RE: "The Needs of a Slave"

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: "The Needs of a Slave"

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: "The Needs of a Slave"

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 6:23:54 PM

DragonLadysFire

Posts: 167
Joined: 12/8/2007
Status: offline

lol thats true

_____________________________

A dragon may breathe fire, but that doesn't mean you will be burned.

(in reply to dcnovice)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 6:35:39 PM

lighthearted

Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline

there are some things I like about the list too. I wouldn't rely on it or any other list to be the be all and end all of a relationship; what happens when something occurs outside their scope?

_____________________________

"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to wordstoponder)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 6:45:28 PM

jmslilbytch

Posts: 26
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline

I also liked the list, or at least a good portion of it. Not that it all pertains to every relationship, or should.
The need to know that you are neither required nor permitted to try
to dominate yourself and that your owner will provide the force to
take you and to own you.
(I have issues with this particular point. A submissive/slave should be able to take care of herself, whether or not she/he is owned)
I don't look at this statement meaning that I shouldn't be able to take care of myself, neither would J. I take this to mean that I am not to make decisions about certain things that pertain to myself...ie, cutting my hair, loosing weight, just going wherever I want when I want...etc.

(in reply to lighthearted)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 7:10:38 PM

Willowmoon

Posts: 227
Joined: 9/25/2007
Status: offline

I quite like this list. Sure not all the points are things that I need but some of them are things that I need and have had trouble putting in to words.

Willow

(in reply to jmslilbytch)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 7:29:19 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I usually don't like lists like these, but...I kinda liked this one! Not everything on it applied to me but a lot did, surprisingly enough.

Of course, creating a relationship of any kind takes a lot more effort that creating a list, but for some reason this one reasonated with me. Must be my mood...or my flu.

*sprays owned's post with Lysol*

Gonna hafta agree with owned on this one except for the flu part. And to add to that I'd say that some things may not be considered "needs" so much as things that would/have made me happier and more fulfilled in my relationship.

LOL at Lysol....at least I'm squeaky clean now and nobody can accuse me of dirty talk.

I hear ya, re: "needs." I just saw a lot of my Master in that list so it made me feel squishy.

And where the heck have you been, angel-girl??

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 7:41:02 PM

SinergyNstrumpet

Posts: 305
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline

I think it is a good idea to look at one's needs before a person decides on a relationship of any sort, whether they be a slave, a dominant, or a vanilla person. I think it takes emotional maturity to identify what we need in a relationship and to seek it instead of trying to get someone to fulfill our needs on a subconscious level, always feeling a bit unsatisfied in our situation and unable to articulate that dissatisfaction in a way that is productive.

Most people find someone thinking that they can change them to get their needs met.. it just doesn't work that way most of the time.

That aside, people have different needs... no two people are exactly the same

Sinergy's strumpet

(in reply to wordstoponder)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 7:43:06 PM

joy2u

Posts: 89
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline

This list is pointless, to me. It has no relevance to my life with my Master. Needs, just as with wants, are very subjective and my needs, as they relate to serving my Master, are simply that He stand by His agreement to own me for life and to allow me to serve Him in the manner that He specified and that i agreed to. In return for my service to Him, i am given a safe, secure, healthy environment to live, which is what i do need. i don't need Him to show me His pleasure with me, since His keeping me tells me that He is satisfied with my service to Him. i'm sure it's a nice list for some people but, it's meaningless to me. Still, it was interesting to read.

joy
Owned servant of Master David

(in reply to wordstoponder)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 7:44:44 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

I have two.

1.
The need for clarity in deciding what sort of life actually fullfills you.
Rather than what you imagine fullfills you.

2.
The wisdom to know when a need actually is-rather than a magnified want.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to wordstoponder)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 7:57:14 PM

SinergyNstrumpet

Posts: 305
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline

quote:

2.
The wisdom to know when a need actually is-rather than a magnified want.

I agree, most people are not able to separate their needs from their wants... a need to me is something that without its presense I would not lead an optimal life in the way of being satisfied and at peace. A want is something that while it would be nice, isn't necessary for my fulfillment and joy....

Some people think that there are only a couple of needs... the need to sleep, eat, and shit. And while we can exist with the bare essentials for a period of time, only subsisting isn't the sort of life I would envision for myself. I have existed most of my adult life with no intimate adult relationship whatsoever in the interest of rearing my son... yet I do not consider having such a relationship a want for me, because my life wasn't nearly as fulfilling before my Daddy became a part of it.

~Sinergy's strumpet~

(in reply to Leatherist)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 8:25:07 PM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candisa

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I wonder how many subs who would embrace a dominant who said he/she needed all of those things as well?

greetings, LuckyAlbatross
speaking for myself only, If the dominant is the one so needy, I would hardly feel like dropping to his feet, I could hardly see him in a dominanting manner.

Not to hijack but come on, dom's are like the definition of "needy" - they "need" to be in control of their situation and people around them, almost to a superhuman (godlike) degree. They "need" to be served, "need" to feel like the center of their s-type's universe, I'm sure I can come up with some more but it's kind of late. Not that there's anything wrong with this, I'm just saying! Doms can be just as needy and codependent as subs, no doubt in my mind.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to candisa)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 8:26:57 PM

XiaoTheOwl

Posts: 30
Joined: 1/31/2008
From: Another plane of existance
Status: offline

Everyone expressed very interesting, and valid points, but I thought I would metion, a 'list' such as this one, is for reference only...
I don't think anyone in real life sits down, and puts in a list what their "needs" are...
Usually, they can't even figure out what they want, and/or need to put on a shopping list...
If they did, what would the SO do? (besides read it)...
Certainly not live by it, because it is impossible to live by someone else's standards, of what this, or any other list has written in it.
Also, life is too complex, and uncertain to attempt to live by such lists...

