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RE: A Poem - 3/3/2008 2:57:37 PM   
Level


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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

Oh my Keillor, you have such a large, throbbing, masterful, almost scary..........critique.

Very hot. And I'm sure I find it thus not just because I'm an English major. Woah, Noah.


Rumor has it he has a big jacket, too.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 121
RE: A Poem - 3/3/2008 3:49:39 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

Oh my Keillor, you have such a large, throbbing, masterful, almost scary..........critique.

Very hot. And I'm sure I find it thus not just because I'm an English major. Woah, Noah.


Rumor has it he has a big jacket, too.


How nice to come back and find people still sharing poetry and talking about my jacket.

Just one man's opinion but I think the best poem of the thread so far is subtee's:

Woah,
Noah.

Can't put my finger on it but it seems to have that certain something.

(did anybody hear an ambulance?)

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 122
RE: A Poem - 3/4/2008 10:19:49 AM   
charmdpetKeira


Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline
One more...
 
Messeges online.
Exhale.
Master is sick.
Chicken noodle soup.
 
k

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 123
RE: A Poem - 3/26/2008 1:35:43 PM   
MasterSteel007


Posts: 54
Joined: 2/13/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

Was that poem put up for critique? or simply for congratulations? 

No dear...that poem was put neithert for critique or congratulations...
Simply for people to read...

Thank you for your comments though and reading.

_____________________________

"Thank You Sir, May I have another?"

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 124
RE: A Poem - 3/26/2008 1:39:07 PM   
MasterSteel007


Posts: 54
Joined: 2/13/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

To be honest it was just a terribly pretentious pile of badly written porn, but thanks for sharing :D


Once again...thank you for your comments and thank you for reading.

_____________________________

"Thank You Sir, May I have another?"

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 125
RE: A Poem - 3/26/2008 1:44:53 PM   
MasterSteel007


Posts: 54
Joined: 2/13/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

What I like is that somehow spanking her when she isn't good is what a Master *SHOULD* do.


It's a poem, Steel, a personal expression, not an instruction book for fuck's sake.

Kind of like when Billy Collins says, in a poem, that the right way to write a poem is to first undress, then peel off your skin and remove all your organs except those down there

He doesn't intend you to follow his instructions, I don't think. It's just that ...

Death and sex
Death and sex
Poetry poetry
Death and sex

Anyway, the original poster had the right organs in the right quantity to put his stuf out there and I applaud him and thank him for it. How many of the big, bad motherfuckers (and motherfuckettes) around here have posted anything that took half that much balls?

A beer-soaked bowling team doesn't owe anyone perfect pitch when they stagger out of the lanes bellowing "WE are the CHAMPIONS".

A tomcat yowling after a good night in his alley doesn't owe anyone deathless verse.

This dude was obviously reelin' with the feelin' and he let it all hang out. I'd rather read something from the heart all day long than crap carefully calculated to appease the kind of critics who never even opened their ear to the little masterpiece of emotional expression lurking under that dandy little pile of mixed metaphors.

I say that poem rocked!

To paraphrase the editor character in "Shipping News": If you want War and Peace go read William Fucking Shakespeare.

In the mean time let's see some poetry from all the other dissers in the thread. I'm sitting here all ready to appreciate it, beer in hand. Or else, go on, try in vain to find a single imperfection in my quatrain above.




Wow! Thank you, Noah. That was pretty nice of you!
Yeas, I just wrote just to write...
remembering different scenes and putting them all together in some verse...
Of course, one knows when you post anything...
You will have comments of all kinds.
But that goes with the territory of posting...
Something you must accept.

_____________________________

"Thank You Sir, May I have another?"

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 126
RE: A Poem - 3/26/2008 1:47:50 PM   
MasterSteel007


Posts: 54
Joined: 2/13/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

I agree, if you post something like that you cant expect people not to talk about it and how they feel about it. 

Exactly!
I agree whole heartedly...
That goes with the territory...
Myself...I would never get angry no matter what anyone say's.
Even if they say it sucks.
That's what makeds America free...
Freedom of speech and I respect that totally.

_____________________________

"Thank You Sir, May I have another?"

