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RE: So why do women like jerks? - 2/24/2008 3:53:00 PM

Smith117

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Men always complain about the OTHER jerks that women are dating. It's ridiculous. I might take threads like this seriously if someone ever complained about the jerk that his OWN girlfriend is dating.

I'll never complain about that. I've adopted more of a 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" mindset.

Women like jerks....guys set in their ways are jerks? Well, then I'm gonna jerk it up. Metaphorically speaking, of course

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RE: So why do women like jerks? - 2/24/2008 4:00:58 PM

kittinSol

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

Ever notice how practically every woman seems to go through the phase at some point in their lives where she somehow finds a jerk of a boyfriend she refuses to leave?

Why do some men end up with bitches? Goes both ways, I think. Sometimes, people lack discernment.

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RE: So why do women like jerks? - 2/24/2008 4:03:46 PM

SensualPassion41

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I guess we can say the same thing about both sexes. I've seen many men put up with all kinds of crap from a woman because she has a set of DD's on her, is young and beautiful.
I look for those who are good humored, can hold a conversation, traits along those lines. I don't look for the "hottie" I notice eyes and personalities.

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RE: So why do women like jerks? - 2/24/2008 5:02:34 PM

SugarMyChurro

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I'm just going to answer this in a straight forward fashion. I don't think that some of the off-topic replies have actually scored the points that they think they have. And yes, I have noticed this phenomenon myself - even if I would have qualified the OP more carefully.

Jerks score with women because genetically a woman is going to be attracted to a man that is in a social position to be a jerk and not suffer any significant consequences for it. I would say that some common attributes of a male jerk would include: good looks, athletic build, masculinity, above average intelligence, arrogance, affluence, overall success of various kinds, etc. So what if the guy is a bit of an ass - he may have dozens of other qualities that make up for it.

Some of my ex-girlfriends have a running joke about me between them that while most men are assholes, that I am a different kind of asshole. What they mean is that the men they have been with have all been kind of ass-holey, but that they also had many redeeming characteristics. I just have more redeeming characteristics than most. That's why we are all of us still friends. =)

Frankly, show me a Dominant man that isn't an arrogant jerk in at least some way and I'll show you a dumb-ass, pussy-whipped, motherfucker that isn't worth his salt.

Someone has to take charge of the bitches. They can't rule themselves at the end of the day, no matter how competent they may seem in a hundred different ways.

This is where I go into hiding for stating the plain truth.

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RE: So why do women like jerks? - 2/24/2008 5:14:10 PM

kittinSol

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SugarMyChurro

Frankly, show me a Dominant man that isn't an arrogant jerk in at least some way and I'll show you a dumb-ass, pussy-whipped, motherfucker that isn't worth his salt.

Someone has to take charge of the bitches. They can't rule themselves at the end of the day, no matter how competent they may seem in a hundred different ways.

Sexy!

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RE: So why do women like jerks? - 2/24/2008 5:53:53 PM

Griswold

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

Ever notice how practically every woman seems to go through the phase at some point in their lives where she somehow finds a jerk of a boyfriend she refuses to leave? Usually this bad relationship only ends when the jerk boyfriend decided to break it off. The women get played, reeled in, and refuse to give up.

It's interesting how mostly each gender blames the other for this.

Here is an interesting article from both the male and female perspective....

http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/74753/she-says-vs-he-says-do-girls;_ylc=X3oDMTF1YTBpOTk1BF9TAzI3MTYxNDkEc2VjA2ZwX3RvZGF5BHNsawNzaGUtc2F5cy12cy1oZS1zYXlzLWRvLWdpcmxzBHp6A2Fi

Just like every guy goes through a period of looking for a slut...it's a gender thing.

Deal with it.

Every woman about the age of 50 eventually decides she'd have been better off with the guy that never made any noise, but was consistent every day....every guy about the same age (when he's sold his Porsche) eventually realizes that a roomful of kids and a woman who eats too many Bob Bons ain't so bad....and all the memories that each provide over 20 years is a vastly better deal.

(The only problem is...some of us realize all of the above far too late).

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RE: So why do women like jerks? - 2/24/2008 5:59:29 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Okay, sweeping on by the offensive bits of SugarMyChurro's post..... Bad boys and jerks are transgressive. They act up, they do nasty things, they might even break the law. They say what they want to say regardless of consequence--and there often IS no consequence, because generally no one stands up to them. (and they wouldn't hear it, anyway) They're the opposite of what we are "supposed" to like, and because they appear to be unpredictable they are exciting. How many folks on this site are into humiliation and abuse? Two or three? How many top men are loud, arrogant, selfish jerks? ummmmm..........

Works the same way for women. Plenty of nasty women out there running roughshod over everyone, and amazingly, men (and women) put up with it. One of my doctors actually married four of them in a row!

Several others mentioned loneliness, desperation, fear of being alone....those are very powerful motivators for tolerating all kinds of abusive situations.

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RE: So why do women like jerks? - 2/24/2008 6:54:30 PM

GreedyTop

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Griswold

quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

Ever notice how practically every woman seems to go through the phase at some point in their lives where she somehow finds a jerk of a boyfriend she refuses to leave? Usually this bad relationship only ends when the jerk boyfriend decided to break it off. The women get played, reeled in, and refuse to give up.

It's interesting how mostly each gender blames the other for this.

