Owner4SexSlave
Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
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Hell, I'm smacking my forehead over reading this. Ok, you said you love your husband and are fearful of this messing up your marriage. Yet, you went ahead and played with this DOM thus becoming the proverbial "cheater" without your husband knowing a thing. OK, you have done this. You have to be prepared to face the consequences of your own actions. If you wanna play you have to be prepared to pay for it.
Right now, this has currently made you feel Guilty as Hell. This is tearing into your sense of self esteem. Also you said you feel addicted to scenes. Have you considered you might have an "Unhealthy Sexual Addiction" problem? People can have all kinds of addictions that stand in the way of common sense and better judgement.
Perhaps if you had expressed things like being in a loveless, or a marriage with a husband you no longer loved. I would think somewhat different about this to a degree.
OK, you met this guy at the store and within a matter of what a couple of hours he was banging the Hell out of you? This alone screams of being reckless behavior, even more so since you had to pick up your kids. What if he had not released you to do so? So many what if's you gambled with here.
Now, you are thinking about calling this off and getting the blackmail treatment by this DOM? Red Flag!!
My honest guy opinion on this matter, is that you have some issues you need help with. This DOM appears to be supporting your Self Destructive Sexual Addiction problem. You self esteem is probally starting to go to Hell because you a not only a cheater you are being liar as well. The Guilt is probally growing instead of you and sooner or later everything is gonna blow up.
Basically, get help now before you hit Rock bottom babe. This is my advice! Everybody else responding on this thread sees the Red flags as well.
My advice, is to get professional help or therapy. Let them help you through the steps in making changes. i.e. cutting things off with this DOM, coming clean with your husband and etc... Whatever it takes to bring you back to reality.
This whole affair just may have cost you your marriage one way or another. Ask yourself which would be a better way for the news to be broken to your husband, by you or this DOM? How the hell do you think you are gonna manage to sweep this under the rug for much longer? Perhaps you can call it off with this DOM without any incident. He might be bluffing about blackmailing you. If he does go through with it, you need to be prepared to deal with the aftermath.
Somebody already mentioned self-Discipline on the thread. Discipline actually is one of the Letters in BDSM itself. Discipline, Discipline, Discipline, Discipline... not everything is all about Rough Crazy Sex here. Mind you that's a big aspect but not the whole of what BDSM offers people.
I don't know what more to share with you. You honestly need help is what I think. This is my opinion on the matter. You have a DRAMA TIME BOMB that's waiting to explode and it can/will turn your whole upside down, unless you can get a grip on it.
You actions will not only affect you. They will effect your husband, your kids, your extended family members, perhaps even effect the mutual friendships you and your husband have with other people. This could get real ugly and nasty. This does not mean it will have to be. It all depends upon how receptive your husband might everything.
Perhaps, your husband is aware that something is going on. He might already suspect you are cheating and just has not bothered to rock the boat. He himself just might be trying to enjoy the days he has with you, hoping that you won't be leaving him permantly. Life is strange at times. I can't honestly say one way another about the best way to deal with this.
Again, I stress getting help. If you don't want to get help. The alternative is to continue onward with what you are doing, let the guilt and shame tear you down. Sooner or later the truth will come out, you can't hide this forever.
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RE: secret life style - 
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