I have to watch my own side of the street. I am sure not blaming the “victim,” which I think is a mighty dramatic word for someone who at worst may have gotten her feelings hurt a bit. And even that’s a reach, if someone can hurt your feelings on a web page, you should either grow the fuck up or move the fuck on. Here's a wild idea: how about we start placing the responsibility for bad behavior on the people who SEND harassing and abusive emails, rather than the people who RECEIVE them? Yeah, good luck changing them.
Maybe if we can manage that, we can start blaming rapists for their crimes too, instead of demanding to know what their victims did to deserve it. Or telling them to get used to it. Or whatever the hell kind of insane logic would be the equivalent to the posts I'm seeing on this thread.
Where did this leap of logic come in? Its absurd to even remotely compare the two situations. It a faulty analogy, overly dramatic, a play on emotion and just huh. No body is saying enjoy it, some people are offering suggestions on how to deal with it, others (including me) are suggesting mechanisms for not letting it disturb the receiver. If you don’t like pollution, don’t live in LA.
Jeezus. I cannot believe there are actually people here who will say that a woman is "giving female dominants a bad name" because she dares to complain about harassment...could you people collaborate a LITTLE more with the abuser and the abuse, maybe? How in the world is anyone collaborating here with the “abuser?”
Personally, if there was a male dominant on this forum demanding to know why dominant women were sending him harassing and threatening emails, my first impulse would not be to call him weak and stupid for daring to mention it. I'd want to hear about it. And I would not hasten to blame him for some woman's insanity or tell him he needed to "get used to it" when some psycho was threatening to "teach him his place" by raping and torturing him. Yeah, nothing is more threatening from reading a mail from a stranger who doesn’t know your name, doesn’t know where you live and is most likely far far away. Those computerized threats from strangers scare me bad, I need a nightlight to be able to sleep. And yes, I would heckle the snot out of any dom who cried about the same thing.
Not real sure why it is that a woman with a similar complaint has to be attacked. But maybe that's just me. You have made this about sexism when its not. It’s about a whole lot of other things, but it has zero to do with the fact it’s a woman making the complaint. Its about the fact that as adults, we understand there is a certain amount of shit that we take in this world. If it were an office and she was having to undergo sexual harassment every day just to do her job I would be 100,000% on her side. But this is a fetish sex personals (I am gonna get lit up about that statement but it is what it is) web site. She participates voluntarily, no coercion required. Deal with it. Mean people suck, hell most people suck. If people don’t like it they should join a convent. And as a final note, I can’t help but think a little spell checking and logical thought as opposed to emotional reactioniasm on the OP’s part might have led to a very different thread. Just my humble opinion.Thank you for listening to this rant, I will now shut up and leave you nice people alone.
< Message edited by Kana -- 2/22/2008 2:26:09 PM >
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