Here is an interesting article from both the male and female perspective....

http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/74753/she-says-vs-he-says-do-girls;_ylc=X3oDMTF1YTBpOTk1BF9TAzI3MTYxNDkEc2VjA2ZwX3RvZGF5BHNsawNzaGUtc2F5cy12cy1oZS1zYXlzLWRvLWdpcmxzBHp6A2Fi

Just like every guy goes through a period of looking for a slut...it's a gender thing.

Deal with it.

Every woman about the age of 50 eventually decides she'd have been better off with the guy that never made any noise, but was consistent every day....every guy about the same age (when he's sold his Porsche) eventually realizes that a roomful of kids and a woman who eats too many Bob Bons ain't so bad....and all the memories that each provide over 20 years is a vastly better deal.

(The only problem is...some of us realize all of the above far too late).

so in 5 years I'm gonna regret not getting with some ofthe guys I've dated in the past?

meh..don't see that happening :)

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RE: So why do women like jerks? - 2/24/2008 7:33:20 PM

samboct

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Asshole is a successful reproductive strategy.....

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RE: So why do women like jerks? - 2/24/2008 7:36:32 PM

GreedyTop

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whoops..nm..just reread it..LOL

< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 2/24/2008 7:37:30 PM >

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RE: So why do women like jerks? - 2/24/2008 7:44:23 PM

Sinergy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Men always complain about the OTHER jerks that women are dating. It's ridiculous. I might take threads like this seriously if someone ever complained about the jerk that his OWN girlfriend is dating.

Your girlfriend never posts, LaM.

Im just saying...

Sinergy

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RE: So why do women like jerks? - 2/24/2008 7:50:38 PM

FangsNfeet

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"So why do women like jerks?"

Have you ever heard of one of those guys who are too nice, kind, sweet, and thoughtfull to be in a relationship with?

Have you ever broke it off or decline to ask someone out because they where to nice, sweet, and innocent?

I prove my point.

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RE: So why do women like jerks? - 2/24/2008 8:09:24 PM

Aneirin

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Could it be that everyone or at least some always think the grass is greener with wanting jerks of either sex.

My ex always had jerks before me and not long into my marriage she again wanted a jerk. I left, soon she no longer wanted a jerk and tried her best to get me back.

I was boring you see, I was steady and looked after everyone, but boring in her eyes, but then she was never on my wavelength, I am kinky, she is not, I am open minded she is not.She admitted to trying to change me into a jerk I suppose, but no, that is not me.

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RE: So why do women like jerks? - 2/24/2008 8:17:13 PM

Alumbrado

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Anyone read today's (Sunday Feb 24th) Dilbert?

http://www.dilbert.com/

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RE: So why do women like jerks? - 2/24/2008 8:23:57 PM

FangsNfeet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

She admitted to trying to change me into a jerk I suppose, but no, that is not me.

All I know is that most women like to fuck DICKS. Capishe?

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RE: So why do women like jerks? - 2/24/2008 8:29:14 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Well if the dick is ATTACHED to an even bigger dick? I am not interested.

Yes, there are many many boring people out there. Some of them are nice, too, and it's a shame that they're boring, but that's why there is eharmony.

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RE: So why do women like jerks? - 2/24/2008 8:57:07 PM

faerytattoodgirl

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what if its attached to a smaller one?

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RE: So why do women like jerks? - 2/24/2008 8:57:35 PM

juliaoceania

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

Ever notice how practically every woman seems to go through the phase at some point in their lives where she somehow finds a jerk of a boyfriend she refuses to leave? Usually this bad relationship only ends when the jerk boyfriend decided to break it off. The women get played, reeled in, and refuse to give up.

It's interesting how mostly each gender blames the other for this.

I had a best friend all through high school and through my twenties that used men and spit them out like crazy. She felt that men were users, best to use them before giving them an opportunity to use you. She constantly lectured me in an attempt to get me to see it her way when I suffered from dating "jerks". Needless to say I am glad I never went the way she did. She was the type that would have several different boyfriends concurrently, having them all pay her bills so she could go out and play. Now she was what one would call a "jerk"... see, it isn't a gender issue. I could not tell you how many of her boyfriends called me and tried to get me to commiserate about how she had done them wrong.. but hey, they wanted it, that is why they dated her.

People who do not know how to set boundaries for themselves, choose to be codependent, have relational issues, it isn't the jerk's fault... it is their own. You only get what you tolerate.

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RE: So why do women like jerks? - 2/24/2008 10:37:28 PM

MissMorrigan

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I think you're absolutely right, Alumbrado. I understand why some people gravitate into relationships that are abusive, where there is a distinct lack of respect, however, that does not make me envy them one bit. I'm very happy with my Mr Nice, who isn't the least bit clingy and shame on me for seemingly breaking a stereotype, is actually exciting.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado
Perhaps it is the flip side of kindness being mistaken for weakness.

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RE: So why do women like jerks? - 2/24/2008 10:57:55 PM

defiantbadgirl

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Women stay with jerks for different reasons. In my case, it was my morals that kept me around. Friends with benefits is one of my hard limits because it conflicts with my morals. His idea was to "work toward a relationship." He was very careful not to refer to me as "friend" or "bondage buddy" until after he had started receiving the benefits. Since it was too late because it had already happened, I felt like my only option was to get him to briefly stop thinking of me as a buddy (even if it was less than a week). That way I could walk away with my morals intact and without feeling like a worthless tramp.

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