RE: "The Needs of a Slave"

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: "The Needs of a Slave"

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: "The Needs of a Slave"

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 9:13:26 PM

Lumus

Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline

I need oxygen.

*lights a cigarette*

[No. Really. I sparked up.]

_____________________________

<Talk to educate; listen to learn.>

~ the other half of "L&L" ~

I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 9:45:58 PM

XiaoTheOwl

Posts: 30
Joined: 1/31/2008
From: Another plane of existance
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: joy2u

quote:

ORIGINAL: XiaoTheOwl

I don't think anyone in real life sits down, and puts in a list what their "needs" are..

The only reason i am with my Master, today, is because i put my list of needs down on a piece of paper and i knew exactly what i needed from this relationship when i signed onto CM, looking for a Master who wanted a 24/7, live-in, TPE relationship with me. It's not very romantic, i know. But, i wasn't needing or looking for romance. If i hadn't done that, i would most likely still be floundering about from one unfulfilling relationship to another.

joy
Owned servant of Master David

I stand corrected, there are a few who take the time to actually write a list, I assume even fewer whom actually live by it...
That said, psychologists say couples *should* write down their 'needs', and 'wants'(seperately), of one another,and themselves.
Imo, having the ability to express yourself is great, and being able to narrow your needs down to a list, while still maintaining natural balane of reality, is commenable.

edited*sp

< Message edited by XiaoTheOwl -- 2/27/2008 9:49:17 PM >

_____________________________

Thoughts, are potential actions... Question yourself.

(in reply to joy2u)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 9:59:44 PM

XiaoTheOwl

Posts: 30
Joined: 1/31/2008
From: Another plane of existance
Status: offline

In response to 'Dom/mes' being needy...
The replies to that, were interesting.... *lol*
However, I must say we are losing grip on something here...
"Dom" doesn't equal Inhuman, Robot, God/ess(though we feel that way sometimes), or unlike the rest of the people out there in the world.

Dom = person...person = human...human equals flaws... one of which is being 'needy'.
We are all needy, man/woman, D or s...

We are born needy, it's what makes us strive to survive in some cases...
"I need that hot submissive girl", "so I'm going to do ____ to get her attention"...
What is the Dom's "need"?
Her attention! LOL

We are ALL needy...

*sp

< Message edited by XiaoTheOwl -- 2/27/2008 10:03:59 PM >

_____________________________

Thoughts, are potential actions... Question yourself.

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/28/2008 12:19:40 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I wonder how many subs who would embrace a dominant who said he/she needed all of those things as well?

I would be ok about it - at least said dominant has a rough idea and isn't afraid to voice himself and is obviously open to communicating which is half the 'battle' won. The mere fact that a person gets that they have boundaries as well, or that even s-types can be overwhelming or believes in love pretty much rocks.

quote:

ORIGINAL: candisa
greetings, LuckyAlbatross
speaking for myself only, If the dominant is the one so needy, I would hardly feel like dropping to his feet, I could hardly see him in a dominanting manner.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I wonder how many subs who would embrace a dominant who said he/she needed all of those things as well?

So dominants in your little world aren't allowed to have needs because they come across as 'needy'. They must therefore in your eyes be weak? Who is the authority in your relationships? or is it only about you and your needs?
Me - I'll take a genuine person with needs, passion and desire over someone who is domineering only any day.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to candisa)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/28/2008 3:25:22 AM

yourbetters

Posts: 4
Joined: 2/28/2008
Status: offline

I make sure my slaves have no needs. I have needs, they have work to do to fulfill them!

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/28/2008 4:53:12 AM

LadyHathor

Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

I have two.

1.
The need for clarity in deciding what sort of life actually fullfills you.
Rather than what you imagine fullfills you.

2.
The wisdom to know when a need actually is-rather than a magnified want.

I really like how you stated this Leatherist and IMHO a list like wordstoponder put out, the thread on 'total domination' and the one about "Dom/mes hard limits" should point out that these "lists" can be a place to start--too often people come to the table saying,: I want to Dominate" or "i wamt to serve"--with no structure, no thought, no defninitions as to what that means--then the "yeah, buts..." start and the fragile relationship crumbles if it was ever that far.

When many of us were young and dreamed of life as an adult, we had goals, aspirations, desires ( "lists" )--as we learned and matured, these things became altered--I think starting out with some kind of list then putting a reality face to it is key.

Your comment about clarity--is so important, exspecially in WIITWD, if one is seeking any kind of connection---its not dungeons and chains--its taxes, bills, families, relationship, commuication, work--just because someone has a closet full of whips and chains or someone chooses to kneel at the feet of another does not make that world out there better or worse.

I find it interesting how defensive some of the posters got over the word "need"--I as a Dominant NEED--we all need in some areas, food, shelter, etc--like the hierarchy of needs--but outside of those, it is separating the need from the want, then reality from fantasy that gets us to an intelligent beginning. I think to do some soul searching that lists to at least the 'i don't wants" is key to get where your two rules are.