I figure I should mention things like "unconditional love" do not exist...
Much too often we are attached, or detached by conditions, love has little to do with it.
Two people can "love" each other, I mean 'really' love each other, but one is vanilla, the other is not, and will not be turned kinky..
That condition separates them, no matter what love they had/have...
Lists limit us if we try to live by them, but help guide us, if we use the list(s) wisely.

edited*sp

< Message edited by XiaoTheOwl -- 2/27/2008 8:32:50 PM >

_____________________________

Thoughts, are potential actions... Question yourself.

(in reply to SinergyNstrumpet)

Profile

Post #: 31

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 8:31:17 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

quote:

ORIGINAL: candisa

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I wonder how many subs who would embrace a dominant who said he/she needed all of those things as well?

greetings, LuckyAlbatross
speaking for myself only, If the dominant is the one so needy, I would hardly feel like dropping to his feet, I could hardly see him in a dominanting manner.

Not to hijack but come on, dom's are like the definition of "needy" - they "need" to be in control of their situation and people around them, almost to a superhuman (godlike) degree. They "need" to be served, "need" to feel like the center of their s-type's universe, I'm sure I can come up with some more but it's kind of late. Not that there's anything wrong with this, I'm just saying! Doms can be just as needy and codependent as subs, no doubt in my mind.

Odd.......I guess I'm not the master type. I thought all I had to offer was a relationship-but on terms that favor me. I'm a bit selfish that way, but realize it cannot realistically be ALL about me.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Profile

Post #: 32

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 8:34:07 PM

CaringandReal

Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

Hmm, that list sounds mighty familar. Couldn't possibly think of why, though. ;)

(in reply to wordstoponder)

Profile

Post #: 33

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 8:37:55 PM

HalfShyHalfWild

Posts: 150
Joined: 2/11/2008
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

The need to be tiny and safe at your owner's feet.
(The "need" to be tiny?)

I've gained a bit of weight over the last year, I'll take that one lol.

(in reply to wordstoponder)

Profile

Post #: 34

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 8:39:56 PM

joy2u

Posts: 89
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: XiaoTheOwl

I don't think anyone in real life sits down, and puts in a list what their "needs" are..

The only reason i am with my Master, today, is because i put my list of needs down on a piece of paper and i knew exactly what i needed from this relationship when i signed onto CM, looking for a Master who wanted a 24/7, live-in, TPE relationship with me. It's not very romantic, i know. But, i wasn't needing or looking for romance. If i hadn't done that, i would most likely still be floundering about from one unfulfilling relationship to another.

joy
Owned servant of Master David

(in reply to XiaoTheOwl)

Profile

Post #: 35

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 8:45:16 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: joy2u

quote:

ORIGINAL: XiaoTheOwl

I don't think anyone in real life sits down, and puts in a list what their "needs" are..

The only reason i am with my Master, today, is because i put my list of needs down on a piece of paper and i knew exactly what i needed from this relationship when i signed onto CM, looking for a Master who wanted a 24/7, live-in, TPE relationship with me. It's not very romantic, i know. But, i wasn't needing or looking for romance. If i hadn't done that, i would most likely still be floundering about from one unfulfilling relationship to another.

joy
Owned servant of Master David

So you figured out what would fullfill you, and you went for it.

Cold blooded, but very practical, in as much as it worked. I take it you didn't consult the castle realm archives for your list?

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to joy2u)

Profile

Post #: 36

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 8:47:07 PM

manwholuvs

Posts: 30
Joined: 1/1/2008
Status: offline

candisa what I find to be the case is that even as a Dom having a sub in My life completes me and without My life is unfulfilled. The connection between a Dom and his sub bring much to both for that is what feeds the bond together. We each have our needs and the journey is how we feed those things

_____________________________

Respectfully
Manwholuvs

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)

Profile

Post #: 37

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 8:50:09 PM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

quote:

ORIGINAL: candisa

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I wonder how many subs who would embrace a dominant who said he/she needed all of those things as well?

greetings, LuckyAlbatross
speaking for myself only, If the dominant is the one so needy, I would hardly feel like dropping to his feet, I could hardly see him in a dominanting manner.

Not to hijack but come on, dom's are like the definition of "needy" - they "need" to be in control of their situation and people around them, almost to a superhuman (godlike) degree. They "need" to be served, "need" to feel like the center of their s-type's universe, I'm sure I can come up with some more but it's kind of late. Not that there's anything wrong with this, I'm just saying! Doms can be just as needy and codependent as subs, no doubt in my mind.

Odd.......I guess I'm not the master type. I thought all I had to offer was a relationship-but on terms that favor me. I'm a bit selfish that way, but realize it cannot realistically be ALL about me.

I was, for the most part, being facetious however there is some truth in all humor. I was not trying insult the domliness of those who don't realistically think it's ALL about them, just pointing out that there are doms out there (we've all met them) who do "need" as much or more than your average sub. Some doms cannot function in the world without someone meeting their every whim. It's pretty sad but they do exist. Now, mind you, I'm going on the self identified title of dom here - not to say they are considered such by others.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to Leatherist)

Profile

Post #: 38

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 8:52:20 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

That's almost as creepy as people who say they "need someone to complete them." Dude.

It makes you wonder which bits are missing, sort of like a jigsaw puzzle the dog has been chewing on.