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 127
RE: A Poem - 3/26/2008 1:51:51 PM   
MasterSteel007


Posts: 54
Joined: 2/13/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

I would like to, if i may quote a small section of mastersteel007's profile for your perusal

"Yes, I am a Master.
I am the best lover/Master
you will ever experience.
Not saying I will be the
last for you...
But yes, the best...
I shall have you pleading and begging and moaning in ecstacy.
I shall have you trembling with pleasure.
You shall be mine.
Why do you hesitate so?
Come to me now..."

I now have to ask, who thinks that anything we said would have dented this (clearly impressive) man's ego in the slightest? Who now feels utterly remorseful for their previous comments? I must admit, i dont.


Thank you for searching my profile...lol
Most proficient of you!
Sure we post things all the time on this internet.
But isn't the internet one big fantasy?
Does anyone really open themselves totally on it?

_____________________________

"Thank You Sir, May I have another?"

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 128
RE: A Poem - 3/26/2008 1:55:45 PM   
MasterSteel007


Posts: 54
Joined: 2/13/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

No just guys don't actually pay attention to the mechanics of it.

I agree that Skin-a-max porn is bad porn but thats always because I have to work so much harder to get arroused.



We could delve into what porn appeals to whom but i feel it would be hyjacking the post somewhat.. As everyone else has given it a go i thought i would put one of my angsty teen hormone filled poems up :D


The dark grip that pulls me down
The scarlet slash that releases me
The grey thoughts that fill my head
The golden light that soothes me  

The reason that I wake
The reason that I cry
The reason that I laugh
The reason that I sleep  

The black cloud that pulls me back
The violet marks that fill me
The white pain that holds my hand
The light aura that heals me  

The reason that I wake
The reason that I cry
The reason that I laugh
The reason that I sleep




Hmmmm...
I like that verse....actually...

_____________________________

"Thank You Sir, May I have another?"

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 129
RE: A Poem - 3/26/2008 2:20:47 PM   
MasterSteel007


Posts: 54
Joined: 2/13/2008
Status: offline
I must say...
I am amazed at the amount of replies to my measly little poem...
 
I just posted it up as a lark....sitting and typing away
making little nonsense for no one...
I never expected 7 pages of responses and witty conversations,poems,limmericks
and bashings....lol
Thank you all!
I respect each comment.
 
 
*****************************

My Pet
 
So patiently waiting in the castle
with tremblings thighs for me
As her velvet dress so rustles
in her tender lust for me
 
She so humble and so waiting
for my hand, my loin, my lips
I hold her as she sleeps so soundly
I nibble her fingertips
 
I sip the wine and watch her body
thinking of when she cried for me
I brush her hair and hold her tightly
wanting her to melt for me
 
She lives to serve me, she longs to taste me
my heart does skip a beat
I will forever be her Master
if she will submit to me
 
Her eyes shine brightly as she strips
her face my sweet mystery
He perfume melts me all the while
she explodes in ecstacy
 
If you've never had such a pet
Then you cannot live
It's not the one who wants to take
but merely the one who'll give

_____________________________

"Thank You Sir, May I have another?"

(in reply to MasterSteel007)
Profile   Post #: 130
RE: A Poem - 3/26/2008 2:25:20 PM   
ifyoudontknow


Posts: 30
Joined: 1/28/2008
Status: offline
*falls over laughing at the above*

of course.. i posted a poem here as well.. i'm glad i got some positive feedback.. only scared one person .. *giggles*

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 131
RE: A Poem - 3/26/2008 2:34:21 PM   
MontrealPhoenix


Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

What I like is that somehow spanking her when she isn't good is what a Master *SHOULD* do.

Hell apparently I been doing all wrong all these years cause I spank her becuase she is good and she is good cause she knoes if she is I'll spank her.

Guess I ain't a Twue Master after all

**Drops his Badge and Decoder Ring at the door and heads off to find the rest of the Fake ones**

*gasp* You mean all this time i've been talking to a fake Master? I feel so used..so cheap...so confused.. *slips badge and decoder ring into her pocket*

< Message edited by MontrealPhoenix -- 3/26/2008 2:35:40 PM >


_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267



(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 132
RE: A Poem - 3/26/2008 3:29:13 PM   
MasterSteel007


Posts: 54
Joined: 2/13/2008
Status: offline
Also...I must say....
I did change my profile quote....
It WAS a bt forward and pretentious...
I agree!
You know how it is...
You start a profile and just have a ball spouting words into that little box!....lol

_____________________________

"Thank You Sir, May I have another?"