Personally from a submissive, I want, I don't need--huge difference. IMHO

quote:

Me - I'll take a genuine person with needs, passion and desire over someone who is domineering only any day.

the.dark.

and this is what I seek.

< Message edited by LadyHathor -- 2/28/2008 4:56:56 AM >

_____________________________

Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to Leatherist)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/28/2008 4:54:04 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

She need to haul her ass out to the kitchen and start making me breakfast.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to LadyHathor)

Profile

Post #: 47

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/28/2008 5:04:43 AM

lronitulstahp

Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

She need to haul her ass out to the kitchen and start making me breakfast.

Ron

how do You like Your eggs?

(in reply to mnottertail)

Profile

Post #: 48

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/28/2008 5:12:21 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

She need to haul her ass out to the kitchen and start making me breakfast.

Ron

how do You like Your eggs?

apparently, she also NEEDS to know how I want my eggs done.

LOL
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to lronitulstahp)

Profile

Post #: 49

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/28/2008 5:23:30 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

She need to haul her ass out to the kitchen and start making me breakfast.

Ron

how do You like Your eggs?

apparently, she also NEEDS to know how I want my eggs done.

LOL
Ron

Asks Ron sweetly how he wants his eggs while really thinking he should make the damn things himself.......

(in reply to mnottertail)

Profile

Post #: 50

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/28/2008 5:27:22 AM

lronitulstahp

Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

She need to haul her ass out to the kitchen and start making me breakfast.

Ron

how do You like Your eggs?

apparently, she also NEEDS to know how I want my eggs done.

LOL
Ron

Asks Ron sweetly how he wants his eggs while really thinking he should make the damn things himself.......

And this is why i am Twue...the thought never occured to me...LOL

(in reply to sirsholly)

Profile

Post #: 51

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/28/2008 5:28:47 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

She need to haul her ass out to the kitchen and start making me breakfast.

Ron

how do You like Your eggs?

apparently, she also NEEDS to know how I want my eggs done.

LOL
Ron

Asks Ron sweetly how he wants his eggs while really thinking he should make the damn things himself.......

And this one NEEDS some leather work.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to sirsholly)

Profile

Post #: 52

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/28/2008 5:32:25 AM

lronitulstahp

Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline

Ron...You have all these chicks wanting to make You eggs....meanwhile toast, coffee and turkey bacon(because i care) are getting cold...i haven't even cut the fresh melon...now what was this thread about again???? Oh yeah, a slaves needs...anyone????

(in reply to mnottertail)

Profile

Post #: 53

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/28/2008 5:34:24 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

She need to haul her ass out to the kitchen and start making me breakfast.

Ron

how do You like Your eggs?

apparently, she also NEEDS to know how I want my eggs done.

LOL
Ron

Asks Ron sweetly how he wants his eggs while really thinking he should make the damn things himself.......

And this one NEEDS some leather work.

*busy adjusting halo...*

Huh? Me?

(in reply to mnottertail)

Profile

Post #: 54

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/28/2008 5:35:09 AM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

Over hard!, I hate runny yolks

Jeff

(in reply to lronitulstahp)

Profile

Post #: 55

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/28/2008 5:38:23 AM

lronitulstahp

Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline

over hard...figures
~short order slut

(in reply to Jeffff)

Profile

Post #: 56

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/28/2008 5:55:55 AM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

The need for unconditional love and acceptance.

A slave Needs that? there are quite a few here who would disagree . I don't mean to sound cranky...ok maybe I do..:). This list strikes me as a Harlequin Romance list of slaves needs.

Jeff

(in reply to wordstoponder)

Profile

Post #: 57

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/28/2008 6:07:21 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

The need for unconditional love and acceptance.

A slave Needs that? there are quite a few here who would disagree . I don't mean to sound cranky...ok maybe I do..:). This list strikes me as a Harlequin Romance list of slaves needs.

Jeff

Cranky Jefff......unconditional love and acceptance are certainly needs i have. But i am married to my Master (poor man) so i am not sure if i am speaking as a wife on this one...

(in reply to Jeffff)

Profile

Post #: 58

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/28/2008 6:11:31 AM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

Thats kinda my point. this is just another, "universal truth" type thread...:)

See, if all slaves have these needs, then when put them all in a nice little box.
I suppose this will finally answer the question that continues to keep us all up at night.
Whats the difference between a slave and a submisive..:)

CrankyDom

(in reply to sirsholly)

Profile

Post #: 59

RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/28/2008 6:11:46 AM

Archer

Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

I much prefer the essay by slave david stein "What slaves Need".
because I respect the man and his copyright (and don't want to run afoul of TOS) I'm not going to reproduce it here.
But hopefully the Mods will leave the link her so people can go read it to compare.

http://www.mastertaino.com/slaves_needs.htm

But he lists 3 need areas:
Direction
Discipline (using the definition that usually goes along with the term self discipline)
Service

(in reply to Jeffff)

Profile

Post #: 60