Cuffkinks
Posts: 1780
Joined: 5/5/2004
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Go get yourselves a snack kiddies, 'cause I've got a lot to say on this one...
This is a question that has been around forever and as we can see here...doesn't have any one simple answer.
As a former "jerk," I, and the other "jerks" I hung out with in My youth did very well with the ladies. I don't say this to brag, I mention it because it gave me the opportunity to study women. To get into their minds and see some of the things that made them "tick."
What I'm about to say is by no means a complete answer, just My opinions based on My experiences. So please, take it as just that.
Some women, maybe even most, have what some call the "Florence Nightingale Syndrome." They want to fix, heal, cure, save...etc. That trait can be found in some men, but mostly it's women who have it. Maybe it's due partially to being maternal...Maybe not. They want to be the one that saved him...even if it's saving him from himself. And they'll stick around and put up with a lot of crap in doing so. Those types are drawn to the jerk so they have something to fix, heal, cure, save...etc. I remember a comedian talking about relationships saying: "A guy wants a project...He gets himself a car to fix. A woman wants a project...She gets herself a man." I also remember a title of a play from the past: "I love you, you're perfect...Now change." (Never saw it.) God bless women for trying.
Then there's the "drama queen." The one who's happiest when she's miserable. This type can't be happy with things rolling along smoothly. That's boring. If there's no drama, there's no excitement. That type is drawn to the jerk because she doesn't know what's going to happen next. What will the next episode bring? Some will even go as far as to create things just to get a reaction from the jerk. Of course, this could also be just a way to get attention from the jerk who doesn't give her enough attention because he just doesn't care. This is the type to cry to all that will listen about what kind of jerk he is, but won't leave.
Then there's the really good looking woman. The "hot chick" who is so used to guys that will bend over backwards to please her, that the jerk who doesn't giver her the time of day will be the one who stands out. (My personal favorite, back in My "jerk" days.) She's not used to not being the center of attention, so she'll go out of her way to try and get noticed. The less attention the jerk pays her, the harder she tries to get noticed by him. This type can often have "Father issues." She'll even convince herself that she actually likes him. Then, if/when they hook up, she will usually go all out to be the best he's ever had. So that she's the one to stand out in his mind. Eventually, she either sees him for the jerk he is and gets out, or falls in line because he was the one who actually "tamed the shrew" and she sees in him something she didn't see in any other man. But he's still a jerk. It just paid off in this case. Then if/when he tires of her, he dumps her. Like I said...He's a jerk. It can go either way. I remember a conversation with a past sub who fell into the "hot chick" category:
Me: I'm going to make some observations about you and you tell Me if I'm wrong.
Her: Yes Sir.
Me: You don't or you didn't have a good relationship with your father, did you?
Her: No, I didn't. He was never around when I was young.
Me: Being as attractive as you are, men have always given in to you and gave you what ever you wanted, didn't they?
Her: Yes.
Me: So, the asshole who comes along and treats you like shit is the one that's going to win out, right?
Her: Everytime.
Me: I thought so.
Having dealt with all of the above type women in My past, There was one constant. I was a jerk. Not as bad as some of My friends, but still a jerk. I did develop the ability to turn it on or off as the situation called for. One of My buddies who was really bad back in those days put it to Me in the simplest terms. He said: "Chicks expect you to be an asshole...So be one." I have to say...It did work. I also have to say...I'm really glad I grew up.
If you're still reading, I hope this made some sense. Again, these are just observations and opinions based on past experiences. I hope I didn't offend anyone. I'm really not a jerk...Anymore.
_____________________________
Resident "11"
"I love you, Sir. You make my heart sing and my panties wet. What more could a girl ask for?" - hejira92
"And that's why it's good to be...Me." - Gene $immons
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RE: So why do women like jerks? - 
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