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 133
RE: A Poem - 3/26/2008 3:49:12 PM   
MontrealPhoenix


Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSteel007

Also...I must say....
I did change my profile quote....
It WAS a bt forward and pretentious...
I agree!
You know how it is...
You start a profile and just have a ball spouting words into that little box!....lol

I just threw a bunch of words into a bag, shook it up and threw the words at my profile to see what would stick...

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267



(in reply to MasterSteel007)
Profile   Post #: 134
RE: A Poem - 3/26/2008 4:01:22 PM   
mindfullyYours


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/5/2006
Status: offline
i'll throw out my little bit of sacrilege here for what it's worth:

the Psalm of Master

my Lord is my Master; i shall not want.
He leads me to search out greener pastures;
He teaches me the strength of still waters.
He owns my soul;
He points my feet on a journey that is right for me, for i am His.
Even though my path leads through the unknown and untried;
i fear no harm: For He is with me;
His rod and His staff, they comfort me.
His collar encircles my neck with steel; my heart overflows.
He completes and strengthens me through discipline, love, and pain;
Surely honor and trust shall blossom in me all the days of my life,
and my will, surrendered to the control of my Master, forever.

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 135
RE: A Poem - 3/27/2008 2:33:24 PM   
MariaIsabel


Posts: 57
Joined: 11/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSteel007

Passions Drip


She, so tied upon my bed

and me, so standing by her head

She takes me in her mouth so warm

In my loins my blood does swarm


The thrusting into her wetness yet

It will be an eventful night, you bet

She's so spread eagle and open wide

and Me, not fully in my stride


I thrust my fingers into her lair

and with my fist, I clench her hair

She wants to cummm, but I think not

It's on my command and in her spot


For when she loves me on her knees

my eyes do tear, my soul she'll please

I pound her deep into the night

not with much pain or lots of fright



I'll treat her the way a Master should

only spanking her when she isn't good

But wait! I think I hear a sigh

She wants to cummm, she wants to fly



Finally, I allow pet to explode

her dam erupts a mother load

I love it when she squirts for me

utter joy and ecstacy



She is mine forever more

Never again will she need the door

I will untie her eventually

when I am satisfied and full of glee


The I will cuddle her in my arms

and she will enjoy her Masters charms

For only true Masters can make her see

The simple purpose of serving me.


Master Steel




i love the whole thing i love when i feel exactly what the poem describes its like that is exactly what puts me isn subspace

(in reply to MasterSteel007)
Profile   Post #: 136
RE: A Poem - 3/27/2008 3:00:02 PM   
MontrealPhoenix


Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

whew, i think some people are way too serious here, but then again i really like waffles so what do i know?


lol that is totally the second time in as many days you have mentioned waffles, im thinking you may need a 12 step program :P



lol...well, what if i mentioned pork rinds or canned shrimp sandwiches?  would that get me off the 12 step  program hook?

...and don't forget the Cheetos sammiches you've mentioned enjoying...what kind of bread do you use for that, i happen to have some Cheetos in the house...

Phoenix

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267



(in reply to christine1)
Profile   Post #: 137
RE: A Poem - 3/27/2008 3:36:37 PM   
SixFootMaster


Posts: 829
Joined: 9/27/2007
Status: offline
Most people can write poetry. Many people can write decent poetry. Some people can write good poetry. Very few can write sublime poetry.

It's not a point to discouraging people from writing poetry, but rather to suggest that there may be other literary forms that their creative talents are better suited for.


_____________________________

How-so oft fresh injurious deed
Doth turn Janus' petulant gaze
'pon the rocks and storm rift sea
And littered wood of broken days
disregard for toil shown
no ground broken, no seed sewn.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 138
RE: A Poem - 3/27/2008 10:05:52 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
I do not like green eggs and ham.

(in reply to MasterSteel007)
Profile   Post #: 139
RE: A Poem - 3/27/2008 10:18:04 PM   
SixFootMaster


Posts: 829
Joined: 9/27/2007
Status: offline
By all that's unholy, Maria, snip your quote!

_____________________________

How-so oft fresh injurious deed
Doth turn Janus' petulant gaze
'pon the rocks and storm rift sea
And littered wood of broken days
disregard for toil shown
no ground broken, no seed sewn.

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
Profile   Post #: 140
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