LadyJeelys
Posts: 99
Joined: 11/17/2007
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ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama
Just as an aside, to people who think a thread like this can have no purpose--I learned something from it, and I do think that the few people who took the OP seriously managed to give her some good support and legal/personal safety advice. The people who had nothing to offer but mockery of the OP's grammar, spelling, or dominant persona, or who try to derail the thread by picking a goofy fight over nothing--not so helpful. But it's a pretty typical signal-to-noise ratio, when someone brings up a topic that makes people uncomfortable.
I am sorry that some of us just do not "get it".
I'm noticing that you make a lot of assumptions. You assume that because someone doesn't agree with you, they don't get it.
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Personally, I have been the victim of a schizophrenic stalker in the past, and I have also received one or two emails on this site which were actively threatening me with rape and torture--which I suppose might be a turn-on to certain kinds of extremely masochistic subs, but which make me physically ill.
Surprisingly, having been a victim of of a stalker does not make you nor I the experts on "rude" emails from male Dominants. See, Christina talked about "rude" emails in which she was treated like a "slave". You have made the assumption that being treated like a "slave" means that she was being threatened with rape and torture. Now, maybe you and Christina are buddies and chat and confided and you know that she has been threatened with rape and torture by this person....but thus far the description has been more that she is annoyed that he treated her like slave. Or perhaps that assumption is that slaves, male or female, should be threatened with rape and torture and that is what is meant by being treated like a slave. Which, frankly, would be a really odd view for any Dominant to hold. Hey, I love torture as much as the next person, well, ok, since I'm sadist I guess more than the next person, but even I don't think its how slaves are treated.
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Needless to say, I do understand why a woman might be very upset if she was being targeted regularly by one man in particular or by more than one man in general with emails like this. And I would not feel differently if a man was posting here about a woman or women who threatened and stalked him by email. I have seen men suffer devastating effects from female stalkers--the worst case scenario was a woman who culminated her campaign of harassment by driving across three states to kidnap a former lover's pregnant wife and murder her and her child while he was on a business trip.
Ok, now having made assumptions we make a major LEAP in logic. You notice that in your story the perpetrator is a former "Lover". I don't suppose that her being a fomer "lover" suggests that they actually had a relationship that extended beyond emails that were rude?
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If some of you here have never received an email which was genuinely dripping with insanity, hostility or violent intent--perhaps some day you will. I assure you, they can be quite upsetting, especially when they are part of a campaign which obviously involves someone hunting you from site to site and place to place.
Again, think about this logically. Just because someone sees me on CM doesn't mean they can "follow me" to other sites, unless they are particularly good hackers. The more likely assumption, would be that since there are a limited number of sites address the shared interest of BDSM, no one is following anyone anywhere, but rather they happen to be on the same sites.
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You think it's cute or funny for someone to send threatening emails from another state or another country? I assure you, it is not.
Hmmmmm, couldn't come up with a valid point and had to hope off into the realm of silly? No one said anything about emails being funny or cute.....and in fact threatening wasn't the description of the emails. Christina described them as "rude" and said she was treated like a "slave". Rather, people described them as annoying. But we all have to deal with annoying at some point in our lives. Not everyone who annoys us is a psycho stalker. Not everyone who is rude to us is a psycho stalker. Not everyone who makes assumptions about Female Dominants or the role of women in society is a psycho stalker.
And what is more, even if this was the case, your answers to the problem presume the woman is victim. Even those of US who have been stalked have to be victims---we don't have to wear victimhood as a badge of honor that we carry whinging across the world. Instead, we can take back the power the stalker has tried to take. We can take ownership of our own safety and take the necessary steps to ensure that we are not stalked again. Little steps like say, not posting a photo of ourselves out on the world wide web for one. (I know that's very close to a personal attack, and I'm sorry, but frankly if you've been stalked and your stalker is still out there you should know better.)
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They have these things called "cars" and "plane tickets" which can tighten up the distance real freakin' quick. It's a small planet and getting smaller every day. And when you are being hunted, going out in public or seeking help and advice is NOT the act of a coward or a fool. It is the only sane, responsible, and courageous thing to do.
Again, Christina didn't say anything about being hunted, and she didn't seek help. Help would have been along the lines of, "What steps should I take to address cyberstalking? What other steps should I take in addition to reporting to the police?" Which, incidentally, as you are probably aware, taking "threatening emails" to the police doesn't really help other than creating a paper trail in the event the stalker does break the law. Stalking is very diffictult to prove and prosecute unless the stalker gets caught breaking another law. And even then, then the stalker may not be charged with stalking-even if your locality has such a law.
So again, rude emails do not rape make. Rude emails do not stalking make. A male Dominant who thinks all women are slaves isn't necessarily insane. A male dominant telling a female dominant she's a slave because he thinks she is doesn't make for rape.
And what's more, the female dominant has a choice in how to respond even to a crazed stalker. She, truthfully whether dominant or submissive, can choose to be the victim, or she can take control of the situation.
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Block, yes. Delete, yes. REPORT, from now on, if there is any kind of threat. And yes, MsLilac and KindLadyGrey are dead right: if this is more than just an isolated incident, DOCUMENT. Save the emails, preferably with the tracking intact. These can be traced to the sender and they can lend him/her in prison just as easily as a pattern of threatening phone calls or letters.
Sounds simple and common-sense, but sometimes these things need to be said out loud. Not everyone knows everything, and sometimes even when we do know something, we need to be calmed and reminded. I do think it helps to have male dominants step forward and say, "This guy is not normal, he is not doing something that all male dominants in North America do--he is being insane and a wanker/freak."
Oh, please. Male dominants as a group are not responsible or accountable for what some guy some where does. They don't have to apologize for or correct some guy they don't even know who even we only know because 1 person has accused them of being rude. Are you going to apologize because some twit cut me off this morning on the way to work----or you going to stand up and be firm on abiding by traffic laws? After all, she could have killed me when she cut me off-a "rude" email isn't going to kill anyone.
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It helps to have female dominants step forward and say, "Most of the male dominants on this site are good people, and a lot of them are my friends"--and try to figure out why the OP might be having an unusual experience. And it definitely helps to pinpoint the issue to a fairly specific bad person, and tell the OP "There are things you can do for your personal safety and to alert the authorities to this person's behavior."
Yeah, cause hey, there is no possibility that in this case we're dealing with a he said, she said kind of thing. We definitely have all the facts to be able to make such a determination.
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Anyway. It's good to see that there are a few people who will step up, even if people don't spell perfectly. English is not everyone's first language; for those born and raised speaking a Romance language, the grammar and vocabulary of English can be difficult to learn.
The point about not knocking other people's language skills I agree with, the psuedo fact used to support the point I disagree with. But then I know lots of folks who speak multiple languages. Romance language speaks seem to have more of an edge in learning English than the slavonic language speakers or Asian laugauage speakers or Africian language speakers I know.
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I hope that when I visit Europe, the people of Spain will be more forgiving of my lack of facility with their language than you folks have been, especially if I ever find myself upset, angry, or in trouble of some kind, and struggling to express myself in public in Spanish.
Yeah, good luck with that.
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I personally doubt that I would be as articulate and "in control" as Christina has been, under those circumstances. But I certainly hope that however poorly I may speak their language, that someone among those native Spanish speakers will listen and try to understand what I am saying, and possibly be helpful.
Actually, I suspect that you and Christina are quite alike in personality and will grow to be great friends...which is truly a wonderful thing. I met some of my best friends online.
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RE: MALE DOMS DISRESPECTING FEMALE DOMMES - 
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