postulant
Posts: 32
Joined: 12/14/2007
From: Virginia
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Aileen1968
OK...say you meet another dominant man who is fantastic at flogging....something that you've always wanted to try. Say he's also very romantic and sweet with his sub whereas you are the rough and tough type. I can see learning how to flog from him. I still can't see how you can learn mental/personality styles in how to dominate from him when you have two completely different personalities and dominating styles. I can't put it into words. One is technique to me. The other is what makes you, you. How can you learn that from someone?
First I'd like to say, in response to CelticPrince's post....umm, CM has a mentoring program? And if so, where does one sign up?!?
Aileen, I understand where you're coming from completely. And I agree that there is a difference between what can be demonstrated and what is organic. While I have no real experience to offer in the D/s arena, I have been responsible for training and/or mentoring in other capacities.
I view the role of a mentor as less "formal" than that of a teacher, more intimate. My idea of a good mentor is one who helps you achieve your goals. Someone who has accomplished similar aspirations, though not necessarily by the same methods. Someone that shares your love of something and has felt that same excitement and understands your eagerness and has survived that first heartbreak and knows how incredible it is to reach milestones that might not mean a thing to anybody else. Someone who can tell you how they got where you want to be, what they believe needs to happen to help you get there, and how they got there themself, and then support you while you find your own way. Or slap you upside the head if they see you heading for a huge mistake!
I will try to provide an example in hopes that it explains what I'm trying to communicate. Imagine that you want to become an actress. It has been your lifelong dream. You have always felt as if you were born to perform, it is when you feel most alive. You have finished your education and gotten to Hollywood or New York or wherever you decide you need to be to make this dream come true. Now what??
There are many different types of actors. Movies, television, Broadway. Singing actors, dancing actors, comedic actors, character actors, actors that write, actors that direct. Which one, or ones, of those do you most identify with or aspire to similar careers?
It is my belief that only you can figure out which direction is true for you. Which of these choices will bring you the most joy and fulfillment. But once you have an idea of which type of actor (or Dom/me, or sub, or plumber, or whatever) is closest to who you are, I think there can be great value in connecting with someone that is close to where you hope to get.
It can be as simple as hearing about their own journey and being allowed to ask questions freely. Questions that may never have occurred to you until you heard someone else share an experience they had. Nobody else can tell you how you'll feel about being flogged, but they can tell you how it was for them. Perhaps they hated it the first time but came to adore it. Or maybe they learned that by accepting a certain mindset or moving their body a certain way it was a completely different sensation.
For some, hearing about mistakes others have made can be a very useful lesson, though some of us (self included) still have to go out and learn the hard way once in a while. But you may recognize situations or behavior (in yourself or in others) that you may not have otherwise been able to identify as soon or as easily.
As others have pointed out, having someone to bounce ideas off of can be great. Or having someone you can go to and have your feelings validated or be reassured that yeah, that happened to me...and my friend x...and my cousin's sister's roommate y...and here's how it went for each of us.
I feel like I'm rambling nonsensically at this point, and my attempt at creating an example fell apart about halfway through my post. *sigh* I hope that I've been of some use though.
p.
_____________________________
the only thing I'll ever ask of you
you gotta promise not to stop when I say "when"
"How much can you know about yourself, you've never been in a fight? I don't wanna die without any scars."
|
RE: Mentoring - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread